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Archive for the ‘wtf’


Missing: one plot 140

Posted on July 31, 2014 by

We can only assume the No campaign and media are in a growing panic about the imminent TV showdown between Alex Salmond and Alistair Darling or something. Even by the high previous standards of insanity from the UK side of the referendum debate, this week has seen something of a disintegration in sanity.

Apart from the usual flood of mad scare stories, we’ve had papers like the Scotsman, Daily Record and Press & Journal promoting a ludicrous poll of a couple of hundred hand-picked expats. We’ve had the Guardian’s Martin Kettle competing with the Mail’s Simon Heffer for the most embarrassingly moronic vision of a post-independence future yet committed to print. (This time, a Yes vote sparks a new civil war in Ireland.)

And then there’s this:

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Commonwealth Games begin 355

Posted on July 23, 2014 by

Scotland enjoys the opening ceremony.

orange

The BBC, home of the facts 387

Posted on July 23, 2014 by

There’s an article on the BBC website today with the self-explanatory title of “Scottish independence: How would the UK fare without Scotland?”

bbcfacts

On the left is what it said yesterday (that losing Scotland would be bad for the UK). On the right is what it says today (that losing Scotland would be good for the UK).

Does anyone know what calamity befell Scotland’s economy overnight?

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Return of the living dead 207

Posted on July 20, 2014 by

For independence supporters of a certain age, the 1979 devolution referendum is one of the most infamous moments in Scottish history. While a wafer-thin majority of Scots voted Yes to devolution, an electoral fiddle conceived by a Labour MP meant that it didn’t happen, and part of the reason was that in effect, dead people were counted as No votes.

(We won’t go into all the details here, but basically an impossible threshold was set for turnout, and people who’d died but hadn’t yet been removed from the electoral roll were counted towards the calculation of that threshold.)

We were put in mind of it by an odd development this evening.

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The guest editor 146

Posted on July 12, 2014 by

We assume Danny Alexander has been writing for the Record this morning.

record3bn

We still haven’t been issued with our special UK Goverment Scottish Independence Costs Calculator by the Treasury, but we nevertheless still feel fairly confident that £550 million minus £250 million is £300 million, not £3 billion.

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This could be a record 259

Posted on July 05, 2014 by

There was an article on independence in the Huffington Post yesterday, which we’ve only just seen. Penned by one Dr Nicholas M Almond, a “cognitive neuropsychologist and author” who also has cerebral palsy – a physically debilitating condition but one which doesn’t affect mental capacity in any way – we think it may, word for word, be the most spectacularly ill-informed and offensively moronic article on the subject of Scotland ever to appear in a recognised and vaguely respectable publication.

howlmoon

For fun, we thought we’d count the errors.

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Twitching corpse stamped on 287

Posted on June 13, 2014 by

Daily Mail columnist Jan Moir has a piece today on the nasty comments a tiny handful of idiots made to JK Rowling this week, which – unlike the alleged “barrage” of abuse supposedly unleashed against Labour activist Clare Lally – can at least definitely be said to have happened.

janmoir

The piece is a tedious one-sided rant, but at the end something awesome happens.

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The missing (hundreds of) millions 114

Posted on June 04, 2014 by

Today’s papers are full of a report from right-wing thinktank the Institute for Fiscal Studies proclaiming that an independent Scotland would be even more unaffordable than the last time it was completely unaffordable, tax increases, public spending cuts, plagues of frogs, yada yada yada.

(We’re paraphrasing the Executive Summary there somewhat, but that’s the gist.)

We’re just not sure everyone’s got their sums right.

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Another one of our blackouts 142

Posted on June 01, 2014 by

We’ve been toasting in the sun with the Wings Emergency Kitten most of today, readers, celebrating the fact that Wings Over Scotland now has more unique readers per month than the sales of any Scottish newspaper.

(As of May we’re reaching 253,000 people monthly, whereas the best-selling paper, the Scottish Sun, shifts 248,000 copies. It is, of course, a ridiculously unfair comparison for all sorts of reasons, but it’s still nice as a purely symbolic milestone.)

Even so, when an alert reader sent us a picture of today’s Scottish Sunday Express we wondered if we might have baked our brains a bit too much, because it carried a feature about something that we didn’t remember doing at all.

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Working for the Yankee dollar 148

Posted on May 18, 2014 by

It’s been a grim sort of day today, so let’s finish off with something a bit lighter.

“William Wallace, before Mel Gibson (who is, let’s remind ourselves, a Yankee) made the factually inaccurate film in 1995, was a symbol for the unification of Great Britain, a unionist hero.”

We highly recommend reading the entire thing. It seems not to be a spoof.

This is not a spoof 180

Posted on May 16, 2014 by

We have not made this story up. It’s not the work of BBC Scotlandshire.

bbcoil5yrs

Just casually, there, beneath an unassuming, innocuous headline. No big deal.

