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Taking back control 155

Posted on January 04, 2019 by

We’ve got no words for this, so we’ll let it stand by itself.

Because 55% voted No. Welcome to Brexit.

Gloom-tinted glasses 414

Posted on January 02, 2019 by

STV News gets the new year off to a cheery start today:

The headline, as alert readers will be accustomed to by now, is a flat-out lie. As far as the article reveals – and there’s nothing on the company’s website offering any more detail, nor in the longer quotes we found elsewhere – chartered accountants French Duncan LLP have in fact made no predictions whatsoever as to the number of Scottish insolvencies in 2019, merely recorded the number that took place in 2018.

STV’s claim that the 2018 figure of 12,000 “could be even higher by the end of 2019” appears, then, to have been entirely invented. But the depressing tone – which the Daily Express turns into a full-blown crisis, roping in Murdo Fraser for some SNP BAD rentaguff along the way – is even more inexplicable than simple fabrication.

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The one we’ve waited for 481

Posted on January 01, 2019 by

The last two years, particularly 2018, have been a pretty miserable time in the annals of Scottish independence. Not because support has fallen – it hasn’t budged an inch, however much Unionists might try to desperately convince themselves otherwise – but because there hasn’t, in essence, been anything we could usefully do.

Faced with a brick wall of “now is not the time” intransigence from a UK government elected by England and determined to frustrate the democratic will of the Scottish Parliament, we could talk all we wanted but had no means to determine our own fate, locked in the boot of a car speeding towards a cliff edge with a lunatic at the wheel.

That age – and it’s felt like an age – is very nearly at an end.

It’s time to get ready.

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The broken telescope 539

Posted on December 29, 2018 by

An alert reader spotted this today:

Because with Scottish Labour, lying is for life, not just Christmas.

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The stupidest year in history 225

Posted on December 23, 2018 by

We can think of no better illustrative metaphor for the brain-withering idiot festival that was 2018 than page 16 of today’s Sunday Mail, which in the space of a single inch of newsprint predicts both SNP gains at any new general election, and then SNP losses to the exact same Labour and Tory parties that the editorial on the left excoriates as incompetent, “deluded” and “moribund”.

We wish we could rationally hope 2019 will be any better.

Coming through the field 247

Posted on December 18, 2018 by

To anyone observing Scottish politics with even half a keen eye, it was obvious from very early on that former athlete Brian Whittle was one of the stupider and nastier elements of the 2016 crop of new Tory MSPs, having been thrashed by more than 12,400 votes in the election but foisted on taxpayers anyway via the list system.

(Trivia fact: Whittle is Holyrood’s most comprehensively rejected MSP. Nobody else in the 2016 election was beaten by such a big margin but still ended up in Parliament. He makes Murdo Fraser – who lost Perthshire North by 10,353 in his seventh defeat on the trot but still got a seat – look like a beacon of popularity by comparison.)

Indeed, an interview in today’s Holyrood Magazine reveals that Whittle is SUCH a dim bulb, he didn’t even realise that if you got elected as an MSP you had to actually go and do the job.

But astoundingly, that’s not even nearly the dumbest thing he says in it.

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The top table 353

Posted on December 15, 2018 by

The Handmaiden’s Tale 206

Posted on December 14, 2018 by

It should now be abundantly clear to any rational person that time has very nearly run out to avoid a no-deal Brexit.

Theresa May has been sent swiftly home from Europe with a skelped arse and told that any further negotiation is out of the question. But she’s insisted that the meaningful vote in the UK parliament on her Brexit deal won’t now happen before Christmas, which in practical terms means before mid-January.

That means that if Labour wait until the deal is thrown out before they call a vote of no confidence – which is their current position, so far as anyone can tell what their position is – then by the time the government falls it’ll already be February.

(Under the Fixed-Term Parliaments Act, after a successful VoNC there are 14 days for someone to try to form an alternative administration before an election is called.)

Add in the six weeks minimum that are required for an election campaign and you’re halfway through March, literally just a few days before the UK will automatically crash out of the EU with no deal.

Even if a couple of months extension of Article 50 were to be granted – and we’re not sure who’d be asking by that stage – that’s plainly nowhere near enough time for a new government to come up with anything the EU would agree to.

