In amongst a torrent of pretty mad analysis of the election result at the weekend, we noticed the most insane reason yet suggested for the loss of the SNP’s majority:
The co-founder of a much-lauded but little-read pro-independence website asserted that the SNP were cruising to victory until the Nats got the backing of the Scottish Sun and Nicola Sturgeon was pictured posing with the front cover endorsing her party.
The whole litany of gaping flaws in that argument is something the Yes movement has needed to talk about for some considerable time now. So let’s bite the bullet and do it.
We were having a quiet night in, readers. (Living in a cul-de-sac, it’s quite peaceful here in the evenings, unless we’re hosting a soirée.) We’d just made ourselves a late snack of a tasty baguette – preceded by a small apéritif, and a few canapés serving as hors d’oeuvre – as the au pair is on holiday in Paris this week with the chauffeur, taking in some haute couture.
As we relaxed on the chaise-longue, pondering an indulgent dessert of a chocolate eclair or some crème brûlée, we glanced at Twitter, in the hope of being amused by a few bon mots in the milieu of the internet. Sadly, the reality was a cliché.
Dismayingly, this magnificent piece of virtuoso television interviewing from last night’s Scotland Tonight doesn’t appear to have been recorded in full splendid isolation for posterity anywhere, so it would be a grave failure of duty on our part not to preserve it for those viewers unfortunate enough to have been otherwise engaged.
We had a little Twitter run-in last night with former Scottish Labour deputy leader and current unemployed halfwit Anas Sarwar, when he reported us to Police Scotland for making a joke about bank holiday mail deliveries, “people in England” and “especially” Scottish ones – which of course includes this site’s own editor, that being the gag.
We’d almost forgotten he existed. But the incident brought something back to mind.
To be fair to Mr Sarwar, he was at least partly right.
Here’s a column from Kenny Farquharson in today’s tablet edition of the Times, which hasn’t made it onto the website. We don’t know if it’s in the print version.
To mark the day when Scotland would have become independent had it voted Yes in 2014, the Scottish Conservatives have hired someone who sells dog food (not very successfully) for a living to produce a 37-page dossier about how absolutely dreadful Scotland is and how it would be the most bankrupt country in Europe – poorer than Greece, poorer than Latvia and poorer than Cyprus.
It wasn’t supposed to be released publicly until tomorrow, so that all the papers could splurge their loads on it, but someone found a copy that had been left on a bus and sent it to us. It’s incredibly dull, but if you really want to read it, it’s here.
Even by the low, low normal arithmetical standards of the Scottish media, yesterday’s Scottish Sunday Express humiliated itself with the most stupendously factually wrong articles we’ve seen in a newspaper for some time.
We can hardly contain our joy, gentle readers, that Scottish Labour have brought this magnificent graphic from January back again, tweeting it several times yesterday with all the mindbogglingly fat-headed flaws from two months ago still present.
But we couldn’t help being struck by this new comment about it, by the branch office’s notoriously truth-averse finance spokesclown:
Let’s walk through that one really quickly. People can’t afford to save for a deposit, because rents are so high. So rather than do anything about rents, Labour will double the zero they HAVE managed to save, boosting it all the way up to, er, zero.
