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A simple plan

Posted on December 30, 2014 by

Scottish Labour clearly get a pretty good deal from the printers’ shop that makes the giant pound coins, because they’re waving them around again.


The North British branch office’s latest wizard jape is to upset all the people who they urged to join for £5 just last month – never mind the gullible saps forking out nine times that much – by offering cut-price memberships at £1 a year.

It’s what the retail trade calls a “loss leader” – in effect the party will be paying people to join, because £1 won’t come anywhere near to covering the cost of processing each new member, sending them a membership card and so on.

But it did give us an idea.

We’re now reasonably certain that Scottish Labour has somewhere around 7000 members with voting rights. We’ve still got some fundraising money left over. So for about £7000 we could sign up enough new members to effectively take the Scottish “party” over and make it adopt any policies (and select any candidates) we liked.

After all, Jim Murphy now insists the branch is completely autonomous, not run from London, and it’d certainly save on a lot of paperwork.

We’re only half joking. Who’s in?

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      A simple plan | FreeScotland

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    301 to “A simple plan”

    1. Bob Sinclair says:

      Make it so

    2. Bugger (the Panda) says:

      The Panda is in like Flynn.

    3. Jax McDowell says:

      Good idea. If they are not a branch and can make decisions then we should all join and vote or independence.

    4. Kevin Lynch says:

      If you’ll pay for the hacksaw I’ll need to cut my right hand off I’m in. Maybe I could also get a disability discount?

    5. Lollysmum says:

      I’m in 😉

    6. Craig Dalzell says:

      A plan so audaciously crazy that…it just might work!

      Just one possible flaw though.

      Did I not read somewhere that due to their Electoral College voting system the serving politicians get 100X(-ish) the voting power of the average punter?

      Does this throw a spanner in the works for a takeover?

    7. It’s certainly sorely tempting!

    8. Stewart Lang says:

      I’ll even pay my own pound!

    9. twenty14 says:

      Love it , I’m in – thus giving me 450 votes

    10. Jiggsbro says:

      Unfortunately, all but a handful of people are already members of the SNP and so cannot join the New Scottish Labour & Unionist party.

    11. Alex Clark says:

      £7000, the price of democracy. Says it all really, it couldn’t come any cheaper.

      I hear it’s £10,000 just for a question.

    12. Rosco_v1 says:


    13. CRAIGthePICT says:

      Nah, they are doing such a splendid job of imploding all by themselves, they don’t need our help.

    14. jimnarlene says:

      As much as I would enjoy throwing a spanner in labours works, from within, I don’t think I could act duplicitous enough, for long enough.
      It is an interesting proposal though.

    15. Murray McCallum says:

      Rev, can we not get a bulk discount?

      Using the Treasury calculator a 5% discount would get us 7,000 memberships for £3,500.00 – and that’s before any student discounts, etc that may be applicable.

    16. Simon Chadwick says:

      So does the Scottish Accounting Unit of the UK Labour party allow each member one vote?

    17. Bunter says:

      lol yes yes yes

    18. Silverytay says:

      You can count me in , hell I will even join a union again to give me more voting power .

    19. Helpmaboab says:

      I think that I might be able to spare one pound.

      If it helps to re-invigorate what was, until the previous decade, “Scotland’s Largest Political Party” then my contribution will have been well spent.

      I look forward to receiving my membership pack.

    20. Adam Davidson says:

      I know it’s not constructive. I know it’s probably wrong but the Labour party has played so dirty for so long, the gloves are off. I’ll do it.

    21. Marcus C says:

      Me, we need to clean the street with the North British Branch, don’t understand the mentality of those who continue to vote Labour every election but they only make it worse.
      I would be against an SNP Labour coalition to be honest.

    22. edward poole says:

      count me in !!

    23. chic kirk says:

      in 1915 a Scottish advisory council was formed by the uk labour party and then in 1918 it was formalised as a region in the labour party rule book and renamed the Scottish council of the labour party, and in 1994 they just rebranded it as the Scottish labour party .
      so no matter how they try to camouflage it, it is still just the region called the Scottish council of the labour party !

    24. jacqueline says:

      me 🙂

    25. Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

      “I know it’s not constructive.”

      Actually it IS constructive. We’re saying “Let’s not destroy Labour, let’s take over and make it better”. There’s still the basic chassis of a political party there, it’s a wee fixer-upper.

    26. David says:

      Good plan . Trojan Horse .

    27. auldmcintosh says:

      We should have pity on the afflicted, more particularly those whose moral compass conflicts with their obligation to that country from which they derived their birth and infant nurture.

    28. ClanDonald says:

      It will be worth it if only to prove that the ‘Scottish’ Labour Party doesn’t actually exist.

    29. Alex Clark says:

      Shame this didn’t come up before many LFI members joined the SSP after the vote 🙁

    30. BrianW says:

      It sounds like a comedy gold coup d’état idea to me.

      I’ve got £1.50 form my Christmas clootie dumpling (funnily enough it came out the pan in same shape as Kezia’s very strange – made putting a sharp knife in it all the more fun – I’m a VILE Clootie Dumpling Munching Cybetnat)

      I could buy one and a half members (one for Janette Krankie maybe)

    31. JPFife says:

      Scottish Labour actually is now a Poundshop Party.

    32. Indyracer2014 says:

      It could be like Militant in the 1980s. Classic trotskyist entryism. We could take over Glasgow City Council from within and fight the good fight again our imperial masters.

      …only half joking. Who’s in?

    33. Boorach says:

      Hell will freeze over before they get even one single penny from me!

    34. Finnz says:

      Scotty, I would have to resign my SNP membership.

      And that is too precious to me…

    35. Grouse Beater says:

      We’re saying “Let’s not destroy Labour, let’s take over and make it better”.

      Great idea.

      You know, it crossed my mind a few times that to be truly radical, to be revolutionary, a new leader of the Scottish group is required to do the following as the minimum to win hearts and minds:

      1. Establish a Scottish Labour constitution.
      2. Declare Scottish Labour is no carbon copy of Labour UK.
      3. Declare Scottish Labour support full independence for Scotland.
      4. State Scottish Labour will support Labour UK only if they share the pound sterling.
      5. Demand a new Treaty be negotiated and agreed between Holyrood and Westminster viable for the 21st century.

      And you’d need lots of new Labour members ready and willing to push for those changes without compromise, implemented within one year!


    36. BrianW says:

      Is it just me (and i know this may seem a bit cruel) or is anyone think that JaBa’s pound coin looks like her cardy only has one large button on it..

    37. Jim Thomson says:

      At what point do they create their manifesto? Has that already been agreed within the party based on their “Scottish” party conference?

      If they still need members to agree manifesto content, what are the rules regarding length of membership required to influence decisions.

      Just need to be sure a whole 100p would be worth it.

    38. donald anderson says:

      It’s Labour’s Pound.

    39. McV says:

      I’d rather we paid for a huge party for us all, with loads and loads of booze and kebabs.

      Then we all lined up and took turns to vomit over the steps of 290 Bath Street.

    40. North chiel says:

      What about “bogof”

    41. donnab-s says:

      Tempting as it is, I feel they need to die first; then we can each give a pound to build a party we want and deserve.

    42. msean says:

      The new members would always get out voted,so my guess is they need some new foot soldiers,after all,the day trippers during the indyref will be busy fighting off the kippers and doing day trips to marginals in little England.

    43. Wee jock poo-pong mcplop says:

      Looks like a plan.I’m in. Hell,I joined the Labour Party when I was 16…and left under Blair/Brown/Campbell. Be like going home…and cleaning up after the squatters.

    44. mumsyhugs says:

      Jeez they’re right belters of xmas chocolate coins – nae wonder JB’s got a smile a mile wide! So are they selling their memberships in Poundland now then?

    45. iainw says:

      But of course, ah the possibilities.

    46. Dave McEwan Hill says:

      I’m in – me and my hamster Sammy

    47. Taranaich says:

      I think you’re onto something here. I would encourage anyone who isn’t currently in a party to go along with it.

      One problem is, would new members be able to vote as soon as they’re in, or is there a wait period? The other problem is the electoral college: I’m pretty sure the MPs & trade unions would outvote every single member.

      Frankly, Reverend, I think you should just go forward with your own party, and some of the Wings readers & contributors up here could represent your party in Scotland.

    48. Lollysmum says:

      Well Nicola did say that ‘Labour won’t need to keep the Tories out, SNP will do that’

      Welcome to the incognito wing of SNP folks 😉 We’re just following our leader’s words to the letter, ha ha!!

    49. Alex Clark says:

      Even if they offered to PAY ME £1,000,000 I’d say fuck off!

    50. alexicon says:

      I can see the headlines right now. Thousands join the Labour party.
      Playing right into their hands.
      Let it wither on the vine by starving it of such publicity.
      They’re obviously desperate if they giving such huge discounts.