(Remember that the withdrawal agreement was supposed to be done and dusted by October in order to give the EU six months to ratify it. Their patience with the UK is plainly at an end, and it’s hard to see them agreeing to drag the whole mess out for another year or more, which would be the realistic timescale.)

“And that’s all very well”, readers might be thinking at this point, “but that’s a picture of Kezia Dugdale, an insignificant backbench Holyrood list MSP. What the bloody hell’s it got to do with her?”

And the answer is that it’s all her fault.

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The man from tomorrow 296

Posted on December 13, 2018 by

We must admit we haven’t been keeping fully up to date with our Thickest Politician In Scotland rankings recently, mainly because they’ve been so deluged with submissions that we can barely scratch the backlog.

This month alone, for example, we’ve seen Murdo Fraser try to blame the SNP, Labour and the Lib Dems for his party’s shambolic Brexit fiasco, millionaire Tory landowner Sir Edward Mountain sneering that the SNP’s Ian Blackford is too rich because he has a Range Rover, James Kelly of Labour humiliating himself (again) over the budget and boneheaded Lib Dem barrel-scraping Christine Jardine mocking someone for having an inferior intellect while she failed to even nearly spell the word “supporters”.

And that’s before we even get to the Tory MSP who stood up at this afternoon’s FMQs and suggested that lowering the drink-drive limit had somehow led to an increase in road traffic accidents, presumably in the belief that it would actually be better and safer if everyone bombing up and down Scotland’s motorways had had a few beers first.

But pretenders are one thing. There’s still an undisputed king.

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Return Of The Magic Abacus 58

Posted on December 13, 2018 by

Q: Why did Scottish Labour refuse to propose a costed alternative budget yesterday?

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Return Of The Terror 646

Posted on December 10, 2018 by

On one level you have to feel a bit sorry for Scottish Unionists. Having believed until very late in the day that they’d win a crushing victory in the 2014 indyref and put the matter to bed for a century, they’ve never been able to relax since.

And this week the fear has them well and truly in its grip.

The hapless Scottish Secretary demonstrated the lack of self-awareness for which he’s famous when he said at the weekend that the thing he warned would threaten the Union (a defeat for the PM’s Brexit deal) was going to happen on Tuesday, at which point – having said he’d resign if the Union was threatened – he’s made it absolutely clear that he ISN’T going to resign.

And he wasn’t alone in the panic room.

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The Great British Bin Fire 385

Posted on December 06, 2018 by

Brexit isn’t really this site’s remit, which is why we’ve been relatively quiet in recent weeks as the UK’s shambolic exit from the EU hogs all the news and Scottish politics has been relegated to a largely-dormant backwater in the press.

Yes supporters don’t speak with one voice on the EU, and while we’re in favour of it we’ve long said that the indy movement can’t really move on until the fog clears and we know for sure what Brexit’s going to look like. Deciding whether to be part of the EU should be a decision for an independent Scotland to make, not a precondition.

But dear lord, this is such a mess it needs to be examined.

