The Scottish Government have just launched yet another nanny-state “healthy eating” intervention, and to be honest, readers, the cheap-shot open goals just queued up.
Our first instinct was to do a simple picture gallery of some of the insatiable pie-hounds squeezing their expenses-fed backsides onto the groaning, creaking benches and chairs of the Holyrood and Westminster parliaments, such as Kirsten “Elbows” Oswald (pictured above, slumped back under the sheer weight of her neck) – so known to other MPs because you get between her and a buffet at grave peril to your ribcage.
(And no, we’re not telling you which ones told us that.)
More than three months have passed since Alex Salmond launched a lawsuit against the Scottish Government for its grotesquely botched handling of false allegations of sexual misconduct against him.
With Scottish politics currently in a completely moribund state, as the party of government disintegrates shambolically and the main opposition party keeps its mouth shut and its head down in an attempt to not destroy its newfound and extremely fragile status as a credible alternative, one might imagine that the political media would be desperate for the case to get under way and provide them with some juicy content.
So it’s slightly surprising that none of them has noticed the latest development.
We’re reluctant to even mention the farcical, embarrassing goings-on in the House Of Commons last night, but the very short version is that the SNP somehow contrived to save Keir Starmer from an embarrassing mass rebellion of Labour MPs.
And in so far as anyone cared about them at all, the people of Gaza were the losers.
As the long-running police probe into SNP finances continues, Wings received some slightly surprising news today in the form of an FOI response.
Based on reports from various trustworthy sources we’d expected to hear that the police side of the investigation was by this point winding down somewhat, with most matters of fact already established, detectives assigned to other duties and the ball now largely in the court of the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS).
Because we’re still more than two years out from the next Holyrood election, and it’s really hard to see how it’s going to pan out. So let’s throw some figures around.
This is so freaky I had to check they weren’t quoting each other. It’s like a game show.
Just a couple of nice well-brought-up Hutchesons’ Grammar boys in smart suits, there, thinking the same, speaking the same, saying the same, and angling for the same job. (Which one of them now has, and the other may have soon.)
If there’s ever been a (branch office of a) political party that could somehow manage to blow it in Scotland against the burning trainwreck in a ditch full of sewage that is the SNP right now, it’s definitely Anas Sarwar’s hapless Scottish Labour.
Honestly, this stuff is comedy gold. But in a winner-takes-all dumb-off with Humza Yousaf’s SNP, it’s way too close to call.
One year ago today, Nicola Sturgeon suddenly resigned as First Minister. And what a spectacular 12 months it’s been for the Yes movement since her departure.
sarah on The Valley Of The Dolls: “You missed your calling, Rev. You could have been a senior judge in Scotland or England. There was a wonderful…” Dec 9, 19:29
Hatey McHateface on The Valley Of The Dolls: “As always, a masterful analysis from Scotland’s greatest living journalist. Just one tiny quibble: “It’s not often you see a…” Dec 9, 19:24
Hatey McHateface on The Valley Of The Dolls: “They’re aiming for the institutionalized watering down of women’s rights. It’s a war. The trannies are the leading shock troops…” Dec 9, 19:21
Kate L on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Thank you for this breakdown, even though it may lead to a breakdown of my own. This is legitimately bonkers.…” Dec 9, 19:20
agentx on The Valley Of The Dolls: “There will be an appeal from both sides and the decision will go to the higher courts. But please note…” Dec 9, 19:18
diabloandco on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Excellent idea! The whole thing is stratospherically ridiculous.” Dec 9, 19:17
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “Forgot to mention that thoughts of Gruinard Bay and its seals always make me think of the incomparable Julie and…” Dec 9, 19:10
diabloandco on The Long Walk To Freedom: “I think I must have met that man in Edinburgh one lovely sunny afternoon in the gardens when a great…” Dec 9, 19:07
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “I don’t give up, Sarah, I adapt 🙂 . Despite the best efforts of the security services, the Edinburgh Proclamation…” Dec 9, 18:59
Hatey McHateface on The Long Walk To Freedom: “Ah, the fragrant James has dragged himself once again, out from under his stone. You can choose to believe that…” Dec 9, 18:51
Craig on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Any chance for a copy of THAT dogs breakfast to be sent to the Supreme Court judges so they may…” Dec 9, 18:46
twathater on The Valley Of The Dolls: “I would believe that judges decision had been made at the start of the tribunal , anyone who uses the…” Dec 9, 18:32
100%Yes on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Trying to fit a square into a circle is never going to work. I’m afraid the SNP and the Greens…” Dec 9, 18:07
Iain More on The Valley Of The Dolls: “It is a toxic world for any white heterosexual males and females.” Dec 9, 18:04
Vronsky on The Valley Of The Dolls: “It’s too easy to point out the madness, we need to understand that to your average politician this apparent silliness…” Dec 9, 17:57
panda paws on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Indeed it isn’t. It is illegal for someone who in an official capacity knows another person has a GRC to…” Dec 9, 17:44
Colin Dawson on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Given the avalanche of litigation that is likely to result from the Scottish Government’s allegedly unlawful gender self-ID policies over…” Dec 9, 17:40
Jill on The Valley Of The Dolls: “English women here who follows you for your reporting on this issue. A huge thank you again for your time…” Dec 9, 17:25
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Remain in your home. Officers will be with you shortly.” Dec 9, 17:24
agentx on The Long Walk To Freedom: ““A salutary lesson for us all when sidling up to strange men in a working man’s public house…” ————————————- That’s…” Dec 9, 17:24
duncanio on The Valley Of The Dolls: “In most areas of employment where judgments so overwhelmingly incompetent and negligent as were made by this tribunal the person…” Dec 9, 17:20
Morgatron on The Valley Of The Dolls: “I started reading the bollocks last night and my head was whirling. If that is the judiciary now , there…” Dec 9, 17:07
Frank Gillougley on The Valley Of The Dolls: “A three hundred page tome that collapses under its own weight, and this is seriously held up to shed light…” Dec 9, 16:59
Kenny on The Valley Of The Dolls: “It is NOT unlawful to ask someone if they have a GRC. I don’t know why the Supreme Court made…” Dec 9, 16:33
SilentMajority on The Valley Of The Dolls: “…outstanding work! I really hope that someone shows that Employment Tribunal judge this post…now that so much of his chaotic…” Dec 9, 16:17
Anne on The Valley Of The Dolls: “There was a young man in the ladies loo at Edinburgh Botanical gardens yesterday .He hadn’t even bothered to put…” Dec 9, 16:12
