When we suggested yesterday that the SNP was turning into New Labour, we didn’t expect them to go to quite so much trouble to provide us with a timely illustration.
In happier times, almost seven years ago, a united and focused Yes movement had a bit of fun at the expense of Labour MP Ian Murray when he had a huge pearl-clutching fainting fit over someone putting a couple of stickers on his constituency office.
The SNP has of course denied them, but they also denied our recent leak from the party’s draft manifesto and we know for sure that that was real. The trouble with lying all the time is that nobody believes you even if you occasionally tell the the truth.
Of course, there would be an easy way to prove the numbers were a fake – release the real ones, which is in any case the most fundamental element of transparency in a democratic election. And whatever they are could hardly be any more embarrassing than the rumours, which have candidates topping the list (and likely to get seats) on a shocking 2.4% of the vote.
It brings us genuinely no pleasure at all to report that events in Scottish politics are panning out exactly the way we’ve been telling you they would for nearly two years.
There’s a strange new affliction affecting the SNP: fear of figures.
Now, we should say that we don’t believe for even a second that the SNP has actually had 10,000 new members in the last two days. It’s ridiculous to the point of insulting. But purely for the sake of argument, let’s imagine it was true.
Finally, after an astonishing four and a half days of “counting”, the SNP have released their candidate rankings for the regional list in this year’s Holyrood election. We’ll give you the results first, and then something much more interesting.
Like an old man getting up for the fourth time in the middle of the night, the Scottish Government has squeezed out another little dribble of its legal advice in respect of the conduct of its shambolic investigation into false allegations against Alex Salmond.
And to push that gross analogy to its outermost limit, it must have found releasing one of the documents in particular as painful as passing a rather large kidney stone.
What puzzles many about the Alex Salmond situation is motive. It’s incredibly difficult for some Yes supporters to imagine any motive that could justify the awfulness of what Alex Salmond has been put through by his successor, and so they reject the whole idea of any sinister goings-on out of hand.
However, it’s far easier to understand what went on when you look at the personality of Nicola Sturgeon and her historical pattern of behaviour.
Because the core fact is that Sturgeon simply cannot bear to lose. She’s very single-minded, and doesn’t really adapt or regroup in the face of adversity. When events and new information make problems for her ideas and plans, she just keeps going – often creating more problems as she tries to force the plan back on track.
Sturgeon’s main priority – in common with most politicians – is to stay in power and to boost her own image and profile. We can look at some hot topics and her behaviour around them, and gain clear insights into what happened to Alex Salmond and why.
We thought readers might like a look at the draft SNP manifesto introduction (written, we hear, by Mike Russell) that’s currently being passed around branches for comment.
Having once been a Scottish Labour MEP, I joined the SNP 10 years ago because I believed we needed the party to secure independence. I was warmly received by local and national members including Alex Salmond.
I became an active member in Edinburgh West and represented them at conference, became a member of the National Council and almost became the MP for Kilmarnock, losing narrowly to Alan Brown (now the MP) in the selection.
(I was incidentally almost blocked from running because I wasn’t “sufficiently loyal”. I was allowed to stand on appeal because Kenny MacAskill on the appeal panel said, “Well Hugh if you don’t agree with a vote in Parliament couldn’t you just go to the opera instead?” I agreed and was approved accordingly.)
My relations with the SNP have not admittedly always been plain sailing. I resigned once, when Nicola Sturgeon held up the front page of the Sun during the 2016 election after it tactically decided to back the SNP in Scotland (whilst supporting the Tories in England) because Murdoch always liked to back winners.
This raised serious questions about Nicola’s judgement and made me suspect she isn’t as smart as she thinks.
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Tory and Reform voters both think that, though.” May 4, 19:53
Aidan on Seven Days Too Long: “Yea see James is more like a drunk piss soaked homeless guy who keeps bothering people for change at a…” May 4, 19:09
100%Yes on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Reform will look after England its the SNP who ruined Scotland.” May 4, 19:07
100%Yes on Binfire Of The Vanities: “If the SNP and MFI hadn’t rigged humza to be leader of the SNP and Forbes had won and she…” May 4, 19:05
Young Lochinvar on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Beggars Aye very good bumpkin.. It’s being so cheerie that keeps ye going eh Adolf..” May 4, 18:56
Dan on Seven Days Too Long: “I see Aidan’s channelling his inner Gavin Williamson now. www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLr-jfbX0zM” May 4, 18:50
100%Yes on Binfire Of The Vanities: “I’ve no doubt Kelly’s eye will have a reason to debunk what’s being said.” May 4, 18:50
100%Yes on Binfire Of The Vanities: “The SNP has treated Scotland, its people and women with complete and utter contempt. Sturgeon was still banging on about…” May 4, 18:47
Captain Caveman on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Ah! What’s that Fatso, you looking down on the hardworking working classes again like McDonalds workers? Déjà vu! Brass neck…” May 4, 18:43
Ross on Binfire Of The Vanities: “The combined snp labour vote on the same basis plus Greens dwarves the point you’re making Plus some pro indy…” May 4, 18:37
agentx on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““National identity The percentage of people who said Scottish was their only national identity increased since the previous census (from…” May 4, 18:02
Mark Beggan on Binfire Of The Vanities: “There’s many reasons for not voting and one of these could be what is happening outside Scotland. The geopolitical situation…” May 4, 17:52
Young Lochinvar on Seven Days Too Long: “Geri @ 1.34 She doesn’t have the self awareness for that, that’s quite clear in her comments about Salmond. Classic…” May 4, 17:42
sarah on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Well, at least they were honest – unlike the leadership. But it is hugely worrying. It is a bit like…” May 4, 17:39
agentx on Seven Days Too Long: “It seems to a forgone conclusion that the SNP will win the election. I hope to God that no channel…” May 4, 17:31
agentx on Seven Days Too Long: ““Cynicus says: 4 May, 2026 at 2:21 pm agentx That tells us nothing. For all we know you could be…” May 4, 17:21
Captain Caveman on Seven Days Too Long: “Two names better than two (eight?) chins.” May 4, 17:14
GM on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Bang on MR B. ..and in putting party first the activists hand money and status to the SNP elite and…” May 4, 17:14
Nicky T Naquetti on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Slightly off-topic – but if you haven’t seen the amazing campaign advert by that Sarwar guy for Labour, you’re really…” May 4, 17:11
agentx on Seven Days Too Long: ““People seem to have forgiven (forgotten) campervangate?” ——————————————————— Probably because the hearing date was conveniently moved until after the election.” May 4, 17:10
Captain Caveman on Binfire Of The Vanities: “People have had enough of the Left and all that it entails. Who can blame them? The Scots are hardly…” May 4, 17:10
James on Seven Days Too Long: “You’re posting under 2 names now?” May 4, 17:08
Young Lochinvar on Seven Days Too Long: “Beggars Why, did it affect your Benefits Adolf – “old boy”?” May 4, 16:59
Alf Baird on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““For a country that prides itself on hating the Tories, this is very odd.” Aye, by the mid-1990’s Scots had…” May 4, 16:53
Mr Boyce N Franks on Binfire Of The Vanities: “I went to the recent indy march in Edinburgh and questioned the SNP at their stand. I said that their…” May 4, 16:42
ALANM on Binfire Of The Vanities: “The basic error contained in this analysis is that tory and reform votes are interchangeable when the truth is much…” May 4, 16:32