(Because if the answer is yes then Labour’s entire Scottish election strategy – “Vote SNP get Tories!” – crumbles to dust, and if it’s no then Labour is saying that it’d be prepared to abandon not just Scotland but the whole UK to another five years of Conservative government purely out of spite against the SNP.)
Three of the party’s elected representatives have now been asked the question on air – James Kelly MSP by John Mackay of Scotland Tonight a week ago, branch office leader Jim Murphy by BBC Scotland’s Gary Robertson yesterday, and the shadow Scottish Secretary Margaret Curran last night (below), again by STV’s John Mackay.
As you can see, Scotland’s voters still await an answer. But on this page we’ll keep track of all the swerves, evasions and dodges until we get one, if we ever do.
Because we took a short break over the weekend, we sadly missed Labour’s solemn commemorations of the 1979 confidence vote, and as a result we don’t know whether anyone actually did don a black armband or lay a wreath to remember the miners that Labour didn’t support when they went on strike a few years later.
We’re going to compile all of these onto a single page soon, because as you can see, Scottish Labour just can’t seem to stop telling this lie.
Today’s expert saying “Does it, aye?” (and the latest in a long and distinguished line) is Peter Riddell from the Institute For Government, speaking on Radio 4’s “World At One” this afternoon (from 35m).
As readers will know, when professional broadcast journalists can’t or won’t do their jobs properly, we’re not above jumping in ourselves.
So when someone tweeted to tell us that Jim Murphy had just started a phone-in on London station LBC, it seemed an ideal opportunity to quickly ring up and try directly asking him the question that Scottish Labour really, really don’t want to answer.
An alert reader pointed us to this edition of Newsnight we’d missed earlier this month, featuring the renowned Conservative Party chairman and liar Grant Shapps MP.
The population of the UK, according to the 2011 census, is 63,128,000. Shapps just told us he only cares about 11,200 of them (or 0.018%), because apparently those are all the votes the Tories need to turn round to secure an absolute majority in May’s general election. We very much doubt that any of the 23 target constituences he mentions, across which the required 11,200 votes are spread, are in Scotland.
And that, readers, is what the Tories (and, for that matter, Labour) really think of “the democratic will of the British people”. You may want to keep it in mind when you vote.
Because almost nobody in Westminster, whether they’re politicians or the media, ever pays any attention to anything outside SW1A, Alex Salmond’s comment in London yesterday that the SNP would vote against any Tory government in the event of a hung Parliament – which to any Scottish person was news as surprising as a weather forecast for rain – has been greeted with seemingly-genuine shock and horror.
Reporter after reporter has treated the non-revelations (which have been official SNP policy for as long as we can remember, and were stated explicitly by Nicola Sturgeon in November) as a stunning bolt from the blue, and Tory politicians and the right-wing media alike have burst into frothing, spluttering rage, based on the fact that apparently none of them grasps how either the UK electoral system or basic arithmetic work.
We’ve had to illustrate this piece with a tweet from our old chum Duncan Hothersall, because at the time of writing the Scottish Labour account on Twitter has no mention of Labour’s “five point plan”, and nor does the branch office’s website.
And the reason for the absence of any more information is probably that the “plan” is another example of a Labour policy that looks like a tasty boiled egg until you crack its shell and discover that there’s nothing inside.
Respect to John MacKay of STV, who on last night’s Scotland Tonight asked Labour MSP James Kelly the question this site has called for about whether Labour would stand aside and let the Tories rule if the latter were the largest party after May’s election, but Labour had enough seats to win a confidence vote and form the government with backing from the SNP and/or other parties.
Kelly, unsurprisingly, flapped and blustered and totally evaded it. But then we doubt he has the authority to make the tea in Scottish Labour, let alone speak for the party on key policy issues. If the question isn’t put repeatedly by all of the media to more senior Labour figures until an answer is produced, we’ll be wanting to know why.
Here’s Ed Miliband, giving a speech this morning to literally at least 20 Labour MPs, Labour MSPs, journalists and possibly a stray member of the public who accidentally walked through the wrong door in Clydebank, a place where Labour leaders used to address gatherings of thousands.
Unusually, Miliband took a few questions from the hacks, all of whom promptly wasted the opportunity by lobbing completely pointless softballs about coalitions and deals, all of which (a) have been asked a hundred times already, (b) were rendered moot by Alex Salmond on the Marr show yesterday, and (c) were only ever going to be batted away non-committally.
So here’s an actually worthwhile one they can ask instead next time.
We have to give Jim Murphy credit – on this week’s Sunday Politics he started off with the subtle, misleading but technically-accurate version of Labour’s line about the “biggest party forming the government”, which involves making the true but irrelevant observation that in the past it’s usually been the case. (Mainly because UK elections almost always give the biggest party a comfortable majority.)
