Alert readers were startled yesterday when a former UK Prime Minister who WASN’T Gordon Brown suddenly took it upon himself to lumber out of his crypt and unleash an unsolicited intervention in the general election campaign.
As apparently that’s now the requirement for anyone attempting to influence a vote in Britain, we’re sure Sir John – a man best remembered in the world of politics for cheating on his wife with one of his ministers and instituting the Cones Hotline – will remind us which constituency he’s standing for any minute now.
If you thought the right-wing press was having paroxysms at the weekend, readers, you’re going to love what they had lined up for the day of the SNP manifesto launch.
Let’s have a little tour of the London newsrooms, shall we?
The splendid video below is a short clip from one of a Scottish Labour “campaign rally” held on Saturday morning. (And we do mean Saturday morning – the gathering seen in the distance at the very beginning as Murphy walks up through a deserted Buchanan Street appear to be waiting outside the Sainsbury’s Local, which opens at 7am.)
One can only admire Anas Sarwar’s upbeat view of his audience. But from the broader perspective, readers might be forgiven for wondering what on Earth was going on.
Our alert readers will probably be aware of the psychological phenomenon commonly known as the five stages of grief. If not, there’s a rather good piece by Andrew Nicoll in today’s Scottish Sun about it in the context of Scottish Labour.
But while perceptive, Nicoll is a little behind the times, because it appears that the party’s branch office manager Jim Murphy has invented a sixth.
Welcome, viewers, to the new final stage of grief: delusion.
Impressive as it is in a party with Jackie Baillie in it, Kezia Dugdale has carved out quite a reputation in Scottish Labour as a specialist in making categorical statements of facts which turn out not to be true. So we were naturally sceptical when she claimed on today’s Sunday Politics Scotland that Stewart Hosie of the SNP hadn’t said whether a commitment to a second independence referendum would be in tomorrow’s SNP manifesto.
We thought that he had, and so did presenter Gordon Brewer, but Dugdale was most adamant – “I listened VERY carefully, very carefully indeed” – that he’d “dodged and dived” on the matter, and spent more than a minute of her interview saying so.
So we went back and checked, because that’s what we do.
Countless thousands of words – indeed, even an entire book – have been written by commentators and pundits right across the political spectrum about the long demise of the Labour Party in Scotland.
It remains to be seen whether the coming election will deliver the coup de grace that pollsters are predicting. Meanwhile, though, readers searching for an explanation but short on free time could do a lot worse than sit through this interview with the Scottish branch office deputy manager, Kezia Dugdale, from today’s Sunday Politics Scotland.
The Sunday Times front page today reports (although in fact we can’t find the story anywhere on its website or in its iPad app) the 8,745th “intervention” by Gordon Brown in Scottish politics, the thing which is at least notionally still his actual day job.
We’re going to need someone to explain to us why even the punch-drunk inhabitants of Scottish Labour HQ could possibly imagine that to be a good idea.
A variant on the story below appears in most of the right-wing press today.
That’s the Daily Mail version, which is the most detailed. The Express’s reporting was similar. But in order to manufacture a grievance on behalf of UKIP and the Tories, every paper which covers the story is required to torture the data beyond all reason.
In the wake of the latest Ashcroft polls, the only line being deployed by Scottish Labour is that the projected outcome of an SNP landslide would be great news for the Conservatives and lead to David Cameron returning in triumph to Downing Street. One would presume, then, that the Tory press is delighted by the prospect.
So let’s check out some stories from today’s Daily Mail and Scottish Daily Mail.
