To be honest, readers, the peculiar events of yesterday continued to nag at us all day as every news broadcaster in Scotland and beyond leapt eagerly on the ludicrous non-story from the Herald On Sunday’s front page. (It was even the #2 item on BBC Radio Wales, inexplicably).
For such an absolute nothingball of scurrilous sub-gossip to so dominate the entire news media was just too strange to ignore. We cannot remember the last time a low-grade freelancer managed to sell the same story to FOUR major Scottish newspapers – who normally, remember, only want exclusives for their big front-page splashes – let alone a crummy opinion columnist (not even an actual news reporter) who’s only been back in journalism for five minutes after a 15-year break as a failed PR guru.
(Once they’d all run the shoddy hatchet piece, TV and radio then had all the excuse they needed to blare it across the airwaves. “Oh, it’s not us inflating and amplifying this garbage, guv, we’re just reporting what the papers are saying.”)
So in our eternal quest for enlightenment and understanding we thought we’d see if we could find out a bit more about the little-known but recently-revived sleeper assassin with the ironic name: Carlos Alba.
Alex Salmond will be laid to rest in the green turf of Aberdeenshire today in a quiet and dignified private ceremony. (A public celebration of his life will take place next month.)
Most of Scotland’s press and commentariat beclowned itself shamefully after his death just as it did during his life, but below is a (regrettably short) collection of those who did otherwise and who deserve to be noted honourably beside the man himself.
Wherever you find giants, you also find parasites, bottom-feeders and carrion. When a mighty lion dies in the jungle, tiny creeping crawling maggots and insects and bacteria feast gleefully on its corpse for many days.
Which naturally brings us to the Scottish media.
The above paragraphs of cowardly innuendo and baseless speculative smearing were penned by Severin Carrell and Libby Brooks in the Guardian on Monday. (They’re not from the ironically-headed “Appreciation” that the same two hacks wrote for Sunday’s Observer, in which they audaciously claimed that Salmond’s success was down to Nicola Sturgeon).
They sneakily imply that Salmond was guilty not only of the sexual assaults of which he was cleared in court, but also of an unspecified number of unnamed others, and make assertions of “disturbing evidence about his personal conduct” without specifying what that evidence or conduct might have been.
We’ve just watched the BBC’s new documentary, and we’re confused.
You can see both episodes on iPlayer now, or on TV tonight and tomorrow, but there’s no mistaking what’s being advertised – a personal drama between the two biggest players in Scottish politics in the last 300 years.
In many ways, the fabricated, hysterical furore of Humza Yousaf Vs Elon Musk is the ultimate in summer-silly-season politics stories.
Absurdly plainly, the former First Minister ISN’T going to take any legal action against the billionaire owner of Twitter. He only likes bullying small nurseries, and even then he doesn’t follow through. He didn’t even sue us for calling him racist a few months ago, so there’s zero chance he’s going to square up to the world’s richest man.
Every now and again you’ll go to clean them up and find something that you’ve been meaning to write about in a quiet moment, and this certainly counts as a quiet moment in Scottish politics, so let’s do this one now.
Because the story above is from March, but we don’t think we’ve ever seen anyone anywhere talk about just how weird it is, or what it tells us about the 2024 SNP.
We’ve been off for a little break in the country, and as far as we can tell we’ve missed absolutely nothing in the moribund world of Scottish politics. We did, however, arrive back just in time for something mildly interesting, or at least revealing.
It’s the latest episode of a new podcast by veteran Scottish political journalist and broadcaster Bernard Ponsonby and jobbing opinion columnist Alex Massie, inventively titled The Ponsonby And Massie Podcast.
The first 35 minutes or so weren’t very noteworthy, other than the curious omission – when predicting the makeup of the next Scottish Government – of the idea of a Labour-SNP coalition, which to this site remains by far the most practical and logical outcome of the 2026 Holyrood election.
The 2005 election was the last time the Daily Record and the Scottish Sun both endorsed the same party at a UK general election. So, y’know, something is going on.
The Observer, for example, blamed the stat on “neo-Nazis”.
But even if that were true, it wouldn’t of course disprove the claim. A stopped clock is right twice a day, and something isn’t intrinsically false just because a neo-Nazi says it. Hitler had some pretty messed-up ideas but the world didn’t become flat just because he said it was round.
The video below, which we just found today, is taken from a promo by the American news channel CNN in 2017. It’s deeply ironic now, because CNN has been thoroughly captured by gender ideology. But it’s the reason Wings Over Scotland won’t change what or how we write, even if it means we have to shut our doors.
