The entire Scottish media and professional-politician community is currently in a self-righteous froth about a campaign ad being run by Reform for the Hamilton by-election targeting Scottish Labour leader Anas Sarwar.
Obviously none of the acres of press coverage trusts voters to see the ad and decide for themselves, because that simply isn’t how journalism works nowadays. You’re told that a bad thing happened – whether it be a campaign ad, a comedian’s joke or the supposed terrible abuse sent to a celebrity – and how outraged various pundits or other celebrities are about it, with the clear implication that you should feel the same, but you almost never get shown or told what was actually said.
So to start with, as a basic journalistic principle, here’s the ad itself in its entirety.
Now let’s look at what you’re being ordered to think about it.
The Scottish Tory MSP reacted furiously to a story in The National which said Scotland had been absorbed into England by the 1707 Act Of Union, rather than becoming a “partner” in anything, and had ceased to exist as a state in international law.
Which was a weird response, because that’s been the official stated position of both the UK government and the Conservative Party for at least the last 12 years.
Despite everything, we almost allowed ourselves just the very tiniest little micro-flicker of optimism when we read Tommy Sheppard’s latest in The National.
Because that much is certainly true, and it’s uncommonly candid to have anyone in the SNP admit it. So what’s the answer?
(Kelly’s article is here. Link to Grok’s answer here. The ChatGPT analysis that triggered the article can be read in this tweet thread. A verifiable analysis by Grok of the debate, based on a neutral question, can be read here.)
In so far as it’s worth talking about Scottish constitutional politics at all these days, it’s worth taking a moment to analyse the bloodless, anodyne nothingness spouted by the First Minister on The Sunday Show at the weekend.
That clip is less than three minutes long, but it’s so soul-crushingly boring and full of content-free drone and waffle that it’s almost impossible to sit all the way through it, so we’re going to translate and summarise it for you.
Warning: despite the quite zingy title this is actually going to be a very dry stats post, readers. It is, on the other hand, based on a man having something disturbingly close to a complete psychotic mental breakdown, so there’s always that for a bit of colour.
Because the paragraph above, and in particular the highlighted part, is without a doubt the most dishonest, diametrically false and wildly extreme lie about Scottish politics that we’ve ever seen anyone tell in the 13.5 years of Wings Over Scotland’s existence.
And as a rule we don’t bother addressing them because they’re so demented you could spend 5,000 words pulling apart all the individual strands of lunacy every time, and lunatics thrive on attention, but this one does merit a very brief comment.
Because “Vote Labour, get indy” wasn’t our plan. It was John Swinney’s.
Even by the embarrassing standards of The National, the gulf between this morning’s blaring front-page splash and the weak, watery weasel words in the actual article is a chasm so wide and so yawning (in every sense of that word) that it would put the epic planetary scar of Mars’ Valles Marineris to shame.
Coupled with a feebly underwhelming Programme For Government (in which the main policy was the re-abolition of peak rail fares just months after the SNP insisted such a move was unaffordable, with no clue as to where the money had suddenly been found) and a pitiful list of candidates for next year’s Holyrood election featuring the likes of Sally “all aboard the gravy bus!” Donald, Kaukab “DECAPITATE TERFS” Stewart, Kirsten “DECAPITATE TERFS” Oswald, Alison “DECAPITATE TERFS” Thewliss and Alyn “throw anyone who doesn’t want to DECAPITATE TERFS out of the SNP” Smith, the story was an abject vision of a bleak future for independence.
twathater on Anatomy Of A Grift: “At least the weirdo won’t have to worry about Polis Scotchland or COPFS ( Crown Office Procurator Fiscal Service )…” Aug 6, 02:52
Red on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Absolutely unrelated film title ideas: Three Men and No Boaby The Three Shamigos A Fistful of Dilators Spite Club The…” Aug 6, 01:02
dearieme on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Saying rude things about the murdered Miss Widdecombe is rank bad manners but I’m damned if I see why it…” Aug 6, 00:13
Scotspine on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Sorry Stu, I cant be cunted even reading about these weirdos. The time I have available in this world is…” Aug 6, 00:01
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Anatomy Of A Grift: “NO MORE EXCUSES AS EHRC SINGLE-SEX GUIDANCE COMES INTO FORCE Government statutory guidance protecting single-sex spaces has now come into…” Aug 5, 23:48
Ex President Xiden on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Sturgeon should join the greens and do something honest for once in her life.” Aug 5, 23:28
Lee Floyd on The Plague: “After Lawrence, the pendulum of prejudiced malice carried out by police officers has swung the other way; what is it…” Aug 5, 21:50
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Grift: “On the subject of grifts, think twice before signing up for boxing lessons with one of the perhaps 5 new…” Aug 5, 20:52
Southernbystander on Anatomy Of A Grift: “These polycules sound great! How do you apply for a permit? Anyone in?” Aug 5, 20:51
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Every now and again we read of something going on in Scotland that makes patriotic Scots resolved to say “We’re…” Aug 5, 20:04
Nae Need! on Anatomy Of A Grift: “It will get worse – Poppybear has an axe to grind.” Aug 5, 19:54
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “So you’ve been on the receiving end of Alf’s aggressive oppression then, Northy. What was it destroyed yer hoose? A…” Aug 5, 19:42
Nae Need! on The Plague: “Speechless. Raging. Take care of your good self.” Aug 5, 19:38
BLMac on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Maybe if you promise not to put holes where no holes existed before….” Aug 5, 18:51
Bilbo on Anatomy Of A Grift: “I know this is clickbait but it’s not that unbelievable Sturgeon would join the Greens, or as they should be…” Aug 5, 18:43
James on The Plague: “That all you got, ju ju man? Thought so.” Aug 5, 18:25
Hugh Wallace on The Plague: “As a former cop, I echo your WTF? FFS! And I just joined the FSU after months of procrastinating. I…” Aug 5, 18:07
Captain Caveman on The Plague: “😀 Just another thick-as-whale-omelette reality denier, eh Fatso. Well, try as anyone might, you can’t educate pork (literally in your…” Aug 5, 17:45
Lorncal on The Plague: “It is, indeed, plausible, H McH, as the Rev must be a thorn in the side of the authorities whom…” Aug 5, 17:05
Morgatron on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Three of a perfect pair – of Sickos.” Aug 5, 16:59
Chas on Anatomy Of A Grift: “A round of golf can take 14,000/16,000 steps depending on the course played and the ability of the individual and…” Aug 5, 16:58
Lorncal on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Three men living in a ‘polycule’? Or three men in a homosexual threesome? I wouldn’t grudge anyone an op, and…” Aug 5, 16:53
Aidan on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Cue three complaints to Avon and Somerset police . .” Aug 5, 16:49
James on The Plague: “Yeah, yeah, yeah; same old unionist BS from the same old bad actors. “Naw he didnae” is the zenith of…” Aug 5, 16:42
Terry on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Brilliant. Thanks Stu. This nasty polycule of perverts has harassed us women in Aberdeen when we have done stalls and…” Aug 5, 16:40
Cuphook on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Do they live in a charity shop bin? There is a ‘Welcome to Inverurie’ sign before the one in his…” Aug 5, 16:38
Aidan on The Plague: “Okay James – so just to summarise, Scottish independence isn’t classified anywhere as an attempt to overthrow parliamentary democracy, Rishi…” Aug 5, 16:34
Captain Caveman on The Plague: “Who cares what anyone “thinks”, moron (or more accurately, what hyperbole they might have used in one speech). That doesn’t…” Aug 5, 16:00
