Let’s start off by losing some more friends. This site has no time for the Gaelic lobby. The obsolete language spoken by just 0.9% of Scotland’s population might be part of the nation’s “cultural heritage”, but so were burning witches and replacing Highlanders with sheep and we don’t do those any more either.
Being multilingual is an excellent thing, but the significant amount of time and effort taken to learn a literally-pointless second language (because everyone you can talk to in Gaelic already understood English) would be vastly better directed to picking up one that was actually of some use, and every extra fraction of a second spent scanning a road sign trying to find the bit you can read is a fraction of a second spent with your eyes off the road.
Non-primary native languages are a tool whose main utility in practice is at best the exclusion of outsiders, and at worst an expression of dodgy blood-and-soil ethnic nationalism. They’re a barrier to communication and an irritation to the vast majority of the population, who are made to feel like uncultured aliens in their own land.
But we’d still rather put up with Gaelic than complete idiots making our laws.
We were greatly amused to learn this morning that Professor Adam Tomkins of Glasgow University, the bad-tempered darling of the Scottish Conservatives and the only political pundit who can make Alan Cochrane of the Telegraph seem measured and thoughtful, plans to stand for election to the Scottish Parliament next May.
We suspect he’ll succeed, too. It now seems plain that Ruth Davidson’s move earlier this month from the Glasgow list to the Lothian one was a ploy to get Prof. Tomkins to the top of the former, and while a Tory list seat in Glasgow is by no means a certainty next year, it’s more likely than not.
(We’ll be somewhat startled if the irritable English academic finds the courage to even try contesting a constituency in Scotland’s largest city. It’s moderately possible that his abrasive hectoring of Scottish voters’ stupidity in continuing to elect the SNP might not go down too well in the council schemes of Easterhouse and Drumchapel.)
Trying to pick out the funniest line in the announcement is no easy task.
Yesterday we noted an interesting apparent shift in the BBC’s political stance with regard to Scotland. Two serving senior political reporters have made open attacks on the SNP, backed up by other media and politicians, seemingly abandoning all notions of the impartiality to which the BBC is bound by charter.
(The Guardian’s hostile editorial was particularly bizarre, suggesting that devolving control of broadcasting in Scotland to Holyrood would turn the BBC into a mouthpiece of government, which inescapably suggests that the current Westminster-controlled BBC is a tool of either Labour or the Tories, depending which one is in power.)
This morning’s edition of The Times is the latest to join the offensive.
You’d put this down as a slip of the tongue, but when it came in the middle of an extended bout of bodyswerving John Mackay’s straightforward question about a referendum on Trident, maybe Kezia Dugdale really was just saying what she meant.
Stat-pummelled readers will be glad to know that this is the last article we plan to write about the vagaries of the AMS electoral system, and how it might apply to next year’s Scottish Parliament election, for some time. This one also shouldn’t be full of tables and figures, so strap yourself in and let’s get this job finished.
We’ve only ourselves to blame, we’d be the first to admit. When we titled yesterday’s piece “AMS for lazy people” it was pretty much an invitation for people to get us to do their research for them, and so it proved.
Even as we slumped exhausted over a red-hot calculator, several readers wasted no time demanding a breakdown of how the mechanisms of the electoral system had affected last year’s European elections, in which UKIP defied some expectations (and delighted the Unionist parties and media) by taking a seat in Scotland.
The email we’ve had more than any other since the 8th of May is this one:
“Please can you explain how the Scottish election system works, and whether it’s a good idea for me as an SNP voter to give my list vote to someone else so as to ensure the maximum number of pro-Yes MSPs in Holyrood?”
We’d planned to leave that question until much nearer the relevant time, but to be honest we’re getting fed up of reading them, so let’s see if we can sort it out now.
Particularly alert readers may recall that we recently made a simple and seemingly innocuous Freedom Of Information request for the latest viewing/listening figures of two BBC Scotland politics programmes (Scotland 2015 and Good Morning Scotland), which was met with the standard BBC “get lost” response to any uppity licence-fee payer with the temerity to ask about how their money’s being spent.
We appealed to the Information Commissioner, and we’ve just received a prompt, and impressively detailed and specific, reply. We attach it below for your enlightenment.
For reasons best known to himself, and almost certainly NOT related to the recent publication of his new book, the BBC’s Nick Robinson has today chosen to reignite the issues surrounding his infamous questioning of Alex Salmond a week before last year’s independence referendum, claiming that the reaction to his presentation of the incident was reminiscent of “Putin’s Russia”.