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FOR COMMON SENSE 279

Posted on May 13, 2014 by

Because some of you won’t have seen it yet. This is NOT a spoof.

jean

That’s what they think will persuade people to vote No, readers.

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    • Northcode on The Jokers: “Indeed, Alf. Thanks for adding that important addendum to the point I was attempting to make. When we look around…Jun 7, 10:05
    • socratesmacsporran on The Jokers: “The Greatest Living Scotsman – Sir William Connolly is apparently back home this week. The result in Hamilton, Larkhall and…Jun 7, 09:48
    • Mia on The Jokers: “I think you should add Swinney and Sturgeon to that Pax Anglica thing. We would not be in the place…Jun 7, 09:43
    • Alf Baird on The Jokers: ““The custodians of the SNP; those meant to be the guardians of its great promise to free a people from…Jun 7, 09:41
    • Mia on The Jokers: “The SNP was lost to us that day in 2015 when the political fraud Sturgeon announced that a vote for…Jun 7, 09:21
    • TURABDIN on The Jokers: “NOT A JOKE. When the Romans set about extinguishing the Jewish identity of their administrative province of Judea following the…Jun 7, 09:14
    • Callum on The Jokers: “SNP is a top down party but one whose leadership is as dumb as fuck. The SNP lost a seat…Jun 7, 09:12
    • Mia on The Jokers: “I have mentioned in these threads several times that I am of the opinion “elections” in Scotland are a charade.…Jun 7, 09:09
    • Northcode on The Jokers: “The ‘Scottish’ National Party, the SNP, is now and forevermore lost to the Scots and has become a weapon wielded…Jun 7, 08:57
    • James Cheyne on The Jokers: “I attempted to reply to your comment but “Gateway” has decided not to allow those comments, so I will be…Jun 7, 08:25
    • James Cheyne on The Jokers: “Stu. I will be changing my gmail address too sometime over the next few months, just to let you know…Jun 7, 08:18
    • James Cheyne on The Jokers: “My comment are going into the ether by gateway.Jun 7, 08:15
    • James Cheyne on The Jokers: “Mia, You are also wise in your observations, That there is no voting system for those that do not wish…Jun 7, 08:13
    • Young Lochinvar on The Jokers: “Absolutely nailed it there Mia. We are going through a parties death throes, not pretty but it needs to be…Jun 6, 22:33
    • Scot Finlayson on The Jokers: “Reform could be king makers at the next Holyrood election, bringing in a British unionist Government, Starmer would be happy…Jun 6, 22:17
    • Mark Beggan on The Jokers: “Old Eskimo proverb; Don’t eat the yellow snow.Jun 6, 22:12
    • Bilbo on The Jokers: “If you take the time to listen to the average Scot, they are politically aware and know exactly what is…Jun 6, 19:51
    • Mia on The Jokers: ““it isn’t over for the SNP all they have to do is join Liberate Scotland” I do not want them…Jun 6, 19:48
    • willie on The Jokers: “Since 2015 the SNP has been a blocker to pursuing independence. A Trojan Horse on behalf of the Brit establishment…Jun 6, 19:38
    • Bilbo on The Jokers: “If those who had voted for Tory voted for Reform, Reform would have won. Stating the obvious but for the…Jun 6, 19:33
    • Bilbo on The Jokers: “Those changing faces and hearing different languages are from people who are working here legally via the visa scheme and…Jun 6, 19:30
    • Rob on Ball Of Confusion: “Politics has been reduced to voting for the party that you least hate. Reform will do better and better in…Jun 6, 19:14
    • Alf Baird on The Jokers: ““Would “both votes” suddnly make sense?” Only if folks are happy with another 5 years of colonial administration and inept…Jun 6, 19:12
    • TURABDIN on The Jokers: “POLITICAL OUTFITS love «process», effectively a cover for doing nothing. That «referendum» obsession by the putative independence party is a…Jun 6, 19:03
    • Mia on The Jokers: “Now look at it from this other way: Reform + Tory: 8,709 SNP+ Green: 8,652 Lab: 8,559 Total: 25,920 vs…Jun 6, 18:39
    • Geordie on The Jokers: “100%. That’s it in a nutshell. Our country is changing afore our eyes and most politicians couldn’t give a fuck.…Jun 6, 18:30
    • Mia on The Jokers: ““Labour have done nothing for working class people since the 1960’s…Labour have taken us into an illegal war, watched as…Jun 6, 18:18
    • A2 on The Jokers: “If this was the full HR election would this have this affected the constituincy seats if we assume the swings…Jun 6, 18:09
    • Chas on The Jokers: “Alfie boy will be proud of that mince. Did you think of it all by yourself?Jun 6, 17:55
    • Mia on The Jokers: ““Whether anyone likes it or not, an absentee voter is still a vote – it’s a vote to abdicate the…Jun 6, 17:51
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