At least, we assume there was a sizeable current being passed through it, as little else could explain the visibly uncomfortable half-hour experienced by hapless Stonewall chair Iain Anderson with Beth Rigby last night, or the seemingly random changes every few seconds in his facial expressions, body language and accent.
(Just about the only constant, other than his sweating top lip, was the deeply irritating modern phenomenon of stupid people starting every sentence with the word “So…”.)
If you’re a connoisseur of vacuous, nervous awkwardness you’re in for a real treat. If you want to see a human being actually answering any questions with even the tiniest shred of coherence, pertinence or honesty, maybe give it a miss.
Here are three recent newspaper stories. This one’s from two weeks ago:
A wealthy businessman, related to an SNP MP, is alleged to have donated tens of thousands of pounds in envelopes to the party which it is claimed have unlawfully not been recorded with the Electoral Commission.
We’ve seen some hilarious demands for “unity” in the independence movement in the last couple of years, almost all of them from the most divisive figures ever to wave a wee plastic Saltire (Pete Wishart, Neil Mackay, Wee Ginger Dug etc etc).
But this effort from the SNP’s new airhead mascot takes the shortbread.
This is a wretchedly boring time to be writing about politics for a living, readers. Parliamentarians in Edinburgh and London haven’t technically checked out for the summer yet – Holyrood still has a month to go before taking two months off, while Westminster is currently having a couple of weeks off for “Whitsun”, whatever the hell that is, before coming back for a month and a half then sodding off until September.
But really they’re already at the “bringing board games in” stage of term, and both the elected chambers and the media already have their eyes on the beach, which probably explains why we’re being punted drivel like this.
Even if we must afford the graphics team some grudging kudos for the unicoo.
You really have to go some to stand out as a proper grade-A scumbag in the ranks of trans activists, readers, but let’s be fair and commend some serious effort when we see it. Everyone, meet Beth (no, not that one).
Beth is a nasty little grifter trying to monetise “transphobia”, although it’s not going massively well so far, with only five donors signed up. So they’ve come up with an idea, although not a very original one: a list.
Goodness knows we could all do with some cheering up at the moment, so let’s have a momentary change of tone and kick today off with a chuckle or two.
We’ve been working a bit too hard lately, and yesterday’s Wings post went to press with an unprecedented FOUR errors in it, including an “is is” instead of “it is”, a “more far” in place of a “far more” and a “strata” where there should have been a “stratum”. We’re deeply ashamed, and thanks to the alert Wings readers – including our mum – who swiftly drew our attention to them.
The most embarrassing clanger was this one, which we fixed promptly:
So imagine our surprise when we were reading this morning’s Scottish press.
You might think that Scottish political journalists would all be in a shark-like frenzy of excitement at the events of the last few days. But not over on The Guardian.
Apparently it’s all a bit too much for the delicate wee flowers.
Tonight’s debate on Sky News between the three SNP leadership candidates was yet another inconclusive low-scoring draw, with each contender taking a few hits (almost all from host Beth Rigby) and also landing the odd blow on each other.
The most notable of the latter was probably when Ash Regan gave Humza Yousaf a rather uncomfortable time over his claiming credit for the Queensferry Crossing when he was Transport Secretary.
As well as frantically trying to deflect by pretending Regan had attacked the SNP’s record on the project in general, Yousaf insisted that he’d played a major role in the bridge’s delivery. So let’s just check the timeline.
The Unionist media in Scotland (ie all of the media in Scotland) usually keeps up a pretty united front when it comes to the subjects of independence or the SNP. So it’s been fascinating in these last couple of weeks to see a genuine schism develop between them on the subject of the party’s leadership election.
(For the avoidance of doubt, we do not include Holyrood Magazine, whose splendid front cover image that is, in “the Unionist media”.)
Right back at the start of the contest we highlighted The Times’ full-on love-in for Kate Forbes, but most of the Scottish press has now made their preferences clear. And you’ll never guess who they really, really DON’T want to be the next First Minister.