    51. john fisher says:

      We should do it just to piss Jim Murphy off and give us all a laugh

    52. heraldnomore says:

      Nope; not now: never. Let them rot to extinction. Bugger, talking of rotting to extinction they’ll probably go and do a Sevco on us.

    53. Robert Whyte says:

      If it happens then you get a labour millionaire getting the same idea or Jim using some of his expenses to do the same thing. All the while the media reporting on the labour membership outstripping that of the SNP.

    54. Murray McCallum says:

      I think Rev Stu has taken Jim and Kezia’s New Year message of coming together as one to a whole new and unexpected level.

      A very honest, fair and conciliatory gesture.

    55. Gary McIlkenny says:

      Very crafty. Well worth serious consideration.

      I’ve joined the SNP, so I’m out.

      But there must be 7,000 non-party wingers who would like to ‘help’ SLAB by giving them some tough love.

    56. Charles Kearney says:

      Aye! Simple is as simple does!

    57. Tam Jardine says:

      I’m going to sit this out until the price drops to a realistic value. The price ain’t bottomed out yet

    58. Alistair says:

      Once word gets out about the plan it would trigger a scramble by the hard core unionists (mainly Tories) to join labour to thwart the plan. Labour wouldn’t miss the opportunity to crow about its growing membership and the media would no doubt print the narrative labour give them. I like the idea though. Might be worth a shot.

    59. Grouse Beater says:

      My American friends always enjoy a good chortle at the sight of me pulling out pocket lining half-ripped from the weight of pound coins, plus other coins, and, smug as hell, they flip through a leaf of feather-light dollar notes.

      Maybe we should fill Labour MSP pockets with pound coins and send them down the Clyde for a paddle in a leaky boat.
      Hey, good image for our cartoonist – Labour Scotland in sinking row boat piled high with pound coins.

    60. gerry parker says:

      Everyone who joins should put Wings as their middle name.


      Gerry W Parker.


    61. Alex Clark says:

      @Tam Jardine

      Hahaha, but your wrong. It’s no longer volatile and will likely stay at a quid for the next 4 Years.

      Fozzie will have a piece on it in tomorrow’s Daily Heil that will put you right.

    62. Roboscot says:

      Strictly speaking, if you’re a member of the SNP you can’t be a member of another party but I’ve been a member of two parties for a few years. I’ll go for the hat-trick and join Labour. Great idea!

    63. Effijy says:

      Rev Stuart you are magnificent! Best one yet.
      A really big Joke for a very small joke of a party.
      I’ve joined SNP since the referendum, but I’d be happy to join
      Labour in order to out vote them on their dubious “policies”.
      Could we motion a vote of no confidence in everyone within the party who holds office?
      My only concern is that if I lie about my SNP memebership, on their application form, they might find out and propose that I’m just the type that they need to stand for election.

    64. Bob Mack says:

      Are they displaying the inflation they will bring to the pound? Sorry about that!

    65. Stoker says:

      NAW, i wouldn’t give them the steam off my sh!te.

      Besides, i would get more for my pound at Poundland.

    66. Lollysmum says:

      Of course they’re desperate-in the last 8 weeks they have:

      Reduced membership to £5 & allowed new members to vote for the Dear Leader JM
      Didn’t release voting numbers-hmmm, why not we ask?
      JM launches an appeal for £1million-hmmm, haven’t heard a peep about that since the launch in November-anyone?
      Advertise 10 jobs as Campaign Assistants & for ‘Scottish Labour’ General Secretary.
      Series of begging emails sent out to everyone they can think of to pay for said 10 CA posts.Struggling to raise the cash from punters.
      Now reduced the membership to £1

      Some people really just don’t know when to stop digging. Their hole is getting deeper & deeper 😉

    67. crazycat says:

      About 20 years ago, there were “pilot schemes” in 2 constituencies, one in England and one in Scotland in which I just happened to live, offering membership of the Labour Party for £1 waged, 50p unwaged.

      I took advantage of this “bargain” for a couple of years until
      a) I got a job and reckoned the doubling in price was not worth it,
      b) I encountered Tony Blair and discovered that he oozed insincerity like no-one else who has crossed my path before or since, and
      c) I upset them and decided not to wait to be expelled (I regret that now; it would have been much more fun).

      As far as I know the scheme was never extended, so it cannot have yielded the desired surge in membership.

    68. Graham says:

      I thought UKIP was the party that used the pound as its symbol. Does this show Labour’s thinking in regard to forming a coalition government after the election.

    69. Effigy says:

      You might enjoy this definition for

      Quid pro quo-

      a favour or advantage granted in return for something.
      (Your Soul in this case)
      For example-“the pardon was a quid pro quo for their help in releasing hostages”. (The People of Scotland should be set free)

    70. PictAtRandom says:

      Britcoin is a wonderful thing. It can be used for transactions on the “Parliamentary Road”, where all sorts of nefarious activities take place.

    71. unclebob says:

      What about us all letting our pets join?
      Cats, dogs, budgies etc….

      I like the comment about W as the middle names so we can recognise ourselves. Blacky W Smith ? or Bruno W Jones?

      A number of years ago one of my cats applied to go to University and was accepted as a mature student with no qualifications.
      She never attended. But it did prove that all they were interested in were bums on seats.

    72. Alex Clark says:

      I joined the Labour party in 1982, it was a fiver for a years membership. In the office in Dundee it was George Galloway and A.N.O.

      After I filled in the membership form and handed it and the fiver to GG, he turned to ANO and said told you we’ed get our beer money for dinnertime and laughed.

      I was a young guy, but seriously pissed off at this joke as GG described it.

      The end of any political involvement for me. Until now.

    73. Fred says:

      I was a member once, never return to your vomit.

    74. Wee jock poo-pong mcplop says:

      @ Stoker 9.35pm:
      “NAW, i wouldn’t give them the steam off my sh!te!”

      FANTASTIC phrase! Pretty much expresses the new view of “Scottish Labour” that so many of us now have!

    75. galamcennalath says:

      “Jim Murphy now insists the branch is … not run from London”

      Yea, we could be generous and say he’s kidding, or be somewhat harsher and say he’s telling porkies !

      Or, perhaps he’s just totally deluded!

    76. Pete says:

      Can you be a member of two parties at once? Could we take over the tories as well?

    77. MD says:

      This would probably preclude membership of another party operating in Scotland. While I like the idea I think others could use the money more effectively.

    78. Effigy says:

      Every Labour membership comes with a free Series of Begging Letters with your own name and address on it!
      I can see the Kids swapping these letters in the playground!

      You can buy a big bag of Kirby Grips for your hair in Poundland.
      As a completely bald man, I could make better use of the hair grips than a Labour membership card.

      Seriously though, North British Labour have no funds, so where would they get the £5 minimum cost of processing your application? Pay some poor soul to process it, print a letter of response, cost of paper and envelope, cost of membership card, postage. Looks like London Labour will need to foot yet another bill for these muppets. It is surprising how Dud Smurphy gets away with demanding things of his southern colleagues, when they have to pick up all tabs????
      The good news is that Smurphy must be slipping, only 2 weeks ago he was happy just to lie about having 20,000 Scottish members.
      The old Smurphy would just have increased the lie factor to warp speed 9 and announced that they had 1 member more than the SNP!

    79. Bugger (the Panda) says:

      From the inside we could call ourselves, like the T Party within the Republicans in the USA, the Nippy Sweetie Faction?

    80. Alex Clark says:


      You shouldn’t kick people when their down. OK it’s Labour, your forgiven.

      The people that hate them most are those that voted for them for decades but have had their eyes opened. Never again!!!

    81. Paul D says:

      That’s the sort of devious plan I like. It works on multiple levels too. Firstly, there is the potential to steer their leaky craft for the common good or indeed our own entertainment…

      Secondly, as was pointed out, it will cost more than that to process the membership thus draining them of even more money. I’ve no idea what they will send out but it could easily cost at least ten or twenty times the fee just to process the request, even if they are super slick, which I doubt they are.

    82. Lynne Grieve says:

      What a glorious idea….love it W.O.S…..that would set the cat amongst the pigeons!!!

    83. Bugger (the Panda) says:

      @ unclebob

      Bugger (w Panda)

      I think they would suss me.


    84. Paul says:

      Isn’t it always the same. Just after I have signed up for SNP, a better deal comes along. If only they had made the offer a couple of weeks ago I could have saved a lot of money! I always miss the bargains. Ah well, at least I know my money is going to a party that deserves it. Not the one that is desperate for it.

    85. muttley79 says:

      Whose the lady in the middle photo at the top? Is it Cara Hilton?

    86. morgatron says:

      Jabba thinks thats a giant doughnut and the pound coin thinks shes a giant doughnut. Stu, will always support a lost cause, im in.

