The party is now primarily a vehicle for processing cash and funnelling it to carefully selected and ideologically vetted activists, mostly from the fundamentalist youth wing, who are given well-paid jobs working for MPs and MSPs or parachuted into council seats in return for their unquestioning loyalty to Nicola Sturgeon.
And at this, it must be admitted, the SNP is still a highly effective operation. Which is fortunate, because without UK government money it would be bankrupt.
Above are the Electoral Commission’s donation figures for the third quarter of 2022. They note that 100% of the SNP’s reportable income for that period came from the UK government’s coffers – a trait shared with Plaid Cymru, the SDLP and the DUP.
Given that three of those four parties are nationalists committed to removing various constituent parts of the UK, one might almost be tempted to commend Westminster’s generosity. But perhaps it knows exactly what it’s doing.
Word reaches us, readers, that Nicola Sturgeon was “furious” when she joined the most recent meeting of the SNP’s Westminster group by Skype. Her rage was driven by the suggestion that the party should trigger a Holyrood election to act as a de facto independence referendum, a policy we’re reliably told is supported by a number of MPs who are too scared of being browbeaten by Sturgeon in front of their colleagues to actually speak out in favour of it.
(We won’t mention their names at this point.)
Our source mentioned to us that they seemed to remember an interview in which the First Minister had revealed a possible reason for her extreme antipathy to the idea – one for the BBC’s extensive and rather good three-part documentary “Yes/No – Inside The Indyref”, which was broadcast in August 2019 and never seen again.
It’s not available on iPlayer or YouTube, but fortunately we happened to still have the show recorded on our Sky+ box, so we went to check, and lo and behold our source’s recollection was correct. Apologies for the slightly wonky quality of this video, as we had to record it off the TV screen.
You can’t move on social media today without tripping over effusive tweets from SNP MPs and MSPs singing the praises of departed Westminster leader Ian Blackford and admiring all his achievements in the position over the last five years, although weirdly nobody has actually listed any of them.
Or possibly the other way round, we’re not sure. All we know is that we’re always surging upwards and forwards but somehow never actually getting anywhere.
If anyone knows when “this process” will have ended and we’ll get our choice – or indeed what she achieved for Scotland in the Brexit negotiations – do let us know.
It’s more than two years now since we published this article, but it’s worth quickly going over it again, because there’s nothing on Earth more tedious than boneheads on social media going “Oh, you slag off the SNP but what’s YOUR plan if you’re so clever?”, who haven’t bothered to read any of the dozen times we’ve already answered that question since 25 months ago.
This is it. This is our plan. Try listening this time, thickos.
The SNP have been all over the place since Wednesday’s judgement of the Supreme Court. Astonishingly, the party hadn’t prepared an agreed line in the event of the Court ruling against it, with the result that various party figures had popped up with all sorts of different versions of what a supposed plebiscite election would mean.
Onlooker on Yelling at the tide: “Any updates on the Alex Salmond case? I hope it’s still going ahead. Be quite willing to kick money into…” Jan 22, 03:08
Saffron Robe on Yelling at the tide: “Well done, Stuart. Keep at them. No one is above the law and that includes the judiciary.” Jan 22, 01:06
AdamH on Yelling at the tide: “What would happen to an FOI request for the “correspondence with judicial colleague”?” Jan 22, 00:52
Jason Smoothpiece on Yelling at the tide: “Harrumph Know your place man.” Jan 21, 22:37
Marie on Yelling at the tide: “I have as much confidence in the Scottish judiciary as I have in Scotland’s politicians – zero.” Jan 21, 22:19
sarah on Yelling at the tide: “@ Dave G: “Judge Susan Walker – a member of the Diversity Taskforce…set up by the Senior President of Tribunals.”…” Jan 21, 22:08
Scot Finlayson on Yelling at the tide: “If there was a choice,and the way the world is unravelling, who knows, would you rather be governed by Westminster…” Jan 21, 21:45
Hatey McHateface on The Secondhand Amendment: “I hate when everybody ignores your posts, Northy. Something about the pathos of it all makes me well up. You…” Jan 21, 20:41
Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Really, Northy, buy a copy of Alf’s book? First, define the difference between sucking sycophancy and non-sucking sycophancy. Those of…” Jan 21, 20:30
Hatey McHateface on The Secondhand Amendment: “You’ve got the gas chambers and the incinerators, Confused. Let’s hope that’s enough to get Barbie back. This place just…” Jan 21, 19:52
Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “@Alf Baird The “coloniser’s historic, economic and cultural needs” would have been best served by Alex Salmond being banged up.…” Jan 21, 19:43
Willie on Yelling at the tide: “Good stuff again Rev. Your letter to the Tribunal President brings into sharp focus the very grave issues of concern…” Jan 21, 19:38
Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Sorry, Northy, you’ve already self-id-ed as a shit today. Self-id as a clown in a few days when the alert…” Jan 21, 19:34
Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Cracker of a post, Twat H. No random caps anywhere. You must have been a good boy. Looks like Santa…” Jan 21, 19:26
twathater on Yelling at the tide: “I have no doubt Professor Baird that irrespective of what you post Hatey McFuckwit would have to comment on it…” Jan 21, 17:22
sarah on The Secondhand Amendment: “Andy Wiltshire: “Does the entire Scottish judicial system have membership of the same Edinburgh club?” Is this the New Club…” Jan 21, 17:14
Colin Alexander on Yelling at the tide: “Remember: In Scotland, Public body / professional body complaint processes are designed to fob you off and frustrate any attempts…” Jan 21, 17:12
Cynicus on Yelling at the tide: “Ian Smith says: “Bear in mind that AI can be prompted to agree with the type of query it is…” Jan 21, 16:57
Northcode on Yelling at the tide: ““What an utter clown you are “Northcode” And who was it who forced me to run away from home in…” Jan 21, 16:56
Lorna Campbell on Yelling at the tide: “No legislation in existence, in Scotland or the UK, gives any man the right to enter female spaces, even where…” Jan 21, 16:31
Northcode on Yelling at the tide: “And you, Father, are a total embarrassment… period. Not least because of your over-reliance on the exclamation mark and the…” Jan 21, 16:00
Northcode on Yelling at the tide: ““Give up son…” No, Father… I will never give up, I will never surrender. And know this, oh giver of…” Jan 21, 15:52
Insider on Yelling at the tide: “Christ ! What an utter clown you are “Northcode” Give up son ! You’re a total embarrassment to the Indy…” Jan 21, 15:15
Northcode on Yelling at the tide: “Here’s anither yin taken fae the online “Dictionars o the Scots Leid”: SIN, adv., prep., conj. Also syn, sen, san(e),…” Jan 21, 14:58
Alf Baird on Yelling at the tide: ““the Scottish Legal System operates in a context free vacuum” The basic principle of any colonial justice system is that…” Jan 21, 14:51
lothianlad on Yelling at the tide: “stick with it warrior Stu! Thank you for all you do for truth and justice” Jan 21, 14:49