The dogged determination of Scottish Labour to insult the Scottish electorate is a source of constant slack-jawed astonishment to us. Over the years we’ve lost count of the number of times the party’s politicians have effectively said “People are just too stupid to vote for us”, in the apparent belief that abuse is the way to win back support.
But it’s not always so overt. The subtler ways in which the party treats voters like morons include the assumption that people’s memories only go back to yesterday’s newspapers, and there can surely be no more stark illustration than its recent adoption of the attack line that the SNP are standing “shoulder to shoulder with the Tories”.
An interesting and illuminating exchange has taken place in the last few days between the First Minister and Times columnist Kenny Farquharson, one of the many senior journalists who’ve recently jumped from the sinking ship of The Scotsman to take up less prestigious but more secure positions elsewhere.
It started on Saturday night, when Farquharson tweeted this:
In what may be a new all-time low for the broadsheet press in Scotland, this morning’s Scottish edition of the Telegraph makes a front-page lead story out of a petition with a pathetic 4500 signatures, put together by some extremist Yoon nutters to express their rage that there might be a peak-time news show actually made in Scotland.
The idea of a so-called “Scottish Six”, whereby the main six o’clock news bulletin would be a single programme made by BBC Scotland and covering Scottish, UK and world news – rather than the current half-hour London-centric UK programme followed by 30 minutes of regional murdur’n’fitba in Reporting Scotland – has been exercising the media (and pretty much nobody else) for the best part of 20 years.
But now it’s become a constitutional battleground, and the funny thing about it is that the two sides are fighting bitterly over something neither of them actually really wants.
Put your hands on your hearts, readers, and tell us that in the event of Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin leading the USA and Russia a year or so from now, you can’t see this actually literally happening. [EDIT: The fight, not nuclear apocalypse. Obviously.]
Look us straight in the eye and tell us there’s a 0% chance.
Newspaper sales figures in Scotland now come out in a patchy and unco-ordinated sort of way, with different frequencies and at different times of year, so we thought it’d be worth collecting them together for easy reference.
The numbers below are the most recent figures for each title that we know of – for papers classed as “national” that means November last year, and for those counted as “regional” (which includes the Scotsman and Herald titles) it’s this month.
Figures have all been rounded to the nearest 100, and increase/decrease stats refer in all cases to the corresponding sales for one year previously.
So just to clear that up: four times £12 million is £200 million. The mystery of why people are increasingly reluctant to believe what they read in newspapers continues.
So after all the kerfuffle and commotion and comedy, a deal was done, of sorts. The unsquareable circle wasn’t squared, but the day of facing up to it was punted down the line for five years, by which point everyone hopes that it’ll be someone else’s problem. (Which is certainly the case for David Cameron.)
Every newspaper in Scotland tomorrow will look like this:
Ian Smith on The Party Of The Dead: “It was Glasgow that first made Arday a full time prof. That was the time to put his academic record…” Aug 7, 10:21
James Che on The Party Of The Dead: “100% Yes, We don,t require a new movement, we require our own parliament with our own people running it. Rather…” Aug 7, 09:52
James Che on The Party Of The Dead: “The insanity of having two English governing bodies means both sides of the border craziness. After all England suggested devolution…” Aug 7, 09:40
100%Yes on The Party Of The Dead: “The fall of the SNP poses a bigger problem not for Independence that’ll happen without the SNP, its The National,…” Aug 7, 09:18
James Che on The Party Of The Dead: “Alex spoke about there being no actual Union between Scotland and England but took the wrong road in placing party…” Aug 7, 09:10
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Mail absolutely ripping into the scarce believable story that is Jason Arday: https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-16035019/Labour-scandal-woke-dogma.html I really want to believe that this…” Aug 7, 08:43
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Cheers, Alf, that’s a great help. I’d ask you for a weather forecast, but I’m confident you’re gonna say that…” Aug 7, 08:05
Alf Baird on The Party Of The Dead: ““What happens next?” Postcolonial theory is clear, Hatey, there are only two possible outcomes with colonialism (Memmi): 1. colonialism is…” Aug 7, 07:56
Stevie on The Party Of The Dead: “Wish they would just, collapse and disappear – repugnant lot. The MacGhost of a dream that should now just fade…” Aug 6, 23:34
Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “Sorry Meant to add.. The “next” party.. What’s to stop the grifters and SPADS from just jumping ship to the…” Aug 6, 22:37
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Grift: “I think that anybody predicting anything for 5 years in the future really isn’t paying attention to the news. But…” Aug 6, 22:25
Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “100 percenter That raises the fundamental problem. If an alternative Indy party is not nurtured then the death of the…” Aug 6, 22:17
Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “Powerful post indeed Red. Needed said.” Aug 6, 22:00
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: ““all part of the decolonization process (Fanon)”, eh, Alf? What does Fanon say about the hijab and tea towel wearers?…” Aug 6, 21:44
Skip_NC on The Party Of The Dead: “The Express? Well that explains it. I prefer the Beano.” Aug 6, 21:37
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: ““Nicola could not have done this alone” The killer punch line in a knock out post.” Aug 6, 21:36
Andrew Kidd on The Party Of The Dead: “Large amount of assets disposed of. Looks like the auditors have done a thorough inventory of what was actually owned…” Aug 6, 21:27
James Barr Gardner on The Party Of The Dead: “If the SNP gang bankrupt an’ restart again wull it be ca’d the Newco SNP, jist asking fer a freind……..” Aug 6, 21:14
Bilbo on The Party Of The Dead: “Great post Red. I only got involved in independence around late 2000’s but I always remembered that nationalism was a…” Aug 6, 21:12
James Barr Gardner on The Party Of The Dead: “Fraser MacDonald left SNP in February 2026. He took over from Murray Foote who quit after 14 months in the…” Aug 6, 21:07
100%Yes on The Party Of The Dead: “The SNP is refusing to pay it back, if I’m correct.” Aug 6, 20:24
Alf Baird on The Party Of The Dead: “Helpful analysis, Red, and where the impending ‘disintegration’ of a national party that has been ‘co-opted by colonialism’ and which…” Aug 6, 20:16
100%Yes on The Party Of The Dead: “Sorry Naw, clad YES. The SNP lost its true supporters and ended up with tits and morons as a membership…” Aug 6, 20:13
Nicky T Naquetti on The Party Of The Dead: ““Heather Herbert”…? “Humbert Humbert”, moar like” Aug 6, 19:15
Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “Whoa there LL!! I was a brickies labourer prior to enlisting, it was a blistering hot summer way back then…” Aug 6, 18:43
Aidan on Anatomy Of A Grift: ““Any money you send us will be split as usual between running costs, commissioning polls, a wage for myself and…” Aug 6, 18:41
Red on The Party Of The Dead: “Lothianlad mentioned Nicola Sturgeon as the architect of the SNP’s demise. She is greatly responsible, but the rot set in…” Aug 6, 18:14
Dan on Anatomy Of A Grift: “What’s the status of a new Wee Blue Book and revenues raised for producing it? https://wingsoverscotland.com/the-loose-end https://donorbox.org/last-call” Aug 6, 18:00