Northcode on Push The Button: “Are the Scots living in a movie? Arnold Schwarzenegger did it first back in 1990. It would take another nine…” Apr 27, 11:55
Alf Baird on Push The Button: ““an absolutely callous vicious and utter hatred for the natives” Of course, being colonised, us Scots are already subject to…” Apr 27, 11:17
Cynicus on Push The Button: “I am kinder than our host who does not mess around eviscerating you with probabilistic logic. I am open to…” Apr 27, 11:00
James Che on Push The Button: “First option-Red or blue button. Third option suicide by sticking a name tag on yourself and country. Forth option,- accepting…” Apr 27, 10:53
James Che on Push The Button: “The two red and blue button options are wether the populations want supposed governing bodies to do it for them…” Apr 27, 10:11
James Che on Push The Button: “Lornical explained Scotlands situation and its people very well on the 25th of April with remarks on subject of rational…” Apr 27, 09:27
Hatey McHateface on Push The Button: “Well, well. I read the question through twice, to ensure I understood it, then I chose Blue. Seemed bloody obvious…” Apr 27, 08:51
Chas on Push The Button: “What a load of shite…………. as usual.” Apr 27, 08:44
Captain Caveman on Push The Button: “*(Sorry, lots of annoying autocorrect gibberish there, but you get the gist)” Apr 27, 08:27
Captain Caveman on Push The Button: “I totally see your logic, but as human beings the situation is surely more nuanced? Speaking for myself, I simply…” Apr 27, 08:15
Angus on Push The Button: “Being a Rev., I am surprised it does not bother your conscience to vote red, given that a red majority…” Apr 27, 03:09
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Push The Button: “Man, these comments are a real disappointment.” Apr 27, 02:02
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “You know I edited all those front pages satirically, right?” Apr 27, 01:57
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Push The Button: “So, yes, stupid. Willing to risk death to appear “social” rather than actually think about what they’re doing.” Apr 27, 01:54
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Push The Button: ““ Does this not depend on your estimation of the trust level within the group doing the vote?” If you’re…” Apr 27, 01:53
James Barr Gardner on Push The Button: “I was once caught up in a redundancy situation, the dept had 10 staff, the management issued an edict, all…” Apr 27, 00:34
George Ferguson on Push The Button: “My daughter was a Graduate of the Royal Dick Veterinary School. And she was on the bus with us. She…” Apr 26, 22:12
Confused on Push The Button: “MAIRI MCALLAN SAYS WE NEED MORE MIGRANTS furgrowthunthuconmynetzero – brian wilson agrees, he says we need 20000 a year; did…” Apr 26, 22:02
Dan on Push The Button: “Hmm, regardez divide and rule in action. https://whocanivotefor.co.uk/elections/sp.r.2026-05-07/scottish-parliament-elections-regions/ So catch up in another 5 years for more of the same…” Apr 26, 21:41
Mark Beggan on Push The Button: “The left have created a Frankenstein they cannot control. This summer is going to be the ‘Summer of Hate’!” Apr 26, 20:14
Northcode on Push The Button: “Are you a knob or a stud? The word “button” originates from the Old French word “boton”, meaning “knob” or…” Apr 26, 20:09
Alf Baird on Push The Button: “Aye Northcode, the native ‘forgetting’ their past is a big part of colonialism, and that what is called ‘Scotland’ is…” Apr 26, 20:07
Northcode on Push The Button: ““What a load of shite. . . . . . . as usual.” Whereas the sparkling sentences of the unionist…” Apr 26, 20:05
Southernbystander on Push The Button: “But this is not an either or – helping others does not require that you have sorted your world out…” Apr 26, 20:00
Southernbystander on Push The Button: “Yes. This shifts the criticism of blue voters from virtual signalling wokerati to people with a conscience who worry voting…” Apr 26, 19:52
George Ferguson on Push The Button: “@Mark Beggan A few articles ago I detailed the precarious nature of the X38 bus route from Edinburgh to West…” Apr 26, 19:33
Steve Ashton on Push The Button: “Button! They tried to proof test the nuclear button. But the man there to press it had brains of dead…” Apr 26, 19:25
James on Push The Button: “Well, you’re the “shite” expert right enough… maaaaate.” Apr 26, 18:58
Chas on Push The Button: “What a load of shite……. as usual.” Apr 26, 18:30
Sven on Push The Button: “And, indeed, below the self proclaimed breast enhancer, the former David Paulden.” Apr 26, 18:09
