One of the very few phrases universally recognised in Scotland but which will draw blank looks anywhere else in the UK is the dry, dark “Well, ye ken noo”. Until recently it had no equivalent that we can bring to mind in the rest of the English-speaking world, although arguably that gap has now been at least partly filled by the acronym “FAFO”.
(We try not to swear on the site, so let’s say it stands for “Fool Around, Find Out”.)
So now the smoke has cleared, the troops have departed the battlefield and the winner is enjoying the spoils, what did we find out on Thursday night, and what didn’t we?
Despite everything, we almost allowed ourselves just the very tiniest little micro-flicker of optimism when we read Tommy Sheppard’s latest in The National.
Because that much is certainly true, and it’s uncommonly candid to have anyone in the SNP admit it. So what’s the answer?
In so far as it’s worth talking about Scottish constitutional politics at all these days, it’s worth taking a moment to analyse the bloodless, anodyne nothingness spouted by the First Minister on The Sunday Show at the weekend.
That clip is less than three minutes long, but it’s so soul-crushingly boring and full of content-free drone and waffle that it’s almost impossible to sit all the way through it, so we’re going to translate and summarise it for you.
It’s worth remembering that they didn’t have to do this.
Labour had already announced their intention to abstain. There was no danger of the budget being defeated. So the SNP could have allocated however much money they wanted from their increased funding to the pursuit of independence.
And this afternoon in the chamber the SNP also voted against the only alternative.
Alba MSP Ash Regan laid down the above motion, which supports what as far as we knew was still the SNP’s official policy in the absence of another Section 30, in so far as they even know what their policy is.
Today that motion was voted down by 125 votes to 1.
When you’ve been watching Scotland playing football for 50 years of your life, you become accustomed to disappointment. You expect disappointment. Anything better than disappointment becomes a bonus.
The SNP released their general election manifesto today. We’re not going to link you to it, because we don’t want to be responsible for wasting your time. This is everything it has to say on the party’s (cough) strategy for achieving independence.
It deserves much, much less respect than we’re giving it. Tomorrow, ice lolly reviews.
We’re still trying not to pay attention to the election because it’s so tedious and awful and pointless, but this is worth putting on the record because it’s in The National and otherwise nobody’s going to read it.
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Aidan No need to start by apologising Aidan. Thick am I? Well and well, just watched ITN. They must be…” Mar 20, 19:43
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “Gawd. You’re right. We wouldn’t be that lucky. The failed politician will be wheeled out every now & again to…” Mar 20, 19:28
ABruce on Irony you can’t buy: “This thrawn wee besom really really shouldn’t have fooled us. I mean, who could possibly have any doubts about someone…” Mar 20, 19:28
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “Sorry YL, I appreciate you aren’t that smart and to you this is all a bit of a mystery or…” Mar 20, 19:23
Young Lochinvar on Irony you can’t buy: “Where’s Hatey? Even Beggars has gone quiet.. Sorry my bad, celebrating Eid el fatr no doubt 🙂” Mar 20, 19:20
Iain More on Irony you can’t buy: “She churns my stomach like all Quislings do. The damage she has done to Scotland should bring charges of Treason…” Mar 20, 19:18
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “I always liked Joanna. She’d have been a good FM. If she’d challenged Sturgeons leadership she’d have won it hands…” Mar 20, 19:15
Scot Finlayson on Irony you can’t buy: “`All political lives, unless they are cut off in midstream at a happy juncture, end in failure, because that is…” Mar 20, 18:52
TimePilot on Irony you can’t buy: “Oh, to see ourselves as others see us Nicola. If only Mr Salmond was still alive to recite this in…” Mar 20, 18:49
Young Lochinvar on Irony you can’t buy: “To add to the litany of comments already made I would add Branchform, sneaky Pete dropped like a hot potato…” Mar 20, 18:37
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Aidan Largest “ferry” port. Doesn’t the use of “ferries” in and out of a quarantined area strike you as rather…” Mar 20, 18:11
ScottieDog on Irony you can’t buy: “And a tidy pension. Wondering if she’ll become baroness sturgeon one day, sitting next to lord Blackford of humblecroft and…” Mar 20, 17:59
christine on Irony you can’t buy: “Failed lawyer Sturgeon peddled and condoned the genital mutilation of our children. She sanctioned the abuse, torment, degradation and trauma…” Mar 20, 17:49
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: “Ex-SNP MP Joanna Cherry: “It is easy to make a promise. Much harder to keep it. Sturgeon governed by press…” Mar 20, 17:01
Onlooker on Irony you can’t buy: “Is there any way to sue her to get the money back she claimed as an MSP, whilst not turning…” Mar 20, 16:54
Jon Drummond on Irony you can’t buy: “Well put. I agree 100% and more.” Mar 20, 16:18
Lorncal on Irony you can’t buy: “As a woman myself, I cannot get around the fact that both Thatcher and Sturgeon respectively and individually destroyed the…” Mar 20, 16:16
Jon Drummond on Irony you can’t buy: “The nastiest, most self-centred, little b1tch in Scottish history. A fucking disgrace to the whole nation. Burning in Hell would…” Mar 20, 16:15
Willie on Irony you can’t buy: “Her time I am sure will come. Her dark deeds will come back to haunt her. In the meantime she…” Mar 20, 16:15
Sven on Irony you can’t buy: “Geri @ 13.00. If only she were going to disappear back into obscurity, Geri. I’ve no doubt she and what…” Mar 20, 15:30
Sven on Irony you can’t buy: ““Ye who suffer woes untold, Or to feel, or to behold Your lost country bought and sold With a price…” Mar 20, 15:13
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “Yup! I feel exactly the same. I reach for the remote. I don’t want to even listen to her. Hopefully…” Mar 20, 14:43
Ronnie on Irony you can’t buy: “Don’t know about the rest of yies, but I cannot even watch her now. I thought I would never hate…” Mar 20, 14:25
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “David you say, What’s her legacy? Alex Salmond down fall and his untimely death I feel sure. She tried and…” Mar 20, 14:23
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “I feel sure we’ll see her on election night pointing out how good John the moron has been. Hasn’t reform…” Mar 20, 14:15
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “Please correct me if I’m wrong but did she say it was a honor to a MSP for all these…” Mar 20, 14:06
David on Irony you can’t buy: “What’s her legacy? I was ever only in the SNP to gain independence. She was deputy during the referendum. How…” Mar 20, 14:02
Alex stewart on Irony you can’t buy: “Never mind, Swinney is doing his best to be her identical replacement” Mar 20, 14:01
James on Looking up at the stars: “Aye, nothing to do with the oil eh? Mind living in a cave probably makes you a bit thick. Back…” Mar 20, 13:53
