One of the compensations of living in England (from the perspective of editing a website about Scottish politics) is that you get a much clearer picture of how English people – who make up 85% of the UK electorate, and as such in practice determine who the government is – see the country’s political leaders.
For those of you who don’t, here’s Charlie Brooker – a man who’s no fan of the Tories by any stretch of the imagination – casting a weary and exasperated eye over Ed “these strikes are wrong” Miliband on last night’s Weekly Wipe.
In our experience it’s a pretty accurate snapshot of how the hapless Labour leader is regarded by most left-leaning people down on this side of the border. You’ll need to have seen the rest of the episode to get the “Schofield!” joke.
The abusive Facebook comments recently directed at Labour MP Margaret Curran and highlighted in a piece on the STV website today make us sigh. Not only are they horrible but they’re counter-productive, in every sense of the term – they’re not going to change Curran’s mind about anything by yelling at her, and they feed a narrative about “vile cybernats” that the media is all too eager to gleefully perpetuate.
So let’s make something clear from the off: shut up, idiots. You’re not helping.
A number of readers last night sent us copies of the response to complaints they’d made to the Independent Press Standards Organisation about the Daily Record’s infamous “The Vow” front cover. We attach the full judgement at the bottom of this article, and as far as we’re concerned it’s fair and accurate. The Vow was a deliberate deception, but it didn’t break any rules – it merely relied on readers misinterpreting it.
The bit we’re still interested in is the paragraph above.
You almost have to grudgingly admire the sheer bull-headed tenacity of their dogged determination to prove once and for all to the people of Scotland that Labour think they’re dribbling gullible morons.
A quick rhetorical question, readers: if, as Labour endlessly claim, the Tories want the SNP to win seats in Scotland in order to stop Ed Miliband being PM, why are most of the Scottish columnists in the right-wing press calling on Scots to vote Labour?
By now we imagine most readers have already seen the alleged leak of the Ashcroft polling results which aren’t due to be officially released until 11am today [EDIT 00.47am: out now], and which suggest some jaw-dropping SNP gains.
We’re not going to go off half-cocked until those have been confirmed, so instead here’s something sent in by an alert reader. It’s an extract from the autobiography of former Radio 1 DJ Liz Kershaw, and describes events around the funeral of Princess Diana. We think you’ll find it enlightening.
The media is aflame today with the claim that Jim Murphy has finally ended weeks of speculation about whether he’ll stand again for his current Westminster seat of East Renfrewshire in the general election. Numerous sources including STV, the BBC, the Scotsman and Murphy’s local press have all announced unequivocally that the MP has confirmed his candidacy.
The only slight hitch is that he’s done absolutely no such thing.
We’re a bit surprised The Sun managed to get an issue out at all today, to be honest. The editorial team must have been struggling to see through their tears of laughter after they managed to get two days of free publicity in every rival newspaper in the country and a ton of coverage from national broadcasters over a completely imaginary decision to stop featuring topless models on Page 3.
And they must have almost wept with the hilarity of getting The Guardian to line up a whole collection of its most pompous feminists to prematurely proclaim victory and parade some gloating triumphalism across several pages, before putting a winking Nicole, 22, from Bournemouth front and centre this morning and innocently pointing out that they’d never actually said anything so why was everyone acting so surprised?
Now, of course, every rival paper in the land will spend ANOTHER day or two talking about the sting, and The Sun will continue to roll on the floor and clutch its sides and get away with printing stuff like this:
And the thing is, nobody who looks like an idiot today will learn the lesson.
Willie on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “What tools do you think we should be developing Dan. Scotland is a gangster run state, using gangster methods of…” Jun 24, 08:45
Free Speech Purist on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “It would be nice to hear Nichola answer questions that she has so far not responded to. Murrell is in…” Jun 24, 08:32
Spartan 117 on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Guyliner can do one, along with the rest of his rotten party.” Jun 24, 08:27
Hatey McHateface on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: ““how many Scots will he have in his cabinet?” Dunno, TURABDIN, but I guess it depends on whether he believes…” Jun 24, 08:24
TURABDIN on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Should Burnham get the shoo in for the British state’s next PM how many Scots will he have in his…” Jun 24, 08:06
paul on Job Half Done: “vMs Sturgeon was utterly deceived and let down by her husband whom she had trusted. No need to bring up…” Jun 24, 07:39
Hatey McHateface on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: ““am i missing something” You forgot to say “we’re doomed!”. “Nothing, and I mean nothing, is off limits in what…” Jun 24, 07:30
Hatey McHateface on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: ““But if an MSP in Holyrood were to do the same, they would likely find themselves facing down prosecution” To…” Jun 24, 07:21
Captain Caveman on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: ““… information and Unionist annoyance was in order..” I can’t speak for anyone else, but no annoyance from my side…” Jun 24, 07:08
Hatey McHateface on The End Of Law: “Nobody should listen much to somebody who self-identifies as a “hobbit” from a set of frankly ludicrous fairy tales. If…” Jun 24, 06:53
Hatey McHateface on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Wow! A blow by blow account of your wee, small hours posting effort, finishing at your peak tonto time, 1:45…” Jun 24, 06:48
Willie on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Murrell is now in prison guilty of embezzling over £400k of funds. The police and prosecution have been through the…” Jun 24, 06:18
Marco McGinty on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Indeed. Neither Fred West or Jimmy Savile (and many others) stood in the dock for their collective crimes. Does Anwar…” Jun 24, 05:31
Young Lochinvar on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “I write this at around 1am on the 24th of June, the anniversary of the second day of the Battle…” Jun 24, 01:43
Young Lochinvar on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “What exactly is that human rights lawyer ( apols can’t be bothered looking up his name), champion of the underdog…” Jun 24, 00:42
Young Lochinvar on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Yes Apparently during all these years “Honest John” was a nobody.. Really?? Hmmmm 7th level of hell Johnny boy..” Jun 23, 23:47
Young Lochinvar on The End Of Law: “Wilma Flintstone That sounds like a compliment wrapped up in an insult covered in a biscuit.. Eff aff ya nobody..” Jun 23, 23:39
Angus on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: ““But the former is absolutely black with her sticky fingerprints, plainly visible to anyone. She was the leader of the…” Jun 23, 23:39
Angus on Job Half Done: ““Be assured, readers, that Wings won’t rest until it is.” Amen to that.” Jun 23, 23:22
Angus on Job Half Done: “I agree with C Mac Kay that he will be out within six months. They will find a way to…” Jun 23, 23:20
agentx on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “No confusion – if someone has dangly bits they go to a male prison – if they don’t then they…” Jun 23, 23:09
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Search assistant info: « Glenn Campbell’s Brain Tumour Diagnosis Glenn Campbell, the political editor for BBC Scotland, was diagnosed with…” Jun 23, 20:26
Confused on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “people wondering why she wasn’t investigated/charged properly by people whoses bosses bosses boss – WORKS FOR HER and/or got their…” Jun 23, 20:24
Southernbystander on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “I wonder what ‘beyond outrageous’ really looks like? These things tend to be circular so actually it may simply be,…” Jun 23, 20:09
MaryB on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “I see that Nicola’s got two Herald headlines this evening. Still protesting her innocence. Funny that. If she was innocent,…” Jun 23, 20:04
Glenn Boyd on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: ““Full interview with the police on what it took to prosecute Peter Murrell” is available on YOUTUBE in which the…” Jun 23, 19:58