Only a few diehards in the press are still clinging this morning to the Labour fiction we exposed yesterday, namely the flat-out empirical falsehood that “the biggest party gets to form a government” in the event of a hung Parliament.
As that’s where Scottish Labour is led from, of course. The Ashcroft polls leaked late last night have, it’s fair to say, caused a certain degree of furore among politics types.
Contrary to some expectations, the figures could scarcely have been worse. Of 16 seats polled – 14 held by Labour and two Lib Dem – 15 would go to the SNP on staggering swings of over 20%. Labour’s Glasgow heartlands would be all but wiped out, with only Willie Bain in Glasgow North East barely clinging on.
The SNP will undoubtedly be cock-a-hoop, but will almost certainly also be feverishly warning activists that polls don’t win seats and reminding them of the party’s own spectacular recovery in the 2011 Holyrood election from what looked like disaster just a couple of months out from the vote.
Lord Ashcroft himself points out (as we did ourselves on Twitter last night) that the seats he polled were mainly in areas that voted Yes last year, and so may be unduly flattering the SNP. But it’s worth seeing them in context.
Remarkably, 26% of people planning to vote Labour in May, and an astounding 54% of likely Tory voters, say the SNP are the best guarantors of more powers, while 21% of Labour voters and 37% of Tories also answer “SNP” to the second question.
We wouldn’t want to be in Scottish Labour’s shoes if they were made of diamonds.
We pondered long and hard over how best to analyse Scottish Labour’s bewildering, oh-my-God-they’re-really-calling-it-that “Vow Plus” fiasco from yesterday, readers.
We contemplated noting the absurdity of Gordon Brown being its frontman when he’s not standing in May and won’t be in Parliament to deliver it. We considered a forensic deconstruction showing how it’s just the same old reheated, uncosted rubbish they’ve been waffling around for the past years.
(“Give Holyrood control of housing benefit, separating it out from the rest of the UK’s Universal Credit by mumble mumble! Increase pensions using the extra cash freed up by mumble mumble! Devolve workfare, which somehow magically ‘creates jobs’ by mumble mumble! Pretend we just said ‘1000 nurses’ all along, not the demented ‘1000 more than anything the SNP say’!”)
We thought about pointing out all the comical flapping the party’s done around its devolution proposals, presenting the weary and confused Scottish people with feeble, grudging, underwhelming plan after feeble, grudging, underwhelming plan – at least five different ones since 2009 – and resentfully upping the offer by the bare minimum they think they can get away with every time.
And we wondered if it was worth drawing attention to the fact that the latest effort is actually basically the Strathclyde Commission blueprint from the Conservatives with a red sticker hastily slapped on it.
But in the end, the truth is a lot simpler than that.
We haven’t done a monthly stats post for a few months, partly because naturally traffic’s been down after the insane spike of last September, partly because we had two weeks off in October (and a semi-break over Christmas and New Year), and partly because we’ve moved to new, more accurate and more detailed figures direct from our webhost and January was the first full month of them.
So here, for those of you who like to keep track, are the headlines:
We’re pretty blown away by that, to be honest. A tiny fraction shy of 300,000 unique readers (in what’s traditionally a very slow month for politics, and one we didn’t really start until the second week) is 157% up on a year ago, and nearly 50,000 higher than last May, which was the all-time high until the mad last few weeks of the referendum campaign. (It’s the 3rd-highest ever, after September and August 2014.)
If you’d told us we’d be anywhere near those sorts of numbers four months after a No vote (or indeed if we’d even still be going four months after a No vote), we’d have said you were missing a few marbles. But as long as you’re still here, we will be too*.
Since we’ve been talking about mad letters from Scottish Labour MPs today, we’re sharing this one with you too. We’ve been trying to make sense of it all evening.
We haven’t made any progress. It’s not just a simple accidental transposition of words, because if you switch “increased” and “decreased” around it’s still gibberish – why would the threat have decreased because of proliferation? If anyone can explain it, do drop us a line.
With a knife-edge general election just 90-odd days away, we must confess ourselves surprised at the sudden rash of candour/indiscipline (depending on how generously you want to frame it) that’s broken out in Scottish Labour.
It started soon after the referendum, when Edinburgh Labour chairman Trevor Davies felt confident enough, with the vote won, to announce on an officially-backed Labour website that his primary loyalty was to his party rather than to the people of Scotland, under the startlingly blunt headline “Labour first, Scottish second”.
But any notion that the comments represented nothing more than a vainglorious and momentary slip from a loose cannon were soon dispelled.
