Perhaps the single most striking feature of everyday non-constitutional Scottish politics is Labour’s constantly-recurring habit of highlighting some supposedly unsatisfactory statistic about the Scottish Government’s performance, only for it to be revealed that it’s vastly better than the comparable figure for Wales, where Labour has been in power ever since the Assembly was created in 1999.
So let’s crank up the machine again and see what it says, shall we?
It really takes some going to stand out for especially terrible journalism in the Scottish press this week, given the vast acres of page-space that are still being devoted to truly abysmal, and borderline legally-actionable, barrel-scraping articles about the recent allegations made against Alex Salmond. So hats off to perhaps the only man who could possibly have achieved it.
The Scottish media has really had to scrape the barrel to give a negative spin to some NHS stats today. The Herald, Daily Mail, Daily Record and Scotsman all feature a story concerning an increase in ambulance waiting times, noting that the number of callouts taking more than ten minutes has doubled in four years.
What they’re a lot more reluctant to reveal is that the reason for that is a deliberate policy change which has meant ambulances have been saving more people’s lives.
We’re just going to reprint this piece every year, because only the numbers change.
Today saw the publication of the 2017-18 GERS stats, which are once again triggering a convulsive orgy of “BLACK HOLE!” articles across the media as every Unionist in the land falls over themselves to portray their own country as a useless scrounging subsidy junkie without actually using the exact words “too wee, too poor, too stupid”.
And once again, everywhere you look there’s a “Proud Scot” screaming about how the figures destroy a case for independence that those same people have spent most of the current decade stridently insisting never existed in the first place.
The BBC front page headline for this is actually just the alarming-sounding “Scottish prescription costs rise by 25%”, without even the qualifier about the timespan.
Most of Scottish Twitter has been enjoying itself greatly for the last few hours after England’s exit from the World Cup, but scattered in amongst the amusing memes has been a fair amount of angst about victors Croatia – a nation of 4 million people – being in the final when Scotland once again failed to qualify.
And while we’ll more than happily listen to any amount of criticism of the unbelievably incompetent, hapless clowns who’ve been in charge of the SFA/SPL/SPFL for the last several decades, that judgement is a bit harsh on the players and coaches and the nation as a whole. Because there really hasn’t been much in it.
Scotland’s qualification for World Cup 2018 hinged and ultimately faltered on a split second and a single badly-chosen pass in stoppage time.
Yesterday we reported on the Sunday Herald’s bizarre and blatant reversal of the plain facts about OBFA prosecutions in its front-page lead. But it wasn’t the only paper pulling that trick this weekend.
The Sunday Times ran a major piece on results from a poll it conducted at the same time as our most recent one, spinning the outcome as voters rejecting the SNP’s plan to boost the Scottish economy via more immigration.
But as so many stories in the press do, the article simply disintegrated before readers’ eyes almost immediately after the headline.
One of the uglier facets of opposition to the hugely-popular but now-repealed Offensive Behaviour (Football) Act was the 100% uniform stance against it in the Scottish press. Despite the Act being backed by a large majority of voters across every demographic and political divide, not one print or broadcast journalist ever stood up for the public.
The reason, of course, is that bigots (and lurid stories about them) are a large part of what keeps the Scottish media’s life support machine functioning, and so the media panders cynically to the extremist sections of the Celtic and “Rangers” support who still buy papers for the latest transfer gossip and soft-soap interviews with ex-players.
And so it is with a remarkably mad front-page lead in today’s Sunday Herald.
The paper reports that “over half” – 44 out of 86 – outstanding OBFA charges have been “converted” into other types of offences and are still being prosecuted by the independent Crown Office, claiming without explanation that this is “an embarrassing move for the SNP Government”.
Political pundits on both sides on the border often marvel at how the SNP appear able to defy the normal rules of electoral gravity, still holding a comfortable double-digit lead in the polls after more than 11 years in power. But there’s no great mystery to it, and the answer is simple, in several senses of that word.
Ladies and gentlemen, allow us to present to you Scottish Labour’s offering for who’d be in charge of all the Scottish Government’s money if the SNP weren’t in power – finance spokesman James Kelly MSP.
The Sunday Times puts some poll results in an interesting frame today:
And readers who’ve learned anything at all from this site over the last six years will be looking at that tweet and immediately wondering “what AREN’T we being told there?”
Although this site is blacklisted by the press regulator IPSO and therefore unable to file complaints about inaccurate and misleading newspaper articles, our alert readers sometimes pick up the baton from Wings articles and do the job themselves.
