Today’s Daily Record has a swipe at Jeremy Corbyn for, well, let’s call them “mixed messages” over a second independence referendum. It suggests his Scottish branch manager Kezia Dugdale would have “her head in her hands” over his latest comments, which is a bit rich considering Dugdale’s own history on the subject.
And since her headline boast when she took over as leader of the North British office was that people would know exactly what Labour stood for (and indeed she spent all of the weekend’s keynote Sunday Politics interview listing all the things she’d been very very clear about), we thought we’d have a recap and see how that was going.
Apologies in advance about this, folks, but it’s driving us mad. We got into a Twitter argument with some Tory balloon last night and this morning, and to cut a long story short it got us looking at the 1951 UK general election result.
History records it as a Tory majority, securing just over half of the Parliamentary seats (321 of 625) and forming the government under Winston Churchill despite narrowly losing the popular vote to Labour (48% to 48.8%).
But if you examine the result in the House Of Commons Library the numbers don’t add up, and we can’t figure out why.
Tremendous news for the rest of Scotland’s football clubs as Celtic manager Brendan Rodgers promises never to win the treble unbeaten again, even if his side score more goals than the other team in all their matches.
…is roughly how often Aberdeen get to the final of the Scottish Cup these days. The last time was 17 years ago – a tournament which started in the last century and ended the year Rangers started paying their players with EBTs – when SFA rules meant that they had to play almost the entire game without a recognised goalkeeper.
(A tackle in the third minute broke veteran custodian Jim Leighton’s jaw, and because you were only allowed three players on the subs bench the Dons had no backup No.1 and had to put striker Robbie Winters between the sticks, with a predictable outcome. Leighton never played professional football again.)
In politics, Labour were only one year into the first ever administration of the modern Scottish Parliament, and still in the first term of Tony Blair’s rule at Westminster. The idea of the SNP winning an election, let alone holding an independence referendum, was the preserve of mad fantasists.
And the last time the Pittodrie side actually won the trophy was 27 years back, which is so long ago that most of Hampden was still open to the elements.
Still, it would be weird if we got to the final again next year and some of the Aberdeen support refused to go on the grounds that the matter of who was the best cup football team in Scotland had been settled forever today.
Or if Celtic won but had fielded an ineligible player and the SFA ordered a replay, but the Dons declined to take part because they’d played too many finals recently.
We hadn’t been planning to talk any more about the curious case of Claire Austin, the suddenly publicity-shy Edinburgh nurse who – how can we put this? – seemed a rather ill-chosen figurehead for the good cause of getting more pay for a group of people who are rightly well-regarded by the public.
But yesterday, the release of a letter from Scottish Labour branch manager Kezia Dugdale re-opened political hostilities after last week’s hiatus for the Manchester terror attack by shoving the now-reticent Ms Austin right back into the spotlight.
Politics is still on hiatus after the dreadful events of Manchester, so we’ve taken the chance to go and enjoy the sudden summer weather while nothing was happening.
And today, as we (“Drove at a legal speed” – Ed) across the pretty hills overlooking Bath in an inexpensive convertible, a song came on the stereo that made us think of all the Unionist trolls who were still busily raging on Twitter – mainly about the SNP’s awful failure to light up every building in Scotland with the Union Jack in tribute to the dead (no, really), but also at the most recent data “proving” that independence would mean the country regressing to the Stone Age and whatnot.
So we thought we’d share it with you, because as well as having a jaunty tune it’s got a good attitude to adopt when they’re screaming and yelling themselves red, white and blue in the face about something or other, rather than wasting your time and mental equilibrium on being dragged into their fetid mind-swamp.
It works on any day, even if you’re not in a sports car.
The spanking new issue of Viz, which is totally still a thing, is out today at all good newsagents. The cover promises a “FANTASTIC FREE VOTING AID” inside, and we thought you’d be at least mildly and fleetingly amused by the Scottish aspect. Of it.
Pop out to the shops and buy a Viz*, readers. (Or subscribe to try three issues for a mere £1.) It’s just as funny as it used to be but much less popular, so it’s cool again.
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*Wings Over Scotland has no connection to Viz or Dennis Publishing Ltd and has received no inducement for this endorsement. Although we’re open to offers.
(NB The media is understandably mostly occupied today with the horrific events in Manchester. But life goes on – music websites are still talking about music, football websites are still talking about football, videogames websites are still talking about videogames. Any rational observations about terrorism made here would be screamed down as making political capital from tragedy. So let’s get on with the day job.)
If you apply to go on a televised political debate and then submit a question to ask a national leader, it seems a reasonable deduction that you want that issue to be raised and discussed. If you also make it personal by describing your own circumstances, it seems logical that you’d want those circumstances to be widely publicised, and to be asked about them so you could say more and tell your story to the country.
So it’s a bit odd that Edinburgh nurse Claire Austin has suddenly gone off the radar.
We’re not going to join in the attacks on a nurse who criticised Nicola Sturgeon during last night’s BBC election debate. While her lifestyle seems at a glance to be wildly at odds with her claim that she relied on foodbanks to survive, there are – genuinely – possible explanations for at least most of it.
