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Before the storm 394

Posted on March 29, 2023 by

To be honest, Humza Yousaf’s new Cabinet satirises itself – everyone’s picking on the absurdity of noted idiot Shona Robison becoming Finance Secretary but the funniest is surely omnifailure Shirley-Anne Somerville as Trans Rights – sorry, “Social Justice” Secretary – so rather than waste our breath on it today we’re going to catch up on some results from our latest Panelbase poll that we haven’t managed to squeeze in amid the mayhem of the last couple of weeks.

They tell us some interesting things about the Scotland the new FM now leads.

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Better living through higher prices 331

Posted on March 28, 2023 by

Well, we’re off to a flying start.

This is certainly what the public want. So let’s see his plans.

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The beginning of the end 361

Posted on March 27, 2023 by

The beam on Kate Forbes’ face was quite something.

She’d clearly been exhausted by the contest some time ago, and must have been dreading winning and having to continue fighting the assault from within her own party. Her evident delight and relief at her own failure was a revealing moment.

The great unknown in this election was just who the SNP membership was. No poll could tell us, and with over 50,000 people having quit the party in the last three years, nobody knew who was left. But we know now: idiots.

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Empty Space 204

Posted on March 25, 2023 by

Humza’s Sneaky Peek 85

Posted on March 24, 2023 by

Wait what now?


And how would he know that, exactly?

Spinning the wheel 439

Posted on March 22, 2023 by

We’ve been thinking about it since last night, and we’re not sure if Humza Yousaf now still has ANY of the policies he started the leadership election with.

But this one‘s got us extra-specially perplexed, since at the start it was pretty much the main unique selling point he was hanging his whole campaign on.

Maybe you can help us out, readers.

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Fantasy Island 202

Posted on March 21, 2023 by

We can’t even satirise this stuff.

We might have a day off.

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The Final Insult 183

Posted on March 20, 2023 by

According to SNP President and acting CEO Mike Russell, SNP members are too thick to understand the concept of changing their vote, and integrity is “disruptive”.

We’re not very clear on why a revote would be susceptible to “hacking” in any way that the original vote isn’t, but we’re sure there’s a great explanation.

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The Casting Vote 150

Posted on March 20, 2023 by

There can surely be no credible disputing that the SNP leadership election – and therefore that of Scotland’s next First Minister – is, to put it very mildly, under a cloud.

The list of let’s call them “irregularities” is almost endless. The artificial truncation of the contest, against the SNP constitution; the packing of the hustings with Humza Yousaf supporters; candidates being denied any knowledge about the size of the membership until voting was under way, and then the party’s press chief and CEO both resigning over lying about it; the apparent existence of 6000 more ballot papers than the party has members; one of the Scottish Government’s most senior officers being improperly seconded to the Yousaf campaign (and then also resigning as a result); numerous documented examples of non-members being given votes while fully-paid-up members weren’t; we could, frankly, go on and on.

As things stand, whoever wins will be forever tainted by the process – easy meat for the Unionist opposition in the Holyrood chamber and the media and a potential legal challenge could cause untold further damage to the party.

With six days still left for voting, the case for a reballot – an administratively fairly trivial task in an election being conducted almost entirely online – is now unanswerable, and needn’t even involve a delay.

Only one person stands in the way.

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Cleaning the stables 114

Posted on March 19, 2023 by

So we were a couple of days early on this one.

In fairness to the Scottish press, it’s had a lot of stuff to fit in recently.

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Quiet Times For Scotland 56

Posted on March 19, 2023 by

You might think that Scottish political journalists would all be in a shark-like frenzy of excitement at the events of the last few days. But not over on The Guardian.

Apparently it’s all a bit too much for the delicate wee flowers.

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If you find that you just can’t trust them 266

Posted on March 18, 2023 by

We’ve just been leaked this footage, apparently taken by an alert traveller, of Nicola Sturgeon at Edinburgh Airport, reacting badly to receiving news that Peter Murrell has been “unavoidably detained” and won’t be making their rendezvous to Rio.

So what now, readers? What now?

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