Pointing out the spectacular levels of imbecility among Scotland’s elected Tories has threatened to become a full-time job for this website in recent months. We wish we could say that today’s example was even a particularly noteworthy one, but tragically it’s about par for the course.
Today’s Scottish Daily Mail leads with a rather limp piece about some fairly minor and unavoidable loopholes in the new legislation for minimum alcohol pricing. It notes, for example, that if people order alcohol online and it’s despatched by the supplier from outside Scotland, the Scottish Government will have no jurisdiction over the price.
(Because the UK has no internal border controls and there’s no law against someone buying cheaper booze in England and bringing it home to Scotland.)
Retailers, of course, can easily block this loophole if they choose to, by refusing to deliver cheap alcohol purchases to Scottish addresses, so it’s not much of a problem.
And the other “loopholes” aren’t actually loopholes at all – one*, according to the Mail, is that “loyalty reward vouchers can also continue to be offered to cut the cost of alcohol”, which is a bit like saying it’s a “loophole” that employers could give people pay rises that they might use to buy more beer.
But if you thought THAT was stupid, Annie Wells MSP is here to raise the bar.
(NB These rules do not apply to Andrew Neil, Nick Robinson, etc etc. Like, duh. In a properly democratic country we’d be able to use FOI to actually see the blacklist, but this is the BBC we’re talking about.)
There can surely be no country on Earth cursed and plagued with a more pathetic shower of petty, whining, gossiping harpies in those roles than Scotland. And while we knew that already, barely a day seems to go by without them reaching a new nadir.
If you’ve got the stomach to hear about the latest low point, grit your teeth, lower your expectations of humanity considerably and read on.
Yes, we know the Express announces a “killer blow” to independence every couple of weeks. But otherwise we can think of nothing to add to this story, so just click the pic to read and enjoy.
As is often the case with Scottish newspapers these days, the story was based entirely on a fantasy – IF a certain number of people did a certain thing (flee to England to escape a 1p income tax rise), which the story doesn’t provide a shred of evidence to suggest they’re going to do, then a bad thing would happen.
“There now follows a party election broadcast by the…”
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The political broadcasts at election time are a time-worn tradition in the UK (as is our reaction to them) but not too many people really understand why political campaign broadcasts take this form, nor why it’s actually quite important that they do.
Stuck for any actual news at the tail of the Easter weekend, today’s Scottish Daily Mail reaches once again into the bag marked “Emergency Barrel Scrapings” and comes up with that old faithful beloved of all newspapers, a shock-horror “OMG LOOK HOW EXPENSIVE THE TRAINS ARE!” story.
It’s always an easy hit – partly because since a shambolic, fragmented privatisation the UK does have pretty much the most expensive railways per mile in the civilised world, but also because regular train users tend to mainly travel in the same area all the time, and are easily persuaded that they have it worse than people anywhere else.
So let’s ignore all the Mail’s ridiculous cobblers blaming the SNP – who have very limited control over the fare policies of Abellio (the Dutch state-owned company who run ScotRail) and who have been prevented by successive UK governments from nationalising the network – and just see if that’s true.
This is a grim and dispiriting time to be monitoring the Scottish political media, even by its normal low standards. So little is happening that Unionist newspapers desperate for any kind of SNP BAD story are scraping the residue from the scrapings from the barrel that they scraped away to splinters months ago.
A case in point is today’s FRONT-PAGE piece in the Herald containing the shocking revelation that someone connected with the SNP registered – in their own name, not even the party’s – an internet domain called organise.scot last summer.
Even though the domain is still unused eight months later and there isn’t a shred of evidence about what it might ever be used for, a couple of opposition benchwarmers speculating that a private individual registering a web domain must somehow prove that the sneaky SNP are plotting a new independence campaign was considered by the Herald to be not just news, but front-page news.
(It’ll certainly come as a massive shock to everyone in Scotland who assumed that the SNP had given up on seeking independence after pursuing it as their primary reason for existence for a mere 85 years or so.)
And alarmingly, it wasn’t even the stupidest piece of Nat-bashing to appear in the Scottish press in the last 48 hours.
Remember that time, barely over a decade ago, when the readers of the Scottish Daily Express came out for independence despite national polls only showing support in the 20s, the paper sold over 80,000 copies a day (now just 38,000) and Severin Carrell of the Guardian reported that it was about to adopt independence as its official position?
(Which we don’t think ever actually happened.)
Because nothing is weirder than Scottish politics.
We’re at the halfway point of our 2018 fundraiser, and the all-sources total so far is a thumpingly impressive £103,266 in just two weeks. But while that’s a tremendous sum, it’s sobering too.
Firstly because with an average monthly readership of nearly 304,000 people it comes to an average contribution of slightly under 30p per reader. As with most crowdfunded ventures, fewer than 1% of the site’s users have actually backed it financially so far.
And secondly because for perspective, the average Scottish adult – independence supporters included – sends the BBC about £72 a year. (£323m from 4.5m adults.)
While obviously a minority of folk do boycott the licence fee, that still means that the average Wings reader gives the BBC 240 times as much money every year as they give Wings to fight it.
