Our alert readers will probably be aware of the psychological phenomenon commonly known as the five stages of grief. If not, there’s a rather good piece by Andrew Nicoll in today’s Scottish Sun about it in the context of Scottish Labour.
But while perceptive, Nicoll is a little behind the times, because it appears that the party’s branch office manager Jim Murphy has invented a sixth.
Welcome, viewers, to the new final stage of grief: delusion.
Impressive as it is in a party with Jackie Baillie in it, Kezia Dugdale has carved out quite a reputation in Scottish Labour as a specialist in making categorical statements of facts which turn out not to be true. So we were naturally sceptical when she claimed on today’s Sunday Politics Scotland that Stewart Hosie of the SNP hadn’t said whether a commitment to a second independence referendum would be in tomorrow’s SNP manifesto.
We thought that he had, and so did presenter Gordon Brewer, but Dugdale was most adamant – “I listened VERY carefully, very carefully indeed” – that he’d “dodged and dived” on the matter, and spent more than a minute of her interview saying so.
So we went back and checked, because that’s what we do.
Countless thousands of words – indeed, even an entire book – have been written by commentators and pundits right across the political spectrum about the long demise of the Labour Party in Scotland.
It remains to be seen whether the coming election will deliver the coup de grace that pollsters are predicting. Meanwhile, though, readers searching for an explanation but short on free time could do a lot worse than sit through this interview with the Scottish branch office deputy manager, Kezia Dugdale, from today’s Sunday Politics Scotland.
The Sunday Times front page today reports (although in fact we can’t find the story anywhere on its website or in its iPad app) the 8,745th “intervention” by Gordon Brown in Scottish politics, the thing which is at least notionally still his actual day job.
We’re going to need someone to explain to us why even the punch-drunk inhabitants of Scottish Labour HQ could possibly imagine that to be a good idea.
In the wake of the latest Ashcroft polls, the only line being deployed by Scottish Labour is that the projected outcome of an SNP landslide would be great news for the Conservatives and lead to David Cameron returning in triumph to Downing Street. One would presume, then, that the Tory press is delighted by the prospect.
So let’s check out some stories from today’s Daily Mail and Scottish Daily Mail.
We know we’ve made this point several times before. But can someone explain to us again how there’s no significant difference between the (broad, collective) political outlook of the respective peoples of Scotland and England? Because if there isn’t, doing this kind of thing just doesn’t make any sense at all.
“Scottish Labour” apparently launched its election “manifesto” somewhere in Scotland today. The “leader” of the fringe “party”, Jon Murnaghan or something, seemingly got a bit confused and made a number of pledges regarding devolved issues over which the Westminster government to be elected next month will have no control whatsoever, and would properly belong in a manifesto for the 2016 Scottish Parliament election.
Mr Morley or whatever his name is, who – assuming he wins his own seat – will be an insignificant backbench MP in the event of Ed Miliband’s Labour party winning the election, also said a bunch of other stuff about the SNP being “bad” because they refused to tell him what would be in their 2016 manifesto, further supporting the idea that the agitated branch official had lost track of what year it was.
Those are the words of David Cameron as he launched the Scottish Tories’ manifesto in front of a heavily-vetted invited audience in Glasgow yesterday. They make the pages of a couple of other papers, including the Guardian (which hides them even further down the page than the Sun does), but it’s only the Herald that picks up on their significance, leading its article with the unequivocal lines:
Last night’s juxtaposition of somewhat contradictory front covers on the Herald and Scottish Daily Mail was modestly amusing, but nothing new. We pointed out weeks ago that papers on both the left and the right were – often on the same days – painting the SNP as hand-in-glove allies of either Labour or the Tories according to whatever suited their own agendas, and nothing’s changed in that respect.
But it’s interesting to take a look behind the headlines of the respective stories and see the degree to which the truth can be bent, exaggerated or in some cases simply made up from thin air.
But the most remarkable thing happened at the end.
That, readers, is quite the admission. That’s a party which has utterly dominated UK politics in Scotland for six decades openly acknowledging that its entire campaign in the last three weeks will be based on railing against a complete fantasy.