Alf Baird on Holiday Relief: “I see you have attracted a dubious ‘friend’ there Fearghas, which would tend to suggest, as I believe, that I…” Jun 28, 12:04
Alf Baird on The Art Of Noise: “Scotland’s strategic geographic location on the Great Circle Route has not changed, so we continue to hold that advantage for…” Jun 28, 11:43
100%Yes on The Art Of Noise: “I have no idea what percentage of the general public is aware of the SNP stance on Indy, I would…” Jun 28, 11:15
Andy Ellis on Holiday Relief: “@Fherghas (passim) Good to see you shining a light on Alt’s obfuscations and attempts to re-write history. The fact he…” Jun 28, 11:14
100%Yes on The Art Of Noise: “Can you explain as to why my post on Craig Murray recent visit to the UN aren’t being posted. If…” Jun 28, 10:40
Grendel on Anatomy Of A Lunatic: “Kelly was our LACU Political Officer or some such thing, and in his time in office he did the square…” Jun 28, 10:24
Stuart MacKay on The Art Of Noise: “Alf. Your fired! Time to pick the the Ports and Transport portfolio once more. I’d be interested to hear what…” Jun 28, 10:05
Stuart MacKay on The Art Of Noise: “Sounds like Swinney is, quite deliberately, setting himself up for spectacular failure. No doubt with the goal of getting an…” Jun 28, 10:01
Sven on The Art Of Noise: “Turabdin @ 08.50. Sorry, argument falls down; not even a single reference to what Post Colonial Theory suggests and the…” Jun 28, 09:28
TURABDIN on The Art Of Noise: “« I want to deliver a significant advance on my political arguments for independence…» AI being so HOT with politicos,…” Jun 28, 08:50
Colin Dawson on The Art Of Noise: “The only thing that will bring independence any closer is destroying the credibility of the SNP long before the 2026…” Jun 28, 08:31
Alf Baird on Holiday Relief: “We have to consider the realities of the time, and over time, Fearghas, as well as how languages develop. All…” Jun 28, 08:06
Jamie on But Don’t Give Yourself Away: “What nonsense to say we can only have 1 referendum election, more like a million consecutively or as many as…” Jun 27, 23:55
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Holiday Relief: “My fault Alf for not making my last question tight enough. However unlikely the prospect that you might one day…” Jun 27, 22:53
Mark Beggan on The Art Of Noise: “Stay on the Downers John boy that shit ain’t doing you no good” Jun 27, 22:51
Mark Beggan on The Art Of Noise: “Crack cocaine.? What else?” Jun 27, 22:49
Alf Baird on Holiday Relief: “It is well established that English (and other languages) use many words from various languages. The essential thing for us…” Jun 27, 22:17
Hatey McHateface on Holiday Relief: “Sure, Alf, and perhaps “cide” is derived from the Humous for “yellow, tunnel skulking, helpless lassie mutilator”, but that’s all…” Jun 27, 21:36
Hatey McHateface on The Art Of Noise: “Surely Swinney is doing a first-class job? It’s not his fault that nobody ever asked for the job description to…” Jun 27, 21:24
sarah on The Art Of Noise: “They got rid of the Good Guys and they changed the party rules to permit self-identifying of disability in order…” Jun 27, 21:13
Alf Baird on Holiday Relief: ““linguicide” (death of a language due to natural or political causes) is derived from the Latin ‘lingua’, meaning tongue.” Jun 27, 21:11
Hatey McHateface on Holiday Relief: ““Linguicide” Loving it, Alf. BTW, what’s the Scots for linguicide? That’s surely gonna be the first question every alert…” Jun 27, 20:59
Hatey McHateface on And it’s goodnight from he/him: “That’s a thought provoking post, Andy, but tell us true. If we Scots all just shouted “Bairns Not Bombs” in…” Jun 27, 20:51
socratesmacsporran on The Art Of Noise: “You might have hoped, given what a success Swinney was as SNP leader, first time round, a half-way sensible party…” Jun 27, 20:43
Hatey McHateface on But Don’t Give Yourself Away: “James’s Mammie gone oot again. Hope she left James plenty of Kleenex!” Jun 27, 20:42
Alf Baird on Holiday Relief: ““Scots displacing other native languages” ? Hardly. Lets looks at the facts: Gaelic came from Ireland. Norse from Scandinavia. English…” Jun 27, 19:33
Andy Ellis on And it’s goodnight from he/him: “You clearly don’t know what you’re talking about. Many US defence systems actually depend on European (and sometimes Taiwanese, Japanese,…” Jun 27, 18:39
James on But Don’t Give Yourself Away: ““…You’re coming across as obsessed, tending towards unhinged…” ROTFLMFAO – look in a mirror, Prick.” Jun 27, 18:36
Andy Ellis on Holiday Relief: “@Fearghas I’m sure this has been pointed out to Alf before: the colonialism goose sauce serves equally well for the…” Jun 27, 18:26
Confused on The Art Of Noise: “stop being so lazy and read the article; grandad was a yookie who did a lot of yehudis but then,…” Jun 27, 18:04
Loving it, Alf. BTW, what’s the Scots for linguicide? That’s surely gonna be the first question every alert…
