The votes for “God Save The Queen” being driven by Tories, English-born residents and supporters of a particular football club probably won’t come as the biggest shock in the world to anyone.
(Alert viewers will of course have noticed that due to MI5 INTERFERENCE in the poll, there were actually two votes for Hoots Mon, which have been suspiciously rounded down to one. We are conducting an investigation, by which we mean brutal purge.)
Scottish Conservative leader Ruth Davidson managed to make a bit of a balloon of herself earlier this month when she contrived to get THREE fairly key facts wrong in a single tweet about a poll on a second independence referendum.
(We’re not sure who the guy in the picture with her is. Probably a colleague.)
We suspected the reason she’d so badly misunderstood the data was that there were two options for “have another indyref in the next two years” and only one for “don’t have another indyref”, so when we were putting our latest poll together we thought we’d try to make it easier for her by having an equal number on both sides.
There were no surprises in our latest Panelbase poll with regard to the independence question, at least not in terms of the headline figures – in line with a flurry of recent polls they came out at Yes 46% No 54%, with 2016’s Brexit vote seemingly having caused almost equal numbers of people to change sides since 2014.
But as readers will know, we usually like to probe a little bit deeper into the thoughts of our respondents than other media do, so we asked a few more questions on the subject. And the results of that were just plain weird.
You very rarely get useful stats about online newspaper readership, so we were quite intrigued by this snippet on tonight’s BBC2 Scotland documentary “Paper Thistle”, about the 200th anniversary of The Scotsman.
We don’t know what the numbers are or how brief the period was, but Wings’ average traffic is higher now than it was in 2014, while we suspect The Scotsman is moving in the opposite direction. For a single-issue website to be anywhere even in the same ballpark as a two-centuries-old broadsheet news brand with scores of full-time writers and production staff and a daily newsstand presence is a remarkable thing indeed.
We might start doing classifieds and sport just to see what happens.
Fear and lies work. Over many decades (and really for centuries) the Unionist parties and the media have succeeded in persuading a large percentage of Scots that they’re beggars, scroungers, vagrants and “subsidy junkies” dependent on the ever-generous charity of England to keep them from starvation.
And in terms of the facts, that hasn’t always been an easy sell.
We rarely do stat posts now, because readership has settled to a pretty steady level (generally bobbing between around 250,000 and 300,000 users a month) and we’ve run out of ways to blow our own trumpet. But we’re making an exception this month.
The snide, arrogant, pompous and casually factually-inaccurate comment above was made by a founder/editor of a rather less popular Scottish political website. And in the (statistically unlikely) event that you happened to read it and became concerned, we thought you’d like a little more information about our “ever-decreasing readership”.
We’ll be honest, readers, we’re actually quite happy that the Tories are now the lead Unionist party in Scotland. Because after four and a half years, we’ve pretty much run out of things to say about the epic, unquenchable stupidity of Scottish Labour.
Of course, that Lamont should choose to blame the SNP for cuts coming down the line from the Tory government at Westminster (that only controls Scotland’s budget at all because Lamont and her colleagues campaigned for Scotland to remain in the UK) is no surprise.
But it’s the sheer jaw-dropping lack of self-awareness in that last line which lays bare the incredible inability of her pseudo-party to learn a single lesson from the revolution in Scottish politics that’s been going on for most of the last decade.
Over the past few days, readers, we haven’t been able to avoid noticing a recurring theme among Unionist types on social media – namely that the Holyrood election results are proof that support for independence is declining.
But it’s not until you ask them to explain that it gets completely mental.
A few weeks ago we rather cruelly highlighted an old post from Kezia Dugdale’s blog in which she bitterly bemoaned the practice of candidates who’d been rejected by voters in constituency seats still being able to get into Parliament via the “back door” of the regional lists.