    87. Schiehallion! Schiehallion! says:

      Wait a week and it’ll be down to 50p, 60p unwaged.

    88. Alan McHarg says:

      If there is no officially registered “Scottish Labour Party” why not just register it for yourself. Then you have the power and control of said party, its constitution and policy. Stand against the plastic London version at 99p per membership, then see what happens! Maybe the cheaper option and you wouldn’t have sullied yourself.

    89. Bugger (the Panda) says:

      Cara Little Chef?

    90. Tam Jardine says:

      Alex Clark

      So that means that with a saving of £34.50 a year every man woman child in the country is better off to the tune of 9.4p per day…. and if the oil price stays the same we can expect the oil per labour party subscription per capita per unit to be at least 758 which is certainly more than the evil nazi party can offer at 792.

      I’m switching Alex, at least until the Hibs share offer

    91. andrew s. says:

      Could this idea be refined slightly? How about joining/taking over the branches for Murphy and Dugdale? Is there any tactical advantage in being a nuisance in the leaders branches?

    92. Bugger (the Panda) says:

      @ morgatron

      A big chocolate coin ?

      Welcome to Poundland?

    93. CameronB. Brodie says:

      A man with a plan. All you need now is some rope Rev. and you could be considered dangerous. 🙂

      I’m not a member of any party, though this sort of jape could persuade me to chnge that. lol

    94. Wait for the January sale.

    95. Andrew Walker says:

      I will be happy enough to sit back and laugh. Safe in the knowledge that they can reduce membership to a pound and still get nowhere in attracting new members. Next……..

    96. mumsyhugs says:

      Yet another example to back up the claims from down south that the jocks are a bunch of subsidy junkies when they have to pay for new Scotliebore members’ admin fees!

    97. Grouse Beater says:

      It is still practise in some quarters to place heavy coins on the deceased’s eyelids to ensure they stay closed … until burial.

    98. Votadini Jeannie says:

      Alan McHarg beat me to it. Register the name Scottish Labour Party and just take their pseudonym. Show them up for the fakers they are, and get everyone rallying around a more honest version of what the Labour party is/was/were. You know what I mean…

    99. drawdeaddave says:

      I’m raging, iv’e already infiltrated the Labour party for a fiver, now everyone else can #BecomeaKnobFor20Bob, i’ll be writing to my local MP about this..

    100. Findlay Farquaharson says:

      love the way you are helping destroy this shite

    101. Effijy says:

      Drat, just realised that Smurphy can put through 50,000 x £1 membership fees on his weekly expenses, without it showing up anything out of the ordinary!

      No it’s OK, his brain couldn’t come up with that many names!

      Drat again, he might just use 50,000 John Smiths on the application forms.

      No, we are alright, after 9 years at university without graduating, he will obviously fail to fill in the forms properly.

      Does anyone know if this is a panic attack?

    102. snode1965 says:

      Why not take over Scottish Tories? Even fewer of them, although even they aint shallow or desperate enough to offer membership for a quid.????

    103. bobjay says:

      The only thing that stops me doing this is that they will then be able to boast in the media about the huge rise in membership.

    104. ronnie anderson says:

      @ Alex Clark am wie you Alex partly, £100,000,000 nae dud cheque,s ya feckers.

    105. Free Scotland says:

      I’m getting very suspicious: our local corner shop is selling Irn Bru at £1.00 a bottle.

    106. Zoidzilla says:

      I’m in. Great idea. Do I need to leave the SNP? I think we should muster somewhere and all join at the same time once we know the numbers. Then either the labour party is ours, or it’s made clear once and for all that Scottish labour can never be controlled from within Scotland.

    107. Do you get Co-op points?

    108. snode1965 says:

      A former work colleague, rabid NO voting,OO unionist, is on Facebook showing off a PIC of his new Labour membership card. So there you have it folks Slab under Murphy have indeed reinvented themselves, the New Labour Unionist Party…wonder how many more Orangeman will join?

    109. jimnarlene says:

      Alex Clark says:
      30 December, 2014 at 10:04 pm

      You shouldn’t kick people when their down. OK it’s Labour, your forgiven.

      The people that hate them most are those that voted for them for decades but have had their eyes opened. Never again!!!

      I’ve never voted for them and I’ve always hated them with a passion. They have lied to the Scottish people for decades. Only interested in keeping people, poor, undereducated,divided and stupid enough to use, as voting fodder.

    110. Andrew Haddow says:

      I doubt ye’ll get a penny in the pound at liquidation next May.

    111. Joemcg says:

      Aye just remember the red Tory mantra pre-ref “there’s nae danger Scotland are using the pound” Now they are begging us for votes!! GET TAE!

    112. Dougie Bee says:

      Stoker 9.35pm..
      luv that saying..”a wudnae gae them the steam aff ma shite..wae the second line…tae heat ther haans”
      Gaans nicely wae.. A wudnae pish on them if they wurr on fire.

      But..count me in if a can be Dougdale…xxx

    113. Fred says:

      Like the Poundshop in Byres Road, everything a fiver. A bit of a con.

    114. Free Scotland says:

      As ma auld faither wid say: “There’s nothin’ guid cheap!”

    115. Adam says:

      Sadly, I don’t think joining the Labour Party gives you voting rights on policy the way it does with the SNP. I think their policies are decided on at leadership level, and the members only get to vote on who leads the party, changes to its constitution etc. Plus, you have to bear in mind that union members who pay a political levy also get to vote – and in Scottish Labour, MPs, MSPs etc make up a third tranche with a 33% weight in all votes. This web page suggests that members have very little influence over party policy:

      So, effectively, all we’d be doing is boosting their membership figures. Not worth the money.

    116. bookie from hell says:

      New Year Honours list

      only political one isGordon Mathenson

      fair enough,commie games and he delt with both tragedies

    117. Mark says:

      A cunning plan. Not only will they lose money, but they’ll get a load of members who want to destroy the party from within – a bit like the Blairites when I think about it…

    118. cearc says:

      I see the lovely Lamont’s hubby has got himself an OBE.

    119. Neil MacGillivray says:

      Lets do it – I’ll put up £100- let me know when

    120. Paula Rose says:

      I baggy chief whip – membership thingy sent, hello Mr Hi Jumpy – little clue honey, not using my real name xx

    121. AnneDon says:

      Nope, still couldn’t bring myself to do it. . .

    122. Wingman2020 says:

      It’s a great shame.
      A great idea with the manpower to make it a reality, spoiled by the visibility on here.
      WOS could be a bigger thorn in the side if there was a measure of confidentiality.

      @Votadini You cannot register a confusingly similar name. It would get thrown out.

      leaving the idea aside… Can anyone imagine the thinking behind the cut price membership? Would going from £5 to £1 really make anyone think ‘Oh yes I really want to become a political activist for Labour, now they have cut the fee’?

      Seriously, this has to be a Labour spoof. Either that or Smurphy is a much bigger idiot than I thought.

    123. johnnypict says:


      Sorry stole #BecomeaKnobFor20Bob and tweeted it …couldn’t resist it. Done it …it’s gone sorry.

      Yes let’s join and change it from within …we cold vote to shut it down!

    124. Dr Jim says:

      Is’nt that wonderfull, but i’ll just take my spare pound and donate it via a couple of bits and bobs to a food bank in the great name of the New and Improved Scottish Murphy Party I’m sure they’d approve of that now would’nt they. By the way is Deputy Dug growing out of the Spuds head there or is he channeling Paul Daniels and his glamorous assistant Dippity Doag and where are her Big Hands. Looks like a cheap date anyway for a quid, or is it a half n half… Somebody stop me it’s endless hours of cheap fun…

    125. Niall says:

      Headline: Murphy doubles Scottish Labour membership. Would they actually give numbers in that case? Would it be worth it just to get a number out of them?

    126. merida says:

      I would be in if I did not already belong to another party!

    127. stonefree says:

      The question I’d ask is, What kind of person would want to a club like that?
      I’d rather have hemorrhoids.
      Stick a quid in a charity tin(any),It’ll do better than giving it to this trash

    128. Thepnr says:


      “I’ve never voted for them and I’ve always hated them with a passion.”

      Careful now, your starting to sound like a Labour party official.

      You can only hate them with a passion such as mine if you believed in them first. Decades of supporting them only to see… nothing worthwhile.

      That’s where mine comes from. Hatred with passion needs a good reason.

    129. Ros says:

      I’d hold off for a few more weeks – they’ll be paying folk to join by then. If a few thousand of us sign up at that point, it would be a great way to fund WBB2 😉

    130. merida says:

      I would if I did not already belong to another party! For people in my position tactical voting may be an option?

