Like some sort of out-of-control, unstoppable lying machine, Scottish Labour keep telling the electorate that the party with the most seats in a hung parliament is the one that forms the government, and that the only way to prevent the Conservatives from returning to power is for Labour to be the biggest party.
(Because if the answer is yes then Labour’s entire Scottish election strategy – “Vote SNP get Tories!” – crumbles to dust, and if it’s no then Labour is saying that it’d be prepared to abandon not just Scotland but the whole UK to another five years of Conservative government purely out of spite against the SNP.)
Three of the party’s elected representatives have now been asked the question on air – James Kelly MSP by John Mackay of Scotland Tonight a week ago, branch office leader Jim Murphy by BBC Scotland’s Gary Robertson yesterday, and the shadow Scottish Secretary Margaret Curran last night (below), again by STV’s John Mackay.
As you can see, Scotland’s voters still await an answer. But on this page we’ll keep track of all the swerves, evasions and dodges until we get one, if we ever do.
Because we took a short break over the weekend, we sadly missed Labour’s solemn commemorations of the 1979 confidence vote, and as a result we don’t know whether anyone actually did don a black armband or lay a wreath to remember the miners that Labour didn’t support when they went on strike a few years later.
We’re going to compile all of these onto a single page soon, because as you can see, Scottish Labour just can’t seem to stop telling this lie.
Today’s expert saying “Does it, aye?” (and the latest in a long and distinguished line) is Peter Riddell from the Institute For Government, speaking on Radio 4’s “World At One” this afternoon (from 35m).
As readers will know, when professional broadcast journalists can’t or won’t do their jobs properly, we’re not above jumping in ourselves.
So when someone tweeted to tell us that Jim Murphy had just started a phone-in on London station LBC, it seemed an ideal opportunity to quickly ring up and try directly asking him the question that Scottish Labour really, really don’t want to answer.
An alert reader pointed us to this edition of Newsnight we’d missed earlier this month, featuring the renowned Conservative Party chairman and liar Grant Shapps MP.
The population of the UK, according to the 2011 census, is 63,128,000. Shapps just told us he only cares about 11,200 of them (or 0.018%), because apparently those are all the votes the Tories need to turn round to secure an absolute majority in May’s general election. We very much doubt that any of the 23 target constituences he mentions, across which the required 11,200 votes are spread, are in Scotland.
And that, readers, is what the Tories (and, for that matter, Labour) really think of “the democratic will of the British people”. You may want to keep it in mind when you vote.
Because almost nobody in Westminster, whether they’re politicians or the media, ever pays any attention to anything outside SW1A, Alex Salmond’s comment in London yesterday that the SNP would vote against any Tory government in the event of a hung Parliament – which to any Scottish person was news as surprising as a weather forecast for rain – has been greeted with seemingly-genuine shock and horror.
Reporter after reporter has treated the non-revelations (which have been official SNP policy for as long as we can remember, and were stated explicitly by Nicola Sturgeon in November) as a stunning bolt from the blue, and Tory politicians and the right-wing media alike have burst into frothing, spluttering rage, based on the fact that apparently none of them grasps how either the UK electoral system or basic arithmetic work.
We’ve had to illustrate this piece with a tweet from our old chum Duncan Hothersall, because at the time of writing the Scottish Labour account on Twitter has no mention of Labour’s “five point plan”, and nor does the branch office’s website.
And the reason for the absence of any more information is probably that the “plan” is another example of a Labour policy that looks like a tasty boiled egg until you crack its shell and discover that there’s nothing inside.
Respect to John MacKay of STV, who on last night’s Scotland Tonight asked Labour MSP James Kelly the question this site has called for about whether Labour would stand aside and let the Tories rule if the latter were the largest party after May’s election, but Labour had enough seats to win a confidence vote and form the government with backing from the SNP and/or other parties.
Kelly, unsurprisingly, flapped and blustered and totally evaded it. But then we doubt he has the authority to make the tea in Scottish Labour, let alone speak for the party on key policy issues. If the question isn’t put repeatedly by all of the media to more senior Labour figures until an answer is produced, we’ll be wanting to know why.
Here’s Ed Miliband, giving a speech this morning to literally at least 20 Labour MPs, Labour MSPs, journalists and possibly a stray member of the public who accidentally walked through the wrong door in Clydebank, a place where Labour leaders used to address gatherings of thousands.
Unusually, Miliband took a few questions from the hacks, all of whom promptly wasted the opportunity by lobbing completely pointless softballs about coalitions and deals, all of which (a) have been asked a hundred times already, (b) were rendered moot by Alex Salmond on the Marr show yesterday, and (c) were only ever going to be batted away non-committally.
