The votes for “God Save The Queen” being driven by Tories, English-born residents and supporters of a particular football club probably won’t come as the biggest shock in the world to anyone.
(Alert viewers will of course have noticed that due to MI5 INTERFERENCE in the poll, there were actually two votes for Hoots Mon, which have been suspiciously rounded down to one. We are conducting an investigation, by which we mean brutal purge.)
Scottish Conservative leader Ruth Davidson managed to make a bit of a balloon of herself earlier this month when she contrived to get THREE fairly key facts wrong in a single tweet about a poll on a second independence referendum.
(We’re not sure who the guy in the picture with her is. Probably a colleague.)
We suspected the reason she’d so badly misunderstood the data was that there were two options for “have another indyref in the next two years” and only one for “don’t have another indyref”, so when we were putting our latest poll together we thought we’d try to make it easier for her by having an equal number on both sides.
There were no surprises in our latest Panelbase poll with regard to the independence question, at least not in terms of the headline figures – in line with a flurry of recent polls they came out at Yes 46% No 54%, with 2016’s Brexit vote seemingly having caused almost equal numbers of people to change sides since 2014.
But as readers will know, we usually like to probe a little bit deeper into the thoughts of our respondents than other media do, so we asked a few more questions on the subject. And the results of that were just plain weird.
You very rarely get useful stats about online newspaper readership, so we were quite intrigued by this snippet on tonight’s BBC2 Scotland documentary “Paper Thistle”, about the 200th anniversary of The Scotsman.
We don’t know what the numbers are or how brief the period was, but Wings’ average traffic is higher now than it was in 2014, while we suspect The Scotsman is moving in the opposite direction. For a single-issue website to be anywhere even in the same ballpark as a two-centuries-old broadsheet news brand with scores of full-time writers and production staff and a daily newsstand presence is a remarkable thing indeed.
We might start doing classifieds and sport just to see what happens.
Fear and lies work. Over many decades (and really for centuries) the Unionist parties and the media have succeeded in persuading a large percentage of Scots that they’re beggars, scroungers, vagrants and “subsidy junkies” dependent on the ever-generous charity of England to keep them from starvation.
And in terms of the facts, that hasn’t always been an easy sell.
We rarely do stat posts now, because readership has settled to a pretty steady level (generally bobbing between around 250,000 and 300,000 users a month) and we’ve run out of ways to blow our own trumpet. But we’re making an exception this month.
The snide, arrogant, pompous and casually factually-inaccurate comment above was made by a founder/editor of a rather less popular Scottish political website. And in the (statistically unlikely) event that you happened to read it and became concerned, we thought you’d like a little more information about our “ever-decreasing readership”.
We’ll be honest, readers, we’re actually quite happy that the Tories are now the lead Unionist party in Scotland. Because after four and a half years, we’ve pretty much run out of things to say about the epic, unquenchable stupidity of Scottish Labour.
Of course, that Lamont should choose to blame the SNP for cuts coming down the line from the Tory government at Westminster (that only controls Scotland’s budget at all because Lamont and her colleagues campaigned for Scotland to remain in the UK) is no surprise.
But it’s the sheer jaw-dropping lack of self-awareness in that last line which lays bare the incredible inability of her pseudo-party to learn a single lesson from the revolution in Scottish politics that’s been going on for most of the last decade.
Over the past few days, readers, we haven’t been able to avoid noticing a recurring theme among Unionist types on social media – namely that the Holyrood election results are proof that support for independence is declining.
But it’s not until you ask them to explain that it gets completely mental.
A few weeks ago we rather cruelly highlighted an old post from Kezia Dugdale’s blog in which she bitterly bemoaned the practice of candidates who’d been rejected by voters in constituency seats still being able to get into Parliament via the “back door” of the regional lists.