    131. Wuffing Dug says:

      Hmmmm. Never interrupt your enemy when they are making a mistake. Why would anybody here even contenplate parting with a penny for these rats. They don’t need to be infiltrated, they need to be destroyed in open battle. Had my suspicions for some time now…. There is no Scottish labour for fuck sake, exactly how much influence could really be exerted. Waste of time and money even if it is only £1.

    132. Jamie says:

      In for a penny….

    133. Hamish says:

      Press News review tonight on Sky.
      Apparently according tomTony Blair Ed the Milliband is too left wing to get elected. Just proves that Tony was a Tory like his old dad decided he could not get elected in the NE of England as a Tory so joined labour – the rest they say is history.

      What a complete shyster.

    134. Truth says:

      As much as I think this idea is brilliant in the sheer multitude of ways it could be exploited, I can’t help but feel the money could be better spent elsewhere.

      So in the words of a famous probable no voter – I’m out.

    135. Doug Morrison says:

      When I joined the MAP I had to sign I was not a member of any other political party. Problem?

    136. tombee says:

      This lot makes Michael Foot look like a statesman. No, that isn’t fair. Sorry Michael, you at least could boast intellect.

    137. Dave McEwan Hill says:

      Better Idea would be to flypost all over the place with posters offering Labour bargain memberships

    138. Clootie says:

      I think the best suggestion is signing up our pets. It will cost them thousands to process and when they announce the increase in membership we can post the details of the signings.

      A series of photographs of goldfish and Labradors with their official party number could be fun.

    139. John D aka Nkosi says:

      Unfortunately, as a card carrying member of Scotland’s largest political party I would be ineligible to join the “Leibour” party. Sadly as I would enjoy turning them inside out.

    140. John D aka Nkosi says:

      Clootie, would donkeys not be better.

    141. John D aka Nkosi says:


      What is confusing, there is no “Scottish Labour Party” there is only a Labour party, hopefully for not much longer of course.

    142. Thepnr says:

      My wee tune for the new “leader” and deputy “leader” of the Labour party and the car boot sale on Labour party membership.

      Jim, you’ll like this.

    143. Chic McGregor says:

      Having been the victim of entryism a couple of times, I don’t agree with it.

    144. Stevie says:

      I’m in

    145. Thepnr says:


      I agree with you, shows though the level we have stooped to with Labour offering memberships at a quid.

      A fiver more than 30 years ago, so much for inflation.

      Or deflation in the case of proud but Scottish Labour.

    146. Sean McNulty says:

      This has to happen, if only to sow even greater suspicion within their ranks about Yesser infiltration. ALL new members would be suspect, right?

      I’m not convinced the media would risk proclaiming some great rise in membership if they knew we were the source of it. And even if they did it would be outweighed by the other benefits, including the drain on their finances through processing applications. Anybody got an estimate for how big a drain btw? Might thirty memberships drain them of £100, say? If so I am in.

    147. Effijy says:

      Come on now be a smarty, let’s go join the Labour Party.
      Pay your Quid Eh, and be a Diddy.

      Lies, distortion don’t cost no fortune
      Turn your throttle
      join for the price of a Gingy bottle.

      Please don’t be strident
      give a pound in support of Trident.

      Go on give Smurph a Nicker
      watch the food bank lights dim and flicker.

      They want to Rap it up!!!!!!!!!!!

    148. Chic McGregor says:

      @Alex, Jim

      I prefer this one from MOR, not just for its appropriateness in terms of exploited internecine rancour by the imperial machine, but, quite unashamedly, because it is the only hit I know of which mentions my clan.

    149. smac says:

      I’m in.

      If the labour party wont change then we will have to change it for them.

    150. ronnie anderson says:

      @ Thepnr ur you implying they,re White Lineing on the cheap cheap,am hiding ma Talcum Powder.

    151. Neil Munro says:

      My cats have no scruples, they would make ideal members

    152. Chic McGregor says:

      Trust me Murphy would just change the rules to eliminate rank and file members’ voting rights at conference and leadership elections.

      That’s his MO.

    153. CameronB. Brodie says:

      I hope you plan on handing in our resignation Rev., when you register us. 🙂

      I think there is already a suitable template.

      ”Please accept my resignation. I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member”’. – Groucho Marx

    154. Thepnr says:


      NO :), I’m implying that there Mama, Daddy and baby have gone!

      How many more we need we get rid of? And i won’t be back even at a quid.

    155. caledonia says:

      But we will be joining the much bigger uk labour party or is the scottish branch seperate

    156. ronnie anderson says:

      Something smells fishy oh its the S> QUID ok ah vecating the premises.

    157. Thepnr says:


      Nice 🙂 Tweedle Dum and Dee right enough.

    158. hadrianswall says:


      OT. Does anyone know if a SNP politician has been offered an honour or received one under the New Years or Queens birthday honour list ever?

    159. Thepnr says:


      Sorry no, but it’s less about who is offered than who accepts eh.

    160. Roughian says:

      Thepnr & Chic McGregor.
      Chick Youngs wife singer in Middle of the Road.

    161. Andrea says:

      well it could backfire badly – think of the publicity they would get saying that people were returning to Labour in their droves … the most vulnerable citizens would be once more misinformed…

      However doing it for a public tearing up of your Labour membership 3 weeks before the Election might be heaps of fun….

    162. Thepnr says:


      “Chick Youngs wife singer in Middle of the Road.

      Cheep? I’ve no idea but I know Labour now are.

    163. jock mc X says:

      save the cash,invade wales and england,wake them up.

    164. Lesley-Anne says:

      I’ve just checked my e-mail and wouldn’t you know it I’ve been sent a very nice pleading, nah scratch that, BEGGING letter from some non entity called Kezia something or other begging me to pay her a pound to join some non descript party to keep the Tories out of number 10.

      From today you can join the Scottish Labour Party for just £1 and join us in our mission to make Scotland the fairest nation on earth and remove David Cameron from Downing Street.

      I really do not know how best to reply to her. After all I would not want to be responsible for the suicide rate within the Labour party (North Britain branch) going through the roof now would I? 😉

      I am just wondering. If the Labour party (North Britain branch) has now reduced membership to their phone box appreciation society from £5 down to £1 then I think I’ll just hold off joining, after all they will surely be reducing membership fees again in the near future to 1 pence won’t they? 😛

    165. bugsbunny says:

      I would like to wish the Ex-First Minister a Very Happy 60th Birthday today.

      Happy Birthday Alex. And I hope you have a good one. Scotland owes you a favour that it can never repay. You have opened the eyes, and the hearts and minds of many Scots who now see the light. If nothing else, that horrible statue in Glasgow of the “Father of Scotland”, aye right, should be torn asunder, Russian style, and replaced by one of you.

      Thank you Sir, for all your help. You didn’t lose on 19th September. The Establishment simply didn’t win. Next time, however, we will.

      You have given your youth and your health to Scotland, and you have selflessly given away money to those less fortunate.

      You will go on, I predict to win Gordon comfortably, and help lead, along with Angus, at least 40 MP’s. I also predict 70 + SNP MSP’s in 2016, along with at least a dozen other pro- indy legislators. We will take Glasgow in 2017, and from then lead the way to May 2019, where I also predict a small majority on a high turnout for YES. By 2021 we should be free.

      Thank you again big man, and once again, many happy returns on your 60th Birthday.

      Enjoy your cake. Hope it’s Blue and White, without any bitter orange in it. lol.


    166. Lesley-Anne says:

      I’ve just had an outside the box thinking moment here.

      As we all know a great many members of the S.N.P., including Nicola Sturgeon were e-mailed recently asking them for something or other, I can’t remember at the moment. Has Kezia whatshername sent Nicola a begging letter for a quid? 😀

    167. Chic McGregor says:

      Its a tryptic caption comp.

      “One pound at a time”
      “Who dat?”
      “One pound aint enough for Zaphod Beeblebrox”

    168. Alex Clark says:


      Well I didn’t know (obviously to some) but second it wholeheartedly.

      Particularly with an eye to the future.

      There are others here that should not be forgot, I don’t think you will forget that.

      Happy Birthday.

    169. bugsbunny says:

      Indeed. But his is the only birthday I know of in the vast Independence movement. Happy Birthday to everyone over the next 12 months, whenever it comes up and a Good New Year,to One and All.


    170. PRJ says:

      Why not start your own polical party and call it “The Labour Party of scotland.” Memberships wouldn’t be a problem it may well become the second biggest in Scotland, has the potential to be the biggest.

    171. Bob Sinclair says:

      A £1, naw, I can get 1/2 dozen eggs for that.

    172. bugsbunny says:

      Give the “Scottish” Labour Party £1?

      I personally wouldn’t and couldn’t give tuppence for their party. Which, less face it, are all their actually worth.


    173. Alex Clark says:

      Well said Bob.

      A 1/2 dozen eggs is preferable. At least you can eat the eggs.

      Being a member of Labour will only eat at you.