So here’s an actually worthwhile one they can ask instead next time.
sarah on These Words Are My Own: “Oh dear, Rev. You will never get on in public life. Far too principled and brave.” Jul 17, 22:53
Hatey McHateface on A Matter Of Declinature: “I see, Alf. Inevitably, yes, but individually to a greater or lesser extent. Like death, inevitable, but not for everyone,…” Jul 17, 22:39
Hatey Mchateface on A Matter Of Declinature: ““More to be pitied then scorned sadly” Ach, why not stick in your comfort zone and scorn ignorantly? Or sit…” Jul 17, 22:33
sam on These Words Are My Own: “Sturgeon is unlikely to ever want to face cross examination in court on any of the issues you raise. And…” Jul 17, 22:28
Hatey McHateface on A Matter Of Declinature: “Scots blokes are able to present themselves as women. It doesn’t mean they’re women. If you don’t understand what “present”…” Jul 17, 22:22
robertkknight on These Words Are My Own: “Well said all round. The dogs in the street know who did what to whom and when and why. Agent…” Jul 17, 22:21
Ian on These Words Are My Own: “Q to AI – Sturgeons head bobs around when she seems under pressure or maybe lying. She also blinks a…” Jul 17, 22:20
Tommy B on These Words Are My Own: “If there is a requirement for a fundraiser for legal fees, you can rely on a donation from this direction.…” Jul 17, 22:20
Alf Baird on A Matter Of Declinature: ““A consequence that is inevitable would inarguably and unarguably leave all Scots suffering from a colonial mindset.” Yes, this must…” Jul 17, 22:09
George Ferguson on A Matter Of Declinature: “Your too late. The Institutions have been taken over. You had your chance. Today I went to a special occasion…” Jul 17, 22:08
robertkknight on A Matter Of Declinature: “13 minutes of my life I’ll not get back and I didn’t learn anything I didn’t already know, apart from…” Jul 17, 22:07
James on A Matter Of Declinature: “Dan/Northy; as we know they have an agenda and don’t like being put right. More to be pitied then scorned…” Jul 17, 21:56
Northcode on A Matter Of Declinature: ““…in one self-pitying, self-justifying post from Northy.” All I did was state a fact, backed that fact up by referencing…” Jul 17, 21:40
Hatey McHateface on A Matter Of Declinature: ““Other Scots might deny the colonisation of Scotland entirely; but this latter group could be suffering from a colonial mindset…” Jul 17, 21:10
sam on A Matter Of Declinature: “Yes, wee Johnny. That’s why the UK parliament site remarks that “Jacobites across Scotland were able to present themselves as…” Jul 17, 21:08
Glenn Boyd on A Matter Of Declinature: “David Davis makes allegations about Nicola Sturgeon in Westminster. Professor Tim Wilson site on You Tube. This report is well…” Jul 17, 21:00
Glenn Boyd on A Matter Of Declinature: “David Davis makes allegations about Nicola sturgeon in Westminster Professor Tim Wilson on You Tube Worth a view” Jul 17, 20:46
Glenn Boyd on A Matter Of Declinature: “David Davis makes allegations about nicola sturgeon in Westminster Professor Tim Wilson You Tube Well worth a view.” Jul 17, 20:43
Hatey McHateface on A Matter Of Declinature: ““I believe James used “Scotch” in his comment to make a point” I believe you don’t believe that at all.…” Jul 17, 20:34
Alf Baird on A Matter Of Declinature: ““Logic, eh? It’s a scunner” Some Scots might say the colonisation of Scotland is inarguable. Some Scots might say the…” Jul 17, 20:21
Northcode on A Matter Of Declinature: ““[The] Scotch don’t like Tories generally, Inglis.” This, taken from the Dictionary of the Older Scottish Tongue (up to 1700):…” Jul 17, 20:13
Aidan on A Matter Of Declinature: “Sorry Dan – are you really sticking up for “James” here?” Jul 17, 18:30
Hatey McHateface on A Matter Of Declinature: “Sure, sam. That’s why the Jacobite army marched on London, getting as far south as Derby before turning back. “Jacobites…” Jul 17, 18:27
Hatey McHateface on A Matter Of Declinature: “@Wee Wally Walrus W. Winky says: 17 July, 2026 at 4:05 pm “That right, aye, Prick?” Aye. That’s right. Scotch…” Jul 17, 18:19
Dan on A Matter Of Declinature: “TBH I don’t think many folk could blow the skin off a rice pudding… The phrase is usually: Couldn’t knock…” Jul 17, 18:05
Captain Caveman on A Matter Of Declinature: “Is that it, Fatso? 😀 My 5 year old granddaughter could do better (and could probably batter you too), if…” Jul 17, 18:04
James on A Matter Of Declinature: “Three unionist wankers together. Have fun, girls.” Jul 17, 17:50