The Scottish Government have just launched yet another nanny-state “healthy eating” intervention, and to be honest, readers, the cheap-shot open goals just queued up.
Our first instinct was to do a simple picture gallery of some of the insatiable pie-hounds squeezing their expenses-fed backsides onto the groaning, creaking benches and chairs of the Holyrood and Westminster parliaments, such as Kirsten “Elbows” Oswald (pictured above, slumped back under the sheer weight of her neck) – so known to other MPs because you get between her and a buffet at grave peril to your ribcage.
(And no, we’re not telling you which ones told us that.)
More than three months have passed since Alex Salmond launched a lawsuit against the Scottish Government for its grotesquely botched handling of false allegations of sexual misconduct against him.
With Scottish politics currently in a completely moribund state, as the party of government disintegrates shambolically and the main opposition party keeps its mouth shut and its head down in an attempt to not destroy its newfound and extremely fragile status as a credible alternative, one might imagine that the political media would be desperate for the case to get under way and provide them with some juicy content.
So it’s slightly surprising that none of them has noticed the latest development.
We’re reluctant to even mention the farcical, embarrassing goings-on in the House Of Commons last night, but the very short version is that the SNP somehow contrived to save Keir Starmer from an embarrassing mass rebellion of Labour MPs.
And in so far as anyone cared about them at all, the people of Gaza were the losers.
As the long-running police probe into SNP finances continues, Wings received some slightly surprising news today in the form of an FOI response.
Based on reports from various trustworthy sources we’d expected to hear that the police side of the investigation was by this point winding down somewhat, with most matters of fact already established, detectives assigned to other duties and the ball now largely in the court of the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS).
Because we’re still more than two years out from the next Holyrood election, and it’s really hard to see how it’s going to pan out. So let’s throw some figures around.
This is so freaky I had to check they weren’t quoting each other. It’s like a game show.
Just a couple of nice well-brought-up Hutchesons’ Grammar boys in smart suits, there, thinking the same, speaking the same, saying the same, and angling for the same job. (Which one of them now has, and the other may have soon.)
If there’s ever been a (branch office of a) political party that could somehow manage to blow it in Scotland against the burning trainwreck in a ditch full of sewage that is the SNP right now, it’s definitely Anas Sarwar’s hapless Scottish Labour.
Honestly, this stuff is comedy gold. But in a winner-takes-all dumb-off with Humza Yousaf’s SNP, it’s way too close to call.
One year ago today, Nicola Sturgeon suddenly resigned as First Minister. And what a spectacular 12 months it’s been for the Yes movement since her departure.
Insider on Holiday Relief: “sarah… Tell us all when you have the latest news…. The Cromarty Firth by-election [Highland Council] is absolutely vital in…” Jun 20, 23:08
Alf Baird on Holiday Relief: ““Nine years – no rush then!” The SNP leadership has been content to run a colonial administration for almost 20…” Jun 20, 21:56
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Holiday Relief: “‘LONDON CALLING: HOW THE BBC STOLE THE REFERENDUM’ by GA PONSONBY KINDLE £1.99 Review 21 May 2015 — Verified Purchase…” Jun 20, 21:56
Breastplate on Holiday Relief: “Andy, “outlandish conspiracy theories about vote rigging”. The British secret services, I’m sure you will agree, exist specifically to protect…” Jun 20, 21:51
sarah on Holiday Relief: “Total votes 2410. Reform was knocked out at stage 7 with 396 votes. Having no inside information, it looks to…” Jun 20, 21:19
Scot Finlayson on Holiday Relief: “Scotland still to vote on their Assisted Killing bill, Brought forward by LibDem Liam McArthur who is funded by shadowy…” Jun 20, 20:58
twathater on Holiday Relief: “The happy-clappy relentless positivity of the campaign had some merit, and obviously played well in some quarters, but it ultimately…” Jun 20, 20:50
Hatey McHateface on Holiday Relief: “You’re defo onto something with the robotic wank arm, Dan. I hope you’ll still remember us and continue to post…” Jun 20, 20:38
Hatey McHateface on Holiday Relief: “Fit happened tae yer CAPS LOCK key? Hae ye worn it oot?” Jun 20, 20:29
Hatey McHateface on Holiday Relief: “You could start talking in Scots. Where are you with learning your 500 words? Into double figures yet? Ah hae…” Jun 20, 20:22
twathater on Holiday Relief: “Tell the truth bastard tax you didn’t read it you got your nurse to read it and explain the words…” Jun 20, 20:12
sarah on Holiday Relief: “Result in the Cromarty Firth by-election [Highland Council]: Stage 1: Conservatives 48, Labour 77, Alba 91, Greens 92, LibDems 290,…” Jun 20, 20:07
Confused on Holiday Relief: “worse than a shooting range at a carny no exit poll = rigged. Exit polls are the early warning system…” Jun 20, 19:14
Confused on Holiday Relief: “– just a thought : is “being English” considered a disability? (- an “antisocial personality disorder”? Or a “narcissistic psychosis”?)…” Jun 20, 18:53
Confused on Holiday Relief: “The disabled will be “sorted” when assisted dying comes in. We are all equal in the grave. Equality at the…” Jun 20, 18:37
Andy Ellis on Holiday Relief: “The most obvious reasons are known and accepted by all sane folk tho’ James. Primarily, not enough Scots (whether native…” Jun 20, 18:27
Dan on Holiday Relief: “@ Aidan If the UK is so great then why does it have to import so much stuff and [eople…” Jun 20, 18:16
James Cheyne on Holiday Relief: “Why would any one argue that a law abiding mostly safe country should follow and back slide to other countries…” Jun 20, 17:35
Hatey McHateface on Holiday Relief: ““Although where there is a will, there is a way” Naw. That’s gullibility reinforced by the lucky accident of having…” Jun 20, 17:11
James Cheyne on Holiday Relief: “Breastplate, Aye At what point does a censorship country make a regime change to a dictatorship country. Although where there…” Jun 20, 16:15
Hatey McHateface on Holiday Relief: “Somebody had better check the small print. It could well be that at ScotGov, a “disabled” person is somebody trapped…” Jun 20, 15:40
Hatey McHateface on Holiday Relief: “Sure, Bip. If only we had more cheerleading for poot and more bigging up of the lassie torturing tunnel skulkers…” Jun 20, 15:36
agent x on Holiday Relief: ““THE Scottish Government has launched a “milestone” report which aims to put disabled people’s experiences and concerns at the centre…” Jun 20, 14:00
George Ferguson on Holiday Relief: “@Alf Baird 10:03am The purpose of being an Independent Candidate is surely that you don’t have a party or organisation…” Jun 20, 13:40
James on Holiday Relief: “Alongside a toon cooncil franchise and 24/7 interference by a foreign media system….” Jun 20, 13:38
Breastplate on Holiday Relief: “There’s a sign that hangs on the wall of the retirement home in The Simpsons. It says “Thank you for…” Jun 20, 13:13
lothianlad on Holiday Relief: “The 2014 referendunm was rigged.” Jun 20, 12:17
James Cheyne on Holiday Relief: “There were many reasons why the Scottish referendum did not work out for the scottish people in that year, some…” Jun 20, 11:54
James Cheyne on Holiday Relief: “I hope you can fit the story line together, it had to be done this way, because it kept getting…” Jun 20, 11:48
James Cheyne on Holiday Relief: “Mr johnstone admmited that their friends had interfered in stuff they had no business being connected too back in 2014…” Jun 20, 11:42