joolz on Spoiler Alert: ““The tribunal’s logic would justify installing smoke alarms only after the fire has started.” Spot on! I’ve been telling TRAs…” Dec 10, 22:38
holymacmoses on Spoiler Alert: ““One of the most troubling passages asserts there is insufficient evidence that a male person poses greater risk than a…” Dec 10, 22:18
100%Yes on Spoiler Alert: “Geoff Anderson, I apologize I got you confused with someone else.” Dec 10, 21:04
100%Yes on Spoiler Alert: “Its funny you’ve got a voice today, well done. Because on the constitutional question the SNP has you pissing your…” Dec 10, 20:48
Jay on Spoiler Alert: “Frearghas, thank you for making me think further than before. Returning to practical circumstances, if there were a channel of…” Dec 10, 20:12
Geoff Anderson on Spoiler Alert: “Times Sandie Peggie case Stu given credit Archived https://archive.is/SK4Cv” Dec 10, 19:56
Craig on Spoiler Alert: “https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c75v1d6npr1o Not in the habit of posting a BBC website link but Baroness Falkner is saying exactly what Rev said…” Dec 10, 19:42
Aidan on Spoiler Alert: “Quite 100% Yes, it might be different if Liberate were a genuine challenger to the SNP, but 6 months out…” Dec 10, 19:14
Lorncal on Spoiler Alert: “I really think it goes way beyond that now, Marie. Some are openly hostile to women’s rights and biased towards…” Dec 10, 18:45
agentx on Spoiler Alert: “On BBC Reporting Scotland tonight – Robin Moira White (“I was the first barrister to transition from male to female…” Dec 10, 18:44
Lorncal on Spoiler Alert: “Lord Hodge, soon to retire, is a Scottish judge in the Supreme Court, James, and the For Women Scotland case…” Dec 10, 18:42
100%Yes on Spoiler Alert: “So explain to us all how voting for liberate Scotland and the SNP remaining in power benefit Scotland and how…” Dec 10, 18:29
Lorncal on Spoiler Alert: “Bilbo, interference by the state in the legal system is totally against all democratic principles. Separation of state and judiciary…” Dec 10, 18:28
Alf Baird on Spoiler Alert: “In colonial societies the co-opted dominant national party: “helps the government to hold the people down. It becomes more and…” Dec 10, 18:25
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Spoiler Alert: “WHAT’S GOING ON? “At great turning-points of world-history the relativity of our traditional measures and opinions manifests itself in a…” Dec 10, 18:24
Hatey McHateface on Spoiler Alert: “Naw, you’ve got that wrong. It was an episode of “Rumpole Of The Bailey” wot dun it.” Dec 10, 18:16
Lorncal on Spoiler Alert: “James, I would dearly love to to see an independent Scotland but just look across the water to Ireland to…” Dec 10, 18:16
Hatey McHateface on Spoiler Alert: “Good one, TH, but a smidge verbose. I asked Grok to summarise: “Vote SNP one and two for another 5…” Dec 10, 18:13
Geoff Anderson on Spoiler Alert: “Dr. Upton. The credible witness https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cpqnq3gpe0vo” Dec 10, 18:05
100%Yes on Spoiler Alert: “Liberate Scotland, was a great idea if all Indy party’s got involved but they ain’t. Liberate Scotland constant call for…” Dec 10, 18:02
Hatey McHateface on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Poor old Bilbo. Congenitally unable to comprehend that working class and Tory voting have never been and never will be…” Dec 10, 18:01
Colin Dawson on Spoiler Alert: “Let’s not forget that Fife Health Board (and countless other public and private bodies) were following allegedly unlawful instructions issued…” Dec 10, 17:26
Marie on Spoiler Alert: “If judges can ignore the law why can’t Joe Public?” Dec 10, 17:23
Marie on Spoiler Alert: “Yep. The rule of law – who cares for that?? Not Scotland’s judges.” Dec 10, 17:20
Ex President Xiden on Spoiler Alert: “We are ruled by an elite class of jackasses.” Dec 10, 17:15
Aidan on Spoiler Alert: “Whilst they can harness 30/35% of the vote they’ll have enough income from short money, from a cut of their…” Dec 10, 17:10
twathater on The Valley Of The Dolls: “TBQH Karen and Lynn I think that ANY female that votes for the Scum Nonce Party OR the Green perverts…” Dec 10, 17:09
Bilbo on Spoiler Alert: “I know I’m contradicting myself with my original comment because this has all been caused by bad legislation passed by…” Dec 10, 16:48
robertkknight on Spoiler Alert: “Scotland…the logic-free banana republic brought to you courtesy of the invertebrate Swinney and his loathsome bottom feeders in the SNP.…” Dec 10, 16:47
Captain Caveman on The Valley Of The Dolls: ““… Didn’t your Nigel cite TV programmes from the seventies towards allegations that he made racist comments as a teenager…” Dec 10, 16:47