Here’s the Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron, speaking to BBC News this morning and giving a striking illustration of the term “dancing on the head of a pin”.
Comically, his excuse for demanding another referendum on leaving the EU while opposing a second Scottish independence referendum is that his new EU vote would be a completely different question – he’d be asking voters if they wanted to accept the Brexit deal and exit from the EU (which one might reasonably summarise on the ballot paper as “Leave”), or to refuse to approve the deal and stay in the EU (or put another way, “Remain”).
Glad we cleared that up, then. But then it got weirder.
The announcement that the Scottish Government would seek the uncontested legal right to hold a second independence referendum met with an outpouring of rage and ignorance from the massed ranks of the UK media that was in one sense entirely predictable yet still startling in its fury and ferocity.
Most prominent was the assertion, stated as fact by every pundit and broadcaster – including those required by law to be fair and impartial – that a second referendum would be conducted in the environment of a significantly worse economic case.
And that’s a remarkable claim, because the indisputable fact is that nobody has the slightest clue what the economic case for No will be.
Judging by the first 24 hours, we’re in for a two-year festival of utter horror from the UK and Scottish media. Yesterday saw a never-ending parade of metrosplaining idiots dragged willingly in front of cameras and microphones to pontificate their clueless and mind-numbingly ignorant drivel about Scotland.
It wasn’t possible to keep track of it all, because it was frequently happening on five channels at once, and it was harder still to watch it for any extended period of time without hurling a brick through the screen in frustration at the offensive stupidity of it.
Feeding into that was a stream of Scottish politicians who actually did know better, but who are too catastrophically dim to adapt to changing circumstances and had no strategy other than to endlessly repeat the same cretinous soundbites over and over.
(Adam Tomkins in particular was ubiquitous, spending what felt like several hours on various airwaves reciting the same brainless 10-second schtick forever.)
The constitutional politics of the UK and Scotland are in flux, and many aspects of the situation are complicated. But quite a lot of them aren’t, and if we’re all going to make it through the next two years without stabbing each other in the throat, it’d be a lot better if everyone accepted the things that are definite, empirical, indisputable facts.
Alert readers will of course be aware that one of this site’s most frequently-recurring themes is “phantom news”, whereby events or unpleasant opinions that newspapers or broadcasters really want to have happened are conveniently brought to life, either by some random nobody on the internet, or an unnamed “source” or “insider”.
So when Nicola Sturgeon did something today that nearly everyone in the Northern Hemisphere knew she was going to do sometime soon, but wasn’t expecting just yet, there wasn’t time to prepare actual real people with the required quotes.
In the modern media world, though, that isn’t a problem.
diabloandco on Irony you can’t buy: “Thanks Alf! The Caledonian Isles is a bit elderly much like me!” Mar 23, 20:30
diabloandco on Irony you can’t buy: “Thanks Alf! The Caledonian Isles is a bit elderly much like me!” Mar 23, 20:25
Iain More on Irony you can’t buy: “Re Iran war . Poor wee stupid Norway is laughing all the way to the Sassanach Offshore Tax Haven Banks.…” Mar 23, 20:07
twathater on Irony you can’t buy: “It is sometimes extremely difficult to gauge how stupid some people really are , but time and time again they…” Mar 23, 18:19
Aidan on Irony you can’t buy: “As much as it pains me to say this, I am inclined to agree with James here. This feels like…” Mar 23, 18:06
Alf Baird on Irony you can’t buy: ““Has your position now changed” Nothing of any significance can change in a colony until it becomes independent and in…” Mar 23, 18:03
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: ““Alf Baird says: 20 March, 2026 at 9:11 am My preference would be for Scotland to reduce dependence on England’s…” Mar 23, 15:52
Del G on Irony you can’t buy: “First I wash my clothes. Then I dry them. Then I do the irony.” Mar 23, 15:06
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: ““London governments sold Scotland’s public utilities including port monopolies for peanuts based on the specific argument that private owners would…” Mar 23, 12:43
James on Irony you can’t buy: “Yoon Troll X; “A £3m funding pledge…” LOL. ‘Here’s some crumbs, Jock’” Mar 23, 11:56
Alf Baird on Irony you can’t buy: ““investment in Rosyth from the UK’s Growth Mission Fund” London governments sold Scotland’s public utilities including port monopolies for peanuts…” Mar 23, 11:31
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: ““A £3m funding pledge for a Scottish port comes with hopes that a new ferry service to France will set…” Mar 23, 11:01
Alf Baird on Irony you can’t buy: “Fog should not necessarily prevent a sailing. Modern ships have excellent navigation systems, they can tell what is around them.…” Mar 23, 10:42
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “The SNP & it’s membership have been completely captured. There is zero point in hoping for a road to Damascus…” Mar 23, 09:54
Mark Beggan on Irony you can’t buy: “What about building tunnels. Lots and lots of tunnels.” Mar 23, 09:02
diabloandco on Irony you can’t buy: “A question for Alf with his maritime hat on, I thought ships sailed on merrily in fog only to discover…” Mar 23, 08:50
diabloandco on Irony you can’t buy: “Wheesht YL! – It might hear you and return to make me scroll on by ad nauseam.” Mar 23, 08:43
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “I posted a video from The Independence Forum, here is the video link again, if you haven’t watched the video…” Mar 23, 08:32
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “Iran has responded to Trumps rant with ultimatums of their own. I’ll raise ye with five of oors.. They weren’t…” Mar 23, 01:24
Young Lochinvar on Irony you can’t buy: “Who, the doped-up out of control trigger-happy half trained conscript IDF? They’ll kill anything on 2 legs, four legs and…” Mar 23, 00:53
Young Lochinvar on Irony you can’t buy: “Just where is Hatey? I see death now stalks the w3st b8nk.. What’s the bets ol’ Hatey is over there…” Mar 23, 00:47
Mark Beggan on Irony you can’t buy: “The hour of doom is at hand for the Iranian people. Their chance to free themselves from a terror not…” Mar 23, 00:30
DaveL on Irony you can’t buy: “You’ll notice also how they’re staying away from the phrase ‘weapons of mass destruction’, WMD. They just say atomic bomb,…” Mar 22, 22:08
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “The Labour party should be shunned just as equally as the Tories are and run out of Scotland. They’ve been…” Mar 22, 21:50
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “They passed that point with a Jenny side. Issy doesn’t work alone. Everything needs American approval. His BS he’s telling…” Mar 22, 21:38
sam on Irony you can’t buy: “Trump’s adventure in the Niddle East is likely to lead to a humanitarian disaster there and a more repressive regime…” Mar 22, 21:22
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “Aye, Alf. They didn’t serve under a Scottish political party. They served under the colonisers & not one of them…” Mar 22, 21:15
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Africa. New Orleans was a French colony. They sold it to the Americans.” Mar 22, 20:56
