Here’s Ruth Davidson at FMQs today, telling the chamber that “last week the Royal Institute of Chartered Surveyors said the real problem facing investment and jobs in Scotland was [Nicola Sturgeon’s] threat of a second referendum”.
Would you like to know how many actual people that was, readers?
There was a rather comforting predictability about the headlines the Scottish media greeted the first day of the SNP conference in Glasgow with.
Unsurprisingly, the Express’ lead story was a piece of fabricated drivel based on alleged quotes from an unnamed source claiming that the Scottish Government would resign in order to force an election and win a mandate that it already has.
(The SNP’s manifesto this May, on which it won a third landslide election victory in a row, clearly reserved the right to call a second referendum should there be a serious material change in circumstances, explicitly citing the Brexit scenario as an example.)
Both articles are essentially the sort of comedy pastiches of terrible journalism one might create as a cautionary example in a media studies degree course, so we’ll waste no more of your time on them. The Herald’s piece, though, is at least marginally more interesting.
Low-wattage Labour list MSP Neil Findlay (rejected by the electorate of Almond Valley by a thumping 8,393 votes in May) puffed himself up to maximum socialism this week and attacked the SNP’s rather more popular Paisley MP Mhairi Black over a Scottish Daily Express story about travel expenses.
It might have been an idea if he’d read the piece all the way to the end.
Fear and lies work. Over many decades (and really for centuries) the Unionist parties and the media have succeeded in persuading a large percentage of Scots that they’re beggars, scroungers, vagrants and “subsidy junkies” dependent on the ever-generous charity of England to keep them from starvation.
And in terms of the facts, that hasn’t always been an easy sell.
Today’s Sunday Times didn’t bother with any subtlety in its signalling of how people should expect the Scottish media to handle next week’s GERS figures.
There’ll be nothing but repeats of all last year’s articles in the papers, so there doesn’t seem to be much point in re-writing all the rebuttals. We’d advise readers not to expect to hear any of the facts or arguments in any of the above articles aired on TV or radio discussions of the new figures either. For the sake of your blood pressure, it’s probably best to stick to old QI repeats on Dave for the next eight days.
Alert readers may have noticed that we tend to slack off a bit at the weekend these days. There’s no point burning ourselves out with busywork at a time when there’s not very much going on in Scottish politics (certainly not in terms of independence, at any rate), and weekend traffic is always lower anyway.
So we’ve only just now got round to taking a proper look at something the online Yoon community and punditariat was getting itself very excited about on Saturday.
Blunt Gaper on Not So Octopus: “Too long. With the implosion of Your Party concentrating the nutter vote firmly in Green hands Q Manivanman is my…” Apr 10, 20:44
Black Joan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Great work. Thank you. As someone has already pointed out, a “Charles” Rennie has crept into the text, when the…” Apr 10, 19:37
Alf Baird on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “What do we expect when the colony advertises and recruits for all its top jobs in the metropolitan capital of…” Apr 10, 19:11
Northcode on Not So Octopus: ““This song is brilliant lol” Brilliant, indeed. Professionally produced anti-Trump Persian propaganda. Clever rap rhetoric wrapped in visual rhetoric and…” Apr 10, 19:08
Northcode on Not So Octopus: ““The knives will no doubt be out for him cause the Union fears him.” Aye, Geri, there’s no doubt about…” Apr 10, 18:47
Insider on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “quote….. “A row has broken out over public funding of almost £2 million for LGBT Youth Scotland, a teenage gay…” Apr 10, 18:32
twathater on Not So Octopus: “Well said Young Lochinvar you are a seer who has described the beggar admirably” Apr 10, 18:24
Karen on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Well done again Stu! They force all the women out so the nonces (and their handmaidens) are all that’s left.…” Apr 10, 17:28
Cynicus on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““Do You Believe In ThelRev Stuart Campbell?” ====+ ChatGPT is having an AI hallucination -or HAD one. It identified our…” Apr 10, 16:28
Carol Sadler on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Hmmmm.Rminds me of that AI Jessica Foster influencer thingy.It’s got/had nearly 2 million followers who thought it was real.” Apr 10, 15:47
dawninnl on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Hi Rev, a gremlin has written Charles Rennie in the text, while the 2 quoted records say James Rennie. Please…” Apr 10, 15:47
James on Not So Octopus: “Jesus wept. Humpty & Dumpty out again. Distract, divert, derail. Rinse and repeat.” Apr 10, 15:39
peter on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “I wondered if the original report of the appointment was dated 1st April. But no it was dated 20th March.” Apr 10, 15:23
Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “The situation in Scotland now is like a rotting tooth. All you need to do is go to the dentist…” Apr 10, 15:16
Confused on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “It comes full circle – the nonces were using AI to create AI slop kiddie porn – now the nonces…” Apr 10, 14:45
Lorncal on Not So Octopus: “Geri: no, I didn’t say that. I said that we have to clear out all the DEI, HR, charity sectors…” Apr 10, 14:33
Heaver on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Pretty sure you’ve only scratched the surface here Stu. Some day a Mikael Blomkvist is going to lay bare the…” Apr 10, 14:25
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “A stomach-churning glimpse into the hideous human cess-pit over which Redactor-in-Chief Swinney now presides post amnesiac Sturgeon’s tenure.” Apr 10, 13:47
freshmint on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “His left ear appears to be lobed while his right ear isn’t. Can’t be too many people around with that…” Apr 10, 13:47
Lorncal on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Looks like an AI-generated image of what a human male might look like if you’re trying to get a hang…” Apr 10, 13:45
Jennifer Livingston on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “I have never been exposed to a “were were” before. What do you know that I don’t? Is it something…” Apr 10, 13:43
Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Ban the lot. Problem solved. Pull the cash and watch them dash for cover.” Apr 10, 13:42
J Robertson on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “His bio ( such as it is ) bears the hallmark of carefully curated crap” Apr 10, 13:42
lothianlad on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “your last few articles highlight the levels of brit state interference in scottish politics. The SNP is utterly complicit!” Apr 10, 13:40
lothianlad on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Well Done Stu!!! yet again, the scottish govenment SNP brit friendly weirdos are being exposed. Thanks to you!. their brit…” Apr 10, 13:37
Rab Dickson on Not So Octopus: “I am almost sure that there would have been a few absolutely delightful people in the Nazi Party in 1930s.…” Apr 10, 13:11
M.E. on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Nono you got it wrong. He’s clearly an android. He’s Tim *Westworld*.” Apr 10, 13:07