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Theresa May’s Crack Team 242

Posted on November 14, 2018 by

…is what they’re calling Jack and James now, we hear.

Draw your own conclusions about the word “crack” there.

Serving the nations 188

Posted on November 14, 2018 by

Ever aware of its need to deliver informed enlightenment to the populace, the state broadcaster has recently put up a “BBC Brexit Jargon Buster” page on its website. We’re not sure it was meant to be quite this candid.

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When they think we’re not listening 405

Posted on November 11, 2018 by

This piece ran in the Telegraph – a newspaper with no Scottish edition and almost no Scottish sales – on Friday. Click to enlarge.

Our favourite line is:

“Think of what the UK would be like without the vast wealth generated by the 44bn barrels of oil pumped from British territory over the last 40 years.”

(Curiously, this is a rather different line to the one Critchlow took during the indyref, when he was the Telegraph’s full-time business news editor penning a string of articles about how bankrupt an independent Scotland would be despite possessing an asset that’s now apparently big enough to prop up an economy 12 times Scotland’s size.)

It’s worth keeping in mind whenever Unionists tell us (a) how volatile and worthless and used-up oil is, (b) how much Scotland depends on the kind benevolence of the UK to survive, and (c) why we can’t have another referendum until years after Brexit.

The worst-laid plans 226

Posted on November 10, 2018 by

Your occasional reminder about who’s been governing us since we refused to take the responsibility for it ourselves.

To be quite honest, readers, if we’re going to leave our future in the hands of a Fox, we’d probably be better off with Basil Brush.

Bottom of the remedial class 58

Posted on November 10, 2018 by

A quick morality check 136

Posted on November 06, 2018 by

There was a certain uncomfortable 2018 inevitability this morning over the fact that where people were offended, arrests would follow.

And the burning of a cardboard model of the Grenfell Tower last night was certainly right up near the top in the pantheon of cretinously offensive things. Many victims of the appalling tragedy, which killed 72 people and injured many more, still haven’t been properly rehomed almost a year and a half later.

But if it’s a CRIME, we have some questions.

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What we could be 52

Posted on November 06, 2018 by

…if only we could find the courage among ourselves.

The sleepy watchmen 347

Posted on November 04, 2018 by

We’ve been through all the papers and there’s still absolutely no Scottish politics news, so we’re going to take a moment out for one of our brief but always-popular tangential forays into the world of football. All the usual disclaimers apply.

Because the parlous state of current Scottish journalism can’t just be observed on the politics pages, with all their partisan spin, quarter-truths and hackery. Sometimes you get a better idea of it by stepping back and looking at the broader picture, and rarely is that picture more clear than when it’s a picture of “Rangers”.

The Daily Record devoted only a tiny corner of its back page on Thursday to the club’s latest financial reports, and the bulk of the text was devoted to Dave King enthusing about what great news it all was.

Pretty much every other piece of coverage to be found in the Scottish press was the same, shrugging the figures off as of no notable significance and all someone else’s fault anyway (in this case former manager Pedro Caixinha, even though one must suppose he didn’t spend any more money than the board told him he could), and we waited in vain for any in-depth analysis in the Sundays.

And we couldn’t help thinking we’d been here before.

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The treasonous plot 221

Posted on November 03, 2018 by

It’s the same old songs 127

Posted on November 02, 2018 by

…but with a different meaning since you’ve been gone.”

Labour have now been promising to abolish the Lords for around 110 years, including 37 years as the UK government. But wait! They’ve got more promises for you!

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Now featuring Scotland 142

Posted on October 31, 2018 by

Or so they say, at any rate. Near the end, we think.

Another disaster for Scotland 535

Posted on October 29, 2018 by

As if it wasn’t enough that one small country had to cope with the terrible burden of hundreds of billions of pounds of volatile oil revenues, now we have to face the grim prospect that with fossil fuels being phased out across the world to protect the climate, Scotland also produces TOO MUCH cheap, clean, infinitely renewable energy.

No wonder the Unionists think we’re too wee and too poor to go it alone.

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    • twathater on A matter of class: “Dan has the Franchise Fanny nailed with all his grandiose sounding pish, a proud Scot BUT who has returned to…Dec 22, 02:50
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    • James on A matter of class: “Uh-oh. Franchise Fanny just stained it’s underwear after mentioning it’s Heroine. It was popular in Scotchland right enough. Not.Dec 21, 23:13
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    • McDuff on A matter of class: “This country stinks from the SNP to the judiciary and just about every where else .I never imagined Scotland would…Dec 21, 21:48
    • Hatey McHateface on A matter of class: “Turkey, sprouts and gravy, Dan? No True Scot would ever pollute the ethnic purity of his body with the hated,…Dec 21, 21:37
    • Dan on A matter of class: “@Southern(not so)bystander Not saying it’s the case with the specific matter you are responding to; But I think that posted…Dec 21, 21:35
    • Hatey McHateface on A matter of class: “Try posting “Bairns Not Bombs”. Works every time.Dec 21, 21:20
    • Hatey McHateface on A matter of class: “This is just so desperately sad. Once again, I’m the only one to respond to Northy’s attention seeking – his…Dec 21, 21:16
    • Hatey McHateface on A matter of class: “@Alf Have you considered translating the complete works of Fanon, Cesaire, Crivens and Jonesie into Scots? That would really supercharge…Dec 21, 21:08
    • Northcode on A matter of class: ““No country, people or polity has a God given right to exist in perpetuity.” Unless it’s England, apparently: “There’ll always…Dec 21, 21:01
    • Hatey McHateface on A matter of class: “@Alf 2:05 I want my Scotland to be run by the meritocratic best. I don’t want my Scotland to be…Dec 21, 20:59
    • Dan on A matter of class: “Something to read and mull over. https://angrypict.substack.com/p/scotland-ai-convergence-and-the-caseDec 21, 20:36
    • Southernbystander on A matter of class: “Hatey: ‘You didn’t used to pussyfoot around this’ Did he not? I once asked Alf after he labelled the English…Dec 21, 20:32
    • Alf Baird on A matter of class: “Like any peoples language the Scots language plays ‘a vital role in shaping and defining ethnic identity’, serving as ‘a…Dec 21, 20:24
    • Al-Stuart on A matter of class: “. Hi Stuart, I see the Scot-Goes-Splat fundraiser Jimmy McGrifty has now gone full stalker mode with his obsession about…Dec 21, 19:55
    • Dan on A matter of class: “Franchise Fanny returns! But tae fuck with offering a shred of crimbo goodwill to fellow supporters of Scotland returning to…Dec 21, 19:53
    • Cynicus on A matter of class: “Andy Ellis says: 21 December, 2025 at 4:09 pm “One wonders if the Post Colonial Snake Oil Salesman in Chief…Dec 21, 18:44
    • Northcode on A matter of class: ““Lovely people the Finns…” I’ll write to the Finnish embassy in London and let them know you think they’re patronizingly…Dec 21, 18:25
    • Northcode on A matter of class: ““How about the >5% of Finns who are of Swedish language and ethnicity, having lived in Finland for centuries?” You…Dec 21, 18:09
    • Alf Baird on A matter of class: “Is that you on the colonial backshift, Andy? Hatey on his weel-deserved brak. Surprised ye didna ken that language aye…Dec 21, 18:00
    • Mark Beggan on A matter of class: “Well God Bless you sir. Merry Christmas.My Grandfather would be proud of that.Dec 21, 17:46
    • Andy Ellis on A matter of class: “@Northcode 4pm Ethnic Finns, or Suomalaiset, are a Baltic Finnic ethnic group native to Finland, with a rich cultural heritage…Dec 21, 17:15
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