The state broadcaster’s political correspondent then inflamed social media further by claiming on Twitter that a grassroots protest – neither instigated nor endorsed by the SNP or Yes Scotland – outside BBC Scotland’s headquarters in Glasgow a couple of days later was in fact organised by “a governing party”.
(Robinson also claimed the mob had been 4000-strong, although the BBC’s own report had put the figure at “up to 1000”. The demo was sedate and entirely peaceful – no arrests were made, nobody was hurt and no damage was caused.)
The footage showing that Robinson had lied on air about his encounter with Salmond was captured and published by this website, in a pair of videos which garnered well over 600,000 views on YouTube and one of the most-read posts in Wings history.
When we mentioned that fact earlier today, a reader asked what other posts were in the top 10. So we looked, and noticed that the biggest ones had a common theme.
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Oops that should have been “In times of famine… This is what Goebbels wrote in his diary when his boss…” Mar 28, 11:07
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Der giftswerg, 1941. “I’m times of famine even the devil eats flies.”” Mar 28, 10:53
Sven on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: ““A liar knows that he is a liar, but one who speaks mere portions of truth in order to deceive…” Mar 28, 09:54
Alf Baird on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Dinna fash yersel, Northcode, mair is revealed ivvery day aboot Scotland’s colonial condeetion: “Indictment at the United Nations: A Report…” Mar 28, 09:12
Northcode on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “In 1941, Goebbels wrote: “The English follow the principle that when one lies, one should lie big, and stick to…” Mar 28, 08:55
Northcode on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Joe Goebbels’ ‘Big Boss’, *Adalwolf, had already written about the ‘Big Lie’ in his best seller (only rivalled in sales…” Mar 28, 08:32
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “@Geri I was going to lend you my first edition copy of 1984 but it would be like giving a…” Mar 28, 01:18
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “That’s an aye then & even I spotted that in two seconds flat. PS, you do know yer ballot is…” Mar 27, 23:03
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “That’s like asking a pedophile to take charge of the day care centre.” Mar 27, 21:23
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: ““A lie told often enough becomes the truth.” Vladimir Lenin.” Mar 27, 21:06
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: ““The price we pay for freedom is the right to disagree.” Benjamin Franklin.” Mar 27, 21:00
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Are you scared James? Because if the Fascists get power in England and Wales it’s good night woo woo land.” Mar 27, 20:54
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Maybe Ayes an maybe Naws. Like the Indy election you’ll never know. That’s the beauty of the ballot box.” Mar 27, 20:49
Alf Baird on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “One wonders whose rights public inquiries undertaken within colonial societies would seek to defend, the colonizer or the colonized?” Mar 27, 20:41
agentx on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Captain Caveman says: I’m a Reform voter and I’m still here. _______________________________________________- thanks – you could have said that the…” Mar 27, 19:40
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Have you heard what ex Tory MP Andrew Bridgen says about these gangs? Go watch him whistleblow what is really…” Mar 27, 19:35
Captain Caveman on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “You asked were there any Reform voters left on here and I said “Hi!” Not really sure how ambiguous that…” Mar 27, 19:12
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Was there any to begin with? They’re just disgruntled Tories. Same shit, different party. Do we know what it is…” Mar 27, 19:12
agentx on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: ““On February 25, 2026, the Scottish Government ordered a public inquiry into grooming gangs, marking a significant shift in position…” Mar 27, 19:10
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “BLOG PÀRLAMAID NA h-ALBA Fiosrachadh is naidheachd bho Phàrlamaid na h-Alba Tha an seisean pàrlamaideach a-nis air tighinn gu crìch…” Mar 27, 19:07
Mo on In Your Name: “They all need punted asap! #WomenAndChildrensSafetyMatters” Mar 27, 18:47
Young Lochinvar on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Thanks Lorncal I’m sick of “demeaning and discriminatory” whining ie because it’ll find you out. I don’t know if it’s…” Mar 27, 18:45
Mo on In Your Name: “They all need punted asap! #WomenAndChildrensSafetyMatters” Mar 27, 18:45
Captain Caveman on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Hi! 🙂 In a similar vein, are there any SNP, Labour, Green or Lib Dumb voters left on here? ‘Cause…” Mar 27, 18:27
twathater on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “WOW!!!! every word true and all it takes is for people to realise THIS is what has been happening for…” Mar 27, 18:18
Young Lochinvar on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Yes indeed Geri But the “upset” gays present at the time must have been Tories who were prepared to haud…” Mar 27, 18:13
