Like some sort of out-of-control, unstoppable lying machine, Scottish Labour keep telling the electorate that the party with the most seats in a hung parliament is the one that forms the government, and that the only way to prevent the Conservatives from returning to power is for Labour to be the biggest party.
(Because if the answer is yes then Labour’s entire Scottish election strategy – “Vote SNP get Tories!” – crumbles to dust, and if it’s no then Labour is saying that it’d be prepared to abandon not just Scotland but the whole UK to another five years of Conservative government purely out of spite against the SNP.)
Three of the party’s elected representatives have now been asked the question on air – James Kelly MSP by John Mackay of Scotland Tonight a week ago, branch office leader Jim Murphy by BBC Scotland’s Gary Robertson yesterday, and the shadow Scottish Secretary Margaret Curran last night (below), again by STV’s John Mackay.
As you can see, Scotland’s voters still await an answer. But on this page we’ll keep track of all the swerves, evasions and dodges until we get one, if we ever do.
Because we took a short break over the weekend, we sadly missed Labour’s solemn commemorations of the 1979 confidence vote, and as a result we don’t know whether anyone actually did don a black armband or lay a wreath to remember the miners that Labour didn’t support when they went on strike a few years later.
We’re going to compile all of these onto a single page soon, because as you can see, Scottish Labour just can’t seem to stop telling this lie.
Today’s expert saying “Does it, aye?” (and the latest in a long and distinguished line) is Peter Riddell from the Institute For Government, speaking on Radio 4’s “World At One” this afternoon (from 35m).
As readers will know, when professional broadcast journalists can’t or won’t do their jobs properly, we’re not above jumping in ourselves.
So when someone tweeted to tell us that Jim Murphy had just started a phone-in on London station LBC, it seemed an ideal opportunity to quickly ring up and try directly asking him the question that Scottish Labour really, really don’t want to answer.
An alert reader pointed us to this edition of Newsnight we’d missed earlier this month, featuring the renowned Conservative Party chairman and liar Grant Shapps MP.
The population of the UK, according to the 2011 census, is 63,128,000. Shapps just told us he only cares about 11,200 of them (or 0.018%), because apparently those are all the votes the Tories need to turn round to secure an absolute majority in May’s general election. We very much doubt that any of the 23 target constituences he mentions, across which the required 11,200 votes are spread, are in Scotland.
And that, readers, is what the Tories (and, for that matter, Labour) really think of “the democratic will of the British people”. You may want to keep it in mind when you vote.
Because almost nobody in Westminster, whether they’re politicians or the media, ever pays any attention to anything outside SW1A, Alex Salmond’s comment in London yesterday that the SNP would vote against any Tory government in the event of a hung Parliament – which to any Scottish person was news as surprising as a weather forecast for rain – has been greeted with seemingly-genuine shock and horror.
Reporter after reporter has treated the non-revelations (which have been official SNP policy for as long as we can remember, and were stated explicitly by Nicola Sturgeon in November) as a stunning bolt from the blue, and Tory politicians and the right-wing media alike have burst into frothing, spluttering rage, based on the fact that apparently none of them grasps how either the UK electoral system or basic arithmetic work.
We’ve had to illustrate this piece with a tweet from our old chum Duncan Hothersall, because at the time of writing the Scottish Labour account on Twitter has no mention of Labour’s “five point plan”, and nor does the branch office’s website.
And the reason for the absence of any more information is probably that the “plan” is another example of a Labour policy that looks like a tasty boiled egg until you crack its shell and discover that there’s nothing inside.
Respect to John MacKay of STV, who on last night’s Scotland Tonight asked Labour MSP James Kelly the question this site has called for about whether Labour would stand aside and let the Tories rule if the latter were the largest party after May’s election, but Labour had enough seats to win a confidence vote and form the government with backing from the SNP and/or other parties.
Kelly, unsurprisingly, flapped and blustered and totally evaded it. But then we doubt he has the authority to make the tea in Scottish Labour, let alone speak for the party on key policy issues. If the question isn’t put repeatedly by all of the media to more senior Labour figures until an answer is produced, we’ll be wanting to know why.
Here’s Ed Miliband, giving a speech this morning to literally at least 20 Labour MPs, Labour MSPs, journalists and possibly a stray member of the public who accidentally walked through the wrong door in Clydebank, a place where Labour leaders used to address gatherings of thousands.
Unusually, Miliband took a few questions from the hacks, all of whom promptly wasted the opportunity by lobbing completely pointless softballs about coalitions and deals, all of which (a) have been asked a hundred times already, (b) were rendered moot by Alex Salmond on the Marr show yesterday, and (c) were only ever going to be batted away non-committally.
So here’s an actually worthwhile one they can ask instead next time.