Owning a convertible car isn’t proof that someone’s wealthy – I have one myself that’s worth less than £1000, and I also have a relative who has very little money but who nevertheless owns a horse just like Claire Austin’s daughter seemingly does. (It’s also possible to be quite poor but still own things you bought when you were less poor.)
It ill befits Yes supporters – who are happy to deploy the existence and growing use of foodbanks to justifiably attack the UK government – to complain if someone who calls the First Minister “wee Jimmy Krankie” adopts the same tactic. More to the point, we entirely agree with Ms Austin’s core view that nurses should be paid more in general, as we suspect most people do.
(And in Scotland, of course, they ARE paid more than in the rest of the UK, and under the SNP have always been given the full pay rises recommended by the independent pay board, which hasn’t been the case in England.)
But that still leaves some things hanging disquietingly in the air.
Northcode on Looking up at the stars: “Aye, Fearghas. It has bugger aw tae dae with DNA. It’s oor superior Pictish culture, wit and intelligence that separates…” Mar 16, 13:08
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “That’s probably a bit of drivel and a bit of waffle Northcode” Mar 16, 12:15
Northcode on Looking up at the stars: “Those are English words you’re defining there and bear no relevance to the comment I posted entirely in Scots. I…” Mar 16, 12:06
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “Thank you Northcode, a few others to add: – Waffle: to talk or write a lot without giving any useful…” Mar 16, 11:56
Northcode on Looking up at the stars: “Guid day aw ye lowelie fowk wandrin knotless aboot this place leukin fir tae escape the warld’s stupeedity. Sadly, ye’ll…” Mar 16, 11:41
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The Future Is Yesterday: “I was just ahead of the game… https://archive.is/nFkfX” Mar 16, 11:04
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Looking up at the stars: “« Pictish and Gaelic areas shows no sign of population replacement. There is no genetic marker that separates Picts from…” Mar 16, 10:54
Alf Baird on Looking up at the stars: “We must be getting ivver closer tae oor naitional leeberation, Hatey, because postcolonial theory reminds us the first thing a…” Mar 16, 10:36
Sven on Looking up at the stars: ““Scribbling’s”, well, it’s grammar Chas, however not as we know it.” Mar 16, 10:24
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “It has everything to do with you highlighting Egypt as apparently a country doing it right and saying that Scotland…” Mar 16, 09:55
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Stating that London filled with tea towel wearers yesterday, many with Arabic writing on? Stating that FGM is quite extensively…” Mar 16, 09:29
Dan on Looking up at the stars: “@Aidan And yet you saw fit to add shite like air pollution, people getting killed in railway accidents, and quality…” Mar 16, 09:25
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “I bet you thought you had written “breathe”.” Mar 16, 09:22
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “@Geri Get yersel doon tae Currys. If you’ve been using ink for yer online posts, they may still be able…” Mar 16, 09:18
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Tell ye fit ah’ll dae, YL. Haund oan the Holy Bible, Ah’ll swear a solemn vow tae naiver post oan…” Mar 16, 09:09
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “The Al-Fayrous fish farm is actually just off the Suez Canal, but the wider point is that it’s very odd…” Mar 16, 09:03
Chas on Looking up at the stars: “Eloquent, factual, knowledgeable and well researched are words that you would NEVER associate with any of your deranged scribbling’s. Very…” Mar 16, 08:26
Dan on Looking up at the stars: “@Aidan The Al-Fayrous fish farm I linked to is on the coast of the Med, so must be some crazy…” Mar 16, 08:23
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “I find watching paint dry is more fulfilling.” Mar 16, 07:59
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “I’m a big fan of small community growing projects so more power to you as far as I’m concerned. Equally,…” Mar 16, 07:10
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “He doesn’t seem very wise. A wiser man would’ve said: Look mate, you clearly don’t like that forum, now fck…” Mar 16, 00:35
Geri on Looking up at the stars: ““but you seem to jet about the place a fair bit” I think that’ll be a thing of the past…” Mar 16, 00:25
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Ten past eleven and Hatey has been unco quiet.. Hmmm.. Oh heck, wait Sky Arts has Exodus (1960) on -…” Mar 15, 23:19
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Stop!! Don’t do it Hatey! Getting out and socialising is said to help. Perhaps removing yourself from online forums like…” Mar 15, 22:54
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “So Chas, given adults have a choice, why not expect everyone else to scroll on past your posts? Open forum…” Mar 15, 22:37
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Aaawww! Don’t take it so hard Hatey-proud boy, contrary to what you seem to believe, people aren’t just posting here…” Mar 15, 22:24
Dan on Looking up at the stars: “@Aidan I don’t expect myself or everyone else to grow all our own food requirements in our gardens. But I…” Mar 15, 19:52
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “He won’t need that if he’s wearing blackface. Unless … what skin colour were the Picts? I think there’s a…” Mar 15, 18:35
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Feck knows what you’re on about, but if you think it’s true, go before a Justice of the Peace and…” Mar 15, 18:07