Mark Beggan on Seven Days Too Long: “When you are right and everyone else is wrong usually means a mental breakdown. How’s the sex change going?” May 3, 19:19
Iain More on Seven Days Too Long: “It is a waste of time asking for a Section 30. Scotland isn’t going to get one whatever. The Yoons…” May 3, 19:05
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “I have always liked the unionist on here as they are so helpful in making my post entertaining when they…” May 3, 18:57
Mark Beggan on Seven Days Too Long: “Raising a glass of fine malt single whiskey to Graham Linehan. A soldier in the war against evil.” May 3, 18:54
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “As I mentioned these records of the non- union with Scotland can be researched and checked out, The dummies are…” May 3, 18:50
twathater on Seven Days Too Long: “Unfortunately for you James Che makes more sense with her contributions than you ever did with your constant support for…” May 3, 18:06
Izzie on Seven Days Too Long: “Just back from deliveting SNP both votes leaflet. Knocked them in. People seem to have forgiven (forgotten) campervangate? and Alex…” May 3, 18:06
Insider on Seven Days Too Long: “Alf Baird 3:25 Aye, you and “James Che” certainly made a good pair ! Is that the sound of wedding…” May 3, 16:35
Alf Baird on Seven Days Too Long: ““lost the plot” No so; James has merely confirmed what we all know, and as Liberation Scotland and Professor Robert…” May 3, 15:23
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Bilbo Apologies, my reply ended up in the wrong place. Anyway, update… I’ve since watched an interview with him. It…” May 3, 15:10
Sven on Seven Days Too Long: “He should be okay as long as he doesn’t go onto the roofs of any high building or too near…” May 3, 13:29
Mark Beggan on Seven Days Too Long: “James was locked in a cupboard as a child. That’s when the voices started.” May 3, 13:00
Mark Beggan on Seven Days Too Long: “Even the Scottish Greens are afraid of the Tit Whisperer. A gay Jew who is best chums with Islamic cut…” May 3, 12:53
Towbar Sullivan on Seven Days Too Long: “OIC…I didn’t realise. I’ll say a prayer for the poor demented old dear.” May 3, 12:47
Insider on Seven Days Too Long: “Towbar Don’t be too hard on “James”. It is actually a very old lady who has sadly “lost the plot”.…” May 3, 12:28
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Oh Sturgeon had her moments. Who could forget her idiotic post glorify the death count of Rs with various muscle…” May 3, 12:19
Towbar Sullivan on Seven Days Too Long: “James, have you been on the poitin? It was the 1800 Acts of Union, there was an Anglo-Irish Agreement, but…” May 3, 11:51
Bilbo on Seven Days Too Long: “@ Geri Have you not considered that Polanski, as a person well known in the media at the present time,…” May 3, 11:23
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “Recognising that the elections held in Scotland are actually the elections of United kingdom of Anglo-Irish parliament agreement 1800 and…” May 3, 11:21
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “These records can be checked, Once you dissolve one of the Countries of only two parties to the 1706/07 treaty…” May 3, 11:06
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “Today The UK is the united kingdom and parliament of England and Ireland, And does not include Scotland (twice).” May 3, 10:56
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “Scotland regained its status as an independent Country in 1707 and in 1800 respectively. Minus a monarch. Due to the…” May 3, 10:53
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “There has not been a Scottish parliament in the parliament of Westminster until the united kingdom of The new state…” May 3, 10:40
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “Englands parliament which it rebranded as the parliament of Great Britain held NO Scottish parliament since 1707, Twice Scotland had…” May 3, 10:19
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “The Anglo- Scottish parliament was dissolved 1800, resulting in a ceased union parliament of Great Britain Meaning that the transferred…” May 3, 10:07
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Bilbo, He probably apologised because he’d have received the Corbyn treatment. Bullied, intimidated, threatened by media mauling, Lawfare etc. I’ve…” May 3, 10:02
Bilbo on Seven Days Too Long: “@ James Curious how the trolls have been quiet for a while and then they coming piling in here just…” May 3, 10:01
Bilbo on Seven Days Too Long: “If anybody who doesn’t realise that the SNP can’t deliver independence by now isn’t going to change their mind to…” May 3, 09:57