The most tedious question we ever get asked when we criticise the SNP – because we’ve explained it a hundred times already and none of the people asking have ever bothered to look – is “But what would YOU do to secure independence, clever-clogs?”
We’ve outlined that plan in detail repeatedly – you can read it again here if you want. But maybe we need something a bit simpler for the hard of thinking, so let’s have a go.
We just noticed a finding from the most recent opinion poll that surprisingly seems to have escaped the attention of every Scottish newspaper except the Press & Journal.
As far as we can ascertain, the P&J was alone in reporting the obviously newsworthy fact that just a quarter of Scots believe the First Minister’s ridiculous cock-and-bull story about “forgetting” the occasion when she first heard that her friend, colleague and mentor of 30 years was facing charges of trying to rape some of her other friends.
But the figures are part of a wider and depressing trend.
We’ve just received the most extraordinary Freedom Of Information response from the Scottish Government, readers. Trust us, you want to go and make yourselves a strong cup of tea before you read it. Or get this guy to bring you one.
It doesn’t take a master analyst to see that the Salmond inquiry committee is running out of patience with the Scottish Government’s endless attempts to obstruct its work.
This afternoon it issued a statement, with obvious irritation, making clear that it did not wish to see documents the Scottish Government was trying to submit to it, which the committee had not asked for, and which had previously been struck down as unlawful by Lord Pentland in the initial judicial inquiry.
The Scottish Government’s only purpose in doing so was to try to put the details of the discredited and disproven-in-court allegations into the public domain with the intention of smearing Mr Salmond yet again, and the committee has made its displeasure with the plan clear, telling the Scottish Government to abandon its intended legal action to release the documents and get on with producing the ones the inquiry HAS asked for.
But there’s a little bit more to the story than that.
We’re grumpy this morning, readers, because it’s Sunday and we were planning a long lie and then someone told us about this. It’s the First Minister appearing on the Sophy Ridge show on Sky News at around 8.45am and you need to see it.
In the light of yesterday’s revelations, we’ve sent the following Freedom Of Information request to the Central Enquiry Unit (CEU) of the Scottish Government.
Back in the 1980s there was a hit game for the ZX Spectrum home computer called Worse Things Happen At Sea. In it you play a robot whose job is to get a heavily-laden cargo ship safely to port, except that more and more disasters keep befalling it.
It springs leaks, it veers off course, the engine overheats and the robot’s power runs down, until eventually the catalogue of catastrophes overwhelms the harassed metallic custodian and the boat slides down into the murky depths.
We wonder if that feels familiar to anyone at the moment.
On 23rd March this year, after Alex Salmond was found not guilty of 13 criminal charges in the High Court, I called on the Scottish Government to set up a judge-led inquiry into the allegation that he had been the subject of a conspiracy involving the Scottish Government, which resulted in him being accused of criminal behaviour.
There’s an especially interesting post on the blog of Scottish solicitor-advocate Gordon Dangerfield at the moment, pointing out that there are no legal reasons whatever for the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS) to be withholding documents relating to the allegations against Alex Salmond, and indeed issuing dire threats of prosecution against him or anyone who might put them into the public domain.
(All of the blog’s coverage of the inquiry in general has been expert and revealing, and should be the first stop for readers seeking to understand proceedings.)
The items in question include the infamous WhatsApp messages exchanged by the group of people attempting to have Salmond imprisoned for crimes he didn’t commit, among them SNP chief executive Peter Murrell.
When two of Murrell’s messages were leaked recently it was front-page news in the Scottish press, and generated a huge amount of subsequent coverage. Commentators as diverse as Mandy Rhodes of Holyrood magazine and Alex Massie of the Times and Spectator have noted that while they’d initially disbelieved talk of a conspiracy, the Scottish Government’s actions have given them the opposite impression.
The message log is absolutely central to Salmond’s claim of a conspiracy against him, so the last thing that either COPFS or the leadership of the SNP wants is for it to become public knowledge. Indeed, COPFS has denied that the messages exist at all, which makes it a bit weird that the police are currently conducting a serious criminal investigation into who leaked some apparently entirely imaginary documents.
So it would be quite astonishing if they suddenly disappeared, wouldn’t it?
Readers, we can’t tell you how much we want to get back to just dissecting Scotland’s hopeless Unionist media for a living. It’s a lot more fun than what the current political circumstances are obliging us to do, so you can hardly imagine our excitement when we spotted what looked like an open goal in yesterday’s Mail On Sunday.
Our ears pricked up immediately at the sight of the words “up to”, which is invariably a sign of dodgy doings on the way, and so it proved. The article contained no solid data at all about the size of Scottish Government special advisers’ pay rises, only how many SpAds there were and which general pay bands they were in, each of which spans a wide range of between £14,000 and £23,000.