Cynicus on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: ““I might also take the opportunity to draw attention to a recent quality illustrated book investigating the Gaelic and Welsh…” Jan 12, 02:42
Cynicus on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: ““there’s an oven ready and legitimate Stuart pretender Franz, Duke of Bavaria” ========== Be careful! The Crown Prince, Francis of…” Jan 12, 02:18
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: “Northcode writes « Tho if a culture had the nature of a coloniser aboot it… then a wid hae nae…” Jan 12, 01:20
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: “Alf writes: « The point, which you appear to have missed, is that our friend wha comes here tae bide…” Jan 12, 00:59
Alf Baird on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: ““plummeting” The point, which you appear to have missed, is that our friend wha comes here tae bide notes he…” Jan 11, 23:49
Northcode on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: ““You’re plummeting, Alf.” Only in your eyes, Gael. And only because Professor Baird challenges your false narrative on the importance…” Jan 11, 22:43
Northcode on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: “Dinna be daft, Alf. Us Scots fowk be ane o the wrechit o the Earth… ye micht as weel expect…” Jan 11, 21:53
sarah on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: “www.scotcourts.gov.uk/livestream/ – to watch tomorrow Monday 12th Jan from 09.30 the Court of Session case of Craig Murray applying for…” Jan 11, 21:50
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: ““So where is Scotland’s Atom Bomb moment?” At this rate, any century now. The British Brainwashing Corporation and MSM generally…” Jan 11, 21:23
Alf Baird on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: ““I speak and read three forms of Arabic plus Syriac, French, English, some German, Spanish, Hebrew, Farsi and Turkish and…” Jan 11, 18:30
Nae Need! on Off-topic: “I’m going to add The Alienist to my watch list. Thank you for the recommendation 😉 IMNSHU Pluribus is excellent.…” Jan 11, 17:17
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “Hi, Nae Need! It barely does exist compared to the old days 🙂 . I only returned around Christmas to…” Jan 11, 17:00
Nae Need! on Off-topic: “Hello Off TOPICers, I didn’t know this place existed until today. Have any of you watched Pluribus? None of the…” Jan 11, 15:16
Northcode on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: “A hiv makkit this short Sunday sermon… First: Ither fowks cultures are mild cuiriosities tae me tho a widnae dream…” Jan 11, 15:01
sam on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: “See this? The genetic landscape of Scotland and the Isles https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1904761116” Jan 11, 14:33
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “Thought I’d cheer us all up with this uplifting song (before Trump does something really stupid): www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIoBrob3bjI” Jan 11, 14:22
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: “TURABDIN. And my sincere apologies to you for the rather exasperated tone of my initial comment. (Though you will perhaps…” Jan 11, 14:20
Nae Need! on Failure To Learn: “That was one of my first thoughts too. My second thought being about the word ‘failure’. Failure presumes an attempt…” Jan 11, 13:45
Nae Need! on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: “Having had the time this morning to follow this discussion, I too am in agreement with Aidan and Hatey. Wonders…” Jan 11, 13:39
TURABDIN on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: “@ FEARGHAS MAC FHIONNLAIGH, @ ALF BAIRD, @ ANDY ELLIS. COMING FROM AN ANCIENT CULTURE whose language, various iterations of…” Jan 11, 12:40
Andy Ellis on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: “@Alf As it happens, this is the only applied theoretical framework explaining Scotland’s colonial condition and urgent need for decolonization:……” Jan 11, 11:59
James Cheyne on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: “I agree that a lot of history is bunk, most is just tail spun yarns. The treaty of York 1237…” Jan 11, 11:08
James Cheyne on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: “Indeed Henry 111 father Earl of Cambridge, according to DNA does not appear to be his father at all, Ceciley…” Jan 11, 10:47
Hatey McHateface on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: “@Andy Ellis There was more in my original post but it went to moderation. I was writing about the pictures…” Jan 11, 10:34
Alf Baird on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: ““develop his own coherent theories rooted in our own, unique, Scottish circumstances” As it happens, this is the only applied…” Jan 11, 10:31
Bilbo on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: ““Young women” may well speak for themselves but what they speak about is another thing. The actions of that nutter…” Jan 11, 10:23
Andy Ellis on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: “I suspect it won’t be over until we see some strange fruit in turbans swinging from the lamp posts of…” Jan 11, 10:08
Hatey McHateface on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: ““Whatever would Fantoosh, Mammy and Ceasar make” Who cares. It’s all part of his depressingly cringy acceptance of mediocrity that…” Jan 11, 09:58
Hatey McHateface on Grandpa John’s Nightmare: “It’s over. We won. With the exception of one dead body, President Trump got all the hostages home.” Jan 11, 09:48