The Scottish Government have just launched yet another nanny-state “healthy eating” intervention, and to be honest, readers, the cheap-shot open goals just queued up.
Our first instinct was to do a simple picture gallery of some of the insatiable pie-hounds squeezing their expenses-fed backsides onto the groaning, creaking benches and chairs of the Holyrood and Westminster parliaments, such as Kirsten “Elbows” Oswald (pictured above, slumped back under the sheer weight of her neck) – so known to other MPs because you get between her and a buffet at grave peril to your ribcage.
(And no, we’re not telling you which ones told us that.)
More than three months have passed since Alex Salmond launched a lawsuit against the Scottish Government for its grotesquely botched handling of false allegations of sexual misconduct against him.
With Scottish politics currently in a completely moribund state, as the party of government disintegrates shambolically and the main opposition party keeps its mouth shut and its head down in an attempt to not destroy its newfound and extremely fragile status as a credible alternative, one might imagine that the political media would be desperate for the case to get under way and provide them with some juicy content.
So it’s slightly surprising that none of them has noticed the latest development.
We’re reluctant to even mention the farcical, embarrassing goings-on in the House Of Commons last night, but the very short version is that the SNP somehow contrived to save Keir Starmer from an embarrassing mass rebellion of Labour MPs.
And in so far as anyone cared about them at all, the people of Gaza were the losers.
As the long-running police probe into SNP finances continues, Wings received some slightly surprising news today in the form of an FOI response.
Based on reports from various trustworthy sources we’d expected to hear that the police side of the investigation was by this point winding down somewhat, with most matters of fact already established, detectives assigned to other duties and the ball now largely in the court of the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS).
Because we’re still more than two years out from the next Holyrood election, and it’s really hard to see how it’s going to pan out. So let’s throw some figures around.
This is so freaky I had to check they weren’t quoting each other. It’s like a game show.
Just a couple of nice well-brought-up Hutchesons’ Grammar boys in smart suits, there, thinking the same, speaking the same, saying the same, and angling for the same job. (Which one of them now has, and the other may have soon.)
If there’s ever been a (branch office of a) political party that could somehow manage to blow it in Scotland against the burning trainwreck in a ditch full of sewage that is the SNP right now, it’s definitely Anas Sarwar’s hapless Scottish Labour.
Honestly, this stuff is comedy gold. But in a winner-takes-all dumb-off with Humza Yousaf’s SNP, it’s way too close to call.
One year ago today, Nicola Sturgeon suddenly resigned as First Minister. And what a spectacular 12 months it’s been for the Yes movement since her departure.
gm on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Stuart McDonald is down as treasurer. My theory doesnae work then! They couldbae hae been that brassneckit.” May 28, 00:42
Young Lochinvar on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Izzie & 7.05 Is that, Izzie, the word coming down the line from the top to the party-before-country faithful? What…” May 28, 00:30
gm on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “If someone else had put themselves forward for selection that would look terrible. If no-one else wanted the job then…” May 28, 00:05
sarah on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “I don’t know the facts, I just read somewhere about it. I got the impression that it wasn’t that the…” May 27, 23:51
sarah on Off-topic: “Hello, Peter! The time I saw the goldcrest was from a caravan which was in a wood and was right…” May 27, 23:38
gm on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Sarah. why on earth would a 70odd yr old man, who has gone through years of stress want to put…” May 27, 23:35
gm on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “I don’t know but many of us were frustrated at the time it was taking and asked the same thing.…” May 27, 23:31
gm on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Sarah, its strange indeed. I would put money on him retiring was shocked when i saw he was standing again.…” May 27, 23:28
Andrea on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “I tried to leave a comment a couple of hours ago, but it is not there, so I am trying…” May 27, 23:20
sarah on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “It cost him £20,000 to his local branch in order to get the nomination as candidate. Something very, very odd…” May 27, 23:08
Ian Smith on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Why did Beattie stand again? He’s well past retirement age and clearly a clown. There was a massive likelyhood this…” May 27, 22:29
Hatey McHateface on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Economists will say anything to avoid being grilled like that boy you were writing about yesterday, Geri. Any sarnies left?” May 27, 22:28
Hatey McHateface on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Don’t knock being fiddled, Geri, you might have an organism So Maggie killed of the Clyde did she? And there…” May 27, 22:21
Ian Smith on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Better than the Herald did, just mentioning a ‘website’.” May 27, 22:19
Geri on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Leading economists say GDP is a pants way to measure a country by because it adds in things like rents…” May 27, 22:15
Hatey McHateface on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Sounds like Mr Gibson wasn’t paying attention when it was explained to him that a shortfall in the separation of…” May 27, 22:07
Hatey McHateface on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “@Northcode 8:18 Thanks for that rare peep into your personal life and habits, Northy. You’re a sly dog! All this…” May 27, 21:46
Geri on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Scotland is being fiddled. You can quote all the figures you like. Unless they hand over the full accounts you…” May 27, 21:45
Aidan on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Yes but we’ve been round this roundabout before, the data was wrong when you published it and now it’s both…” May 27, 21:45
Andrea on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Slightly OT, but has anyone got any idea why the investigation lasted for so many years and why it took…” May 27, 21:36
Hatey McHateface on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “After hundreds of posts, all hoaching with outright lies, why should we choose to believe your latest one, Geri? I…” May 27, 21:35
Andy Wiltshire on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “This whole business is just one more example of how the institutions of Scotland work nowadays.” May 27, 21:32
Hatey McHateface on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “Havers, Northy. A handful of beads, a mirror or two, and a pint of fire water and you’d be the…” May 27, 21:24
Alf Baird on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “My article identifying ‘the cost of colonialism’ for Scotland was published a couple of years ago and was therefore based…” May 27, 21:18
Bill Scullion on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “I heard Colin Beattie on TV yesterday and he looked like startled deer when asked if perhaps he should have…” May 27, 20:47
Aidan on No Money Back, No Guarantee: “Why would you be using figures from 5-years ago when for at least part of the period the U.K. was…” May 27, 20:45
Northcode on No Money Back, No Guarantee: ““We all know the answer, colonial plunder and economic under-development.” I am convinced by Alf’s argument, which is supported by…” May 27, 20:18
Onlooker on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “We have a precedent. Poe did spend some childhood time in Ayrshire, Nicola’s home gaff, after all. Maybe he’s where…” May 27, 20:17
Sheepshagger on All The Dirt From My Eyes: “If nailed on evidence of either Sturgeon’s or Beattie’s culpability were to emerge could Police Scotland reopen the case?” May 27, 19:48