But while the Mail had spooned the sitter six feet over the crossbar – because the crude spin they’d put on it was total rubbish – there was still a loose ball just waiting to be knocked into the back of the net.
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “Screams; GUILTY.. Nae wonder Sturgeon was in tears of gratitude when he said he’d take over eh!? Can’t last forever…” Apr 21, 19:22
sarah on The Pit Of Vipers: “100%Yes: I don’t subscribe to the National but saw this story posted by other independence supporters. It is a shocker.” Apr 21, 19:18
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “C’mon Wullie Cicero is uber untrendy now after Bojo the Clown used him as an example in his getting sacked…” Apr 21, 19:16
100%Yes on The Pit Of Vipers: “You subscribe to the national, just wondering what is it you get from this Rag??” Apr 21, 19:05
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “Lorncal Faggats and their legions of handmaidens..” Apr 21, 19:04
100%Yes on The Pit Of Vipers: “John Swinney rejects calls for public inquiry into Alex Salmond ‘conspiracy’, What a shocker.” Apr 21, 19:02
twathater on The Pit Of Vipers: “@ Angus, Colin Alexander has been posting comments on WOS since at least 2014 , his comments have been scathing…” Apr 21, 18:32
Alf Baird on The Pit Of Vipers: “Yes, Fanon tells us that ‘the colonialist may speak in the native tongue’, and that ‘colonialism is always a co-operative…” Apr 21, 18:28
Lorncal on The Pit Of Vipers: “Rev: stooshie going on at ‘The National’ and ‘The Herald’ newspapers because they wouldn’t run an ISP campaign advert unless…” Apr 21, 18:24
Lorncal on The Pit Of Vipers: “YL: not saying she wasn’t at the centre. Just that she did not kick the thing off, I believe. Others…” Apr 21, 18:16
Lorncal on The Pit Of Vipers: “I hate to say it, but, you know, this is women – or, at least some of them. It’s always…” Apr 21, 17:45
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “George @ 4.59 Correct.” Apr 21, 17:45
Lorncal on The Pit Of Vipers: “And look what happened to poor old Cicero, Willie. Mark Antony did for him.” Apr 21, 17:29
George Ferguson on The Pit Of Vipers: “@Alf Baird Fine Alf but when I served in Northern Ireland we were regarded as peace keepers. The context which…” Apr 21, 16:59
sam on The Pit Of Vipers: “You can add to that list the so called Troubles of NI. In which grievances over civil rights and the…” Apr 21, 16:36
100%Yes on The Pit Of Vipers: “Keir Starmer has resigned and his last wish is to grant Swinney a section 30 order.” Apr 21, 16:21
Lorncal on The Pit Of Vipers: “I didn’t say she was not, 100%. I said that she did not kick it off, others did. The opportunity…” Apr 21, 16:20
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “Fat Slag Wilma Flintstone @2.26 “paaaaal”” Apr 21, 15:29
TURABDIN on The Pit Of Vipers: “TUCKER CARLSON one of the US rights many paper messiahs opined re my country of birth, «Iraq is a crappy…” Apr 21, 14:26
Captain Caveman on The Pit Of Vipers: ““Werthers Original”” Apr 21, 14:26
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “Fat Slag Wilma Flintstone @ 1.56 “maaaaaate”..” Apr 21, 14:06
wullie on The Pit Of Vipers: “Marcus Tullius Cicero “A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within.…” Apr 21, 14:05
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “Geri I wonder how much longer the US superpower (empire) has got before it’s slid down to the has-beens league…” Apr 21, 13:57
Captain Caveman on The Pit Of Vipers: “Ah, Rambo “adding value” to the BTL chat with yet more fantasy as ever, I see (much like his non…” Apr 21, 13:56
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “AI dun @ 12.46 Stop clutching your pearls so tightly “old boy”, you’ll hurt yerself.” Apr 21, 13:37
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “Fat Slag Wilma Flintstone @ 6.54 “Maaaaate” Spellcheck that.” Apr 21, 13:31
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “Fearghas I thought we were talking about a mythical Tower of Babel timeline? Not a modern language imposition. Anyway apparently…” Apr 21, 13:26
Aidan on The Pit Of Vipers: “Why don’t all the normal people on Wings BTL piss off so that Geri and co can rant a rave…” Apr 21, 12:46
Marie on The Pit Of Vipers: “Thanks for this. I read Elkins “Britain’s Gulag” many years ago. Her research into the barbarity of British troops in…” Apr 21, 12:46
