Put your hands on your hearts, readers, and tell us that in the event of Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin leading the USA and Russia a year or so from now, you can’t see this actually literally happening. [EDIT: The fight, not nuclear apocalypse. Obviously.]
Look us straight in the eye and tell us there’s a 0% chance.
Newspaper sales figures in Scotland now come out in a patchy and unco-ordinated sort of way, with different frequencies and at different times of year, so we thought it’d be worth collecting them together for easy reference.
The numbers below are the most recent figures for each title that we know of – for papers classed as “national” that means November last year, and for those counted as “regional” (which includes the Scotsman and Herald titles) it’s this month.
Figures have all been rounded to the nearest 100, and increase/decrease stats refer in all cases to the corresponding sales for one year previously.
So just to clear that up: four times £12 million is £200 million. The mystery of why people are increasingly reluctant to believe what they read in newspapers continues.
So after all the kerfuffle and commotion and comedy, a deal was done, of sorts. The unsquareable circle wasn’t squared, but the day of facing up to it was punted down the line for five years, by which point everyone hopes that it’ll be someone else’s problem. (Which is certainly the case for David Cameron.)
Every newspaper in Scotland tomorrow will look like this:
It’s quite incredible that someone with Jim Sillars’ political experience should be so naive about the tactics surrounding the EU referendum. Regardless of your feelings on the EU itself, there’s absolutely no point in any supporter of Scottish independence voting Leave this June, and here’s why.
Alert readers can’t have failed to notice a desperate Scottish Labour dusting off the old “Tartan Tories” attack on the SNP recently, over the Nats’ unwillingness to join in with Kezia Dugdale’s kerrazy kaper of hiking up income tax.
So after today we can only assume they’ll be looking for some similarly pithy zingers for their colleagues in Wales. They can have this one for free.
Bilbo on Seven Days Too Long: “@ Geri Have you not considered that Polanski, as a person well known in the media at the present time,…” May 3, 11:23
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “Recognising that the elections held in Scotland are actually the elections of United kingdom of Anglo-Irish parliament agreement 1800 and…” May 3, 11:21
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “These records can be checked, Once you dissolve one of the Countries of only two parties to the 1706/07 treaty…” May 3, 11:06
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “Today The UK is the united kingdom and parliament of England and Ireland, And does not include Scotland (twice).” May 3, 10:56
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “Scotland regained its status as an independent Country in 1707 and in 1800 respectively. Minus a monarch. Due to the…” May 3, 10:53
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “There has not been a Scottish parliament in the parliament of Westminster until the united kingdom of The new state…” May 3, 10:40
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “Englands parliament which it rebranded as the parliament of Great Britain held NO Scottish parliament since 1707, Twice Scotland had…” May 3, 10:19
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “The Anglo- Scottish parliament was dissolved 1800, resulting in a ceased union parliament of Great Britain Meaning that the transferred…” May 3, 10:07
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Bilbo, He probably apologised because he’d have received the Corbyn treatment. Bullied, intimidated, threatened by media mauling, Lawfare etc. I’ve…” May 3, 10:02
Bilbo on Seven Days Too Long: “@ James Curious how the trolls have been quiet for a while and then they coming piling in here just…” May 3, 10:01
Bilbo on Seven Days Too Long: “If anybody who doesn’t realise that the SNP can’t deliver independence by now isn’t going to change their mind to…” May 3, 09:57
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “How, where and when, The case for lord gray, Hansard, Debate, a) That the kingdoms of Scotland and England continue…” May 3, 09:56
Northcode on Seven Days Too Long: “Yet another excellent comment by Geri. The rhetoric is strong in this one…” May 3, 09:42
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: ““Didn’t you also assert that our planes would never get off the ground?” Wrong conflict, shitface. Do keep up with…” May 3, 09:21
Northcode on Seven Days Too Long: ““I disavow nothing.” Ouch!! I suspect even God Himself is having a divine chuckle at Geri’s devilish comment. Geri puts…” May 3, 09:19
Captain Caveman on Seven Days Too Long: “@“Geri” 13:35 Well, I’d say your bizarre sentiments and misplaced sense of priorities serves as a handy “User Guide” for…” May 3, 09:15
Sven on Seven Days Too Long: “I’d guess that their plan B will be the same as it’s always been, 100%. That is, to make plan…” May 3, 08:54
100%Yes on Seven Days Too Long: “The SNP getting a majority isn’t a bad thing!! When the UKG turns it down the SNP has going to…” May 3, 08:02
Bilbo on Seven Days Too Long: “@ Sven You are right and it is wishful thinking on my part that these revelations about Mr Paulden/Polanksi conveniently…” May 3, 08:01
Bilbo on Seven Days Too Long: “Just to add as a thought from my previous reply, it’s ironic that while there is so much hate towards…” May 3, 07:50
Sven on Seven Days Too Long: “Hi Bilbo, In direct reply to your point, I greatly doubt that the now retracted comment by the man once…” May 3, 07:28
Bilbo on Seven Days Too Long: “The independence debate is framed that an iScotland would be in billions and billions of debt at time of creation…” May 3, 07:09
Bilbo on Seven Days Too Long: “@ Cynicus Ah, If it’s happening to other people then it’s something to do with the site. Either the Rev…” May 3, 06:48
Bilbo on Seven Days Too Long: “The replies to my post about the Greens yesterday which started this particular debate didn’t go the way I had…” May 3, 06:45
twathater on Seven Days Too Long: “@ Sven and Geri , apparently this guy had already previously stabbed a police officer and an innocent person so…” May 3, 03:41
twathater on Seven Days Too Long: “Geri I have taken out shares in SAVLON due to you continually BURNING hatey Mc Fuckwit ,Aydan and the cave…” May 3, 03:03
Cynicus on Seven Days Too Long: “I had the same porn site links problem some days ago. Exactly as described above. I assumed that I’d been…” May 3, 01:06
Young Lochinvar on Seven Days Too Long: “IM Maybe there are more queers than has been credited to date.. Not forgetting egg lovers of course..” May 3, 00:39
Young Lochinvar on Seven Days Too Long: “Beggars @ 11.45 Pot and kettle Ad0lf..” May 3, 00:33
Young Lochinvar on Seven Days Too Long: “James @ 9.51 “Shower of b8st8rds” is what yer looking for James..” May 3, 00:29