The truth is everything. Non-negotiable. No matter what. It’s as simple as that.
Frank Gillougley on According As We Need Them: “And so it goes. Incestuous faux academics shall speak unto incestuous faux academics funded by us the hoi polloi. The…” Jul 13, 17:58
Dan on According As We Need Them: “Some did try to start electing decent ordinary individuals who weren’t the usual political clone dross, but youse weren’t interested,…” Jul 13, 17:53
Bill Fraser on According As We Need Them: “I am wondering if this organisations status as a charity could be challenged under the “Charity Test ” it certainly…” Jul 13, 17:51
Anthem on According As We Need Them: “Alba could make a lot of ground exposing these so called “charities “, on how much they cost the taxpayer,…” Jul 13, 17:51
Captain Caveman on Just Good Friends: ““They’rrrrre grrrrreat!” https://www.frostedflakes.us/tony-the-tiger” Jul 13, 17:27
Lorn on According As We Need Them: “The one thing about politicians that I have discovered in my life is that, male or female, black or white,…” Jul 13, 17:24
Hatey McHateface on Just Good Friends: “Norway’s support per capita for our fighting friends in Eastern Europe is the highest in the world. I guess that…” Jul 13, 17:23
Gaelstorm on According As We Need Them: “Surlely te issue is what were the actual questions in the survey?” Jul 13, 17:06
Craig on According As We Need Them: “I fuckin despise Scotland now and what it has become, of all nationalities to be born, I had to be…” Jul 13, 16:46
Colin Dawson on According As We Need Them: “I wonder how much of the Scottish budget gets spent on supposed “charities” that are almost entirely funded by the…” Jul 13, 16:32
Young Lochinvar on According As We Need Them: “Oh oh! That’ll be you reported to the Polis hurry feels division Rev.. Tell them they’ll never take you alive,…” Jul 13, 16:22
James on Just Good Friends: “You boys spooning again? How sweet.” Jul 13, 15:59
Aidan on Just Good Friends: “Large in size, small in intellect” Jul 13, 15:45
Captain Caveman on Just Good Friends: “@Aidan In the interests of fairness and balance, Aidan, Fatso is anything but “little”. The twat can barely squeeze into…” Jul 13, 15:23
Aidan on Just Good Friends: “If it’s such a cracking idea, why hasn’t the private owner of Grangemouth realised it?” Jul 13, 15:08
Confused on Just Good Friends: “The only relevant benchmark for Scotland’s ECONOMIC POTENTIAL is with our small nation peers, most of whom are in EFTA.…” Jul 13, 14:59
Aidan on Just Good Friends: “Yeah you don’t like people calling out your hysterical drivel do you little man” Jul 13, 14:56
Confused on Just Good Friends: “norway has relatively high oil prices for its citizens but this hides a number of things – the duty goes…” Jul 13, 14:52
Confused on Just Good Friends: “https://archive.ph/SMuis we go backwards, the “backward” nations go forwards. Nigeria also subsidises energy prices for its citizens.” Jul 13, 14:44
Confused on Just Good Friends: “https://archive.ph/p2Bsf why doesn’t england shut down its 5 oil refineries and just import the refined products from amsterdam. – doesn’t…” Jul 13, 14:38
James on Just Good Friends: “What an unending stream of pish. Away and lie in yer water.” Jul 13, 14:35
Aidan on Just Good Friends: “You mean apart from the aforementioned £200m? Scotland is a declining market for oil products, due to policy choices that…” Jul 13, 13:54
James on Just Good Friends: ““Aidan” That’s the whole point, prick, they can find money (our money) to save English refineries (a country with no…” Jul 13, 13:34
Aidan on Just Good Friends: “Who is “they”? The UK government who neither owned nor operated it?” Jul 13, 13:18
James on Just Good Friends: ““Aidan”; Fuck off ya Yoon bampot. They closed Grangemouth. There is no longer an oil refinery in Scotland.” Jul 13, 12:56
sarah on Just Good Friends: “War of the Worlds? It’s a guess as I’ve not read it.” Jul 13, 12:33
James Cheyne on Just Good Friends: “Alf Baird, While busy clearing out the house, I came across a book titled ,The White Country by David D…” Jul 13, 12:26
sarah on Just Good Friends: “@ agent x at 7.47 on 12th July “those links don’t work for me”. Sorry agent x, IT isn’t my…” Jul 13, 12:17
Captain Caveman on Just Good Friends: “@Aidan I’ve heard the expression “great oaks from small acorns” but this really does take the biscuit, good old…” Jul 13, 12:13