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A different kind of beat 105

Posted on November 22, 2018 by

So this was in the Times football section today:

And you find yourself thinking, “Well gee, why might THAT be, Alex?”

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Britain really is this stupid 136

Posted on November 21, 2018 by

And we’re sure these guys are at least partly to blame.

The dust of the sawdust 269

Posted on November 20, 2018 by

We’re so far beyond mere “scraping the barrel” now.

Unhappy with polls based on asking the simple and clear question “Should Scotland be an independent country?”, and which have been stubbornly refusing to show any movement against independence, our dear old pals at Scotland In Union recently commissioned one of their own seeking to muddy the waters.

Their brainwave was to try to confuse respondents by tangling up the usual indyref responses (firmly and consistently set in people’s minds over the last seven years as “Yes” and “No”) with the responses associated with the EU referendum (“Remain” and “Leave”), in the hope that Scots – who of course are heavily in favour of Remain – would be fooled and/or brainwashed into saying something different.

And it very very slightly worked, right up to the point where it fell apart.

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The staunch defenders 281

Posted on November 19, 2018 by

If we were to write an article every time Murdo Fraser said something moronic, we’d have to rename this site Wings Over Murdo Fraser, and drink an awful lot of Red Bull to be able to cover it all.

Stuff like this, for example, is almost too easy.

43% (actually 45.3% excluding Don’t Knows) is considerably more than Murdo Fraser has ever achieved in an election, either himself or as part of a party. His average over the seven elections he’s contested and lost since 1999 is just 30.1%, and until a blip in 2016 it had been falling lower and lower each time, as people have watched how he performed as an MSP and got less and less keen on the idea.

That’s still actually slightly more than the 28.6% his party secured in Scotland at the last election, though, in what was nevertheless generally regarded as an unusually impressive performance. Two years earlier they gathered just 14.9% of the votes cast.

Yet neither Fraser nor the Tories disappear for a generation every time Scotland tells them to go and get stuffed. Fraser keeps trousering an MSP’s fat salary despite two decades of unbroken and unequivocal personal rejection from the electorate, even as he demands that the independence movement gives up after losing ONE vote.

But in his defence, his leader’s not setting him much of an example.

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Waiting for the penny to drop 96

Posted on November 19, 2018 by

This is the best one of these we’ve ever seen.

Nobody tell him, now. Imagine the moment when he spots it for himself.

The armchair terrorists 456

Posted on November 17, 2018 by

This is the editorial in today’s Scottish edition of The Times:

It seems to be an increasingly popular viewpoint in the country’s media.

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Unionist Blackjack 106

Posted on November 17, 2018 by

The threatened member 136

Posted on November 16, 2018 by

Ah, remember these simpler times, readers?

Thank goodness for etc etc.

Theresa May’s Crack Team 242

Posted on November 14, 2018 by

…is what they’re calling Jack and James now, we hear.

Draw your own conclusions about the word “crack” there.

Serving the nations 188

Posted on November 14, 2018 by

Ever aware of its need to deliver informed enlightenment to the populace, the state broadcaster has recently put up a “BBC Brexit Jargon Buster” page on its website. We’re not sure it was meant to be quite this candid.

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The whistleblower 432

Posted on November 12, 2018 by

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When they think we’re not listening 405

Posted on November 11, 2018 by

This piece ran in the Telegraph – a newspaper with no Scottish edition and almost no Scottish sales – on Friday. Click to enlarge.

Our favourite line is:

“Think of what the UK would be like without the vast wealth generated by the 44bn barrels of oil pumped from British territory over the last 40 years.”

(Curiously, this is a rather different line to the one Critchlow took during the indyref, when he was the Telegraph’s full-time business news editor penning a string of articles about how bankrupt an independent Scotland would be despite possessing an asset that’s now apparently big enough to prop up an economy 12 times Scotland’s size.)

It’s worth keeping in mind whenever Unionists tell us (a) how volatile and worthless and used-up oil is, (b) how much Scotland depends on the kind benevolence of the UK to survive, and (c) why we can’t have another referendum until years after Brexit.

