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Mixed messaging 34

Posted on June 17, 2023 by

Humza Yousaf’s Last Week 132

Posted on June 16, 2023 by

So this is pretty embarrassing.

The Scottish National Party’s primary and defining purpose is Scottish independence. Next weekend’s “special conference” will at least notionally determine its policy on that subject for years to come. On the face of it it’s the most important congregation of party members in the SNP’s history.

The Caird Hall can accommodate just 3% of the claimed membership. (And you’d expect at least half the seats to have been reserved in advance for the faithful payroll.) Members ought to be fighting like dogs for a ticket. And yet a week before the event the leader is having to send out pleading letters to try to scare up enough attendees that it won’t be a half-empty humiliation.

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Kirsty Blackman’s Genitals 424

Posted on June 13, 2023 by

Some of you still won’t have seen them, er, we mean “this”:

While it may have been the funniest – and Joanna Cherry silently spoke for every sane person in the nation as it went on – remarkably it wasn’t even the stupidest or most offensive part of her speech to yesterday’s Parliamentary debate in Westminster Hall about the definition of “sex” in the Equality Act.

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The Queen Of All The Cretins 180

Posted on June 12, 2023 by

Nicola Sturgeon has not been charged with any crime. Yesterday she was arrested, questioned and released without charge pending further investigation. We do not even know which specific suspected crime or crimes she was questioned in connection with, so it is manifestly impossible to meaningfully speculate on her innocence or guilt (save of course for the fact that all are innocent in the eyes of the law until proven otherwise, something Sturgeon herself often appears to forget).

Nevertheless, in Scotland the Contempt Of Court Act 1981 applies from the moment a person is arrested, as the country’s most senior lawyer and its official prosecution service were both keen to remind people yesterday in the clearest possible terms, and it applies equally whether you’re asserting someone’s guilt or their innocence.

So you need to be a really extra-special class of boneheaded numbwit to do this:

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Developing a complex 122

Posted on June 10, 2023 by

Wings two days ago: “The SNP wants to do a devo-max deal with Labour”.

The SNP today: “We’re prepared to do a devo-max deal with Labour”.

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The heavy lifting 83

Posted on June 10, 2023 by

Far beyond the pale horizon 81

Posted on June 07, 2023 by

In fairness, on one level it’s really funny.

Assuming you’ve already resigned yourself to independence never happening, that is.

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Carrying the cans 126

Posted on June 06, 2023 by

Even for Lorna Slater this is jaw-droppingly dumb:

It takes Olympic-class stupidity to publicly put a figure to how much your staggering incompetence has cost Scottish businesses in the middle of an economic crisis.

Either the Scottish Government knew the DRS wasn’t compliant and was hoping the UK government would shut it down, so that it could attempt to clumsily extract some political capital from “interference” (in which case it’s directly responsible for those losses of hundreds of millions of pounds), OR it was so mindbogglingly inept that it genuinely intended the scheme to go into operation but failed to legislate it properly (in which case it’s directly responsible for those losses of hundreds of millions of pounds).

In either case, any minister with responsibility for the gargantuan shambles should – quite obviously – be out on their ears before FMQs on Thursday in desperate hope of avoiding the government being sued by the affected firms. But the SNP/Green coalition has as little shame as it has ability or dignity, so expect the clown show to continue.

Spin the bottle 293

Posted on June 03, 2023 by

High on the groundhog 194

Posted on June 01, 2023 by

This is a wretchedly boring time to be writing about politics for a living, readers. Parliamentarians in Edinburgh and London haven’t technically checked out for the summer yet – Holyrood still has a month to go before taking two months off, while Westminster is currently having a couple of weeks off for “Whitsun”, whatever the hell that is, before coming back for a month and a half then sodding off until September.

But really they’re already at the “bringing board games in” stage of term, and both the elected chambers and the media already have their eyes on the beach, which probably explains why we’re being punted drivel like this.

Even if we must afford the graphics team some grudging kudos for the unicoo.

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The Appearance Of Propriety 454

Posted on May 29, 2023 by

Wait, has Nicola Sturgeon died? We didn’t see anything on the news.

Because there are only a limited number of possible reasonable explanations for why police wanting to find out what Nicola Sturgeon knew about something would ask people who aren’t Nicola Sturgeon.

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The conscious uncoupling 116

Posted on May 27, 2023 by

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    • Dan on The Empty Hearse: “@ George Hope you had a braw holiday break and your health is good. That Qualcast sounds like the original…Aug 2, 08:38
    • Iain More on The Empty Hearse: “With Laura Mitchell standing as the Woke SNP Candidate in Moray I wont be voting on the Constituency vote for…Aug 2, 03:05
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Empty Hearse: “Transition formatting garble: Title should be just TROD with no question marks.Aug 2, 01:41
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    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Empty Hearse: “LOMAIRE-FEÒIR Chuala mi lomaire-feòir gu h-àrd anns an adhar a‘ gearradh tron ghuirme. Chunnaic mi air oidhche fhuair fras reòite…Aug 1, 23:19
    • sarah on The Empty Hearse: “@ Big Jock: the lack of a political force is why we need to spread the word about the political…Aug 1, 23:07
    • Big Jock on The Empty Hearse: “Dan ask yourself this. Are we closer to independence than September 2014? If you are honest the answer is an…Aug 1, 22:45
    • George Ferguson on The Empty Hearse: “I was gifted a 1950s Qualcast mower. No engine. Made the lawn look like Wembley. It was heavy roller at…Aug 1, 22:34
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    • Northcode on The Empty Hearse: ““I disagree with NOT voting at all in the Scottish elections” I appreciate that each of us must form our…Aug 1, 21:50
    • Dan on The Empty Hearse: “Sigh. “All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men (and women) to do nothing”… There’s plenty going…Aug 1, 21:18
    • Lorn on The Empty Hearse: “I agree, Hatey. However, the independence parties might be hard hit as many people will mistake Corbyn for a socialist…Aug 1, 21:13
    • Lorn on The Empty Hearse: “Yes, no votes SNP is the only possible answer. Angus Robertson’s book, ‘Vienna’ is quite brilliant, but, when it comes…Aug 1, 21:04
    • George Ferguson on The Empty Hearse: “@Agent X Simply because their higher echelons don’t care for their welfare. My brother is an ex Police Fed guy…Aug 1, 20:44
    • Willie on The Empty Hearse: “Just to move to the Sandie Peggie case reports are suggesting that NHS Fife’s legal bill is now nearing £700k…Aug 1, 20:36
    • Big Jock on The Empty Hearse: “Like many in the movement. I feel numb with the morass we find ourselves in. I used to post on…Aug 1, 20:36
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    • Colin Alexander on The Empty Hearse: “Even simpler for me: No votes for any candidates / parties that will swear fealty to the English Crown /…Aug 1, 17:48
    • 100%Yes on The Empty Hearse: “It would appear the SNP branches are taking action on Independence. Have a read, not before time. https://grousebeater.wordpress.com/2025/08/01/snp-branches-rebel/Aug 1, 17:45
    • The Flying Iron of Doom on The Empty Hearse: “Meet the new carrot, same as the old carrot… 🙄Aug 1, 17:45
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