But the reader who took up that complaint has furnished us with a bit of interesting background to the story, and also news of a rather more alarming outcome.
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I’ll throw the question open to you too, Northy. Any ideas for May? Anything that will set the heather alight…” Feb 27, 19:19
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Its you that’s delusional, as per usual. This news just in – No one likes the Unelected leaders at the…” Feb 27, 19:15
Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “‘When I was a child I thought like a child, I spoke like a I reasoned like a child……” Corinthians…” Feb 27, 19:12
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “The Green people who want to end mass air travel are greetin that people can’t afford holidays. The Green people…” Feb 27, 19:11
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Wow, Geri. From zero to posting pedo accusations within 24 hours. Promise us you’ll never change. Xxx” Feb 27, 18:59
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “It won’t be changing with London based stooges that’s for sure. The nawbags have far too much to lose. Say…” Feb 27, 17:43
Andy Ellis on The Tactics Of Suicide: “@Geri More delusional nonsense Geri: colour us unsurprised. Ordinary Scottish voters will still troop to the polls in May and…” Feb 27, 17:42
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “A new world order is coming. Englandshire is a pariah. It won’t make a seat at the next International organisation…” Feb 27, 17:13
Stevie on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I haven’t anything valuable to add other than, the SNP is the enemy of Scotland and Scottish culture – Reform…” Feb 27, 17:11
Mark Beggan on The Tactics Of Suicide: “It’s official Muslims love homosexuals and Transgender ideology. That’s progressive politik in motion. The Green revolution.” Feb 27, 17:03
Andy Ellis on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Doubtless many “politically homeless” Scottish independence supporters – whether native born or vile New Scots colonialists so reviled by the…” Feb 27, 17:01
Northcode on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Aye, Alf… thon yin maun hae mair coorags an curnies and ither fyngers oan ane haun than maist fowk hae…” Feb 27, 17:00
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “‘Hoo’s the F16s these days? Tires worn oot frae all the taxiing aboot?’ I’ve forgot nothing. They’re not off the…” Feb 27, 16:49
Iain More on The Tactics Of Suicide: “MRP Predictions – I just dont believe it. Greens winning a by-election on Trumps aircraft carrier the USS England will…” Feb 27, 16:38
Young Lochinvar on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Horton and Denton by election. Green Party leader Zak Polanski told news reporters that “there aren’t any no- go areas”…” Feb 27, 15:54
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Give it up, Shiteface. Nothing, & I mean NOTHING, trumps the Eppy files & the people behind all of it.…” Feb 27, 15:48
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Quantity AND quality, Alf. Big Scottish election coming up in May. Will set the path for Scotland’s governance for the…” Feb 27, 15:36
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: ““make the declaration of Arbroath a modern reality, without death” Just so long as we can still totally destroy the…” Feb 27, 15:30
Alf Baird on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Jings, 25 oot o 85 commends here fae yer guid sel sae faur, Hatey ower Scotlan. Yer daein awfu weel,…” Feb 27, 15:22
Young Lochinvar on The Tactics Of Suicide: “I see Churchill’s statue in Lahndun (variously described back in the day as either looking like a turtle or Mussolini-…” Feb 27, 15:03
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Game on AND game over, Geri. Michty! Hoo’s the F16s these days? Tires worn oot frae all the taxiing aboot?…” Feb 27, 14:46
Cynicus on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Geri says: 27 February, 2026 at 2:10 pm A. I am glad we can agree that. But surely you are…” Feb 27, 14:43
Jamie on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Reform are going to do well in both elections with or without Scottish Patriot support. The time is now to…” Feb 27, 14:40
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: ““STOAP”, Northy. If you want to write colloquially, you have to be prepared to adjust the spelling so that readers…” Feb 27, 14:14
Geri on The Tactics Of Suicide: “A. Its a Republic. Another would take over. Haven’t the neocons learnt that by now? Even if TACO doesn’t reverse.…” Feb 27, 14:10
Hatey McHateface on The Tactics Of Suicide: “A return to true form from Confused. Say what you like about the Jews, but they don’t drive cars into…” Feb 27, 14:01
Northcode on The Tactics Of Suicide: “Every time… NOO, adv. Also nou, nu (Abd. 1829 A. Cruickshank Poems 34; Sh. 1914 Angus Gl.). Gen. (exc. s.)…” Feb 27, 13:54
Northcode on The Tactics Of Suicide: ““I don’t like to mention it, Northy…” Then why mention it… ye prick (I don’t think of you as a…” Feb 27, 13:47