Those are the words of David Cameron as he launched the Scottish Tories’ manifesto in front of a heavily-vetted invited audience in Glasgow yesterday. They make the pages of a couple of other papers, including the Guardian (which hides them even further down the page than the Sun does), but it’s only the Herald that picks up on their significance, leading its article with the unequivocal lines:
So, let’s just get this one straight, this morning’s English edition of The Sun – two parties with 316 seats are “stealing” an election from two parties with 309 seats?
Want us to walk you through that whole “counting” thing again?
Last night’s juxtaposition of somewhat contradictory front covers on the Herald and Scottish Daily Mail was modestly amusing, but nothing new. We pointed out weeks ago that papers on both the left and the right were – often on the same days – painting the SNP as hand-in-glove allies of either Labour or the Tories according to whatever suited their own agendas, and nothing’s changed in that respect.
But it’s interesting to take a look behind the headlines of the respective stories and see the degree to which the truth can be bent, exaggerated or in some cases simply made up from thin air.
The bald-eagle-looking chap toting the cerise tie in this clip of this morning’s Victoria Derbyshire show on the BBC News channel is Lord (Andrew) Adonis, a former Labour government minister under Tony Blair and Gordon Brown.
He also wrote the book “Five Days In May” about the latter’s unsuccessful attempt to form a coalition with the Liberal Democrats in 2010, despite having won almost 50 fewer seats than the Conservatives in that election. So he understands the process.
Lord Adonis does, in fairness, make a brief and half-hearted attempt at punting Jim Murphy’s “1924” line, but in the end he’s forced to concede (nudged along by Peter Riddell of the Institute for Government) that in fact the second-placed party forming the government is perfectly possible.
But the most remarkable thing happened at the end.
That, readers, is quite the admission. That’s a party which has utterly dominated UK politics in Scotland for six decades openly acknowledging that its entire campaign in the last three weeks will be based on railing against a complete fantasy.
The Daily Record gets up high on its outrage horse this morning with a front-page story titled “Double-crossed on devo”, echoing Jim Murphy’s claim of yesterday that the Tories’ manifesto pledge on “English votes for English laws” is a “betrayal” of the “Vow” signed by the three UK party leaders before the independence referendum.
Unsurprisingly, the Record gives rather less prominence to the news that the Vow isn’t worth the fake parchment it wasn’t written on than it did to repeatedly hyping it up and then proclaiming that it had already been delivered.
Last week we listened to a Radio Scotland phone-in debate on Trident, hosted very deftly by John Beattie, who managed to steer callers away from political points and keep the discussion on the merits or otherwise of the weapons system itself.
Sadly that didn’t dissuade the usual coterie of nutters/local councillors phoning in insisting that (a) North Korea would invade/blast Scotland off the face of the Earth the moment we let our guard down, and (b) Helensburgh would immediately revert to the Stone Age at the loss of jobs were the few hundred Trident sailors who spend about a week every year in the town to be reassigned to other posts in the navy.
We didn’t have time to ring in ourselves, but we did manage to think of a much better idea that solved both of those problems without lumbering Scotland with a gigantic nuclear white elephant, and one that would also free up an awful lot of valuable police time and resources that are currently spent arresting a bunch of hippies.
We try to avoid openly editorialising on this site, readers. While unashamedly partisan in our leanings, as a rule we prefer to present the facts and let people come to their own conclusions from the evidence.
But we’re not sure we’ve ever seen anything more craven and pathetic than this.
