One of the very few phrases universally recognised in Scotland but which will draw blank looks anywhere else in the UK is the dry, dark “Well, ye ken noo”. Until recently it had no equivalent that we can bring to mind in the rest of the English-speaking world, although arguably that gap has now been at least partly filled by the acronym “FAFO”.
(We try not to swear on the site, so let’s say it stands for “Fool Around, Find Out”.)
So now the smoke has cleared, the troops have departed the battlefield and the winner is enjoying the spoils, what did we find out on Thursday night, and what didn’t we?
Despite everything, we almost allowed ourselves just the very tiniest little micro-flicker of optimism when we read Tommy Sheppard’s latest in The National.
Because that much is certainly true, and it’s uncommonly candid to have anyone in the SNP admit it. So what’s the answer?
In so far as it’s worth talking about Scottish constitutional politics at all these days, it’s worth taking a moment to analyse the bloodless, anodyne nothingness spouted by the First Minister on The Sunday Show at the weekend.
That clip is less than three minutes long, but it’s so soul-crushingly boring and full of content-free drone and waffle that it’s almost impossible to sit all the way through it, so we’re going to translate and summarise it for you.
It’s worth remembering that they didn’t have to do this.
Labour had already announced their intention to abstain. There was no danger of the budget being defeated. So the SNP could have allocated however much money they wanted from their increased funding to the pursuit of independence.
And this afternoon in the chamber the SNP also voted against the only alternative.
Alba MSP Ash Regan laid down the above motion, which supports what as far as we knew was still the SNP’s official policy in the absence of another Section 30, in so far as they even know what their policy is.
Today that motion was voted down by 125 votes to 1.
When you’ve been watching Scotland playing football for 50 years of your life, you become accustomed to disappointment. You expect disappointment. Anything better than disappointment becomes a bonus.
The SNP released their general election manifesto today. We’re not going to link you to it, because we don’t want to be responsible for wasting your time. This is everything it has to say on the party’s (cough) strategy for achieving independence.
It deserves much, much less respect than we’re giving it. Tomorrow, ice lolly reviews.
We’re still trying not to pay attention to the election because it’s so tedious and awful and pointless, but this is worth putting on the record because it’s in The National and otherwise nobody’s going to read it.
Andy Ellis on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Dear me Geri, your unwelcome return to BTL commentary does – if nothing else – provide some comedy relief in…” Feb 28, 08:38
Andy Ellis on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Voting against the SNP presupposes that the available alternatives aren’t as bad or worse though surely? Like many I’ll never…” Feb 28, 08:13
Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Well here’s her chance to woman up and do her duty. It’s totally sickening what those young girls had to…” Feb 28, 08:10
Aidan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Yes Geri – I’m asking to be treated like royalty. That famously royal experience of an efficient passport system, the…” Feb 28, 07:57
Young Lochinvar on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I suspect nothing. She’s one of Tricky Nicky’s right side of the bed (way over ability) appointees. Goes to John…” Feb 28, 03:06
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Her handlers have their wee indiscretions. Torture a particular favourite & the Eppy class become orgasmic when victims cry out…” Feb 28, 01:10
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “A Brexshiteer crying about no freedom of movement is absolutely priceless. How very dare they not treat you like Royalty.” Feb 28, 00:47
Aidan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “The only thing that could put me in a good mood today after the long queues at Berlin Brandenburg airport…” Feb 28, 00:14
Iain More on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Zeig Heil yah English NAZI. I guess you also like being associated with a Yankee Epstein Class Child Rapist.” Feb 27, 23:44
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “increasing defence expenditure, and promoting the formation of an independent European defence identity without the USA.’ Well, well would you…” Feb 27, 23:32
Cynicus on The Tactics Of Suicide: “?Andy Ellis says:?27 February, 2026 at 5:01 pm ‘Doubtless many “politically homeless” Scottish independence supporters…….. will be wondering who to…” Feb 27, 22:06
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “On the plus side, Alf, the special needs child remains blissfully oblivious. So no harm done.” Feb 27, 21:37
Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I wonder how Jenny Gilrough! (fuck the fascist Gestapo spelling politzi) felt after listening to the victims of the Pakistani…” Feb 27, 21:37
Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I’ve just been busted by the Grammar Gestapo (again). If I’m not heard of again then light a candle.” Feb 27, 21:31
Benhope on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Mark Beggan at 7.55 pm. The pedant in me could not let it pass ; death throes not death throws…” Feb 27, 21:14
Alf Baird on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Ever the paternalistic colonizer dealing with its wayward child, the colonized.” Feb 27, 20:59
Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “@Sven ‘I love children but I couldn’t eat a whole one”” Feb 27, 20:51
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I feel a little sorry for the plumber bint. She’s throwing away a steady, high earning, useful, productive, respected, needed…” Feb 27, 20:20
GM on The Tactics Of Suicide: “As did Enoch Powell. I think Enoch actually spoke the language.” Feb 27, 20:16
Sven on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Mark Beggan @ 19.12. But, “When I became a man I put away childish things,” mostly, as every Dad knows,…” Feb 27, 20:13
Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “The old saying ‘When you sup with the devil use a long spoon’ comes to mind. The Greens will roll…” Feb 27, 19:55
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Crivens, Geri. If you went private during the time you were referred for treatment, sue them for every penny you…” Feb 27, 19:39
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I’ll throw the question open to you too, Northy. Any ideas for May? Anything that will set the heather alight…” Feb 27, 19:19
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Its you that’s delusional, as per usual. This news just in – No one likes the Unelected leaders at the…” Feb 27, 19:15
Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “‘When I was a child I thought like a child, I spoke like a I reasoned like a child……” Corinthians…” Feb 27, 19:12
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “The Green people who want to end mass air travel are greetin that people can’t afford holidays. The Green people…” Feb 27, 19:11
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Wow, Geri. From zero to posting pedo accusations within 24 hours. Promise us you’ll never change. Xxx” Feb 27, 18:59
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “It won’t be changing with London based stooges that’s for sure. The nawbags have far too much to lose. Say…” Feb 27, 17:43
Andy Ellis on The Tactics Of Suicide: “@Geri More delusional nonsense Geri: colour us unsurprised. Ordinary Scottish voters will still troop to the polls in May and…” Feb 27, 17:42
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “A new world order is coming. Englandshire is a pariah. It won’t make a seat at the next International organisation…” Feb 27, 17:13