Onlooker on Yelling at the tide: “Any updates on the Alex Salmond case? I hope it’s still going ahead. Be quite willing to kick money into…” Jan 22, 03:08
Saffron Robe on Yelling at the tide: “Well done, Stuart. Keep at them. No one is above the law and that includes the judiciary.” Jan 22, 01:06
AdamH on Yelling at the tide: “What would happen to an FOI request for the “correspondence with judicial colleague”?” Jan 22, 00:52
Jason Smoothpiece on Yelling at the tide: “Harrumph Know your place man.” Jan 21, 22:37
Marie on Yelling at the tide: “I have as much confidence in the Scottish judiciary as I have in Scotland’s politicians – zero.” Jan 21, 22:19
sarah on Yelling at the tide: “@ Dave G: “Judge Susan Walker – a member of the Diversity Taskforce…set up by the Senior President of Tribunals.”…” Jan 21, 22:08
Scot Finlayson on Yelling at the tide: “If there was a choice,and the way the world is unravelling, who knows, would you rather be governed by Westminster…” Jan 21, 21:45
Hatey McHateface on The Secondhand Amendment: “I hate when everybody ignores your posts, Northy. Something about the pathos of it all makes me well up. You…” Jan 21, 20:41
Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Really, Northy, buy a copy of Alf’s book? First, define the difference between sucking sycophancy and non-sucking sycophancy. Those of…” Jan 21, 20:30
Hatey McHateface on The Secondhand Amendment: “You’ve got the gas chambers and the incinerators, Confused. Let’s hope that’s enough to get Barbie back. This place just…” Jan 21, 19:52
Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “@Alf Baird The “coloniser’s historic, economic and cultural needs” would have been best served by Alex Salmond being banged up.…” Jan 21, 19:43
Willie on Yelling at the tide: “Good stuff again Rev. Your letter to the Tribunal President brings into sharp focus the very grave issues of concern…” Jan 21, 19:38
Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Sorry, Northy, you’ve already self-id-ed as a shit today. Self-id as a clown in a few days when the alert…” Jan 21, 19:34
Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Cracker of a post, Twat H. No random caps anywhere. You must have been a good boy. Looks like Santa…” Jan 21, 19:26
twathater on Yelling at the tide: “I have no doubt Professor Baird that irrespective of what you post Hatey McFuckwit would have to comment on it…” Jan 21, 17:22
sarah on The Secondhand Amendment: “Andy Wiltshire: “Does the entire Scottish judicial system have membership of the same Edinburgh club?” Is this the New Club…” Jan 21, 17:14
Colin Alexander on Yelling at the tide: “Remember: In Scotland, Public body / professional body complaint processes are designed to fob you off and frustrate any attempts…” Jan 21, 17:12
Cynicus on Yelling at the tide: “Ian Smith says: “Bear in mind that AI can be prompted to agree with the type of query it is…” Jan 21, 16:57
Northcode on Yelling at the tide: ““What an utter clown you are “Northcode” And who was it who forced me to run away from home in…” Jan 21, 16:56
Lorna Campbell on Yelling at the tide: “No legislation in existence, in Scotland or the UK, gives any man the right to enter female spaces, even where…” Jan 21, 16:31
Northcode on Yelling at the tide: “And you, Father, are a total embarrassment… period. Not least because of your over-reliance on the exclamation mark and the…” Jan 21, 16:00
Northcode on Yelling at the tide: ““Give up son…” No, Father… I will never give up, I will never surrender. And know this, oh giver of…” Jan 21, 15:52
Insider on Yelling at the tide: “Christ ! What an utter clown you are “Northcode” Give up son ! You’re a total embarrassment to the Indy…” Jan 21, 15:15
Northcode on Yelling at the tide: “Here’s anither yin taken fae the online “Dictionars o the Scots Leid”: SIN, adv., prep., conj. Also syn, sen, san(e),…” Jan 21, 14:58
Alf Baird on Yelling at the tide: ““the Scottish Legal System operates in a context free vacuum” The basic principle of any colonial justice system is that…” Jan 21, 14:51
lothianlad on Yelling at the tide: “stick with it warrior Stu! Thank you for all you do for truth and justice” Jan 21, 14:49