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    • Northcode on Yelling at the tide: ““Pax tecum” Et cum spiritu tuo. “An quhen all cessyt he spak” Thanks for the link, Fearghas.Jan 25, 07:16
    • Willie on Yelling at the tide: “The use of troops to intimidate and kill protestors in Minnesota is now very much beginning to resemble the actions…Jan 24, 23:02
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Yelling at the tide: “Meant to add this link to the online text: VIRGIL’S AENEID, TRANSLATED BY GAVIN DOUGLAS (1513) www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/49884/pg49884-images.htmlJan 24, 22:33
    • DaveL on Yelling at the tide: “Aye, there’s Wee Adolf McHateface reliable as ever. Wee Adolf, I’ve got to say it, It’d be a first for…Jan 24, 21:35
    • Alf Baird on Yelling at the tide: ““You tell me whoever it was prevented you from learning Scots” First nursery school, then primary school, followed by secondary…Jan 24, 21:12
    • Northcode on Yelling at the tide: ““hundered ” Aye, a ken aboot that yin anaw. Whit am a like the day? A’m aw flustered because nane…Jan 24, 20:50
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Great post, Northy. See that “theirs” in your last sentence? Is that the Scots leid richt their? Always keen tae…Jan 24, 20:41
    • Northcode on Yelling at the tide: “Aye, Hatey, they are a shower o cunts, right enough. Thank fuck for you, though…Jan 24, 20:39
    • Northcode on Yelling at the tide: ““theirs ” Aye, a ken.Jan 24, 20:36
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “@TURABDIN You just don’t get it. Scots invented the modern world. Only, the “modern” world our ancestors invented was the…Jan 24, 20:34
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Aye, Willie, what’s the world coming to, eh? You can’t even threaten armed cops with your own handgun any more…Jan 24, 20:26
    • Northcode on Yelling at the tide: ““…why are the online introductory pages of DSL all in English?” Whit leid sud thae be dae ye think? “Why…Jan 24, 20:17
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Morning Northy! Sorry it’s been near 12 hours and nae cant has stirred himself to respond to your post, other…Jan 24, 20:16
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Yelling at the tide: “Pax tecum. “Quhen he spak all cessyt” (Virgil’s AENEID, translated by Gavin Douglas, 1513)Jan 24, 20:12
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Confused writes on humility and shutting your fucking mouth. Sorry, words fail.Jan 24, 20:08
    • robertkknight on Yelling at the tide: “Ermmm… Last time I checked, Lowland Scots a.k.a Lallans, or synthetic (modern) Scots, isn’t the only dialect of Scots with…Jan 24, 20:06
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “You tell me whoever it was prevented you from learning Scots, Alf, and as one, Wings BTL will seek them…Jan 24, 20:02
    • Willie on Yelling at the tide: “Just watched the latest citizen of Minnesota beaten to the ground by ICE agents and then dispatched with some 10…Jan 24, 19:27
    • TURABDIN on Yelling at the tide: “Just a thought…why are the online introductory pages of DSL all in English? Why does the DSL effectively treat the…Jan 24, 18:59
    • Northcode on Yelling at the tide: ““…if some cite “Pictish DNA” (not so Billy Kay) as prime reason for championing it [Scots?], that logic seems not…Jan 24, 18:54
    • Alf Baird on Yelling at the tide: “Its not that complicated at all. What you are describing are merely various forms of Cultural Imperialism. Language is one…Jan 24, 18:38
    • sam on Yelling at the tide: “It is rather more complicated. https://media.scotslanguage.com/library/document/Scots%20Timeline%20Post-1700.pdf 1720’s Introduction to Scotland of the New Method of teaching English based directly on…Jan 24, 18:20
    • James Cheyne on Yelling at the tide: “Chagos Islands, Thank goodness that Trump is stopping the financial fraud of funneling tax payers money out of Britain, Foreign…Jan 24, 17:35
    • Marie on Yelling at the tide: “The world’s greatest living half-Scotsman (lol) has backtracked on his offensive lies – trouble is the dough ball has already…Jan 24, 17:33
    • Alf Baird on Yelling at the tide: “As ‘a fowk’s’ langage is a determinant o the identity o the ‘fowk’ wha speak hit, it staunds tae reason…Jan 24, 17:14
    • TURABDIN on Yelling at the tide: “if you compose text offline then paste and post, do you get moderated? it does seem so.Jan 24, 16:44
    • James Cheyne on Yelling at the tide: “Following the archaeology of pictish digs, there is a pattern that implies the territorial boundaries and scope of pictland, i…Jan 24, 16:33
    • sam on Yelling at the tide: “https://theconversation.com/how-celtic-languages-spread-across-britain-and-ireland-why-we-need-to-reconsider-the-early-story-271338 “..Recent studies of ancient DNA have revealed waves of migration into Britain from regions that are now in France…Jan 24, 16:13
    • TURABDIN on Yelling at the tide: “Lallans speaking Scots settling in Orkney & Shetland aka Hjatland eventually ousted the local Norse, athough it survived long enough…Jan 24, 15:47
    • DaveL on Yelling at the tide: ““… which was better than WW1 where they were 3” Aye and it took them six months to organise themselves…Jan 24, 15:39
  • A tall tale



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