Wings Over Scotland

As the long-running police probe into SNP finances continues, Wings received some slightly surprising news today in the form of an FOI response.

Based on reports from various trustworthy sources we’d expected to hear that the police side of the investigation was by this point winding down somewhat, with most matters of fact already established, detectives assigned to other duties and the ball now largely in the court of the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS).

But it seems that isn’t so.

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We’ve been thinking about this again.

Because we’re still more than two years out from the next Holyrood election, and it’s really hard to see how it’s going to pan out. So let’s throw some figures around.

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This is so freaky I had to check they weren’t quoting each other. It’s like a game show.

Just a couple of nice well-brought-up Hutchesons’ Grammar boys in smart suits, there, thinking the same, speaking the same, saying the same, and angling for the same job. (Which one of them now has, and the other may have soon.)

Scotland is a 96% white country (98% white as recently as the 2001 census). We’re still not entirely sure what their point is.

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If there’s ever been a (branch office of a) political party that could somehow manage to blow it in Scotland against the burning trainwreck in a ditch full of sewage that is the SNP right now, it’s definitely Anas Sarwar’s hapless Scottish Labour.

Honestly, this stuff is comedy gold. But in a winner-takes-all dumb-off with Humza Yousaf’s SNP, it’s way too close to call.

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One year ago today, Nicola Sturgeon suddenly resigned as First Minister. And what a spectacular 12 months it’s been for the Yes movement since her departure.

That, of course, is a somewhat selective graph.

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When people tell you who they are, believe them the first time.

Because give him some credit, he’s not lying.

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Well, it sure beats the broom-cupboard video.

We never got a response to our last job application, but we’re not easily dispirited here at Wings, so we’re trying again.

So little is happening in Scottish politics at the moment that we need SOMETHING to do all day. And let’s face it, the bar to improve on the previous incumbent isn’t high.

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As Twitter followers will have noticed, we’ve been busy this week with an extensive remodelling of Wings HQ, which involved the main computer being out of commission for several days while the office was basically torn down and rebuilt from scratch. (It seemed a good time to do it, given that there’s nothing remotely of interest happening in Scottish politics.)

Unfortunately the lack of activity on the site caused the comments on the last post to degenerate into the most wretched playground shrieking match, so let’s see if we can’t distract the children and talk about something else for a bit.

Particularly alert observers will have noted that Kezia Dugdale, the most spectacularly inept and unsuccessful Scottish political leader in history, this week demitted her role as Director of the John Smith Centre, which she was handed as an incentive to quit Scottish Labour after dragging it to 14% in the opinion polls.

And we wondered how anyone would be able to tell.

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Nicola Sturgeon turned up to the COVID inquiry today in a car with no MOT certificate.

Which raises a couple of questions.

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We long ago ran out of words to express the magnitude of the contempt in which the SNP now hold the people of Scotland. Which is unfortunate, because this probably calls for the invention of a whole new scale.

Shall we go through just a few of the more crassly insulting holes in this pitiful excuse for a cover story, just to pass the time while we wait for the former First Minister to appear before the COVID inquiry? We don’t know about you, but we’ve got nothing better to do.

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Nicola Sturgeon is due to give her evidence to the COVID inquiry tomorrow – if, of course, she remembers anything. We’re awaiting, open-mouthed in genuine shock, her explanation for this.

Because try as hard as we might, we cannot for the lives of us bring to mind a single possible legitimate justification for a First Minister to do such a thing.

Alert readers may however note that 19 March 2020 was just four days before Alex Salmond was cleared of all charges, and might find themselves pondering the reasons why she might want to be in possession of a cheap disposable text-capable phone at that particular point in time.