The National carried a strange article yesterday, apropos of seemingly nothing, about a Brussels-based political thinktank supposedly linked to the right-wing Prime Minister of Hungary, Viktor Orban. The piece actually originated on superwoke “fact-checking” site The Ferret a couple of days earlier, and professed to expose how the thinktank was “stoking Scotland’s culture war”.
Alert readers will already have pricked up their ears at this point, because “culture war” is a radical-left dogwhistle term used to obscure, belittle and dismiss groups (largely though not exclusively comprising left-wing feminists) fighting for the safeguarding of children and the protection of women’s and LGB rights.
As more horrific experiences from survivors of rape torture gangs surface from across the UK, we must focus not on knee-jerk political posturing but on the root cause that led to the failure of these children by our society.
Political inaction has now opened the door to inevitable political mileage, nurtured from stoking vengeance in a rightly-angered public. Those only interested in creating cultural conflicts no more support justice for survivors than those who allowed this abomination to fester by looking away or worse, covering up the problem.
For any functioning society, inflicting unimaginable pain on children on an alarming scale seems unimaginable. Yet, the evidence has been in front of us for years – so why has immediate action to ensure the safeguarding of children – and vulnerable adults – not been a pressing priority?
To be honest, readers, the peculiar events of yesterday continued to nag at us all day as every news broadcaster in Scotland and beyond leapt eagerly on the ludicrous non-story from the Herald On Sunday’s front page. (It was even the #2 item on BBC Radio Wales, inexplicably).
For such an absolute nothingball of scurrilous sub-gossip to so dominate the entire news media was just too strange to ignore. We cannot remember the last time a low-grade freelancer managed to sell the same story to FOUR major Scottish newspapers – who normally, remember, only want exclusives for their big front-page splashes – let alone a crummy opinion columnist (not even an actual news reporter) who’s only been back in journalism for five minutes after a 15-year break as a failed PR guru.
(Once they’d all run the shoddy hatchet piece, TV and radio then had all the excuse they needed to blare it across the airwaves. “Oh, it’s not us inflating and amplifying this garbage, guv, we’re just reporting what the papers are saying.”)
So in our eternal quest for enlightenment and understanding we thought we’d see if we could find out a bit more about the little-known but recently-revived sleeper assassin with the ironic name: Carlos Alba.
Alex Salmond will be laid to rest in the green turf of Aberdeenshire today in a quiet and dignified private ceremony. (A public celebration of his life will take place next month.)
Most of Scotland’s press and commentariat beclowned itself shamefully after his death just as it did during his life, but below is a (regrettably short) collection of those who did otherwise and who deserve to be noted honourably beside the man himself.
Wherever you find giants, you also find parasites, bottom-feeders and carrion. When a mighty lion dies in the jungle, tiny creeping crawling maggots and insects and bacteria feast gleefully on its corpse for many days.
Which naturally brings us to the Scottish media.
The above paragraphs of cowardly innuendo and baseless speculative smearing were penned by Severin Carrell and Libby Brooks in the Guardian on Monday. (They’re not from the ironically-headed “Appreciation” that the same two hacks wrote for Sunday’s Observer, in which they audaciously claimed that Salmond’s success was down to Nicola Sturgeon).
They sneakily imply that Salmond was guilty not only of the sexual assaults of which he was cleared in court, but also of an unspecified number of unnamed others, and make assertions of “disturbing evidence about his personal conduct” without specifying what that evidence or conduct might have been.
We’ve just watched the BBC’s new documentary, and we’re confused.
You can see both episodes on iPlayer now, or on TV tonight and tomorrow, but there’s no mistaking what’s being advertised – a personal drama between the two biggest players in Scottish politics in the last 300 years.
In many ways, the fabricated, hysterical furore of Humza Yousaf Vs Elon Musk is the ultimate in summer-silly-season politics stories.
Absurdly plainly, the former First Minister ISN’T going to take any legal action against the billionaire owner of Twitter. He only likes bullying small nurseries, and even then he doesn’t follow through. He didn’t even sue us for calling him racist a few months ago, so there’s zero chance he’s going to square up to the world’s richest man.
Every now and again you’ll go to clean them up and find something that you’ve been meaning to write about in a quiet moment, and this certainly counts as a quiet moment in Scottish politics, so let’s do this one now.
Because the story above is from March, but we don’t think we’ve ever seen anyone anywhere talk about just how weird it is, or what it tells us about the 2024 SNP.
We’ve been off for a little break in the country, and as far as we can tell we’ve missed absolutely nothing in the moribund world of Scottish politics. We did, however, arrive back just in time for something mildly interesting, or at least revealing.
It’s the latest episode of a new podcast by veteran Scottish political journalist and broadcaster Bernard Ponsonby and jobbing opinion columnist Alex Massie, inventively titled The Ponsonby And Massie Podcast.
The first 35 minutes or so weren’t very noteworthy, other than the curious omission – when predicting the makeup of the next Scottish Government – of the idea of a Labour-SNP coalition, which to this site remains by far the most practical and logical outcome of the 2026 Holyrood election.
The 2005 election was the last time the Daily Record and the Scottish Sun both endorsed the same party at a UK general election. So, y’know, something is going on.
