The National carried a strange article yesterday, apropos of seemingly nothing, about a Brussels-based political thinktank supposedly linked to the right-wing Prime Minister of Hungary, Viktor Orban. The piece actually originated on superwoke “fact-checking” site The Ferret a couple of days earlier, and professed to expose how the thinktank was “stoking Scotland’s culture war”.
Alert readers will already have pricked up their ears at this point, because “culture war” is a radical-left dogwhistle term used to obscure, belittle and dismiss groups (largely though not exclusively comprising left-wing feminists) fighting for the safeguarding of children and the protection of women’s and LGB rights.
As more horrific experiences from survivors of rape torture gangs surface from across the UK, we must focus not on knee-jerk political posturing but on the root cause that led to the failure of these children by our society.
Political inaction has now opened the door to inevitable political mileage, nurtured from stoking vengeance in a rightly-angered public. Those only interested in creating cultural conflicts no more support justice for survivors than those who allowed this abomination to fester by looking away or worse, covering up the problem.
For any functioning society, inflicting unimaginable pain on children on an alarming scale seems unimaginable. Yet, the evidence has been in front of us for years – so why has immediate action to ensure the safeguarding of children – and vulnerable adults – not been a pressing priority?
To be honest, readers, the peculiar events of yesterday continued to nag at us all day as every news broadcaster in Scotland and beyond leapt eagerly on the ludicrous non-story from the Herald On Sunday’s front page. (It was even the #2 item on BBC Radio Wales, inexplicably).
For such an absolute nothingball of scurrilous sub-gossip to so dominate the entire news media was just too strange to ignore. We cannot remember the last time a low-grade freelancer managed to sell the same story to FOUR major Scottish newspapers – who normally, remember, only want exclusives for their big front-page splashes – let alone a crummy opinion columnist (not even an actual news reporter) who’s only been back in journalism for five minutes after a 15-year break as a failed PR guru.
(Once they’d all run the shoddy hatchet piece, TV and radio then had all the excuse they needed to blare it across the airwaves. “Oh, it’s not us inflating and amplifying this garbage, guv, we’re just reporting what the papers are saying.”)
So in our eternal quest for enlightenment and understanding we thought we’d see if we could find out a bit more about the little-known but recently-revived sleeper assassin with the ironic name: Carlos Alba.
Alex Salmond will be laid to rest in the green turf of Aberdeenshire today in a quiet and dignified private ceremony. (A public celebration of his life will take place next month.)
Most of Scotland’s press and commentariat beclowned itself shamefully after his death just as it did during his life, but below is a (regrettably short) collection of those who did otherwise and who deserve to be noted honourably beside the man himself.
Wherever you find giants, you also find parasites, bottom-feeders and carrion. When a mighty lion dies in the jungle, tiny creeping crawling maggots and insects and bacteria feast gleefully on its corpse for many days.
Which naturally brings us to the Scottish media.
The above paragraphs of cowardly innuendo and baseless speculative smearing were penned by Severin Carrell and Libby Brooks in the Guardian on Monday. (They’re not from the ironically-headed “Appreciation” that the same two hacks wrote for Sunday’s Observer, in which they audaciously claimed that Salmond’s success was down to Nicola Sturgeon).
They sneakily imply that Salmond was guilty not only of the sexual assaults of which he was cleared in court, but also of an unspecified number of unnamed others, and make assertions of “disturbing evidence about his personal conduct” without specifying what that evidence or conduct might have been.
We’ve just watched the BBC’s new documentary, and we’re confused.
You can see both episodes on iPlayer now, or on TV tonight and tomorrow, but there’s no mistaking what’s being advertised – a personal drama between the two biggest players in Scottish politics in the last 300 years.
In many ways, the fabricated, hysterical furore of Humza Yousaf Vs Elon Musk is the ultimate in summer-silly-season politics stories.
Absurdly plainly, the former First Minister ISN’T going to take any legal action against the billionaire owner of Twitter. He only likes bullying small nurseries, and even then he doesn’t follow through. He didn’t even sue us for calling him racist a few months ago, so there’s zero chance he’s going to square up to the world’s richest man.
Every now and again you’ll go to clean them up and find something that you’ve been meaning to write about in a quiet moment, and this certainly counts as a quiet moment in Scottish politics, so let’s do this one now.
Because the story above is from March, but we don’t think we’ve ever seen anyone anywhere talk about just how weird it is, or what it tells us about the 2024 SNP.
We’ve been off for a little break in the country, and as far as we can tell we’ve missed absolutely nothing in the moribund world of Scottish politics. We did, however, arrive back just in time for something mildly interesting, or at least revealing.
