I was going to write this article yesterday, but 2024’s miserable damp squib of a summer unexpectedly delivered a beautiful day – a perfect 20C of unbroken sunshine with a refreshing slight breeze – so I went for a nice walk instead.
Rather than my usual bird-feeding and bear-patrolling beat along the river and canal, I headed off on what used to be my standard summer stroll: up the long steep hill to Beckford’s Tower and its associated cemetery with stunning views over the city.
I’ll scatter a few pics from the walk throughout this feature, as otherwise I’m afraid it’s going to be a bit depressing and angering.
There are now just 10 days until the general election. Wings has never told its readers how to vote and we’re not going to start now. Which is lucky, because if we were, we wouldn’t have a clue how to.
Just, y’know, not for any of these wretched, worthless shiters.
When you’ve been watching Scotland playing football for 50 years of your life, you become accustomed to disappointment. You expect disappointment. Anything better than disappointment becomes a bonus.
Having solved cat hunger in Greece, the tireless Holiday Boy has now turned his hand to addressing Scotland’s crippling golfing shortage, so we’ve got a different sort of cartoon again for you this weekend.
The clip below is from a 1981 arcade videogame called Venture, by Exidy, in which you play a cheerful character called Winky on a mission to loot treasure from a series of monster-infested dungeons.
For the purposes of this article the treasure in the room above, which takes the form of a castle tower, represents Scottish politics. The room itself is the Union.
The SNP released their general election manifesto today. We’re not going to link you to it, because we don’t want to be responsible for wasting your time. This is everything it has to say on the party’s (cough) strategy for achieving independence.
It deserves much, much less respect than we’re giving it. Tomorrow, ice lolly reviews.
We’re still trying not to pay attention to the election because it’s so tedious and awful and pointless, but this is worth putting on the record because it’s in The National and otherwise nobody’s going to read it.
Holiday Boy has of course chosen the general election campaign to spend the next three weeks feeding stray cats somewhere sunny, so here’s a cartoon by the brilliant webcomicname that summarises the Baillie Gifford story for anyone joining us late.
January 2018, with no general election due for four and a half years: “I very rarely talk about Scottish independence in the chamber, because I talk about things that matter”
June 2024, with an election in four weeks and a £91,346 salary, expenses and pension at stake: “ROBERT THE BRUCE! BANNOCKBURN! DECLARATION OF ARBROATH! FLOWER OF SCOTLAND! FREEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMM!”
Bilbo on Spoiler Alert: “I know I’m contradicting myself with my original comment because this has all been caused by bad legislation passed by…” Dec 10, 16:48
robertkknight on Spoiler Alert: “Scotland…the logic-free banana republic brought to you courtesy of the invertebrate Swinney and his loathsome bottom feeders in the SNP.…” Dec 10, 16:47
Captain Caveman on The Valley Of The Dolls: ““… Didn’t your Nigel cite TV programmes from the seventies towards allegations that he made racist comments as a teenager…” Dec 10, 16:47
panda paws on Spoiler Alert: “” The nurse and her legal team are expected to disclose their next steps at a press conference on Thursday.”…” Dec 10, 16:46
twathater on Spoiler Alert: “First of all to Natasha Sterling thank you for this post it echoes what most right thinking persons will think…” Dec 10, 16:26
Alf Baird on Spoiler Alert: “Logically, voting for any colonialist party (incl SNP) “is never going to deliver Independence” in anybody’s lifetime! At least Liberate…” Dec 10, 16:01
Karen on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Whit utter mince…..how could anyone have thought “good one” That will clear it up. Some need removed from their jobs…..” Dec 10, 15:59
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Spoiler Alert: “Following is from HELEN JOYCE’s book ‘TRANS: When Ideology Meets Reality’ – « In the spread of gender-identity ideology, developments in…” Dec 10, 15:50
Marie on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Any employee of B&M or Iceland will provide a more rational, socially responsible and just judgement in this case than…” Dec 10, 15:43
Platinum on Spoiler Alert: “I genuinely don’t understand how judges are allowed to publish judgements that are completely incorrect on the basics of the…” Dec 10, 15:37
Geoff Anderson on Spoiler Alert: “Absolutely! I hope the Fund raiser starts soon. This will be very demanding on Sandie but this is how the…” Dec 10, 15:32
100%Yes on Spoiler Alert: “I don’t see the SNP dying any time soon as a result of its finances, I had hoped but they…” Dec 10, 15:30
I. Despair on Spoiler Alert: “What is to be done? Parliament could try passing intelligent, coherent laws that don’t try to legislate for the impossible…” Dec 10, 15:25
Alf Baird on The Valley Of The Dolls: ““He identifies social class as a driver of the crazier parts of the judgment.” People on the Left do tend…” Dec 10, 15:22
Bilbo on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Captain Caveman Didn’t your Nigel cite TV programmes from the seventies towards allegations that he made racist comments as a…” Dec 10, 15:10
Aidan on Spoiler Alert: “Absolutely 100% Yes, voting against the SNP in 2026 is the best and really the only sensible option to break…” Dec 10, 15:10
James Cheyne on Spoiler Alert: “If Scotland was already independent the SNP AND DEVOLVED government would not exist, For the moment we seem to be…” Dec 10, 14:59
Heaver on Spoiler Alert: “Can this Upton creature not be prosecuted as a sex pest? For that is surely what he is. He’s bound…” Dec 10, 14:56
James Cheyne on Spoiler Alert: “Getting justice in Scotland is possible if thought out properly, there are tools and levers that can be used, its…” Dec 10, 14:43
100%Yes on Spoiler Alert: “Lets all shout out I’ll crowd fund for a new hearing, WHY? Its cheaper just to remove the SNP from…” Dec 10, 14:24
James Cheyne on Spoiler Alert: “It would become a Scottish matter rather than a supreme Court matter. 1) because it is Scots law, not Great…” Dec 10, 14:13
sarah on Spoiler Alert: “Yes. I’m in.” Dec 10, 14:12
Antoine Roquentin on Spoiler Alert: “Where else but in Scotland would you get away with running an openly partisan legal system? The woman-in-question should take…” Dec 10, 14:08
Captain Caveman on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Yeah, I’m a “fantasist” and a “fool”, says the guy who’s insisting (on a public forum) the genesis of wokeism…” Dec 10, 14:00
Patsy Millar on Spoiler Alert: “I’m in!” Dec 10, 13:54
Bilbo on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Captain Caveman A fool and a fantasist. You’re better off sticking to the Daily Mail site.” Dec 10, 13:50
Lorncal on Spoiler Alert: “I have just sat through Martin Geissler’s ‘Scotcast’ of last night and have never heard such a dog’s breakfast of…” Dec 10, 13:49
Graeme on Spoiler Alert: “I noticed that Sandies counsel said on the day of the judgement they would take time to read it before…” Dec 10, 13:40
Marie Clark on Spoiler Alert: “This must be appealed surely, what a dogs breakfast this judge has made out of this appeal. If there is…” Dec 10, 13:29
Effijy on Spoiler Alert: “We have corrupt and incompetent policing, NHS Trusts, Judges and Politicians. What hope is there in the world?” Dec 10, 13:25
