The National carried a strange article yesterday, apropos of seemingly nothing, about a Brussels-based political thinktank supposedly linked to the right-wing Prime Minister of Hungary, Viktor Orban. The piece actually originated on superwoke “fact-checking” site The Ferret a couple of days earlier, and professed to expose how the thinktank was “stoking Scotland’s culture war”.
Alert readers will already have pricked up their ears at this point, because “culture war” is a radical-left dogwhistle term used to obscure, belittle and dismiss groups (largely though not exclusively comprising left-wing feminists) fighting for the safeguarding of children and the protection of women’s and LGB rights.
As more horrific experiences from survivors of rape torture gangs surface from across the UK, we must focus not on knee-jerk political posturing but on the root cause that led to the failure of these children by our society.
Political inaction has now opened the door to inevitable political mileage, nurtured from stoking vengeance in a rightly-angered public. Those only interested in creating cultural conflicts no more support justice for survivors than those who allowed this abomination to fester by looking away or worse, covering up the problem.
For any functioning society, inflicting unimaginable pain on children on an alarming scale seems unimaginable. Yet, the evidence has been in front of us for years – so why has immediate action to ensure the safeguarding of children – and vulnerable adults – not been a pressing priority?
To be honest, readers, the peculiar events of yesterday continued to nag at us all day as every news broadcaster in Scotland and beyond leapt eagerly on the ludicrous non-story from the Herald On Sunday’s front page. (It was even the #2 item on BBC Radio Wales, inexplicably).
For such an absolute nothingball of scurrilous sub-gossip to so dominate the entire news media was just too strange to ignore. We cannot remember the last time a low-grade freelancer managed to sell the same story to FOUR major Scottish newspapers – who normally, remember, only want exclusives for their big front-page splashes – let alone a crummy opinion columnist (not even an actual news reporter) who’s only been back in journalism for five minutes after a 15-year break as a failed PR guru.
(Once they’d all run the shoddy hatchet piece, TV and radio then had all the excuse they needed to blare it across the airwaves. “Oh, it’s not us inflating and amplifying this garbage, guv, we’re just reporting what the papers are saying.”)
So in our eternal quest for enlightenment and understanding we thought we’d see if we could find out a bit more about the little-known but recently-revived sleeper assassin with the ironic name: Carlos Alba.
Alex Salmond will be laid to rest in the green turf of Aberdeenshire today in a quiet and dignified private ceremony. (A public celebration of his life will take place next month.)
Most of Scotland’s press and commentariat beclowned itself shamefully after his death just as it did during his life, but below is a (regrettably short) collection of those who did otherwise and who deserve to be noted honourably beside the man himself.
Wherever you find giants, you also find parasites, bottom-feeders and carrion. When a mighty lion dies in the jungle, tiny creeping crawling maggots and insects and bacteria feast gleefully on its corpse for many days.
Which naturally brings us to the Scottish media.
The above paragraphs of cowardly innuendo and baseless speculative smearing were penned by Severin Carrell and Libby Brooks in the Guardian on Monday. (They’re not from the ironically-headed “Appreciation” that the same two hacks wrote for Sunday’s Observer, in which they audaciously claimed that Salmond’s success was down to Nicola Sturgeon).
They sneakily imply that Salmond was guilty not only of the sexual assaults of which he was cleared in court, but also of an unspecified number of unnamed others, and make assertions of “disturbing evidence about his personal conduct” without specifying what that evidence or conduct might have been.
We’ve just watched the BBC’s new documentary, and we’re confused.
You can see both episodes on iPlayer now, or on TV tonight and tomorrow, but there’s no mistaking what’s being advertised – a personal drama between the two biggest players in Scottish politics in the last 300 years.
In many ways, the fabricated, hysterical furore of Humza Yousaf Vs Elon Musk is the ultimate in summer-silly-season politics stories.
Absurdly plainly, the former First Minister ISN’T going to take any legal action against the billionaire owner of Twitter. He only likes bullying small nurseries, and even then he doesn’t follow through. He didn’t even sue us for calling him racist a few months ago, so there’s zero chance he’s going to square up to the world’s richest man.
Every now and again you’ll go to clean them up and find something that you’ve been meaning to write about in a quiet moment, and this certainly counts as a quiet moment in Scottish politics, so let’s do this one now.
Because the story above is from March, but we don’t think we’ve ever seen anyone anywhere talk about just how weird it is, or what it tells us about the 2024 SNP.
We’ve been off for a little break in the country, and as far as we can tell we’ve missed absolutely nothing in the moribund world of Scottish politics. We did, however, arrive back just in time for something mildly interesting, or at least revealing.
It’s the latest episode of a new podcast by veteran Scottish political journalist and broadcaster Bernard Ponsonby and jobbing opinion columnist Alex Massie, inventively titled The Ponsonby And Massie Podcast.
The first 35 minutes or so weren’t very noteworthy, other than the curious omission – when predicting the makeup of the next Scottish Government – of the idea of a Labour-SNP coalition, which to this site remains by far the most practical and logical outcome of the 2026 Holyrood election.