    174. CRAIGthePICT says:

      Chic McGregor says:
      31 December, 2014 at 12:20 am
      Having been the victim of entryism a couple of times, I don’t agree with it.

      Bloody hell Chic, that sounds painful.

      O/T for a late night read:

    175. mumsyhugs says:

      Now Bob Sinclair, just what would you be intending to do with those eggs????

    176. Al says:

      This is one for Radical Independece.

    177. Ken500 says:

      Unionists at Westminster are deliberately trying to ruin the Scottish Oil industry deliberately over taxing it. They are trying to destroy the Scottish economy, to destroy the Fiscal autonomy/Independence movement. They increased the tax 11% (£2Billion) in the 2011Budget. Scotland has lost £4Billion+ a year by 2015 – £16Billion. Scotland will lose 4Billion+ a year until the tax is taken off. They are deliberately ruining the Oil Sector in Scotland for political purposes, for nothing more than spite. Westminster is corrupt. Carmichael and D. Alexander are trying to ruin their constituents lives.

      Vote SNP/Alliance in 7/5/15.

    178. Al says:

      Also wouldn’t be chuffed as a Union member paying £23 per year. Hope the Unions protect their members and ask for a £22 per head rebate.

    179. Ken500 says:

      Happy birthday King Alex the best leader and FM Scotland has every had. Your gave your life for progress and justice for people, and to right the wrongs of a corrupt political system. Devoted your life to give Scotland confidence and stand up against Westminster corruption. Thank you for that.

      The final phase is now starting, let’s hope you continue to prosper and bring the truth to people, and hope one day there will be a more equal peaceful and prosperous world. Alex will walk it 7/5/15. Scotland can see in the next New Year’s with confidence through fiscal autonomy /Independence. People in Scotland can prosper in happiness and peace.

    180. Ken500 says:

      Labour can’t win an election because of the liars Blair and Brown. The illegal wars and banking fraud destroying the lives of millions worldwide. Who would join their corrupt Party ever? aka all Unionist Parties. The Unionist Parties are corrupt, that is why they have so few members. The majority despise them. Those who can do. Those who can’t join a Unionist Party, for self interest.

    181. john king says:

      Brian W says
      “I’ve got £1.50 form my Christmas clootie dumpling (funnily enough it came out the pan in same shape as Kezia’s heid.”

      Why would a clootie dumpling coming oot in the shape of a– eh— clootie dumpling be interesting? 🙂
      BtP says
      “Bugger (w Panda)

      I think they would suss me.


      Its the bowtie.
      Stonefree says
      “The question I’d ask is, What kind of person would want to a club like that?
      I’d rather have hemorrhoids.
      Stick a quid in a charity tin(any),It’ll do better than giving it to this trash”

      Its a wrap people lets get this in the can!

      Thanks for the idea Effijy 🙂
      I put a little something together,
      hope you like it

    182. Ken500 says:

      When will Scotland’s poll tax and warrant sale hero, Tommy Sheridan have his conviction quoshed. All the evidence is there against the corrupt NoW employees. Get moving Scottish Justice system and stop putting innocent people in cells, when all ‘charges’ are dropped. It is a waste of time, public money and illegal. The Sheridan ‘show trial’ was organised by Blair and Labour/Unionists on behalf of the illegal NoW, and the reptile. Sheridan was taking votes away from Labour/Unionists in their heartland. It cost £5Million and was corrupt. The witnesses lied. House should have been replaced or side line when the Police Scotland was formed. Half of Police Scotland could have a week end off, by stop putting innocent people in cells. Is the purpose to put the arrest figures up, and demand even more public money?

    183. yesindyref2 says:

      Ooh, you are awful, but I like you!

      Sorry, SNP member, can’t join in the fun.

    184. Dale says:

      I don’t want to join a party £12,317,275 in debt. I think that hangover from biting the unions while fighting elections as a PR exercise makes even a £1 membership over priced.

    185. john king says:

      I found this really funny 🙂
      I am a bad person
      I’ll get my coat 🙁

    186. Brat Wurst says:

      Are you all gone mad ?
      Would you sign up with the BNP, even for a joke ??

      Let them join the tories. London will never introduce an independent Scotish Labour party.

    187. Alastair Wright says:

      I think you should use some of the money registering your own party with the Electoral Commission and stand in a constituency in Scotland, you could call the party ‘Scottish Labour’ – That really would be an issue for them.

    188. bugsbunny says:


      Signed with pleasure.


    189. Roger Hyam says:

      Damn – I joined the SNP to make a point after the referendum and so I can’t joint he Scottish Branch of the Labour to make a point. What galls me is that it might have been more fun.

    190. Macart says:

      Aye, go on then. 🙂

      On another note, I don’t know about anyone else, but today I’m not feeling the hogmanay spirit. I don’t feel like a celebration or the anticipation of the new year, the way I normally do. Something seems missing, out of joint, just plain amiss.

      I’ll see in the new year right enough, shake a few hands, raise a glass to family and friends present and far away, but I don’t know how to express it, it won’t be ‘hogmanay’ tonight. My heart won’t be in it for some reason. 🙁

    191. Kn500 says:

      Hopkins is deranged. It is the Westminster Gov who are no putting proper H & S guidelines for healthcare workers which is endangering Scotland. How can Save the Children (awarded Blair) some charity healthcare officials be so complacent. It is is unbelievable a proper quarantine system has not been introduced by Westminster, where the responsibility lies, to protect the public. Anywhere but subsidised Heathrow. It is hell.

      Westminster is not competent and cannot be trusted on Health & Safety issues, guidelines, and enforcement in Scotland, as their lack of a action and compkete incompetence in the Scottish Oil Industry shows. Westminster is getting away with murder, illegal wars, illegal banking, and corporate fraud, lack of health and safety guidelines show. Westminster total complacency and irresponsibility Is once again putting lives at risk. The risk came from South of the border to Scoland. Not the other way round.

      What will Katy do next? For some cheap publicity.

    192. Dan Huil says:

      Mind you, £7,000 can buy you a lot of eggs, free-range ones too!

      And when it comes to counting the postal votes of new members… well, who would trust Labour with that?!

    193. Ken500 says:

      Why bother giving them pound? Waste of time and money. Just vote them out it’s cheaper.

    194. Dorothy Devine says:

      Won’t be signing Paul – I can hear the shrieks of “free speech” from the journalists.

      Let’s face it , from the DT to the DM, the Guardian to the Herald, they happily trundle out and spread bile to suit their masters agendas ,that is their function and they all seem mightily proud to indulge in it.

      The stupid blonde woman is only one of many reported ,the journalists do their own bilious crap too – so there would be never ending petitions and always somebody from the media yelling ” free speech” as they did with gusto over Leveson.

      Whatever happened to that gloriously expensive enquiry??

    195. Macart says:

      @ Dorothy

      Just caught up on this Katy Hopkins thing last night. Pretty grim, then that’s what you come to expect from ignorant non entities like Ms Hopkins who are given credence and space to vent their racist views to the world.

      Who’s worse? The loud mouthed Ms Hopkins, or the media who give this creature space?

      Tough call these days. They are both equally vile as far as I’m concerned and both equally deserving of condemnation.

    196. Lenny Hartley says:


      Im with you on hogmany cant get up for it either, not even bothering staying up for the bells.

      Best wishes for the newyear t o Rev Stu and all wossers

    197. Dave says:

      Went on to join and noticed that once you get to the Payment page the ‘Scottish’ Labour Party suddenly becomes the Labour Party.

      As they say, follow the money.

    198. Brian Fleming says:

      One of my more gullible Unionist ex-friends (he didn’t want anything more to do with such a scary fanatic who questioned the integrity of the BBC) told me just over a year ago that Labour for Independence was “just an SNP front”. Stu’s idea would make SLab in its entirety just an SNP front. Oh, the delicious irony.

    199. Stoker says:

      hadrianswall says:
      “Does anyone know if a SNP politician has been offered an honour or received one under the New Years or Queens birthday honour list ever?”

      Here’s a full list of this years “Scots” recipients.
      As per usual, its loaded with WTF type recipients.

    200. Macart says:


      I think its a case that this year (and hopefully only for a short period), it ceased to be hogmanay and simply became new years.

    201. While it’s a wheeze, all this idea would do is to give Murphy a reason to shout about the “increase” in membership.

    202. chalks says:

      ‘Alastair Wright says:
      31 December, 2014 at 7:46 amI think you should use some of the money registering your own party with the Electoral Commission and stand in a constituency in Scotland, you could call the party ‘Scottish Labour’ – That really would be an issue for them.’



    203. Free Scotland says:

      With Murphy and Dugdale, you get two idiots for the price of one.

