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Carrying the cans 126

Posted on June 06, 2023 by

Even for Lorna Slater this is jaw-droppingly dumb:

It takes Olympic-class stupidity to publicly put a figure to how much your staggering incompetence has cost Scottish businesses in the middle of an economic crisis.

Either the Scottish Government knew the DRS wasn’t compliant and was hoping the UK government would shut it down, so that it could attempt to clumsily extract some political capital from “interference” (in which case it’s directly responsible for those losses of hundreds of millions of pounds), OR it was so mindbogglingly inept that it genuinely intended the scheme to go into operation but failed to legislate it properly (in which case it’s directly responsible for those losses of hundreds of millions of pounds).

In either case, any minister with responsibility for the gargantuan shambles should – quite obviously – be out on their ears before FMQs on Thursday in desperate hope of avoiding the government being sued by the affected firms. But the SNP/Green coalition has as little shame as it has ability or dignity, so expect the clown show to continue.

Spin the bottle 293

Posted on June 03, 2023 by

High on the groundhog 194

Posted on June 01, 2023 by

This is a wretchedly boring time to be writing about politics for a living, readers. Parliamentarians in Edinburgh and London haven’t technically checked out for the summer yet – Holyrood still has a month to go before taking two months off, while Westminster is currently having a couple of weeks off for “Whitsun”, whatever the hell that is, before coming back for a month and a half then sodding off until September.

But really they’re already at the “bringing board games in” stage of term, and both the elected chambers and the media already have their eyes on the beach, which probably explains why we’re being punted drivel like this.

Even if we must afford the graphics team some grudging kudos for the unicoo.

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The Appearance Of Propriety 454

Posted on May 29, 2023 by

Wait, has Nicola Sturgeon died? We didn’t see anything on the news.

Because there are only a limited number of possible reasonable explanations for why police wanting to find out what Nicola Sturgeon knew about something would ask people who aren’t Nicola Sturgeon.

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The Cod-father 141

Posted on May 28, 2023 by

It’s a bit disappointing to see an Italian-born man play into Mafia stereotypes.

“Nice indy movement you’ve got there. Be a shame if anything… happened to it.”

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The conscious uncoupling 116

Posted on May 27, 2023 by

The Battered Can 121

Posted on May 26, 2023 by

When I was a boy at Balbardie Primary School in Bathgate in the mid-70s, football was banned in the playground. Of course we were all fitba-daft laddies, so we sought ways around the prohibition. Occasionally someone would bring in a tennis ball, but those were difficult to control in school shoes and also apt to fly over the wall of the outdoor toilet block if somebody caught one sweetly on the volley.

So most playtimes somebody would produce a tin of Pepsi or Irn-Bru or Cresta, chug the contents, stand the empty container on its end and stomp sharply on it, producing something more akin to an ice-hockey puck that would serve for our kickabout.

But even after being skelped and scudded around a concrete playground into stone walls for 20 minutes, that can was still in better shape at the end of our game than the one the SNP have been kicking down the road since 2016.

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The Infinite Idiot 291

Posted on May 24, 2023 by

He just can’t grasp anything, can he?

Because no, they don’t.

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Dirty Rotten Scoundrels 459

Posted on May 21, 2023 by

If you’re still falling for this idiot-fodder after seven years, give yourself a shake.

Because for the love of Christ, an orangutan would have twigged by now. And we’re not talking about the long-suffering fans of Dundee United.

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In your face 82

Posted on May 20, 2023 by

The SNP now seem to be involved in some sort of competition where they dare each other to come up with the most blatant insult to their own members and/or the wider independence movement and see just how much they can get people to put up with.

First up was this drivel:

Humza Yousaf is leader of the SNP, a political party whose defining purpose – arguably its SOLE real purpose – is the pursuit of Scottish independence, but his “vision for Scotland” didn’t include a single mention of it.

Instead, Yousaf intends to spend the next three years on “equality”, “opportunity” and “community”, three meaningless buzzwords which every political party on Earth would claim to be in favour of. He might as well have identified his key values as kittens, lollipops and hugs.

But it gets worse.

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The Small Good Hamster 106

Posted on May 20, 2023 by

Full ahead backwards 200

Posted on May 19, 2023 by

Just slightly under four weeks ago, this site told you It seems very much as though the strategy has reverted to ‘Beg the UK government for a Section 30, and when they refuse, wait a while then beg them again'”.

Once again, we’re dismayed to report that we called it right. Because last night SNP MSP Mairi McAllan, officially representing the party on Question Time, told a weary audience in Fort William that that was precisely the case.

And readers, if ever a policy has been tested in battle and found wanting, it’s that one.

