The votes for “God Save The Queen” being driven by Tories, English-born residents and supporters of a particular football club probably won’t come as the biggest shock in the world to anyone.
(Alert viewers will of course have noticed that due to MI5 INTERFERENCE in the poll, there were actually two votes for Hoots Mon, which have been suspiciously rounded down to one. We are conducting an investigation, by which we mean brutal purge.)
Scottish Conservative leader Ruth Davidson managed to make a bit of a balloon of herself earlier this month when she contrived to get THREE fairly key facts wrong in a single tweet about a poll on a second independence referendum.
(We’re not sure who the guy in the picture with her is. Probably a colleague.)
We suspected the reason she’d so badly misunderstood the data was that there were two options for “have another indyref in the next two years” and only one for “don’t have another indyref”, so when we were putting our latest poll together we thought we’d try to make it easier for her by having an equal number on both sides.
There were no surprises in our latest Panelbase poll with regard to the independence question, at least not in terms of the headline figures – in line with a flurry of recent polls they came out at Yes 46% No 54%, with 2016’s Brexit vote seemingly having caused almost equal numbers of people to change sides since 2014.
But as readers will know, we usually like to probe a little bit deeper into the thoughts of our respondents than other media do, so we asked a few more questions on the subject. And the results of that were just plain weird.
You very rarely get useful stats about online newspaper readership, so we were quite intrigued by this snippet on tonight’s BBC2 Scotland documentary “Paper Thistle”, about the 200th anniversary of The Scotsman.
We don’t know what the numbers are or how brief the period was, but Wings’ average traffic is higher now than it was in 2014, while we suspect The Scotsman is moving in the opposite direction. For a single-issue website to be anywhere even in the same ballpark as a two-centuries-old broadsheet news brand with scores of full-time writers and production staff and a daily newsstand presence is a remarkable thing indeed.
We might start doing classifieds and sport just to see what happens.
Fear and lies work. Over many decades (and really for centuries) the Unionist parties and the media have succeeded in persuading a large percentage of Scots that they’re beggars, scroungers, vagrants and “subsidy junkies” dependent on the ever-generous charity of England to keep them from starvation.
And in terms of the facts, that hasn’t always been an easy sell.
We rarely do stat posts now, because readership has settled to a pretty steady level (generally bobbing between around 250,000 and 300,000 users a month) and we’ve run out of ways to blow our own trumpet. But we’re making an exception this month.
The snide, arrogant, pompous and casually factually-inaccurate comment above was made by a founder/editor of a rather less popular Scottish political website. And in the (statistically unlikely) event that you happened to read it and became concerned, we thought you’d like a little more information about our “ever-decreasing readership”.
We’ll be honest, readers, we’re actually quite happy that the Tories are now the lead Unionist party in Scotland. Because after four and a half years, we’ve pretty much run out of things to say about the epic, unquenchable stupidity of Scottish Labour.
Of course, that Lamont should choose to blame the SNP for cuts coming down the line from the Tory government at Westminster (that only controls Scotland’s budget at all because Lamont and her colleagues campaigned for Scotland to remain in the UK) is no surprise.
But it’s the sheer jaw-dropping lack of self-awareness in that last line which lays bare the incredible inability of her pseudo-party to learn a single lesson from the revolution in Scottish politics that’s been going on for most of the last decade.
Over the past few days, readers, we haven’t been able to avoid noticing a recurring theme among Unionist types on social media – namely that the Holyrood election results are proof that support for independence is declining.
But it’s not until you ask them to explain that it gets completely mental.
A few weeks ago we rather cruelly highlighted an old post from Kezia Dugdale’s blog in which she bitterly bemoaned the practice of candidates who’d been rejected by voters in constituency seats still being able to get into Parliament via the “back door” of the regional lists.