The 2005 election was the last time the Daily Record and the Scottish Sun both endorsed the same party at a UK general election. So, y’know, something is going on.
Willie on Failure To Learn: “Dumbarton Rock @11.19pm. A good letter in the waiting to send to the Minister who is responsible for the outrage…” Jan 6, 08:14
Young Lochinvar on Failure To Learn: “Day zero? Would that not be the incumbent Unionist parties at that point in time? Love a bit of unearned…” Jan 6, 05:02
Young Lochinvar on And every day was exactly the same: “Wilma Flintstone @ 6.32 Oh dear! Not so young “unrequited love”.. Have you tw8ts not worked out that your idols,…” Jan 6, 04:47
Peter McAvoy on Failure To Learn: “Regarding anthems I believe that Flower of Scotland was inspired by the Battle of Bannockburn.Then what inspired the Star Spangled…” Jan 6, 02:46
Willie on Failure To Learn: “The creation of an additional bank holiday is not in the gift of the SNP. They do not have the…” Jan 6, 02:12
BLMac on Failure To Learn: “The problem with Scottish fitba is the real men play shinty… 🙂” Jan 5, 23:25
Independent on Failure To Learn: “Just a couple of thoughts from a long time reader/ lurker. Why not a party solely set up to recreate…” Jan 5, 23:22
Dumbarton Rock on Failure To Learn: “We await a decision by Scottish Ministers . Here’s a letter to send to Ivan McKee – send to MinisterPF@gov.scot…” Jan 5, 23:19
Campbell Clansman on Failure To Learn: “How much will it cost (in lost work, tax revenue, etc.) to have this “holiday?” Millions?” Jan 5, 22:15
Scot Finlayson on Failure To Learn: “In 78 Peru were the Copa América cup holders, having beaten Brazil on the way to the final, and beating…” Jan 5, 22:03
Ross on Failure To Learn: “Or they just think it’s a nice idea to signal giving ordinary Scots a day off for the day after…” Jan 5, 21:35
100%Yes on Failure To Learn: “The SNP don’t even mean it. Its a political stunt, all in bad taste, for a party who’s done nothing…” Jan 5, 21:11
Alf Baird on Failure To Learn: ““England is also a non-sovereign state.” Naw, yer wrang thair: England’s parliament was never dissolved in 1707, it continued. England…” Jan 5, 20:56
agentx on Failure To Learn: “A Bank Holiday = a sobering up holiday in Scotland.” Jan 5, 20:52
100%Yes on Failure To Learn: “I was just wondering what is the real state of affairs in the SNP with regards to money and support,…” Jan 5, 20:35
Hatey McHateface on Failure To Learn: “Boycott by who? If President Trump gets oil below $60 permanently, hundreds of millions of people all around the world…” Jan 5, 20:03
Hatey McHateface on Failure To Learn: ““Maybe if we win the World Cup the UN will gie us membership, or at least confirm our Listing for…” Jan 5, 19:55
factchecker on Failure To Learn: “Wrong, Professor. By the same definition, England is also a non-sovereign state. Neither is a colony, according to the UN.” Jan 5, 19:48
David Holden on Failure To Learn: “No need to worry about bank holidays etc because if Trump makes good on his intent to take over Greenland…” Jan 5, 19:48
Hatey McHateface on Failure To Learn: “Wasn’t it “reduced to infantile gimmickry & giveaways” on Day Zero when they all voted themselves medals? Plenty of people…” Jan 5, 19:43
Hatey McHateface on And every day was exactly the same: “Nice one, YL. My 6 YO grandson could never have thought of your “It wisnae me, it wis you” reply.…” Jan 5, 19:38
Alf Baird on Failure To Learn: “Yes, Flower of Scotland is a dirge, a lament, but a lament accurately reflects the grief of our colonial reality,…” Jan 5, 19:30
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “Came across this depraved Glaswegian filth yeterday: www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlrUzAmKO1Y Enjoy!” Jan 5, 19:08
100%Yes on Failure To Learn: “Didn’t the owners of Flamingo land donate money to the Tory’s and now reform. I like the song as it…” Jan 5, 18:53
Captain Caveman on And every day was exactly the same: “@Andy Ellis “So you think the only thing that’s relevant is population density? Um, no, not at all? You? Do…” Jan 5, 18:32
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The Gulf War: “Don’t be silly. If you can’t be arsed to vote, you accept either outcome.” Jan 5, 18:27
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Failure To Learn: “To be fair, he actually said “Loch Lomond”.” Jan 5, 18:25
Young Lochinvar on And every day was exactly the same: “H McH @ 9.32 Well, obviously, that would be you. Have lost count of how many contributors here have caught…” Jan 5, 18:15
twathater on And every day was exactly the same: “@ David Holden , OMG you have hit on a very touchy subject David , the Franchise Fanny actually had…” Jan 5, 18:11