When our dear old pal the Scottish Labour super-goon Duncan Hothersall tweeted this earlier today, we just couldn’t resist a wee fact-check. We love to see people take the moral high ground, but numbers are fluid these days and you can’t be too careful.
Some manner of strange, alien vortex swallowed the very concept of arithmetic as we know it earlier this evening. The answer to the question “what is 431 minus 425?” was variously reported by the media as -7, -14, +31 and -30, with nowhere that we could find offering the seemingly obvious answer of “6”. But that was only the beginning.
Because language wasn’t immune from the sudden redefinitions either. The Tories, who finished 155 seats behind the SNP, nevertheless proclaimed themselves not only the winners of the election, but the sole winners.
With all 32 councils now having declared, the Scottish local elections are over and the SNP have won again, taking 431 seats. Last time round in 2012 they took 425.
You might think you know the difference between 431 and 425. But you don’t.
This post is mostly here to give people somewhere to chat about the council election results as they come in. But this song, with a hat-tip to alert reader SparkleMonkey, is dedicated specifically and personally to the now-former Scottish Labour councillor (and one-time leader of Aberdeen City Council) Willie Young, who was ejected by the electorate earlier today.
Today is going to be a day of realignment in Scottish politics, in which the Tories will formally become the main opposition to the SNP. (Having already pipped Labour to second at Holyrood and having as many Westminster MPs as them.) Expect modest SNP gains and big Tory ones, both mainly from Labour, who have already lost overall control of Glasgow, their last stronghold.
Everything’s different after today, folks. Scotland’s choice will never have been more stark: extreme Tories in the UK for years and years to come, or self-governance. Let the chips fall where the people choose.
Earlier this morning an alert reader directed us to an article in the Daily Express which seemed to make an eye-catchingly remarkable claim. It turned out to be one actually made by Ruth Davidson on Saturday (which had already been reported in the Express that day), when she appeared on Iain Dale’s radio show on LBC.
A 27% swing? From the SNP to the Tories? Putting the Tories AHEAD in the polls? That would be such a stupendously Earth-shattering development in Scottish politics that you’d think the media would have made more of it than a couple of mentions in an embarrassing low-circulation comic like the Express.
Scottish schoolchildren start their exams today. We wish them good luck, because if any of them have taken their lead in language skills from the nation’s media they’re going to be in a lot of trouble.
For 10% of extra course credit, let’s find out why.
We had to rub our eyes when we got up this morning, because we thought we must have opened the wrong issue of the Times tablet app by mistake – the lead Scotland story seemed to be a reprint of a piece from the previous day’s Sunday Times.
We greatly enjoyed Any Questions on Radio 4 this week. Well chaired by Jonathan Dimbleby, it was a mostly grown-up and adult discussion of issues around nationalism and independence, perhaps assisted by the fact that – we gather – Scottish Labour branch manager Kezia Dugdale was unable to take part and was replaced as a Labour representative by Lord Falconer, who offered some considered and intelligent views.
The only slight wasp in the ointment was Tory list MSP Adam Tomkins, who delivered his usual boorish, patrician and arrogant debating style, which was frequently met with boos, jeers and catcalls from a feisty Blantyre audience. But he did come out with one rather unexpected and off-message policy position.
This appears to be a genuine question from a YouGov poll going out to selected areas of the country today. We’ve had a couple of people confirm it to us who we have no reason to disbelieve. (It also asked this.)
The particular political arrangement it’s testing the waters of public opinion on there is fascist dictatorship. God help us all.