    204. kangaroo says:

      It would be simpler and easier to target seats that labour may win in 2015 and stack the branch with new members. That way you can f them over really really cheaply.
      Probably only cost a few hundred poonds rather than thoosands

    205. G. P. Walrus says:

      Sorry, but when you put up the Wings fundraisers you didn’t give the impression that the money might go to the Labour Party. If you had I would certainly not have donated and if you go ahead with this I will be unlikely to donate again.

    206. Effijy says:

      Thanks John King at 6.22am
      Great Clip on You Tube.
      I think Smurphy will begin growing that wee mustache on 1st Jan.

    207. Chitterinlicht says:

      @Rev. Stuart Campbell

      “Wee fixer upper’. You been watching Frozen again?

      Need more than some magic trolls to fix labour.

      On another note good to see British Labour Party are recycling. Sure those big Poond coins from #indyref

    208. donald anderson says:

      I see I wuz left oot o’ the Hours list again. I wonder why?

      It is a bad idea to inflate the membership of the Royal Lumpen Party. They lie enough about that as it is.

    209. KriegersClones says:

      But, it’s not a “one member, one vote” system, and you don’t want to given them cause to rave about “thousands of new members”. I love the mischief-making element, but the deck is already stacked against regular members having any real impact on anything in SLab.

    210. Kalmar says:

      Ach… It’s a fun idea but probably better just to ignore them, on balance.

    211. stonefree says:

      @ Dale : 7:16 am
      It was between £25Million and £33Million, A possible reason for bank rescue?
      When Prescot, found out he was personally liable (as a member of the NEC)for some of that,he crapped himself.

    212. Tamson says:

      @GP Walrus:

      Although this scheme does involve giving money to Labour, it will result in Labour losing money. It will cost them more than £1 to process each membership, particularly if Freepost facilities are (ab)used.

    213. Dorothy Devine says:

      Good morning Macart.

      I think there is something hideously wrong with the press when the man who scolded me last year for wishing them all a demise of spectacular size is now wishing them the same!

      May 2015 be the rebirth of truth , integrity and honesty from the MSM – a faint hope!

      May Scotland thrive in 2015.

      Good health, good humour and good friends to all.

    214. Paul says:

      Much appreciated Bugs. Dorothy, that had crossed my mind too, however had she said black people or Jewish people (many more examples could be used here) instead of just bad Cockney rhyming slang/casual racism would you still feel that it would be a freedom of speech issue?

      I’m in agreement that it doesn’t feel very much like Hogmany either. Happy new year to all when it comes 😉

    215. stonefree says:

      Gordon Matheson. For services in Local Parks and Gardens . (Glasgow)
      Dear Goodness

    216. Chic McGregor says:

      @Craig the Pict
      “Bloody hell Chic, that sounds painful.”

      Yeah a bad combination of head cold, cough syrup and alcohol didn’t help my edit filter last night and my editing is bad at the best of times.

      Notice I also said “One pound aint enough for Zaphod Beeblebrox” which should have been “One pound aint enough, or is it Zaphod Beeblebrox?”, otherwise it doesn’t make a lot of sense.

    217. David McCann says:

      Not a bad idea. Not a bad idea at all. We could call it the Airborne Div, or the Flying Pickets!

    218. Wee jock poo-pong mcplop says:

      @ gp walrus, 09:46:

      Yikes! Lighten up ma mannie, it’s only a bit of fun!

    219. Sandra Wilson says:

      Murphy said on national television the rise in SNP membership was due to the fact that it cost a pound to join (which incidentally went unchallenged by the “interviewer”. I found it personally insulting to my intelligence and political savvy that I choose to affiliate to a political party based on cost. This offer speaks volumes about their contempt for the Scottish voter. Aye right Jim we will join Labour because it only costs a pound and forget that you stood shoulder to shoulder with the Tories to deny Scotland a better future. The second word is off, you have a choice of first words..

    220. Jo says:

      Only problem is the MSM will call it a surge in support. Labour doubles membership! Better to leave them to collapse all on their own. Amusing all the same. They would just change their rules.

    221. Gary Sutherland says:

      I’m very tempted to sign-up my dog for membership.

      I’d leave it a while then cancel and ask for a pro rata refund.

    222. MarkAustin says:

      I’ve just checked the Party registration database:

      Scottish Labour Party isn’t a registered party.

      However, it is registered as a permitted designation on a ballot paper, and as an Accounting Unit of the Labour Party, with an address—wait for it– of:

      One Brewer’s Green , Buckingham Gate , London , SW1H 0RH , United Kingdom

      Pretty well all “Accounting Units” have this address, including all the Constituency Parties

    223. Stoker says:

      Free Scotland says:
      “With Murphy and Dugdale, you get two idiots for the price of one.”

      Roll up, roll up, get yer numpties here, 2 furra price o wan.
      stonefree says:
      “Gordon Matheson. For services in Local Parks and Gardens.”

      Is it just me or is there a wee pattern developing here?
      Take a look at certain recipients from Glasgow, Edinburgh and Stirling. These are all areas which granted permission for large sectarian Orange parades prior to the referendum. We already know of Matheson’s filthy dirty dealings on these matters, but i can’t help but feel that’s how certain individuals have been rewarded.

    224. George Ferguson says:

      I wouldn’t. Labour have no momentum, don’t give them any!. They need to be wiped out at the poll in May to convert Jim Murphy and his crew to being a pro indy party. 40 plus SNP MP’s ought to do it.

    225. Valerie says:

      Sorry, I’m a member of Scotland’s largest party, and I like McVs idea, of us having a large party of kebabs and booze, and turning up at the HQ with our giant pound coins, for a chat with Labour.

      That pound gets me 2 days worth of the National.

    226. Luigi says:

      Wuffing Dug says:
      30 December, 2014 at 11:26 pm

      Hmmmm. Never interrupt your enemy when they are making a mistake. Why would anybody here even contenplate parting with a penny for these rats. They don’t need to be infiltrated, they need to be destroyed in open battle. Had my suspicions for some time now…. There is no Scottish labour for fuck sake, exactly how much influence could really be exerted. Waste of time and money even if it is only £1.

      I agree, they really really don’t need to be infiltrated. Why contribute to Jim Murphy’s retirement fund?

    227. David Agnew says:

      The Scottish Branch of UK labour has an image problem as well as a problem with the product. The have like many before them, simply decided the price was the issue.

      The image problem is a combination of issues. The main glaring one is their lack of awareness that they are in fact, a branch of a UK party. Their “leader” is in fact a Branch chairperson. Their real leader is Ed Miliband. But over the years they have come to genuinely believe that they are independent of UK labour. They have to follow the UK party line except where the issue is devolved, but even then their tendency is to imitate the UK party anyways.

      The last issue is the product. This is a shabby, rightwards leading mess. It’s sold with a left leaning political cant, but one can not mistake the desire to imitate the conservatives austerity agenda. So what they are offering is in fact a polished turd.

      This toxic brew has left Scottish labour thinking it is the master of its own political destiny, while expected to sell a polished turd. And those poor deluded bastards think the problem is the price of the turd.

    228. bugsbunny says:


      I think Matheson got his gong for services to Mouthwash, (allegedly).


    229. boris says:

      Might assist constituents at the GE next year

      Shotts MP Pamela Nash claimed almost double the expenses of Motherwell and Wishaw MP Frank Roy during the first eight months of the last financial year. The latest round of MP’s expenses, released last week by the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority, revealed that Ms Nash claimed £39,155.34 in business costs and expenses from April 2011 to early January this year.

      The only reason she was picked was because John Reid and London Labour forced a female only vote

    230. Barontorc says:

      Don’t give that carpetbagger Murphy a glimpse of a chance for publicity. Ignore him and his disintegrating disgraced party.

      It’s only half-time and time to get the gloves off and be rid of all shysters.

      Happy New Year to all! So much can happen in 2015!

    231. heedtracker says:

      BBC R4 right now with new new Labour candidate says Hogmanay will “reframe” Scotland and we will vote Labour in May. Its not made clear why Hogmanay has this power to make us vote Labour and but so, another day another BBC attack on Scottish democracy while pretending its not here and has nothing to do with brainwashing, lying to and above all else, threatening Scotland.

    232. PictAtRandom says:

      There must be scope for a Greg Moodie cartoon about BritLab heading downhill on their fleet of pound-farthings.
      Though how he ties that in with Jim The Toaster I’m not sure.

      Donald Anderson: Sorry you were left off Betty’s Hogmanay List, but you should have made it clear that you were fighting for glory, wealth and for honours.

    233. fred blogger says:

      political super car for £12 pa or £1 cycle clip hire for a year, and still have to buy yer own bike, hmmmm, tough choice!

    234. Bob Mack says:

      Happy birthday to my living icon Alex Salmond. We owe you much. Best birthday present I can give you is my assurance that I will work my hardest to make both our dreams come true.Regards

    235. Sinky says:


      Daily retard reports that Michael Stewart former Scotland, Manchester United, Hearts and Hibs footballer turned BBC pundit is an SNP candidate for Edinburgh West.