100%Yes on The Future Is Yesterday: “The SNP gave up on Scotland after the referendum. I just wished people would waken up before its to late…” Feb 18, 19:48
Effijy on The Future Is Yesterday: “It’s like 3 legged horses must have the right to enter the Scottish Grand National. If it can’t jump and…” Feb 18, 19:22
Hatey McHateface on The Future Is Yesterday: “Dunno why Stu has such a downer on Oor Fatima. I look at her and see future First Minister potential.…” Feb 18, 18:38
Hatey McHateface on Scotland In Numbers: ““For the arithmetically illiterate, professor Sullivan‘s percentages are not of mutually exclusive categories” Sez you! For the simply illiterate, perhaps…” Feb 18, 18:13
MaryB on The Future Is Yesterday: “Off topic but relevant. Inde car aka Gordon Ross reports that the UK government appears to have pulled the plug…” Feb 18, 18:10
100%Yes on The Future Is Yesterday: “So why not just vote Reform and be done with the SNP, sound good to me.” Feb 18, 17:37
Rob on The Future Is Yesterday: “I have always had a problem with the concept of “list” MSP’s. I don’t understand how a small group of…” Feb 18, 17:32
Cynicus on The Future Is Yesterday: ““Emma Roddick, currently a list MSP in Highland, is standing against Fergus Ewing for a constituency” ============ Vote Fergus Ewing…” Feb 18, 17:01
John on The Future Is Yesterday: “whatever is published by WoS, the short, stark truth remains simple: (i) despite a convincing and comprehensive track record of…” Feb 18, 16:16
Young Lochinvar on Scotland In Numbers: “Lorna HG Well’s “The Time Machine” appears to have accurately predicted the rise of the dissolute degenerate androgynous Eloi. Evolution;…” Feb 18, 16:12
Southernbystander on Scotland In Numbers: “This makes good sense, in theory. Did you ever see that programme where a Lincolnshire farmer was asked to employ…” Feb 18, 16:10
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Scotland In Numbers: “Lorna, I invariably read and appreciate your contributions. The perennial question in this instance would seem twofold: “Are there any…” Feb 18, 16:05
sarah on The Future Is Yesterday: “Is there a glimmer of hope that at least one of these troughers won’t get back? Emma Roddick, currently a…” Feb 18, 15:58
Cynicus on Scotland In Numbers: “Lorna Campbell says: 18 February, 2026 at 1:48 pm “It is Stalinism/totalitarianism” ========= You perfect analogy. Under Stalin, the charlatan…” Feb 18, 15:57
Young Lochinvar on The Future Is Yesterday: “I don’t believe for a second that “the independent” courts alone decided sneaky Pete’s hearing would be held back to…” Feb 18, 15:51
Skip_NC on The Future Is Yesterday: “But all that one of the court cases may do is make people not want to vote for them. They…” Feb 18, 15:34
P C Foster on Scotland In Numbers: “@ Lorna– I think that we need to recognize that Westminster prevented the GRA. Also nurses in England seem to…” Feb 18, 15:23
Cynicus on Scotland In Numbers: ““….women who support the SNP and are members of the SNP not up in arms about the SNP attitude toward…” Feb 18, 15:00
sarah on The Future Is Yesterday: “I forgot Alba – if they joined the Alliance umbrella, that would be even better.” Feb 18, 14:59
Aidan on The Longest Road: “Scotland is one of the wealthiest countries in the world, as I pointed out GDP per capita in Edinburgh is…” Feb 18, 14:54
sarah on The Future Is Yesterday: “Horrifying, appalling, sickening, terrifying, outrageous. What a dreadful level the SNP has fallen to. Alliance to Liberate Scotland is the…” Feb 18, 14:46
Terry on The Future Is Yesterday: “You’ve been right for years. Agreed. They need to go. But how? Apart from us not voting for them. I’m…” Feb 18, 14:44
David on The Future Is Yesterday: “The thought of Campbell getting in makes me boke.” Feb 18, 14:30
Lorna Campbell on Scotland In Numbers: “It is Stalinism/totalitarianism, Fearghas, and deliberately so pour encourager les autres. I think we really need to ask what is…” Feb 18, 13:48
Hatey McHateface on Scotland In Numbers: “I find the fact that Neil Armstrong could claim descent from Scottish Border Reiver ancestors on his father’s side is…” Feb 18, 13:43
Cynicus on Scotland In Numbers: “Cameron Lochiel says: 18 February, 2026 at 12:04 am “It’s about time we gave up and let the bees take…” Feb 18, 13:37
Hatey McHateface on Scotland In Numbers: “Spain has just granted citizenship to around one million illegals. Thus effectively unleashing them on all the other EU member…” Feb 18, 13:29
Hatey McHateface on Scotland In Numbers: ““58 per cent reported “self-censorship and chilling effects”, followed by “bullying, harassment and ostracism” at 42 per cent, and “barriers…” Feb 18, 13:22
Hatey McHateface on Scotland In Numbers: ““no real strategy to replace the migrant workforce” I suggest you type “how many UK citizens rely entirely on benefits”…” Feb 18, 13:17