She’s currently contesting Edinburgh West, which the party has some credible hopes of winning, having held the seat for almost 20 years prior to 2015. And it seems that her former employer has decided to try to give her a helping hand.
And, y’know, they’re really not allowed to do that.
Something really quite strange happened yesterday. The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom was caught red-handed in the act of telling a bare-faced, unarguable lie in the middle of a general election campaign, and nobody cared.
Reacting to the Crown Prosecution Service decision not to prosecute dozens of Tory MPs who’d broken the law in getting elected in 2015, the PM offered up a quote, which was reported in most of the newspapers:
Nice wee bit of snark on “all the major parties, and the Scottish nationalists” there. But there’s a slight problem with the statement, which is that it’s an absolute lie.
In the last few days we’ve been talking a lot about the bizarre perversion of arithmetic that now seems to dominate political campaigning in the UK, and which has the media so tied in knots that the poor Telegraph now thinks nothing of saying the SNP gained council seats, lost them and gained them again in the space of four paragraphs.
But numbers are confusing and we’re very hungry at the moment after some major dental surgery made eating difficult, so we weren’t really paying attention until Ruth Davidson started talking about pies.
Most of the papers today are full of stories screaming hysterically about a (real, but somewhat exaggerated) decline in Scottish educational standards. But if the contents of those papers are anything to go by, Scotland’s schools have been disgorging idiots into the general population for a lot longer than the last 10 years.
He’d very kindly sent us a copy of the same article he’d sent the Beeb. We attach it below. We’ve highlighted in bold the only bits that didn’t make it into the BBC piece.
When our dear old pal the Scottish Labour super-goon Duncan Hothersall tweeted this earlier today, we just couldn’t resist a wee fact-check. We love to see people take the moral high ground, but numbers are fluid these days and you can’t be too careful.
Some manner of strange, alien vortex swallowed the very concept of arithmetic as we know it earlier this evening. The answer to the question “what is 431 minus 425?” was variously reported by the media as -7, -14, +31 and -30, with nowhere that we could find offering the seemingly obvious answer of “6”. But that was only the beginning.
Because language wasn’t immune from the sudden redefinitions either. The Tories, who finished 155 seats behind the SNP, nevertheless proclaimed themselves not only the winners of the election, but the sole winners.
Northcode on These Words Are My Own: “Why this, why now – were my immediate thoughts on hearing Davis’s speech. The speech looked like it was about…” Jul 18, 09:08
100%Yes on These Words Are My Own: “She won’t challenge you in the courts she’d have to use her own money.” Jul 18, 09:04
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: “You’re onto something there, Jay. Keep going until you’ve uncovered evidence for extra-terrestrial interference and then wind back a little.…” Jul 18, 08:45
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: ““Since everyone is getting the boot into Cranky” Let me just correct you there, Mark. “Since everyone here is getting…” Jul 18, 08:36
Mike on These Words Are My Own: “Perhaps above all, it’s her sheer hypocrisy and sanctimonious nature that makes her so loathsome. Waxing about being kind, progressive…” Jul 18, 08:33
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: “Not wanting to rain on your parade, Jay (well maybe just a wee shower), but you’ve already noted one of…” Jul 18, 08:28
Mark Beggan on These Words Are My Own: “Blaming MI5 for sturgeons crimes against the Scottish people is as ridiculous and wishful thinking as the money spent on…” Jul 18, 08:17
Slim Jim on These Words Are My Own: “Thank you for everything you’ve done here Rev. I know who I believe…and it ain’t Nick-ola.” Jul 18, 08:17
Nicky T Naquetti on These Words Are My Own: “You, Sir, are the champion that Scotland needs right now. Thank you for your valiant and tenacious pusuit of the…” Jul 18, 08:14
ScottieDog on These Words Are My Own: “Taking on a brit state asset. All da best” Jul 18, 08:06
Mike D on These Words Are My Own: “Dubai? America? I’m sure m15 will pave the way.” Jul 18, 08:01
prj on These Words Are My Own: “in 2017 Alex Salmond was putting a bid in to purchase the Scotsman Newspaper it was at this time the…” Jul 18, 07:56
Hatey McHateface on A Matter Of Declinature: ““she sank trying to run aground” Man Auld Lochnagar! Please tell us you never tried to join the RN.” Jul 18, 07:52
Jay on These Words Are My Own: “Does anyone know how and why the time allowed to David Davis MP was reduced to 4 minutes? It was…” Jul 18, 07:52
Mike D on These Words Are My Own: “Dubai? America? I’m sure m15 will pave the way.” Jul 18, 07:43
Al Dente on These Words Are My Own: “If you need Anwar as your lawyer, you’re guilty as hell.” Jul 18, 07:12
Effijy on These Words Are My Own: “The other question that I’m scratching my head about is why. Sturgeon is First Minister of her country. The job…” Jul 18, 07:10
Turnbulldrier on These Words Are My Own: “Question. Can the full 10min speech be entered into the record in the HOC or is it only content that…” Jul 18, 07:03
Young Lochinvar on These Words Are My Own: “This is all fascinating Rev Gaun yersel.. However one wee thing that whispers in my ear, amongst others you have…” Jul 18, 04:20
Mark Beggan on These Words Are My Own: “It’s the crap they spent the money on that gets people. A national scandal that involves the very highest of…” Jul 18, 02:07
Young Lochinvar on A Matter Of Declinature: “James You got in before me there as I had the 19th noted. Salutations anyway my friend! And correct about…” Jul 18, 01:59
Young Lochinvar on These Words Are My Own: “AH But, but.. “She loved that necklace, so why should she” surrender any of the items??!? Honestly, who speaks like…” Jul 18, 01:28
James on These Words Are My Own: “What a brass neck she has. Always the victim, always. Her time in court will come, Salmond will get justice.…” Jul 18, 01:13
Angus on These Words Are My Own: “Masterstroke by Stuart to challenge the biggest coward, the biggest tractor and the biggest liar in Scottish history who has…” Jul 18, 01:03
Angus on These Words Are My Own: “Utmost thanks to David Davis for exposing the utter corruption of the Scottish state. Can he not also name the…” Jul 18, 00:55
Angus on These Words Are My Own: ““What happened with the £60,000-worth of items that were dropped from the indictment: the hairstylers, the lingerie and the books…” Jul 18, 00:47
Heaver on These Words Are My Own: “She will flee justice by going abroad. Where? That could be revealing. The alphabetty accusers will be checking their passports…” Jul 18, 00:43
Jay on These Words Are My Own: “It is regrettable that the House of Commons at Westminster had to be the channel through which Sturgeon/Murrell might be…” Jul 18, 00:31
Oneliner on These Words Are My Own: “MI5 is working on a plan to save her. Apparently they are not averse to lying in court if it…” Jul 18, 00:22