Aidan on The Modern Politician: “Dan’s back and he’s fucking complaining, to nobodies surprise. Of course Lorna is right, coal mining was both dangerous and…” Feb 15, 07:55
Sven on The Modern Politician: “Willie @ 05.07. Gosh Willie, if it left Turkey around the 19th January and is now scheduled to arrive Corunna…” Feb 15, 07:12
Willie on The Modern Politician: “Seems that the new MV Isle of Islay may have been sustaining problems. The ferry built in Turkey was originally…” Feb 15, 05:07
DaveL on The Modern Politician: “‘Captain Swinney is believed to have gone down with his ship.’ If only but I’m afraid he fucked off quick…” Feb 15, 03:14
Colin Alexander on The Modern Politician: “The SNP and Scottish Greens will be delighted that Ebay are procuring donations for the Mermaids charity. Are Mermaids brainwashing,…” Feb 14, 23:42
Dan on The Modern Politician: “Big Country – Steeltown Vid contains footage of dirty men doing hard dirty work so not safe for some. www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ssx1Davnkw” Feb 14, 22:50
Dan on The Modern Politician: ““No, I don’t think coal mining was ever anything but dire Says it all. Perma “worried” woman rather than celebrate…” Feb 14, 22:38
Geoff Anderson on The Modern Politician: “I didn’t know he was a Spurs fan……. https://x.com/ScotExpress/status/2022733679576113365?s=20” Feb 14, 22:08
Lorna Campbell on The Modern Politician: “William Campbell: yes, I absolutely agree with you, but it was not the norm until Thatcher introduced council house ownership.…” Feb 14, 21:49
Young Lochinvar on The Modern Politician: “Well I’d like to imagine this anniversary may just, just mibbes, mighta have helped put some fire in the belly…” Feb 14, 21:46
Lorna Campbell on The Modern Politician: “Often you simply cannot turn back the clock. No, I don’t think coal mining was ever anything but dire, but…” Feb 14, 21:20
Alf Baird on The Modern Politician: “Plenty of wee coasters and fishing boats even smaller than the new £50 million Isle of Islay sailing oot there…” Feb 14, 21:09
David Holden on The Modern Politician: “There is a lot to unpack in your latest offering but just a wee tip for you. Try shutting the…” Feb 14, 19:46
Hatey McHateface on The Modern Politician: “Quite right, Confused. You forever see the English as arse bandits and look where that’s got you.” Feb 14, 19:38
Confused on The Modern Politician: “flower of scotland is also RACIST and this is “zero tolerance” in a modern nation – what r u thinking…” Feb 14, 19:35
Confused on The Modern Politician: “rugby : after the postal tries have been counted by roof davison the too wee too puir inferior not quite…” Feb 14, 19:18
Cynicus on The Modern Politician: “14 February, 2026 at 6:33 pm David Holden says: “Which miserable killjoy is going to be first to come on…” Feb 14, 19:11
TURABDIN on The Modern Politician: “We regret to announce the sinking of the MV Isle of Islay in stormy seas off the straits of Gibraltar.…” Feb 14, 18:34
David Holden on The Modern Politician: “Which miserable killjoy is going to be first to come on and moan about the rugby? Congratulations to the Scotland…” Feb 14, 18:33
auld highlander on The Modern Politician: “Storms out in the Atlandic caused the delay with Portugal and Spain getting hammered. Earlier this afternoon I had a…” Feb 14, 18:02
william campbell on The Modern Politician: “Born in 1948,brought up mainly in East Kilbride,which was fresh and new then in 1957,my catching TB was the reason…” Feb 14, 17:48
Aidan on The Modern Politician: “C-24 will not be assessing Scotland’s petition in June. C-24 has no power to add further territories to the list…” Feb 14, 17:35
Willie on The Modern Politician: “I think agent X that you may have stumbled on an issue with regard to the MV Isle of Islay.…” Feb 14, 17:26
Andy Ellis on The Modern Politician: “@ Hatey Having just come back from visiting the Stone of Destiny in Perth and taking in Marie R’s last…” Feb 14, 16:44
Hatey McHateface on The Modern Politician: “Good post, Andy. The shades of the signatories to the D of A will also be furious that we lack…” Feb 14, 16:30
Hatey McHateface on The Modern Politician: “Thanks for your reply, Lorna. Just about every politician gets something right. Starmer, Trump, Sturgeon, Brown, Blair. They won some…” Feb 14, 16:22
Hatey McHateface on The Modern Politician: “Cynicus Please show some respect when addressing a lady carrying the name of the Holy Mother Of God.” Feb 14, 16:02