Northcode on Believers In The Ruins: “Here’s another observation following on from my last comment that folk might find interesting… or not. A resonance-chamber collapse is…” Aug 15, 12:12
Captain Caveman on Anatomy Of A Grift: “@Northy Well, if the “chamber has collapsed” as you put it, maybe look to your own personal culpability in that,…” Aug 15, 12:10
Confused on Believers In The Ruins: “question on all our lips : did black einstein FAKE his own death? – he faked everything else … NB…” Aug 15, 11:56
Captain Caveman on Anatomy Of A Grift: ““That’s it, off to the gulag for you CC, reckon you’ll get 5 years hard labour” Ooh, well, I’m quaking…” Aug 15, 11:54
robertkknight on Believers In The Ruins: “Much wringing of hands shall follow. Any death by suicide is tragic – to feel that you’ve no option other…” Aug 15, 11:29
Northcode on Anatomy Of A Grift: “This comment trail is mildly interesting in terms of online space behavioural patterns. Here’s my analysis. Dan’s reply: the mature…” Aug 15, 11:13
Hatey McHateface on Believers In The Ruins: “Aye, Sam, hundreds of thousands of foreign tourists prop up Scotland’s economy every year as they flock to visit our…” Aug 15, 11:03
Hatey McHateface on Believers In The Ruins: “The new Floyd? £20 says that’s where this will go next.” Aug 15, 10:37
Hatey McHateface on Believers In The Ruins: “FOFA as the yoof say. Spend years and every available billion in foreign aid on raining down rockets on the…” Aug 15, 10:33
Aidan on Anatomy Of A Grift: “That’s it, off to the gulag for you CC, reckon you’ll get 5 years hard labour for: – sewing discord…” Aug 15, 10:27
Captain Caveman on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Dan’s still grizzling into his coffee, I see. Good grief, it’s so pathetic.” Aug 15, 09:28
TURABDIN on Believers In The Ruins: “TRAGIC….but a guy «leader of the free west», even more delusional, dangerously delusional, occupies the White House in a veil…” Aug 15, 09:12
Aidan on Anatomy Of A Grift: ““It gets absolutely nowhere because the same obvious disingenuous disruptors just jump in and shite all over it. That’s mostly…” Aug 15, 09:01
Dan on Anatomy Of A Grift: “As Aidan states, the genderwoowoo is one of the most important issues in Scottish politics. I’ve never denied that and…” Aug 15, 08:33
Grace Green on Believers In The Ruins: “You have not read the whole report. The mother reported that on awaking she found the baby purple, and she…” Aug 15, 07:44
Young Lochinvar on Believers In The Ruins: “HMcH @ 2.11 Sorry, but that is as disingenuous an argument as it was when first put about by Unionists.…” Aug 15, 00:59
Oneliner on Believers In The Ruins: “At least 1 of the 56,675 was schooled in covert surveillance.” Aug 14, 23:26
aLurker on Believers In The Ruins: “@sam “Royal Commission on Scottish Affairs 1952-1954 Report.” https://openlibrary.org/books/OL21768224M/Royal_Commission_on_Scottish_Affairs_1952-1954_Report.” Aug 14, 21:56
Chas on Believers In The Ruins: “I will ask again Alf, who would you replace the dozen or so hapless SNP minosters with following Independence. Some…” Aug 14, 21:36
Confused on Believers In The Ruins: “every nite is bonfire night in the g4z4 strip; why oh why did those people build their houses within the…” Aug 14, 21:03
Confused on Believers In The Ruins: “main will one day have to admit to the undeniable logic of every ANGLO subhuman removed en-masse from the blessed…” Aug 14, 21:02
agentx on Believers In The Ruins: ““The former University of Cambridge professor at the centre of a plagiarism row has been found dead. Jason Arday was…” Aug 14, 20:57
sam on Believers In The Ruins: “It’s a reply to your post- “Aidan says: 14 August, 2026 at 11:09 am This was considered by the UN…” Aug 14, 20:53
sam on Believers In The Ruins: “Turabdin, Below you see the reply from Wee Johnny Main. It is a good example of coat trailing, which is…” Aug 14, 20:41
Southernbystander on Believers In The Ruins: “Totally inventing a scenario and then a reaction to it by the person you want to attack, then castigating him…” Aug 14, 20:32
sam on Believers In The Ruins: “I’m very pleased to find my posts annoy you even though that is not my intention, not least because I…” Aug 14, 20:27
sam on Believers In The Ruins: “Wee johnny Main, Your posts are also repetitively boring, always banging on about immigrants. Scotland has always had immigrants. “Using…” Aug 14, 20:23
Aidan on Believers In The Ruins: “Oh interesting! What UN bodies specifically are taking what action?” Aug 14, 20:22