It’s the latest episode of a new podcast by veteran Scottish political journalist and broadcaster Bernard Ponsonby and jobbing opinion columnist Alex Massie, inventively titled The Ponsonby And Massie Podcast.
The first 35 minutes or so weren’t very noteworthy, other than the curious omission – when predicting the makeup of the next Scottish Government – of the idea of a Labour-SNP coalition, which to this site remains by far the most practical and logical outcome of the 2026 Holyrood election.
The 2005 election was the last time the Daily Record and the Scottish Sun both endorsed the same party at a UK general election. So, y’know, something is going on.
sog on The Valley Of The Dolls: “I got as far as the ‘Assigned male at birth’ bollocks, and gave up. Anyone quoting that should be fired,…” Dec 9, 23:24
Lorncal on The Valley Of The Dolls: “If you do, those spaces become mixed sex spaces, not single sex spaces. Would you allow women who have had…” Dec 9, 23:08
Lorncal on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Because, Kate, we let them get away with the “stunning and brave” bulls**t instead of calling them out as that…” Dec 9, 23:00
sarah on Off-topic: “NHS dentist, Tinto? No chance, I’m afraid. Though it sounds as if we have been let off lightly compared with…” Dec 9, 22:16
Lorncal on The Valley Of The Dolls: ““… The argument was essentially of a man using the façade of gender reassignment for improper purposes, including for sexual…” Dec 9, 21:55
McDuff on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Congratulations rev on another powerful article.” Dec 9, 21:27
Jay on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Sarah: Agreed that Rev Stu has conducted a masterly exercise of demolishing the position taken by the Tribunal, a wonderful…” Dec 9, 21:16
Tracey on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Thanks for this. Excellently written and explained. I am glad I am already subscribed. You are worth it!” Dec 9, 21:06
sarah on The Valley Of The Dolls: “You missed your calling, Rev. You could have been a senior judge in Scotland or England. There was a wonderful…” Dec 9, 19:29
Hatey McHateface on The Valley Of The Dolls: “As always, a masterful analysis from Scotland’s greatest living journalist. Just one tiny quibble: “It’s not often you see a…” Dec 9, 19:24
Hatey McHateface on The Valley Of The Dolls: “They’re aiming for the institutionalized watering down of women’s rights. It’s a war. The trannies are the leading shock troops…” Dec 9, 19:21
Kate L on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Thank you for this breakdown, even though it may lead to a breakdown of my own. This is legitimately bonkers.…” Dec 9, 19:20
agentx on The Valley Of The Dolls: “There will be an appeal from both sides and the decision will go to the higher courts. But please note…” Dec 9, 19:18
diabloandco on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Excellent idea! The whole thing is stratospherically ridiculous.” Dec 9, 19:17
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “Forgot to mention that thoughts of Gruinard Bay and its seals always make me think of the incomparable Julie and…” Dec 9, 19:10
diabloandco on The Long Walk To Freedom: “I think I must have met that man in Edinburgh one lovely sunny afternoon in the gardens when a great…” Dec 9, 19:07
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “I don’t give up, Sarah, I adapt 🙂 . Despite the best efforts of the security services, the Edinburgh Proclamation…” Dec 9, 18:59
Hatey McHateface on The Long Walk To Freedom: “Ah, the fragrant James has dragged himself once again, out from under his stone. You can choose to believe that…” Dec 9, 18:51
Craig on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Any chance for a copy of THAT dogs breakfast to be sent to the Supreme Court judges so they may…” Dec 9, 18:46
twathater on The Valley Of The Dolls: “I would believe that judges decision had been made at the start of the tribunal , anyone who uses the…” Dec 9, 18:32
100%Yes on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Trying to fit a square into a circle is never going to work. I’m afraid the SNP and the Greens…” Dec 9, 18:07
Iain More on The Valley Of The Dolls: “It is a toxic world for any white heterosexual males and females.” Dec 9, 18:04
Vronsky on The Valley Of The Dolls: “It’s too easy to point out the madness, we need to understand that to your average politician this apparent silliness…” Dec 9, 17:57
panda paws on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Indeed it isn’t. It is illegal for someone who in an official capacity knows another person has a GRC to…” Dec 9, 17:44
Colin Dawson on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Given the avalanche of litigation that is likely to result from the Scottish Government’s allegedly unlawful gender self-ID policies over…” Dec 9, 17:40
Jill on The Valley Of The Dolls: “English women here who follows you for your reporting on this issue. A huge thank you again for your time…” Dec 9, 17:25
