Here’s Ruth Davidson at FMQs today, telling the chamber that “last week the Royal Institute of Chartered Surveyors said the real problem facing investment and jobs in Scotland was [Nicola Sturgeon’s] threat of a second referendum”.
Would you like to know how many actual people that was, readers?
There was a rather comforting predictability about the headlines the Scottish media greeted the first day of the SNP conference in Glasgow with.
Unsurprisingly, the Express’ lead story was a piece of fabricated drivel based on alleged quotes from an unnamed source claiming that the Scottish Government would resign in order to force an election and win a mandate that it already has.
(The SNP’s manifesto this May, on which it won a third landslide election victory in a row, clearly reserved the right to call a second referendum should there be a serious material change in circumstances, explicitly citing the Brexit scenario as an example.)
Both articles are essentially the sort of comedy pastiches of terrible journalism one might create as a cautionary example in a media studies degree course, so we’ll waste no more of your time on them. The Herald’s piece, though, is at least marginally more interesting.
Low-wattage Labour list MSP Neil Findlay (rejected by the electorate of Almond Valley by a thumping 8,393 votes in May) puffed himself up to maximum socialism this week and attacked the SNP’s rather more popular Paisley MP Mhairi Black over a Scottish Daily Express story about travel expenses.
It might have been an idea if he’d read the piece all the way to the end.
Fear and lies work. Over many decades (and really for centuries) the Unionist parties and the media have succeeded in persuading a large percentage of Scots that they’re beggars, scroungers, vagrants and “subsidy junkies” dependent on the ever-generous charity of England to keep them from starvation.
And in terms of the facts, that hasn’t always been an easy sell.
Today’s Sunday Times didn’t bother with any subtlety in its signalling of how people should expect the Scottish media to handle next week’s GERS figures.
There’ll be nothing but repeats of all last year’s articles in the papers, so there doesn’t seem to be much point in re-writing all the rebuttals. We’d advise readers not to expect to hear any of the facts or arguments in any of the above articles aired on TV or radio discussions of the new figures either. For the sake of your blood pressure, it’s probably best to stick to old QI repeats on Dave for the next eight days.
Alert readers may have noticed that we tend to slack off a bit at the weekend these days. There’s no point burning ourselves out with busywork at a time when there’s not very much going on in Scottish politics (certainly not in terms of independence, at any rate), and weekend traffic is always lower anyway.
So we’ve only just now got round to taking a proper look at something the online Yoon community and punditariat was getting itself very excited about on Saturday.
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““…some kind of martyrdom.” Now we see the deployment of the: “I’m Going to Use Three Big Words So You…” Jun 27, 19:59
Young Lochinvar on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Claire I wish to heck I could put my hand on the quotation in print but my (admittedly not always…” Jun 27, 19:52
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““…your petulant foot stamping…” Having now examined the specimen in its natural habitat (a social-media thread), we can confidently classify…” Jun 27, 19:50
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““A lot more involved” Sure. £660k wisely invested for several years might be double that now. Might be ten times…” Jun 27, 19:44
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Your good friend, perhaps. No friend of the tunnel skulking scum whose misogyny, barbarism, hatred, theft and contempt for the…” Jun 27, 19:39
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “You been criminalised yet, Northy? Seems to me you’re as free as I am to post whatsoever you like. Like…” Jun 27, 19:30
holymacmoses on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “I’m simply assuming that the Police and the Crown Prosecution Office knew they would have to prosecute someone – so…” Jun 27, 19:20
Mark Beggan on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “That’s what hells for. The post colonials are running out of text book excuses. “We’re going to need a bigger…” Jun 27, 19:18
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: ““…you’re pebble dashing the site with high pressure shite.” Here we encounter the “Over-Invested Bathroom-Tile Enthusiast” School of Rhetoric. Only…” Jun 27, 19:09
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Cants gubbed Panama 6-1 an a. Is there no justice under heaven?” Jun 27, 18:58
ALANM on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “There’s a simple explanation which I’ve also cited in relation to a case currently being pursued through the courts by…” Jun 27, 18:55
David Johnston on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “The problem with the two interviews is the both the DCC and COFS were talking about the embezzlement case and…” Jun 27, 18:32
Hatey McHateface on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Mind to come back on here, Northy, and tell us as soon as your resistance is criminalised and you’re punished…” Jun 27, 18:28
A2 on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Where’s Colin Beattie by the way? Slipped out the back door while no-one’s looking?” Jun 27, 18:19
Northcode on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “In The Wretched of the Earth, Fanon describes the colonial world as divided into the coloniser’s zone (privileged, protected, policed…” Jun 27, 18:15
M.E on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “There’s more waffle going on here than the freezers in Iceland.” Jun 27, 18:14
Hatey McHateface on The Promise: “Good Lord, Northy! Are you claiming that the hyphen (“-“) is an alien imposition forced on the Scots by the…” Jun 27, 18:10
Fiona on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Hands up anyone who agrees with Mr Logue that “we have a system that words” Or is there anyone who…” Jun 27, 18:04
Hatey McHateface on The Promise: “Haha, Alf, but I’ve noticed before that to be a fully paid up member of the tonto Indy faction that…” Jun 27, 18:01
Ex President Xiden on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Crown office are being disengeneous here. In cases like this the police investigate under the direction of the Crown office.…” Jun 27, 17:38
george wood on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “In the police interview at 26minutes in, the officer says “he was funding a lifestyle that he didn’t think he…” Jun 27, 17:34
Percy Adam on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “I see that Dorothy Bain, The head of COFPS at the time, has just resigned.” Jun 27, 17:29
gm on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “… on the other hand Sturgeon Swinney and others may have been in the UK pocket of course, maybe for…” Jun 27, 17:27
Oneliner on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Clearly, Mr Logue is used to dealing with those whose heads button up the back. And by that I mean…” Jun 27, 17:22
Effijy on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “I recall a higher ranking criminal relation of a friend telling me that his Uncle had got out of the…” Jun 27, 17:20
Andy Wiltshire on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Hi Rev, you had a second (stalling) answer from the police, but is there any sign of an additional something…” Jun 27, 17:03
Glenn Boyd on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “The only solution that presents itself is that of a Private Prosecution where Sturgeon’s duplicity, dishonesty and sociopathy will be…” Jun 27, 17:02
gm on Ping-Pong-Fiddle-Aye-No: “Excellent post, Sean Duffy. This is where I am with this affair. ‘We know that there’s at least two suspects…” Jun 27, 17:01