Don Paterson is a celebrated Scottish poet, writer and musician. The essay below comes from a new anthology of Scottish writers called Irish Pages: Scotland, and is reproduced with his permission.
Remember The Vow? Most of us have tried to forget it. This was Westminster’s Hail Mary as polling day approached in the 2014 referendum; a vote that Yessers – people tend to forget this part too – initially had no real expectation of winning, until an inspirationally positive campaign saw the polls draw neck-and-neck.
Then lo! There it was, splashed across the Daily Record: a fancy-font promise from Westminster party leaders that if Scotland voted to stay within the UK, we would enjoy new devolved powers. There was some other waffle about defence and opportunities and having an equal share in the UK’s prosperity. But the message was clear enough. We would be listened to.
In the modern political world, you don’t get anywhere without a movement, and movements don’t get anywhere without a flag. So we’ve decided it’s time to take action and stand up for a very large group of people who are genuinely discriminated against and significantly disadvantaged in our society.
Here’s their symbol.
Today is July 1st, and we officially, on behalf of all our oppressed kinfolk, declare this to be People Who Aren’t Eligible For A Railcard Pride Month.
Holiday Boy has of course chosen the general election campaign to spend the next three weeks feeding stray cats somewhere sunny, so here’s a cartoon by the brilliant webcomicname that summarises the Baillie Gifford story for anyone joining us late.
As a writer, feminist and literary events organiser in Scotland, I’m regularly sent links to information someone thinks might be of interest to me. This week it was a document commissioned by one of Scotland’s leading and most powerful publicly-funded literary organisations, Literature Alliance Scotland (LAS).
Nobody, of course, objects to transgender writers being included or supported, but the content of the guidance raises several extremely serious and concerning issues.
He’s the cuddly, lovable character all of Scotland’s talking about, but what do we really know about the Hate Monster? Where did he come from? What’s his backstory? Well, the diligent research team at Wings have been hard at work, and we’re thrilled to bring you this rare archive footage of not one but BOTH of his parents.
Both were in the arts. Here’s his mum, Ruda (originally from Eastern Europe, escaping to the West before the Iron Curtain came down) starring in a 1952 Bugs Bunny short:
And this is his dad, in one of several collaborations with the Scooby Doo team in 1976 under his former wrestling persona of The 10,000-Volt Ghost:
Our boy was born for the stage. No wonder he’s made such an impact.
I’ve always been obsessed, in cultural terms, with pivot points: the precise moments at which something significant changes irreversibly.
They can be a goal that ushers in a football team’s golden era – for me, Alex McLeish putting Aberdeen level in the 1982 Scottish Cup final. They can be a twist in a movie, like (first example that comes to mind) the shocking revelation of the bad guy in LA Confidential. They can spring out of nowhere, like the latter, or be something that was visibly on the way but finally crystallises, like the former.
Scotland’s biggest cultural problem famously used to be with its alpha males: hard-working, hard-drinking men, often sexist and openly sectarian, with an easy propensity for violence. (The archetype cut right across every social class, from shipyard workers to high-ranking police officers and everywhere between and beyond.)
But times change, and thankfully those characters are now almost entirely a thing of the past. Less happily, though, they’ve simply been replaced by a breed that’s every bit as unpleasant, just in slightly different ways. Readers, meet the Beta Bullies.
Slacky The Holiday Boy is off for the next THREE weeks, gallivanting around the globe on the clearly excessive wages we’re paying him. We hope he does actually come back, because his home city is becoming a poisonously hostile place for the creative.
Around 300 years ago, Edinburgh was the birthplace and residence of the Scottish Enlightenment, a remarkable period of intellectual and scientific accomplishment built around “the importance of human reason combined with a rejection of any authority that could not be justified by reason”, and which led to the city being famously dubbed “the Athens of the North”.
Just for a change, let’s have a Friday-night competition!
Sharp-eyed readers will have noticed that former First Minister Alex Salmond is staging a show in the Spiegeltent at the Edinburgh Fringe next month, from 4-13 August.
You may even have seen a bit of online criticism from certain po-faced pseudonats about the fact that Salmond is sharing a platform with – gasp! – a Yoon, in the shape of the “last of the traditional Tories”, David Davis MP.