Young Lochinvar on The Nobodies: “Yup James Pretty well sums it up. Yet they bleat that the Rev should ban the likes of you and…” Aug 2, 01:30
James on The Nobodies: “Are the Yoons masochists? Do they post here all day, every day because they seek derision? Or is it the…” Aug 1, 23:28
Insider on The Nobodies: “Fatso @ 10:59 Be quiet,child! You are just an embarrassment to yourself and the whole Indy movement!” Aug 1, 23:16
James on The Nobodies: “Aw, don’t take on so, Adrian, petal. Rest assured; it’s only walloper Tory unionist wankers like you, posting all day,…” Aug 1, 22:59
Andy Wiltshire on The Nobodies: “There is a hierarchy of rights nowadays, and children don’t figure in it at all.” Aug 1, 21:51
Aidan on The Nobodies: “Wow you called ‘Reform’ ‘Deform’! That’s so funny and clever, have you got a slot at the fringe?” Aug 1, 20:47
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Many of us here are “prejudiced” over what we see as medieval and barbaric practices. Beheading, for example, we Scots…” Aug 1, 20:17
sarah on The Nobodies: “Same here, Ronnie. At least I have a couple of his Hamish mugs to cheer me up!” Aug 1, 20:01
diabloandco on The Nobodies: “Fearghas, I remember watching and becoming so enraged by man’s disgusting inhumanity with no redeeming features.” Aug 1, 19:02
TURABDIN on The Nobodies: “Assuming your musings on Islamic and its culture are not intended as irony, they then present as the quintessence of…” Aug 1, 16:46
twathater on The Nobodies: “It’s funny James you would think they would be too busy pushing deform’s vote winning messaging , too busy laying…” Aug 1, 15:46
Aidan on The Nobodies: “If you aren’t happy with the company here James, you could always start your own website. Perhaps obnoxious fat stinking…” Aug 1, 14:41
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Nobodies: “Another sad snatch of “Colonial Victimhood”: BLACK ‘47 (Trailer) www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pSGZt-mhSY” Aug 1, 13:25
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “The great thing about every revolution is that it can never be finished. There will always be backsliders, or faint…” Aug 1, 10:56
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “A trifle harsh, Wally. I’m convinced my comments continue to improve. Any chance you could change your handle? We already…” Aug 1, 10:41
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Nobodies: “Further “Colonial Victimhood” (sic) from Bill Rolston, emeritus professor at Ulster University: BILL ROLSTON: IRELAND, COLONIALISM AND THE UNFINISHED REVOLUTION…” Aug 1, 10:28
Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: “You’re the only “Whopper” round here, Fatso. 🙂” Aug 1, 10:21
James on The Nobodies: “Just what this site needs; yet another Tory Whopper. Jesus wept.” Aug 1, 09:59
Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: “Very true. This whole left wing inspired “Colonial Victimhood” is truly nauseating, childish, monotonous and frankly offensive misappropriation.” Aug 1, 09:53
william G Walker on The Nobodies: “I do enjoy the opening sentence of Wally’s message! Wally Jumblatt says: 1 August, 2026 at 8:47 am The articles…” Aug 1, 09:13
Wally Jumblatt on The Nobodies: “The articles are always articulate and compelling, but the comments get worse and noisier. Colonies and Freedom, you’ll never get…” Aug 1, 08:47
Anthem on The Nobodies: “Ah, so that’s why BP bought up all those natural energy licences and about to pump £bn’s into it. They’re…” Jul 31, 21:21
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Because the Scottish government is even keener on Nutt Zero than WM. Because the Scottish government has committed Scotland to…” Jul 31, 19:51
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Strange as it is for me to be sticking up for Confused, he does have a point. I am willing…” Jul 31, 19:43
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “It’s doable if we get the towel heids to do all the hard bits. No doubt that’s the part of…” Jul 31, 19:32
Insider on The Nobodies: “Anthem @ 6:05, You’re having a laugh, aren’t you ?” Jul 31, 18:53
Anthem on The Nobodies: “A little off topic, but why can’t the Scottish government purchase the oil & Gas from BP? It would make…” Jul 31, 18:05
Jay on The Nobodies: “Thank you Agent x” Jul 31, 17:16
Minceheid on The Nobodies: “To be fair they did have a few clever ideas back in yer Golden Age, but sadly it all went…” Jul 31, 16:59