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    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Get a grip, Alf. Why don’t you demand that the citizens of Venezuela, say, stop speaking Spanish? Brazil now. Shouldn’t…Jan 25, 11:07
    • James Cheyne on Yelling at the tide: “Should we just accept all the turmoil and chaos happening simultaniosly around the world or should we question why? The…Jan 25, 11:02
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “@Marie Calm down dear. It’s a white guy got killed. No boxes ticked. Nothing to see here. Even the previous…Jan 25, 10:57
    • James Cheyne on Yelling at the tide: “And now we can add AI imaging into the mix for confusing the narrative and directional purpose of goal.Jan 25, 10:51
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Sure, Willie. When you encounter an opinion you disagree with, then that’s abuse. I don’t mind so much that this…Jan 25, 10:48
    • David Holden on Yelling at the tide: “I think You tube needs to work on its targeted ads as while watching a quite impressive often foul mouthed…Jan 25, 10:46
    • James Cheyne on Yelling at the tide: “How many people are fallen prey to these multiple provided situations of psychological conditioning..Jan 25, 10:45
    • James Cheyne on Yelling at the tide: “The question is who is funding all the disruptions, From just stop oil, Black lives matter, Antifa, Gender ideology Climate…Jan 25, 10:39
    • Alf Baird on Yelling at the tide: ““As for the ludicrous idea that any young Scot should aim to graduate from university with a degree in Scots…Jan 25, 10:23
    • Marie on Yelling at the tide: “They’re not doing their jobs. They’re murdering people in cold blood.Jan 25, 10:07
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Yelling at the tide: “Un mot pour nous tous les vieillards… Dominique de Villepin: LA MORT D’IVAN ILITCH – PAR LÉON TOLSTOÏ www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7neR3E6jWUJan 25, 10:02
    • DaveL on Yelling at the tide: “Hey Wee Adolf, can’t you spell ‘cunt’?Jan 25, 10:01
    • willie on Yelling at the tide: “Another thoroughly objectionable post by commentator Hatey. Rather than address issues being raised this commentator goes into personal attack making…Jan 25, 10:01
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Say something stupid or denigrating. Sure, how about “Wee Adolf”, will that do?Jan 25, 09:56
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Get a grip, Alf. That’s not “preventing” in any meaningful sense of the word. As for the ludicrous idea that…Jan 25, 09:42
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “What happens when governments choose to finally implement border control, Willie, and people choose to try to stop authorised public…Jan 25, 09:35
    • Northcode on Yelling at the tide: ““Pax tecum” Et cum spiritu tuo. “An quhen all cessyt he spak” Thanks for the link, Fearghas.Jan 25, 07:16
    • Willie on Yelling at the tide: “The use of troops to intimidate and kill protestors in Minnesota is now very much beginning to resemble the actions…Jan 24, 23:02
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Yelling at the tide: “Meant to add this link to the online text: VIRGIL’S AENEID, TRANSLATED BY GAVIN DOUGLAS (1513) www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/49884/pg49884-images.htmlJan 24, 22:33
    • DaveL on Yelling at the tide: “Aye, there’s Wee Adolf McHateface reliable as ever. Wee Adolf, I’ve got to say it, It’d be a first for…Jan 24, 21:35
    • Alf Baird on Yelling at the tide: ““You tell me whoever it was prevented you from learning Scots” First nursery school, then primary school, followed by secondary…Jan 24, 21:12
    • Northcode on Yelling at the tide: ““hundered ” Aye, a ken aboot that yin anaw. Whit am a like the day? A’m aw flustered because nane…Jan 24, 20:50
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Great post, Northy. See that “theirs” in your last sentence? Is that the Scots leid richt their? Always keen tae…Jan 24, 20:41
    • Northcode on Yelling at the tide: “Aye, Hatey, they are a shower o cunts, right enough. Thank fuck for you, though…Jan 24, 20:39
    • Northcode on Yelling at the tide: ““theirs ” Aye, a ken.Jan 24, 20:36
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “@TURABDIN You just don’t get it. Scots invented the modern world. Only, the “modern” world our ancestors invented was the…Jan 24, 20:34
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Aye, Willie, what’s the world coming to, eh? You can’t even threaten armed cops with your own handgun any more…Jan 24, 20:26
    • Northcode on Yelling at the tide: ““…why are the online introductory pages of DSL all in English?” Whit leid sud thae be dae ye think? “Why…Jan 24, 20:17
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Morning Northy! Sorry it’s been near 12 hours and nae cant has stirred himself to respond to your post, other…Jan 24, 20:16
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Yelling at the tide: “Pax tecum. “Quhen he spak all cessyt” (Virgil’s AENEID, translated by Gavin Douglas, 1513)Jan 24, 20:12
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