Alf Baird on Too Tight To Mention: ““People all over the world want to speak it to get ahead and be successful in life !” Aye, it…” Jul 7, 15:52
AndrewR on Too Tight To Mention: “I’d say that Young Lochinvar’s counter-argument is better, the Treaty of Ardtonish, as being nearer in history – but it…” Jul 7, 15:50
Northcode on Too Tight To Mention: ““Given the earlier role of Dalriada Scots in the takeover of the Pictish Kingdom…this perspective perhaps needs revised” It definitely…” Jul 7, 15:50
Insider on Too Tight To Mention: “Meanwhile Alf, in the real world, there are approximately 1.5 BILLION people currently learning english (often at great personal expense).…” Jul 7, 15:26
Mark Beggan on Too Tight To Mention: “Psychology terms; Rumination, Repetition compulsion, historical nostalgia. Stuck on the past.” Jul 7, 15:16
Northcode on Too Tight To Mention: ““As Thiong’o wrote of colonial education in Kenyan schools: ‘the language of my education is not the language of my…” Jul 7, 15:13
Stuart on Too Tight To Mention: “Given how you are attempting to bore everyone to death with post colonial theory Professor Baird, isn’t it time you…” Jul 7, 15:11
Alf Baird on Too Tight To Mention: ““The Southern Scots were a part of the oppression of the Northern Scots, the destruction of the northern culture, language,…” Jul 7, 15:08
sarah on Too Tight To Mention: “It is getting the word out that is so daunting. All independence voters need to know about Liberate Scotland and…” Jul 7, 15:03
Mark Beggan on Too Tight To Mention: “And they were very successfull don’t you think. So now that you’ve identified your problem. What is it that you…” Jul 7, 15:03
TURABDIN on Too Tight To Mention: “«LORD GIVE ME CHASTITY and continence, but not yet» This infamous prayer of the young Augustine of Hippo (354-430) reflects…” Jul 7, 15:01
AndrewR on Too Tight To Mention: “You are conflating what colonial powers do – divide and rule – which happened and happens in real life, with…” Jul 7, 14:50
Alf Baird on Too Tight To Mention: ““Everybody is brain washed” How did you think the colonial hoax worked so well and so easily taking millions of…” Jul 7, 14:36
Alf Baird on Too Tight To Mention: ““There can be no doubt that the linguistic oppression of the Scots leid, or tongue, is one of the greatest…” Jul 7, 14:27
Mark Beggan on Too Tight To Mention: “Post Colonial Theory. Is this what the independence movement is reduced to. Is this all you can come up with.…” Jul 7, 14:08
Northcode on Too Tight To Mention: “I’m reading ‘Decolonising the Mind – the politics of language in African literature’ (1986) by Ngugi wa Thiong’o (Jan 1938…” Jul 7, 13:20
AndrewR on Too Tight To Mention: “Young Lochinvar – you are completely right to say I was being simplistic and parochial. Your extension back in history…” Jul 7, 12:56
sam on Too Tight To Mention: “From Tom Devine. ““One of my main arguments is that the scale of land loss was greater in lowland Scotland…” Jul 7, 10:09
sam on Too Tight To Mention: “Don’t overlook the influence of almost all of the media which attributes the poor health and poverty of Scots to…” Jul 7, 09:42
Alf Baird on Too Tight To Mention: “You are doing the colonizer’s work, Andrew with your divide and rule rant.” Jul 7, 09:38
100%Yes on Too Tight To Mention: “Was the loan to the SNP in order to prevent him having to pay out on legal cost, for me…” Jul 7, 09:02
Young Lochinvar on Too Tight To Mention: “Sorry Andrew Meant to address your last point. As a resident of unfashionable former industrial Lanarkshire with family links over…” Jul 7, 04:12
Young Lochinvar on Too Tight To Mention: “Andrew R @ 12.53 Bit partial in your reading of history there Andrew, somewhat post ‘45 influenced.. Prior to that…” Jul 7, 03:57
Young Lochinvar on Too Tight To Mention: “Interesting post. Incidentally the “Lowland” clearances took place over 100 years earlier, those on the border even earlier. Just didn’t…” Jul 7, 03:35
AndrewR on Too Tight To Mention: “The Southern Scots were a part of the oppression of the Northern Scots, the destruction of the northern culture, language,…” Jul 7, 00:53
Alf Baird on Too Tight To Mention: ““We can’t prevent poverty being imposed upon us.” Yes sam, the ‘objective of colonialism is to widen inequality’; which is…” Jul 6, 22:21
Alf Baird on Too Tight To Mention: “Yes Sarah, the Liberate Scotland strategy offering a single unity candidate per constituency and a single policy (i.e. an independence…” Jul 6, 22:07
Andy Ellis on Too Tight To Mention: “We can’t prevent poverty being imposed upon us. Actually, we could if “we” as a people chose to do so…” Jul 6, 22:01
sam on Too Tight To Mention: ““Sufficient self-government refers to a level of autonomy where a territory can effectively manage its own affairs without external control,…” Jul 6, 21:35