    236. Effijy says:

      Demanding a Pound for Flesh!
      Shyster is a fictional character in Shakespear’s The Merchant of Menace. A Vegetarian moneylender, Shyster is the play’s principal antagonist. His defeat and his conversion to SMP forms the climax of the story.
      Typically played as a villain,, Shyster has been increasingly portrayed as a semi-tragic figure whose vengeful acts arise from his vilification.

      It’s all on Wikipedia if you don’t belive me. lol

    237. Bob Mack says:

      It is probably just the resolution on my screen , but is there some kind of Olympic thing going on with these pound coins.They look like gold silver and bronze to me.
      Gold to Murphy top numpty
      bronze to Bailey Dugdale silver.
      Methinks a wooden spoon might be more accurate.

    238. Stoker says:

      Why would anyone want to click on a direct link to The Daily Rectum and help boost that filthy rags advertising revenues?

    239. Luigi says:

      heedtracker says:
      31 December, 2014 at 11:24 am

      “Its not made clear why Hogmanay has this power to make us vote Labour..”.

      Jackie Bird, of course!

      “Let’s call it devo max…”

    240. Bugger (the Panda) says:

      @ Bob Mack

      Just the colour from the photograph. Different photo rendition, paper, gloss or matt, newspaper or magazine, electronic, lighting and exposure etc .

      Think they are all the same, devalued?

    241. Bugger (the Panda) says:


      Gordon Matheson was given his “honour” for services to parks and parking lots.

    242. Helena Brown says:

      Much as I would love to, as a member of the SNP I cannot join in the fun, nor can any other member. I will happily pay someone else’s membership though.

    243. Wee Jonny says:

      I’m in.


    244. Bob Sinclair says:

      Gordon Matheson being bought off with a New Years honour – gives new meaning to the phrase ‘what a sucker’

    245. Sandra says:

      That picture just proves Labour have the tiniest candidates.
      Don’t waste your money on them, Stu. All the best for 2015!

    246. wingman 2020 says:

      News Flash

      Jan 2015 – Labour membership in Scotland up threefold.

      Feb 2015 – Labour investigating all new members due to WOS trickery

      March 2015 – Chuka Umunna complains to Murphy that processing Scottish Labour memberships is costing London money for zero benefit.

      April 1st 2015 – Labour memberships fall to new low as a mass resignation happens.

    247. Helena Brown says:

      Changed my mind, I am women I can do that, no I am not giving any money for this. Will put it into a charity tin seeing Labour are complaining that council workers are depending on Charity here in Fife. Well some Union leader is, isn’t that the same.

    248. heedtracker says:

      @ Luigi, twas BBC going vox pop to see how hard the “rift” is up here in their north Briton region but nothing at all about how hard this ghastly outfit did everything they could to destroy Scottish democracy. No wonder ofcourse, as Project Fear never gives up because it can’t.

      History written by winners who can’t write their own triumph. If the BBC cannot in fact save Scottish Labour this time in May, we have to make it count because they’ll be back and even harder hitting. Real power like this in Scotland is never going to be given up by England or their chums in Scotland.

    249. Ewan says:

      I’d buy that for a dollar!

    250. Macart says:


      At the beginning of the campaign I believed in giving them a chance. I even had hopes, like the YES campaign, that more than just the one would see the light, but not to be sadly.

      Now? Well now I’d shed no tears for any title’s demise.

      Have a good one Dorothy.

      Same to all wingers. Have a good new year and let’s do the business next May. 🙂

    251. teechur says:

      Hells, yes! I’m in. I’m even willing to pay my own pound just to help make it happen! 🙂

    252. caledonia says:

      We must Not Not Not Not Not Not Not Not Not Not Not Not Not Not Not
      Not Not Not Not Not Not Not Not Not Not do this as they are clearly looking for the puplicity

    253. A (reluctant) Labour Member says:

      (Member in England, etc)
      Strictly speaking, all current members of another party (excluding the Cooperative Party, but that is another debate) are not able to be members of the Labour Party. However, there is no practical way of enforcing this, since you’ve no way of checking. And yes, you’re right, the costs of administration are far more than the income – branches need to send written notice at least once a year of meetings etc, so that alone will eat up any money raised.

      Joining now is too late to affect selections etc for Westminster in 2015, as you have to have been a member for six months to take part in selections. The £1 offer (according to the rule book) applies only for a maximum of two years, after which you’d automatically be moved onto the standard £40-ish per year.

      That said, joining and going en masse to meetings might give some amusement, particularly if there’s some key individuals you want to, uhh, make life difficult for. Most branches are likely to have AGMs in late May before the CLPs have them in summer, so turning up and nominating/voting your people into key positions would cause no end of trouble.

    254. Paul patience says:

      I’m up for joining LieBour for a pound

    255. To all WINGERS and my fellow patriots, nationalists etc for 2015 and onwards HAPPY NEW YEAR and LANG MAY YER LUM REEK.

    256. msean says:

      MarkAustin 10:39

      That’ll be LundinLabour then.

      Happy birthday to all with birthdays today though.

    257. Notice Jack’s wife, Dr Bridget Mary McConnell, Chief executive, Culture and Sport Glasgow, gets a CBE for services to Culture.

      If we have to be subjected to this charade of honours perhaps a petition could be started to give them names with relevance. Commander of the British Empire – just confirms nothing has changed, and never will.

      Not in favour of the Labour wheeze, though, hilarious as it at first may seem. Any increase in membership would be relentlessly trumpeted and used against the SNP. But I’m sure some other such scheme for the use of what remains in the kitty will be forthcoming.

    258. wingman 2020 says:

      Better idea would be to register WOS as a political party and sign up enough members on here to make WOS the second biggest political party in Scotland.

      Then publicise it with the £7000 Stu mentioned.

      Now that has to be newsworthy 🙂 Good or bad publicity, it would draw more people to the site.

    259. snode1965 says:

      Gordon Matheson earned his gong for services to The Queen’s Militia, orange order, in Glasgow. He told an audience of OO that his pre election promise the cut the number of walks in Glasgow had been flawed. Labour going back on an election promise…shocking! Never mind Queenie is positively purring at the thought of her Militia having a free reign to intimidate the upstart jocks.

    260. yesindyref2 says:

      I tend to agree that it gives Labour the chance of boasting about massive increases in members.

      On the other hand, if those that “joined” were all hard-working activists around election time, with their Labour rosettes and paraphernalia, handing out leaflets with the message “Scottish Labour says vote SNP to keep the Tories out”, then it could be interesting.

      But shhhh, I didn’t just say that, it wasn’t me.

    261. badgerboydarling says:

      How do we get rid of the unionist problem in Scotland? Simple we vote out every unionist party mp, these brit trojan horses have to be thrown out of office.

    262. Dorothy Devine says:

      I wasn’t scolding you back Macart – honest!

      Paul , my point was the MSM is quite happy to shout about restrictions on them but more than happy to restrict comment from those who contradict or criticise them.

      The same applies to the BBBC – who have not just restricted comment in Scotland but done away with any opportunity of those who pay their salaries to correct or contradict the biased drivel they merrily feed us.

      Both the print and broadcast media are utterly disgusting and I can only wish ” A pox on both their houses” throughout 2015 and beyond.
      May retribution be swift and sure.

    263. Mark says:


    264. Steph Daly says:

      To misquote Russell Brand . . .

      “Jim Murphy is no more than a pound shop Tony Blair!”

    265. Devereux says:

      Happy New Year to the wonderful Wings community – infrequent commentator but ever sustained by your wit, anger, fun, passion and downright general greatness. Hail Caesar!

    266. Helena Brown says:

      Yes I see corruption is endemic in the ahem “British Establishment” that Joke’s wife gets a wee bauble for her own.
      May I wish everyone on Wings also a very Happy New Year and that we are all ready to write another page in the History of Scotland, 21st Century which will make the self same establishment very very unhappy indeed.

    267. BornOptimist says:

      Suggesting joining the Labour party is a great spoof, even though lots of Wingers think it could be more than that. I reckon £7,000 could be put to much better use (there are numerous foodbanks around, after all, and the GE coming up). Additionally, simply because of your suggestion Stu, anyone who dares to join from now on will be suspect. Are they a Winger, or not?

      Labour in Scotland are already on the way to the toilet and if worrying about ‘new’ members gives their northern ‘leader’ an additional headache not many people will dig out the paracetamol.

      Happy New Year everyone.

    268. Snode1965 says:

      Just heard that Katie Hopkins has been reported to Police Scotland, who are investigating claims of HaHa!

    269. Derek McLean says:

      Let’s do this! Awesome! Count me in!