Southernbystander on Believers In The Ruins: “He was hounded by a relentless media onslaught, much of it driven but those made mad with rage by their…” Aug 16, 21:59
john h williams on Believers In The Ruins: “Captain Caveman very well said,it is a disgraceful post from someone who has very little idea of Autism or disabilities…” Aug 16, 19:57
James on Believers In The Ruins: “Look at yersel in a mirror, wee man; you’ll see yin.” Aug 16, 19:37
DaveL on Believers In The Ruins: “That’s rich coming from the Nazi fanboy himself! Who’d be Hatey? What a winner!” Aug 16, 18:59
agentx on Believers In The Ruins: “When you see “Confused says:” scroll on by.” Aug 16, 18:44
Alf Baird on Believers In The Ruins: ““”In physics, the concept of “opposites attract” is a foundational principle.” It is well known that certain groups of colonized…” Aug 16, 18:39
Red on Believers In The Ruins: “It’s regrettable when empathetic hearts are tricked into sympathy for the worst people. This is what Courtney Gartshore did, without…” Aug 16, 17:43
Hatey McHateface on Believers In The Ruins: “Pointless. Murrell endorses superglue for Scotland. Don’t be fobbed off with inferior substitutes.” Aug 16, 17:21
Hatey McHateface on Believers In The Ruins: “C’moan Confused. Dae Restore next! Then the Jews aboot 9 PM after the second boattle kicks in. It’s nae lik…” Aug 16, 17:19
robertkknight on Believers In The Ruins: “Hammer meets nail. Farage would sell his own Granny for glue.” Aug 16, 16:34
twathater on Believers In The Ruins: “Keep on telling it like it is confused , don’t let the middle class claimants put you off” Aug 16, 15:40
Hatey McHateface on Believers In The Ruins: “Light cannot exist without darkness? So if I turn on a bright light in a dark room, I can’t turn…” Aug 16, 15:01
Hatey McHateface on Believers In The Ruins: “Sorry, TURABDIN, you may not be fully up to speed with the lunacy here. Burnham is simultaneously letting real criminals…” Aug 16, 14:54
Hatey McHateface on Believers In The Ruins: “Hands up now! How many alert readers have twigged that a fatberg can’t ever know what a phallus is!” Aug 16, 14:46
Captain Caveman on Believers In The Ruins: ““An appalling post stuffed full of ignorance and bile” Welcome to Confused.” Aug 16, 13:43
James on Believers In The Ruins: “Adrian; noted and acknowledged. Meanwhile, as predicted the site phallus appears just like clockwork….. But you’re the one doing all…” Aug 16, 13:26
Spartan 117 on Believers In The Ruins: “An appalling post stuffed full of ignorance and bile, aside from the closing point about the BBC and the Western…” Aug 16, 13:20
Southernbystander on Believers In The Ruins: “TURABDIN, If there is irony there it is covered in too much of the blank variety, and so has become…” Aug 16, 12:53
Confused on Believers In The Ruins: “er, the point I was making about “things can always get worse” – https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cz977nxww1jo the main reason people hit the…” Aug 16, 12:24
TURABDIN on Believers In The Ruins: “THE SCOTTISH ANTISYZYGY PARADOX AND PHYSICS. Understanding Oppositional Forces in Physics Fundamental Principles In physics, the concept of “opposites attract”…” Aug 16, 12:01
Captain Caveman on Believers In The Ruins: “@Alf Well, there’s only one person around here “in perpetual darkness of their Colonial Echo Chamber®”, Alf – as you…” Aug 16, 11:46
Jay on Believers In The Ruins: “Hi 100%, i typed in all those characters but youtube and this tablet do not communicate. Was keen to see…” Aug 16, 11:39
Hatey McHateface on Believers In The Ruins: “I think Burnham shouldn’t have been daft enough to threaten people flouting the disposable barbecue rule with prison. Even if…” Aug 16, 11:20
Hatey McHateface on Believers In The Ruins: “Odd hoo mony times I post tae Northy and you reply, Alf. Or vice versa. Here’s an echo I just…” Aug 16, 11:11
Hatey McHateface on Believers In The Ruins: “We can all see and understand those cases where a cold blooded killer is arrested, charged, tried and sentenced, and…” Aug 16, 10:46
100%Yes on Believers In The Ruins: “@ alurker and everyone else link to this conversation. Lets say for arguments sake, that Scotland doesn’t exist anymore just…” Aug 16, 10:34
Alf Baird on Believers In The Ruins: “Here is a wee bittie licht for yersel an ithers Hatey, in the perpetual darkness of your colonial echo chamber:…” Aug 16, 10:22
Alf Baird on Believers In The Ruins: ““These must be English elections in Scotland seeing as the English parliament was not dissolved 3 hundred years ago.” True,…” Aug 15, 21:59
Aidan on Believers In The Ruins: “For once I have to agree with James, there are no jurisdictions to my knowledge where the death penalty is…” Aug 15, 21:42
James on Believers In The Ruins: “Well said, Grace. “…When are we going to bring back the death penalty…” they wail. If they could, they could…” Aug 15, 21:20