The Scottish Government have just launched yet another nanny-state “healthy eating” intervention, and to be honest, readers, the cheap-shot open goals just queued up.
Our first instinct was to do a simple picture gallery of some of the insatiable pie-hounds squeezing their expenses-fed backsides onto the groaning, creaking benches and chairs of the Holyrood and Westminster parliaments, such as Kirsten “Elbows” Oswald (pictured above, slumped back under the sheer weight of her neck) – so known to other MPs because you get between her and a buffet at grave peril to your ribcage.
(And no, we’re not telling you which ones told us that.)
More than three months have passed since Alex Salmond launched a lawsuit against the Scottish Government for its grotesquely botched handling of false allegations of sexual misconduct against him.
With Scottish politics currently in a completely moribund state, as the party of government disintegrates shambolically and the main opposition party keeps its mouth shut and its head down in an attempt to not destroy its newfound and extremely fragile status as a credible alternative, one might imagine that the political media would be desperate for the case to get under way and provide them with some juicy content.
So it’s slightly surprising that none of them has noticed the latest development.
We’re reluctant to even mention the farcical, embarrassing goings-on in the House Of Commons last night, but the very short version is that the SNP somehow contrived to save Keir Starmer from an embarrassing mass rebellion of Labour MPs.
And in so far as anyone cared about them at all, the people of Gaza were the losers.
As the long-running police probe into SNP finances continues, Wings received some slightly surprising news today in the form of an FOI response.
Based on reports from various trustworthy sources we’d expected to hear that the police side of the investigation was by this point winding down somewhat, with most matters of fact already established, detectives assigned to other duties and the ball now largely in the court of the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS).
Because we’re still more than two years out from the next Holyrood election, and it’s really hard to see how it’s going to pan out. So let’s throw some figures around.
This is so freaky I had to check they weren’t quoting each other. It’s like a game show.
Just a couple of nice well-brought-up Hutchesons’ Grammar boys in smart suits, there, thinking the same, speaking the same, saying the same, and angling for the same job. (Which one of them now has, and the other may have soon.)
If there’s ever been a (branch office of a) political party that could somehow manage to blow it in Scotland against the burning trainwreck in a ditch full of sewage that is the SNP right now, it’s definitely Anas Sarwar’s hapless Scottish Labour.
Honestly, this stuff is comedy gold. But in a winner-takes-all dumb-off with Humza Yousaf’s SNP, it’s way too close to call.
One year ago today, Nicola Sturgeon suddenly resigned as First Minister. And what a spectacular 12 months it’s been for the Yes movement since her departure.
Mark Beggan on Safety First: “What’s the penalty for pretending to have a bomb on an aeroplane these days? Boy! This lads ass is grass.” Jul 27, 22:53
Mark Beggan on Safety First: “‘colonially subjugated’ I find a glass of warm water with a teaspoonfull of cider vinegar does the trick.” Jul 27, 22:49
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Safety First: “Encouraging high-register article by KATHLEEN STOCK on UNHERD (25 July 2025) – ‘IS THIS THE END OF TRANSGENDERISM: We are…” Jul 27, 22:38
Mark Beggan on Safety First: “Under Thatcher they would have taken away the wheelchair.” Jul 27, 22:37
Southernbystander on Safety First: “@Dave L. International fees can be set by the university. International fees in an ordinary ni in England are about…” Jul 27, 22:31
Alf Baird on Safety First: “Yes James, a colonized people are ‘procured’ (Memmi), the wages of colonialism (‘Equivalent’) paid to native elites, many already assimilated…” Jul 27, 22:27
Hatey McHateface on Safety First: “@NN! You need to prove that you are not paid to come on here and make Scotland and Indy look…” Jul 27, 21:45
GM on Safety First: “Welcome. Anything to report since you have been away?” Jul 27, 21:35
Hatey McHateface on Safety First: “Yes NN!, I have considered the matter. For a start, my considerations lead me to believe it’s not a “fact”…” Jul 27, 21:26
MaryB on Safety First: “Sarah, Northcode etc I find that inde-car ie Gordon Ross, also known as Partick Driver, is the best place to…” Jul 27, 21:06
Captain Caveman on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “@Xaracen ‘… I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request.’ Oh, I bet you are. Imagine my surprise.” Jul 27, 21:05
Nae Need! on Safety First: “Well, I enjoy Confused’s posts, sometimes simply cos they annoy YOU so much, but mostly cos they’re excellent. None of…” Jul 27, 20:56
Southernbystander on Safety First: “@Young Lochinvar. English students pay the same as they would in England yes. I suspect overseas students from China, India…” Jul 27, 20:49
Andy Ellis on Safety First: “Folk are of course free to support the referral to the UN using the process and procedure which is in…” Jul 27, 20:39
Xaracen on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “@Captain Caveman; I’m disinclined to acquiesce to your request.” Jul 27, 20:38
DaveL on Safety First: “So how much do they pay?” Jul 27, 20:38
Stuart on Safety First: “Mr Ellis, how dare you mention the obvious solution! Not when those pushing this farce at the UN can keep…” Jul 27, 20:26
Nae Need! on Safety First: “Laughing out loud here 🙂 There’s an awful lot to unpack, Confused, when it comes to a witty come back…” Jul 27, 20:23
Nae Need! on Safety First: “No, Agent X, it’s not a laugh, and we’re not treating it as a laugh either. Like wot Willie says,…” Jul 27, 20:14
Andrew scott on Safety First: “O/t FFS Engerlannd win the footiie” Jul 27, 20:04
Nae Need! on Safety First: “Asides from your entirely unnecessary jibes/aspersions on my character, of which there were too many lolz, Mr Hatey, I do…” Jul 27, 20:01
Nae Need! on Safety First: “Yes. Of concern to me to.” Jul 27, 19:49
Nae Need! on Safety First: “Hatey, Ever considered the fact that those outwith those two categories of behaviour might actually be fewer than you think?…” Jul 27, 19:46
Hatey McHateface on Safety First: “Ah, c’moan noo, Andy. 1000 to 1 says absolutely delusional. With a healthy side order of “give me Indy, but…” Jul 27, 19:42
Hatey McHateface on Safety First: “Commiserations on your hyperactive imagination. Perhaps your only recourse is to spend your conscious hours seeking rapid paralytic unconsciousness through…” Jul 27, 19:38
Northcode on Safety First: “I also meant to add a link to this report dated 28th May 2025 submitted to the UN by Justice…” Jul 27, 19:36
Nae Need! on Safety First: “Och, Willie, I’m loving your thinking. ” reflecting the deep meaningful thought that pervades our Scottish Government.” They’re astounding and…” Jul 27, 19:36
Andy Ellis on Safety First: “So as many of us already thought, this process is of doubtful utility and could take some undetermined amount of…” Jul 27, 19:31
Hatey McHateface on Safety First: “Tch, NC. Line the weans up bareback on a garron, eldest at the front, wee-ist at the back. Don’t even…” Jul 27, 19:19
Nae Need! on Safety First: “Interesting. I always imagined the fat distribution in pepperoni was more akin to a sliced penis, but hey, I’m not…” Jul 27, 19:17