    270. Sean McNulty says:

      Folks, all joking aside this is a chance to cause financial and organisational bedlam for them. And a very suspicious atmosphere whether we turn up at their meetings or not. ALL new members will be suspected of being Wings plants, thus discouraging anybody else from joining.

    271. thomaspotter2014 says:

      Nice joke Rev,but I’ll be damned if thoughts of joining ‘Scottish’ North Branch of Labour is going to be the one I’m taking into the New Year.
      All I can hope for them is that they enjoy a slow demoralising lingering demise.
      And to all the wingers and readers and supporters may the New Year be amazing and another step on the way to Independence.
      Best Regards for the New Year.
      Would’ve been lost without you.

    272. Robert Kerr says:

      Plant paranoia!

      Brilliant and costs zilch!

      We know they read WoS so here’s tae us!

      Here’s tae 2015.

      Happy New Year tae all Wingers and the heid Winger himsel!

    273. Chris says:

      Well, that’s backfired on them. I’ve finally joined the SNP in the last few minutes (after a long internal dialogue – I’m not a joiner of parties and haven’t been a member of one since my Labour membership lapsed nearly 30 years ago).

      The final straw was this latest scam from the local branch – I appreciate the idea of joining and subverting/redirecting the branch and causing Murphy and co. a headache, but I don’t think I could sleep at night as part of the stat of “being a member of Scotland’s fastest growing political party” or whatever lie they come up with of the back of this. Instead I’m hoping to be one of the people to take the SNP past 100,000.

    274. YESGUY says:

      Hilarious Rev.

      A wee lift to help bring in the bells. We lost a closely fought campaign in 2014. But although down we were not beaten. We learned, organised and are much better prepared for the next battle. May 2015. When the whole of the UK will hear Scotlands voice loud and proud.

      Watching Labour implode is our just reward. STOKER hit it on the nail with his earlier comment. Spat my tea all over the screen ….. again. 😀

      Happy Birthday Mr Salmond. And a huge thanks for your incredible work. You have dragged this country kicking and screaming into the 21st century and gave us back our pride and hope for the future.

      Macart. Hogmanay

      Going to bed early tonight myself. But we do have so much to be happy about and that should be celebrated. I’ll raise a wee glass to you and all Wingers knowing the fight goes on with high hopes for a new year.

      Happy new Year to all Wingers. Your comments keep many a smile on our faces. More please for 2015.

    275. drawdeaddave says:

      All the ones saying it will backfire and Murphy will shout from the rooftops about the surge in membership, he will do that anyway surge or no surge, he is already on record saying membership at 20K, so that’s the benchmark set by himself, so any consequent figure will have to be a lot more than that if his #BecomeaKnobFor20Bob campaign is successful, anything less than 20K well that would be humiliating..

    276. drawdeaddave says:

      A simple but very cunning plan Baldric.

      If we all join for a quid and it costs more to process then that’s a result.

      If we all use the middle initial W then that’s funny.

      If we all resign two months before the election then that’s hilarious and a result

      Lets do it and cause turmoil

    277. jimnarlene says:

      Thepnr says:
      30 December, 2014 at 11:24 pm

      “Careful now, your starting to sound like a Labour party official.”

      That’s a bit harsh.

      I really do hate them, for being the two faced lying scum that they are. Pretending to fight for the working class, while simultaneously shafting them. For a hundred years or so they promised home rule for Scotland and they have renaged on it at every opportunity. I believe they are content with, keeping the poor poor, communities divided and the majority undereducated and underachieving. So they can continue the pretence, that they give a toss.
      I can see your point about, once being a member then, finding out it was a sham; it does give you a reason to hate them but, for the reasons I have outlined above; I share that emotion with you and I suspect many others do too.

    278. cirsium says:

      @Stoker, 9.27

      That definitely is a WTF list.

    279. manandboy says:

      If I was John McTernan, I’d launch the ‘join Lab for a pound’ campaign because it keeps Jim in the headlines and on telly.
      But it may very well indicate a real fear in WM Unionist ranks, stemming from more polls in favour of the SNP, that more feet on the ground will be needed.

      They have had a panic attack before over poll results – in the Referendum –
      they might just be about to have another one.

      Personally, I don’t blame them,
      as the Unionist politicians are all standing on the edge of a huge tank of manure just waiting to be pushed in by the angry electorate.

    280. Keir Robinson says:

      Sadly I’m not sure I’d be allowed in, as I’m a paying member of the Scottish Green Party…

    281. Derek McLean says:

      Here’s a FACEBOOK GROUP for doing this, lets see if we can get the numbers!

    282. Macart says:


      Have a good one and all the very best. 🙂

    283. Robert Peffers says:

      @Rev Stu:
      ” So for about £7000 we could sign up enough new members to effectively take the Scottish “party” over and make it adopt any policies (and select any candidates) we liked.”




      For a moment there I thought you’d been at the New Years grog a bit early. Then I read, “We’re only half joking. Who’s in?”

      With the sleaze record of Scottish Labour elected members I wouldn’t trust a bent penny any closer than 10 miles from any of them. Much less buy into their scams.

    284. Fabienne MATTHEWS says:

      If we can’t influence décisions, How about joining, get the card, ie cost them money, then quit? Let’s see if they communicate the lors of membres too…

    285. shug says:

      My dug wants to join
      and use me as a forwarding address

    286. Derek McLean says:

      You gotta ask God for my forgiveness! What have I done?!?!?!

    287. Marcia says:

      Sign up a friend instead and wait for the explosion.

    288. Bugger (the Panda) says:

      @ Helena

      You are right, we are writing history; us the unwashed sweaties.

      Doesn’t that feel so good?

    289. Bugger (the Panda) says:



    290. Dodgardiner says:

      I’m with Robert Kerr on this, even just planting the thought that all their new members ‘could’ be saboteurs is a win in itself…keep them paranoid.

    291. Vronsky says:

      How many £1 memberships would you need to control their electoral college? Something over 13,000, according to past articles.

    292. Derek McLean says:

      Rev! Word on the street from an amigo with a (Very) high source is the actual figures for membership are closer to 4000 than 7000!

    293. velofello says:

      Too many comments to read so if I’m repeating what’s already been said…

      Buying SLAB would make you a shareholder not a member, so you can continue as a member of the SNP, Greens, SSP. A bit like being a “staunch” Labour politician and taking up your stake/seat in the House of Lords. There is no conflict of interest if you choose not to see it, I suppose.

      Would we be obliged to take the staff with the buyout? Murphy? Sarwar? If so, no minimum wage policy please.

      Make an offer Rev!

    294. velofello says:

      £1 for an evening with…choose from our three celebs. £2 to opt out of an evening with…

    295. Jim says:

      I’m in. It would be great to try to un-taint the Labour name and clear out the Blairite rubbish.We could end up with a democratic choice between decent politicians!

    296. Vic Cavin says:

      I like the idea of getting pets names as members but I would feel bad for Boab Cavin since he may have just licked the cream from the New Year Trifle my mum made (it was only on the work top and he can get up there if he stands on his back legs) but he was honest about it when challenged with ears back and eyes diverted in true Denver the guilty dog fashion.
      I have a passport from him and he is a immigrant from China, via Easter Europe on his way here. He is also unemployed and protective of food.
      Is it worth it just for the

    297. Cadogan Enright says:

      nice idea – but a bit of a distraction so close to the election – better to give a boost to constituencies where they might be stuck for a few bob rather than making these creeply SLABBERS think they are attracting votes. Maybe after the election for a bit of craic.

    298. Helena Brown says:

      To BtP and Conan and all those who have Dogs who have to be walked whether they or we like it or not. To Shug whose wee or not so wee soul wants to join the Labour Party for nothing else he will get a visit and he can tell them off.
      Panda, that was a nice story about your Staffie, wish Hektor could be trusted near them I get so many looks from owners as I drag the snarling Pug, and he isn’t that wee, away from their normally bemused animals. One tried to mount him a few years ago and HE never forgets. Conan, nothing worse than losing a dog, it took us four years to get Hektor after Henry died, we had the latter for nearly fifteen years and we could not face it. You at least continue the dynasty with his girls.
      To the Family Cavin, you need to put the trifle higher up, and do not get a cat, they can get everywhere and the fridge is no barrier as my Mum in law discovered, the cat was also very adept at feeling across the table with paw to see if she could reach anything worth while and she did enjoy the ham in the fridge.

    299. Baz says:

      Buy a political party for £7,000 ? … Lol … That appeals to the devil sitting on my shoulder. But wouldn’t like to join if the membership card is one of those giant cardboard ‘pound coins’ … Not particularly easy to carry on your back pocket. But, then … the price tag of £7,000 assumes a 100% turnout at meetings/votes for existing members. Given the defeatist attitude of SLab at present, the real ‘takeover’ price could be significantly lower.

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