Having solved cat hunger in Greece, the tireless Holiday Boy has now turned his hand to addressing Scotland’s crippling golfing shortage, so we’ve got a different sort of cartoon again for you this weekend.
The clip below is from a 1981 arcade videogame called Venture, by Exidy, in which you play a cheerful character called Winky on a mission to loot treasure from a series of monster-infested dungeons.
For the purposes of this article the treasure in the room above, which takes the form of a castle tower, represents Scottish politics. The room itself is the Union.
The SNP released their general election manifesto today. We’re not going to link you to it, because we don’t want to be responsible for wasting your time. This is everything it has to say on the party’s (cough) strategy for achieving independence.
It deserves much, much less respect than we’re giving it. Tomorrow, ice lolly reviews.
I’m a professional community organiser, and a tenant and housing activist for some 20 years. I saw the old Scottish Tenants Organisation get smashed by Jack McConnell’s government to make way for council housing privatisation, which in Glasgow created the Glasgow Housing Association.
I’ve long wanted to rebuild a national body to give housing schemes a political voice and to push to end the housing crisis. That’s why I got involved with Living Rent, organising my community to become their first branch. Little did I know that would lead to a brush with crazed gender ideology, and see Queer Theory used to try to destroy it.
We’re still trying not to pay attention to the election because it’s so tedious and awful and pointless, but this is worth putting on the record because it’s in The National and otherwise nobody’s going to read it.
Holiday Boy has of course chosen the general election campaign to spend the next three weeks feeding stray cats somewhere sunny, so here’s a cartoon by the brilliant webcomicname that summarises the Baillie Gifford story for anyone joining us late.
January 2018, with no general election due for four and a half years: “I very rarely talk about Scottish independence in the chamber, because I talk about things that matter”
June 2024, with an election in four weeks and a £91,346 salary, expenses and pension at stake: “ROBERT THE BRUCE! BANNOCKBURN! DECLARATION OF ARBROATH! FLOWER OF SCOTLAND! FREEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMM!”
Because, for startlingly obvious reasons, even the SNP hasn’t had the brass neck to do a general fundraiser for this election, with the police’s inquiries still going on into the whereabouts of the cash from their last big appeals.
But in fact the party has managed to wring over £100,000 from the most gullible of its remaining supporters in the days since the election was announced. It’s just been a bit more subtle about it.
Jim Anderson on The more you change nothing: “17 named on the HQ Directory and 27 total staff, per 2023 accounts. More chiefs than Indians all feeding at…” Apr 10, 20:28
Marie on The more you change nothing: “So glad that I never gave these scammers a single penny of my hard earned cash. They had my vote…” Apr 10, 18:52
Hatey McHateface on The more you change nothing: “Ah had a close lookie at thon Headquarters Staff Directory. Fa’s the pronouns kept? Ah cannae see them in there.…” Apr 10, 18:51
Mark Beggan on The more you change nothing: “The Woke is on the run. Fantasies abandoned, cover ups by the dozen, can’t explain won’t explain. legal gagging, block,…” Apr 10, 17:08
Sven on The more you change nothing: “John McGregor. If the case goes to trial, John. A plea in bar of trial would result in very little…” Apr 10, 16:23
John McGregor on The more you change nothing: “The alleged Embezzler should throw the “got off scot free” Fraudster under a bus at the court case” Apr 10, 15:41
Young Lochinvar on The more you change nothing: “Look on the bright side; at least Guigliano is missing from the list. Clouds and silver linings an’ that..” Apr 10, 15:33
Lorn on The more you change nothing: “Anyone who is still a member and/or votes for them needs a brain transplant. No independence. Just faux penises and…” Apr 10, 14:49
JockMcT on The more you change nothing: “And we are supposed to vote for this pile, I don’t think so…” Apr 10, 14:39
Young Lochinvar on The more you change nothing: “Shower of coprolites.. At least one positive though; Guigliano is missing from the list!” Apr 10, 14:14
Is perjury not a crime on The more you change nothing: “You are sockaphobic and the Hate Monster will seek you out” Apr 10, 13:52
Vivian O’Blivion on The more you change nothing: “The wans who ken where the bodies are buried. The question isn’t why certain individuals were retained, but why they…” Apr 10, 13:46
Mark Beggan on The more you change nothing: “Coprophagia in a barrel. Waiting for the ‘anointed one’.” Apr 10, 13:26
duncanio on The more you change nothing: “Now that Branchform has completed, with only the male lavender charged, they presumably feel it is safe to continue with…” Apr 10, 13:20
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The more you change nothing: “I wouldn’t trust them to change their socks.” Apr 10, 13:07
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The more you change nothing: “True story: Leo Miklasz’s band is called WHITE.” Apr 10, 13:06
Maxxmacc on The more you change nothing: “As with the recent election of Mhairi Hunter, it all points to the same conclusion, that NS is still firmly…” Apr 10, 13:00
Alison on The more you change nothing: “A toxic blend of the downright nasty & the serially incompetent. What can go wrong?” Apr 10, 12:55
Rogueslr on The more you change nothing: “They all seem very, what was the word Humza used? White?” Apr 10, 12:48
McDuff on Empty hands and empty heads: “Yeah its as you say rev, words, words, meaningless words, all empty, no passion, no direction, no initiatives, nothing. I…” Apr 10, 12:32
Dunx on Empty hands and empty heads: “The 2024 figure for The National was about 2.5K per day. Down 14 per cent on 2023.” Apr 10, 12:18
Aidan on Empty hands and empty heads: “ABC reports the average circulation of an edition of The National was c.3,500 in 2022. Of which less than 700…” Apr 10, 12:09
diabloandco on Empty hands and empty heads: “It would be interesting to know the financial state of both the Herald and the National – even more interesting…” Apr 10, 11:38
Lorn on Empty hands and empty heads: “How many young people read newspapers? The only people who appear to read it now are either ‘trans’ apologists or…” Apr 10, 10:48
Lorn on Empty hands and empty heads: “They will need to have at least one candidate from one of the other independence parties in each constituency, otherwise…” Apr 10, 10:38