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on All Or Nothing: “Tentative translation of the Marquis of Montrose quatrain: He either fears his fate too much, Or his deserts are small,…” May 8, 23:10
Confused on All Or Nothing: “hail mia, full of grace, the lord is with thee … jesus was “antisemitic” : Ye are of YOUR FATHER…” May 8, 22:52
Lorn on The Last Thing They’ll Expect: “I think, Mia, the traditional Scottish Unionist vote and UKReform do not a double act make. They are coming from…” May 8, 22:51
Lorn on The Last Thing They’ll Expect: “Neither, Hatey. It doesn’t have to be above 48% before a campaign starts. Calling the bluff of both Holyrood and…” May 8, 22:45
Lorn on The Last Thing They’ll Expect: “Your tedious nonsense might apply to some nationalists, but, for the majority, we are very well aware that independence will…” May 8, 22:39
Hatey McHateface on All Or Nothing: “Understood. I’m gonna assume that “wanking on and on” is an order of magnitude more serious than “wanging on” ” May 8, 22:17
Rev. Stuart Campbell on All Or Nothing: “Y’know, I’m not sure you were ever voting Yes, mate.” May 8, 21:50
Rev. Stuart Campbell on All Or Nothing: “Fucksake, what do I have to DO to stop you people fucking wanking on and on about Israel and Palestine?…” May 8, 21:49
Hatey McHateface on All Or Nothing: “Woo, check out the big guts on Mia. She’s standing by her words. There’s your route to Indy right there.…” May 8, 21:39
Mia on All Or Nothing: ““The problem is the number of plants [in Hollyrood] working for the USA’s deep state and for the rogue state…” May 8, 21:06
Mia on The Last Thing They’ll Expect: “I am actually very surprised the Green vote remains that stubbornly high after their many cock ups with the return…” May 8, 20:58
Hatey McHateface on All Or Nothing: “Aw, quick everybody, look at Mia. If frantic virtue signalling could give you wings, she’d have enough lift to carry…” May 8, 20:53
Mia on All Or Nothing: ““It’s people like you that stopped me voting YES” Yes to what? It is trolls like you and Hatey what…” May 8, 20:50
Vivian O’Blivion on The Last Thing They’ll Expect: “RefUK friendly polling outfit Find Out Now have the Faragists on a thirteen percentage point lead! Westminster voting intention, field…” May 8, 20:26
Yoon Scum on All Or Nothing: “Mia It’s people like you that stopped me voting YES And I use the term “people” in it’s loosest meaning” May 8, 20:16
Mia on All Or Nothing: ““an openly unashamed antisemite” If, according to you, the new meaning of the word “antisemite” is to feel sick at,…” May 8, 19:58
100%Yes on The Last Thing They’ll Expect: “He keeps having a go at Alba Party. Bitter nice as a drink, it must be hell for someone who’s…” May 8, 19:58
Yoon Scum on The Last Thing They’ll Expect: “The biggest tell that a NAT isn’t very bright is they cannot give one single reason to stay in the…” May 8, 19:52
Hatey McHateface on All Or Nothing: “Like I said, Mia, you’re an openly unashamed antisemite. Whether it’s you blaming your perceived wrongs in Scotland’s governance on…” May 8, 19:47
Mia on All Or Nothing: ““days of 2014, that antisemitism w…” zzzzzz!! Antisemitism. The good old magic (but by now devoid of meaning) word that…” May 8, 19:23
Hatey McHateface on The Last Thing They’ll Expect: “You just beat me to it, YS. I was wondering if Rev Stu is lying to us, or if supporting…” May 8, 19:21
Hatey McHateface on All Or Nothing: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, sara, but who cares about that? Don’t we really need racist, sectarian, twisted bigots if we are…” May 8, 19:12
Mia on All Or Nothing: ““Happily there will be true independence fighters to vote for” I am counting on that, Sarah, but, If am not…” May 8, 19:09
Owen Mullions on The Last Thing They’ll Expect: “His blog these days has nothing to do with independence, just a constant diatribe against Alba (no wonder they got…” May 8, 19:06
Hatey McHateface on All Or Nothing: “Mia blaming Scotland’s situation on Da Dews again. Who ever thought, back in the heady days of 2014, that antisemitism…” May 8, 19:02
Xaracen on All Or Nothing: “Excellent summary! The fact of Westminster insisting on its own sovereignty only verifies that the concept of sovereignty is a…” May 8, 18:56
Yoon Scum on The Last Thing They’ll Expect: “YEP that has been the plan in 2019 there was a vote on keeping the UK in the common market…” May 8, 18:55
Yoon Scum on The Last Thing They’ll Expect: “If each event I was told was going to have a massive boost for indy actually did have a massive…” May 8, 18:53
Yoon Scum on The Last Thing They’ll Expect: “Most moon howlers and NATs think that support for indy is well over 70% many think it is 90% So…” May 8, 18:51
James Cheyne on All Or Nothing: “Mia, Hear hear. It is not allor nothing, The problem is the voting system in Scotland under Westminster parliament of…” May 8, 18:37