Hatey McHateface on The Shortest Day: “From the MSM: “Earlier this week, the Wall Street Journal reported that the Trump administration was “in advanced talks with…” Aug 30, 23:08
Young Lochinvar on The Shortest Day: “Meant to add: Maggie Thatcher! The King! Winston Churchill! Graham Botham! Jimmy Hill! Danny La Rue! Longshanks! Fat Hal 8!…” Aug 30, 22:58
Hatey McHateface on The Shortest Day: “So you’re the founder and sole member of a one-man debating club, Auld Lochnagar? Oh to be a fly on…” Aug 30, 22:53
Aidan on The Shortest Day: “@Sam – the paper YOU posted concludes: “And that’s how David Cameron’s entire calamitous economic policy – and all of…” Aug 30, 22:44
Hatey McHateface on The Shortest Day: ““you forgot to answer the question” I learned that at the feet of a master, Alf, YOU. Haha, just my…” Aug 30, 22:43
Young Lochinvar on The Shortest Day: “HMcH You are guilty again it appears of sliding off the subject in hand and jumping instead to a subject…” Aug 30, 22:27
gm on The Shortest Day: “Nicely put. The Scottish democratic elites seem quite happy within themselves nonetheless. They are maybe just a shower of self…” Aug 30, 22:25
Hatey McHateface on The Shortest Day: “Cheers, James! Actually … it’s not up. Although I don’t like to boast, I can well understand why one of…” Aug 30, 21:48
Alf Baird on The Shortest Day: “In your regular set task to divert, you forgot to answer the question, Hatey: If not decolonization, what do you…” Aug 30, 21:40
James on The Shortest Day: “LOL. What a “Prick”. Keep it up….” Aug 30, 21:29
Hatey McHateface on The Shortest Day: ““There were economists who thought austerity was the wrong policy” There were and still are economists who think that ever…” Aug 30, 21:23
sam on The Shortest Day: ““Aidan says: 30 August, 2026 at 11:47 am It’s nonsense to suggest that this single paper was the entire basis…” Aug 30, 20:59
Hatey McHateface on The Shortest Day: ““Ye cannae educate pork” Ye cannae educate a fatberg either. But ye can flush it. I get the impression that…” Aug 30, 20:34
Hatey McHateface on The Shortest Day: ““Since the birth of the United Nations, more than 80 former colonies comprising some 750 million people have gained independence…” Aug 30, 20:20
James on The Shortest Day: “YL; kudos for trying, but you are wasting your time on the paid-poster that we all know as “Site Prick”.…” Aug 30, 20:01
James on The Shortest Day: “LOL. Well done youse two! The half-wit and the inmate [but which is which!?]. HI-LARIOUS! Keep em coming, please! Comedy…” Aug 30, 19:55
Alf Baird on The Shortest Day: “What do you folks think independence is, if not decolonization? Because decolonization is what the UN says it is: “Since…” Aug 30, 19:55
gm on The Shortest Day: “An effete, social climbing turncoat. They are so narcissistic these characters, so comfortable in their elitist bubble they can’t see…” Aug 30, 19:53
DaveL on The Shortest Day: “How about settling down and stop your moaning and creeping?” Aug 30, 19:22
Hatey McHateface on The Shortest Day: ““He will share … the secret to success” He’ll reveal how much he has in his pension fund. And you…” Aug 30, 19:19
Hatey McHateface on The Shortest Day: “What’s that you say, Sooty? Why does Auld Lochnagar want to airbrush the Norman Conquest out of history? I guess…” Aug 30, 19:12
Hatey McHateface on The Shortest Day: “Commentators already saying that the thought of being forced to share their wealth as the first net contributor to the…” Aug 30, 19:07
Hatey McHateface on The Shortest Day: ““With stronger coordination, dedicated support and sustained ambition, the potential exists” Wow! After decades of Independence and quite a long…” Aug 30, 19:01
Spartan 117 on The Shortest Day: “Quite pleasing to see a small independent nation reject the EU’s advances. Democratically, as well, rather than bring railroaded by…” Aug 30, 18:57
Hatey McHateface on Spot The Problem: “Prick AND bawbag, Dan. Yet you still expect to be taken seriously? OK, I’ll do it. What kind of soup…” Aug 30, 18:55
Dan on The Shortest Day: “@ AIdan The residents of my village are for the most part appreciative of my efforts to interact and educate…” Aug 30, 18:21
DaveL on The Shortest Day: “Away back to your whinging and moaning about posts you don’t like but can do nothing about. Beg Stu to…” Aug 30, 18:21
Dan on Spot The Problem: “Just noticed the site bawbag and keen typist swerved addressing the main points of my post, and instead tried to…” Aug 30, 17:55
Aidan on The Shortest Day: “Okay – it was first published in Jan and then republished in another journal in May. Either way, it came…” Aug 30, 17:50