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    • TURABDIN on When the law breaks the law: “TRULY «THE LAW» is an ass, must it also look like one?Feb 26, 08:57
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “UK population was around 59 million in 2000 and around 70 million in 2025. As you say, sam, absolutely scandalous…Feb 26, 08:38
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Doesn’t matter how many reports you cut and paste, sam, without ethnic analysis they are meaningless. I fully recognise that…Feb 26, 08:20
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Wow! Check out the proud, colonialist boasting from Bob. Off to Ireland to grift from them what his home country…Feb 26, 08:07
    • Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “Dot B has been taken to court over failure to pay take away delivery charges. Ms B claimed she had…Feb 26, 00:34
    • sarah on When the law breaks the law: “Mark Hirst has said that over £6000 donations have been received in the last week. That’s good but surely he’s…Feb 25, 22:54
    • sam on When the law breaks the law: “Willie, Studies show that poverty can alter brain structures, particularly in areas responsible for higher cognitive functions. For instance, children…Feb 25, 22:03
    • sam on When the law breaks the law: “Coroners’ reports in England have been found to misrepresent the total number of drug deaths. Research indicates that over 13,000…Feb 25, 21:50
    • sam on When the law breaks the law: “https://www.health.org.uk/reports-and-analysis/briefings/uk-mortality-trends-and-international-comparisons “This briefing compares trends in mortality within the UK and with 21 high-income countries, based on new research by…Feb 25, 21:43
    • willie on When the law breaks the law: “Ultimately if you live with a shortage of money, food, heating and lighting life becomes hard and stressful. Factor in…Feb 25, 21:33
    • robertkknight on When the law breaks the law: “And what’s your point caller? Scottish and European me… Not British! (Only thing ‘British’ about yours truly concerns either geography,…Feb 25, 21:28
    • sam on When the law breaks the law: “Scotland’s mental health problems are somewhat worse overall than in E&W. One in 4 Scots has a mental health problem-…Feb 25, 21:22
    • sam on When the law breaks the law: “Mental health issues. England and Wales. “One in five adults (20.2%) in England are living with a common mental health…Feb 25, 21:06
    • GM on When the law breaks the law: “Debatable, given the turnouts in EU elections. I voted remain because I thought England might vote to leave. Political ammunition,…Feb 25, 19:54
    • sam on When the law breaks the law: “The first food bank in the UK opened in 2000. In 2026 there are about 2600 food banks. The main…Feb 25, 17:25
    • Cynicus on When the law breaks the law: “Young Lochinvar 25 February, 2026 at 2:10 am CY…… ….You can take your choice but Unless you have an axe…Feb 25, 17:24
    • sam on When the law breaks the law: “Child poverty in England is at 31 %. In Scotland it is 22%. Still too high but the difference is…Feb 25, 17:14
    • sam on When the law breaks the law: “People in Scotland, a rich country with many resources, do not have healthy lives. The average period of good health…Feb 25, 17:01
    • agentx on When the law breaks the law: ““The Scottish government has announced it will establish a Scotland-wide grooming gangs inquiry chaired by Prof Alexis Jay, who led…Feb 25, 16:54
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on When the law breaks the law: “MP URGES LESSONS TO BE LEARNT FROM DETRANSITIONER HARMED BY ‘AFFIRMING CARE’ A girl ushered into social and medical treatments…Feb 25, 16:22
    • Alf Baird on When the law breaks the law: “There is neither dignity nor morality in colonialism, whose very aim is ‘to widen inequality’ (Memmi) based on ‘hateful racism’…Feb 25, 15:44
    • lothianlad on When the law breaks the law: “100% correct. I tried several times to get the SNP run council and the MP, MSP to have this recognised.…Feb 25, 15:32
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: ““The responses showed an alarming amount of ignorance and a lack of concern” One interpretation, certainly. Other interpretations are possible,…Feb 25, 14:12
    • sam on When the law breaks the law: “The neoliberal policies that Scotland in the UK has experienced since 1979 seem like a kind of colonialism, A rentier…Feb 25, 13:47
    • Ian Smith on When the law breaks the law: “If 80% of people are Scottish or Scottish and British only, why is joining the EU so popular?Feb 25, 13:22
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Nae fear o hoarse joabbies, TFIOD. Unicorn joabbies smell, taste and look indistinguishable frae Pick’n’Mix, richt doon tae the individual…Feb 25, 12:55
    • The Flying Iron of Doom on When the law breaks the law: “Hatey McHateface says: 24 February, 2026 at 8:29 pm Unicorn Land. You know, I quite like that idea. My only…Feb 25, 09:04
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “I would expect a lot of support for an amended proposal, especially among those Scottish patriots who extol the virtues…Feb 25, 08:41
    • Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “@Cynicus That’s an empty slogan that doesn’t stand up to thoughtful assessment, parroted by the dense. History is written by…Feb 25, 08:01
    • Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “CY Yes. But Fraser was better, Comyn effed up at Fa’kirk, did the dirty at Dumfries while Bruce won the…Feb 25, 02:10
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