But it only took a couple of minutes of questioning for the Scottish branch manager to lose his cool and resort to the comprehensively debunked flat-out lie again.
Southernbystander on A Fishy Tale: “It just about to get to well over 100 degrees in June. Wild fires rage every year burning up our…” Jun 22, 09:35
Aidan on The End Of Law: “The existence of rape gangs in Scotland is based directly on the witness testimony of those who gave evidence to…” Jun 22, 09:23
sam on The End Of Law: “Another fecking mind reader.” Jun 22, 09:12
Hatey McHateface on The End Of Law: “FFS Confused. Just take yourself off to Mecca and sign up or exchange blood or whatever it takes to join.…” Jun 21, 23:53
Confused on The End Of Law: ““the female of the species is more deadly than the male … ” Something just hit me there – lara…” Jun 21, 22:55
Red on The End Of Law: “There are no “concerns” about the findings of the Rape Gangs Inquiry Report. There are only lies and obfuscation, which…” Jun 21, 22:40
sam on The End Of Law: “Aidan, Still trying to read my mind and put words in my mouth. There are concerns about the adequacy of…” Jun 21, 21:46
Lorncal on The End Of Law: “Do you think that men who have no dangly bits are women? Really? If you are so disturbed that you…” Jun 21, 21:27
Red on The End Of Law: “Yes, it’s mostly about ‘cheap’ labour. Of course it’s not ‘cheap’ for taxpayers, rape victims, or the Scottish people who…” Jun 21, 20:56
agentx on The End Of Law: “A 15-year-old boy rescued two men who had fallen from an inflatable toy boat off the Isle of Skye by…” Jun 21, 20:24
Mark Beggan on The End Of Law: “It’s get your jacket time Sam. Pick a window you’re leaving! You fucking idiot.” Jun 21, 20:08
Lorncal on The End Of Law: “Because women and girls stand in the way of ‘progress’ – that is, most of them – not all, God…” Jun 21, 19:53
Red on The End Of Law: “GM, yes there is only one reason to keep this secret from the Scottish people It’s believed one may have…” Jun 21, 19:07
James on The End Of Law: “With his one-eye? Sounds about right. You gie-ing him a haun?” Jun 21, 18:51
Hatey McHateface on The End Of Law: “Wally Walrus wakes? Nah. Another 5 letter word preserving the alliteration.” Jun 21, 18:37
Ex President Xiden on The End Of Law: “Exactly, HR departments are used to socially engineer our thinking. Nobody complains as they fear for their jobs.” Jun 21, 18:31
Aidan on The End Of Law: “Don’t believe the lying rape victims, says Sam.” Jun 21, 18:30
gm on The End Of Law: “The working cops did their jobs properly. I don’t know where the order to keep the operation secret came from.…” Jun 21, 18:27
gm on The End Of Law: “https://www.scotland.police.uk/access-to-information/freedom-of-information/disclosure-log/disclosure-log-2024/march/24-0363-operation-cerrar-child-exploitation-glasgow-2020/ It happened in Glasgow. Operation Cerrar. You can search it. Deeply worrying. What was worse was the response of…” Jun 21, 18:19
Captain Caveman on The End Of Law: ““Do you people own anything?” #spoiler alert Nope. “IT WUZ THE TORRREEES” etc. Hatey has hit the bullseye here.” Jun 21, 18:07
Red on The End Of Law: “There’s a special place in Hell for Rape Gang deniers, sam. Have you no shame?” Jun 21, 17:59
sam on The End Of Law: “Unsubstantiated garbage” Jun 21, 17:32
James on The End Of Law: “Excellent idea, Onlooker; let’s get on with it! Sadly there are bad actors from another country, and their compromised stooges…” Jun 21, 17:08
Hatey McHateface on The End Of Law: “House! I just needed green cheese to complete four corners.” Jun 21, 17:05
James on The End Of Law: “Can you read? Even one eyed?” Jun 21, 17:02
James on The End Of Law: “Unionist Prick.” Jun 21, 16:59
Hatey McHateface on The End Of Law: “Jay I do attach much weight to personal responsibility. Such as the responsibility of the SNP voters in Arbroath. They…” Jun 21, 16:57
Red on The End Of Law: “List of areas where Muslim Rape Gangs have been found operating in Scotland (so far): Aberdeen City Angus Argyll and…” Jun 21, 16:46
Hatey McHateface on The End Of Law: “Loving it, sam. We need to improve benefits and free health care so we can draw even more millions of…” Jun 21, 16:23
Hatey McHateface on The End Of Law: “You’re missing that a male minus dangly bits isn’t a female. Quite a big miss. Maybe excuse yourself from framing…” Jun 21, 16:18