Those are the words of David Cameron as he launched the Scottish Tories’ manifesto in front of a heavily-vetted invited audience in Glasgow yesterday. They make the pages of a couple of other papers, including the Guardian (which hides them even further down the page than the Sun does), but it’s only the Herald that picks up on their significance, leading its article with the unequivocal lines:
So, let’s just get this one straight, this morning’s English edition of The Sun – two parties with 316 seats are “stealing” an election from two parties with 309 seats?
Want us to walk you through that whole “counting” thing again?
Last night’s juxtaposition of somewhat contradictory front covers on the Herald and Scottish Daily Mail was modestly amusing, but nothing new. We pointed out weeks ago that papers on both the left and the right were – often on the same days – painting the SNP as hand-in-glove allies of either Labour or the Tories according to whatever suited their own agendas, and nothing’s changed in that respect.
But it’s interesting to take a look behind the headlines of the respective stories and see the degree to which the truth can be bent, exaggerated or in some cases simply made up from thin air.
The bald-eagle-looking chap toting the cerise tie in this clip of this morning’s Victoria Derbyshire show on the BBC News channel is Lord (Andrew) Adonis, a former Labour government minister under Tony Blair and Gordon Brown.
He also wrote the book “Five Days In May” about the latter’s unsuccessful attempt to form a coalition with the Liberal Democrats in 2010, despite having won almost 50 fewer seats than the Conservatives in that election. So he understands the process.
Lord Adonis does, in fairness, make a brief and half-hearted attempt at punting Jim Murphy’s “1924” line, but in the end he’s forced to concede (nudged along by Peter Riddell of the Institute for Government) that in fact the second-placed party forming the government is perfectly possible.
But the most remarkable thing happened at the end.
That, readers, is quite the admission. That’s a party which has utterly dominated UK politics in Scotland for six decades openly acknowledging that its entire campaign in the last three weeks will be based on railing against a complete fantasy.
The Daily Record gets up high on its outrage horse this morning with a front-page story titled “Double-crossed on devo”, echoing Jim Murphy’s claim of yesterday that the Tories’ manifesto pledge on “English votes for English laws” is a “betrayal” of the “Vow” signed by the three UK party leaders before the independence referendum.
Unsurprisingly, the Record gives rather less prominence to the news that the Vow isn’t worth the fake parchment it wasn’t written on than it did to repeatedly hyping it up and then proclaiming that it had already been delivered.
Last week we listened to a Radio Scotland phone-in debate on Trident, hosted very deftly by John Beattie, who managed to steer callers away from political points and keep the discussion on the merits or otherwise of the weapons system itself.
Sadly that didn’t dissuade the usual coterie of nutters/local councillors phoning in insisting that (a) North Korea would invade/blast Scotland off the face of the Earth the moment we let our guard down, and (b) Helensburgh would immediately revert to the Stone Age at the loss of jobs were the few hundred Trident sailors who spend about a week every year in the town to be reassigned to other posts in the navy.
We didn’t have time to ring in ourselves, but we did manage to think of a much better idea that solved both of those problems without lumbering Scotland with a gigantic nuclear white elephant, and one that would also free up an awful lot of valuable police time and resources that are currently spent arresting a bunch of hippies.
We try to avoid openly editorialising on this site, readers. While unashamedly partisan in our leanings, as a rule we prefer to present the facts and let people come to their own conclusions from the evidence.
But we’re not sure we’ve ever seen anything more craven and pathetic than this.
James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “North Code, Then narrative is that the Scottish parliament was closed, ended, made void, dissolved, Sine Die, on the 28th…” Nov 6, 09:11
Knuckle_Heid on Vibecoding A Better World: “I didn’t see that Frank and what a shower they are in HR, awarding themselves way above inflation pay rises…” Nov 6, 08:36
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “The NHS, being a supertanker of a monolithic institution, is always going to be behind the trend. The actual, real-time…” Nov 6, 08:21
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Quick! Send more money. There’s a few in various parts of the world could tell you what real state threats…” Nov 6, 08:05
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Vibecoding A Better World: “NHS SQUANDERING MILLIONS ON SEX-SWAP SURGERIES NHS England has spent over £5 million this past year on mastectomies for gender-confused…” Nov 6, 00:00
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “There’s plenty of speculation that Harris intends to stand for nomination as presidential candidate for 2028. So if you’re opening…” Nov 5, 23:49
100%Yes on Vibecoding A Better World: “Sarah the colonizer portrays its self to be a pillar of law and order, the people of these Island know…” Nov 5, 23:47
Frank Gillougley on Vibecoding A Better World: “Meanwhile in news elsewhere, a fifteen thousand pound ‘pay rise’ for holyrood committee conveners (to chair a meeting of useless…” Nov 5, 23:02
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Scottish bank notes? Most Londoners won’t touch the things.” Nov 5, 22:24
sarah on Vibecoding A Better World: “Further dubious shenanigans against Craig Murray. He is staying in London in order to attend the Supreme court hearings about…” Nov 5, 21:46
100%Yes on Vibecoding A Better World: “Well done Professor Alf Baird joined by Editor Laura Webster, Robin McAlpine was a complete waste of time and came…” Nov 5, 21:23
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Listened to the news today, sam? UK economy mysteriously doing better than many in the EU, especially France. Best not…” Nov 5, 20:27
Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “Yes look at this whole slavery reparations debate. All completely made in Beijing,” Nov 5, 19:47
Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “For once Sarah is right – it is ridiculously and obviously illegal for a crowdfunding website to simply seize donations,…” Nov 5, 19:38
sam on Vibecoding A Better World: “I don’t know what you mean when you say a deliberately bungled Brexit deal. Clarify, please? The loss to Scotland’s…” Nov 5, 19:17
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Ah c’moan noo, Spartan. Surely you’re not in a pet because I had the temerity to correct the mistake in…” Nov 5, 18:47
Spartan 117 on Vibecoding A Better World: “No it didn’t Alf, I don’t want the M25 omniclusterfuckpermashambles ruling over us either, as I’ve repeatedly said (despite some…” Nov 5, 17:34
Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: ““I have zero desire to be ruled by a foreign despotic power” Whit aboot bein ruled by imperial England-as-UK these…” Nov 5, 15:06
Captain Caveman on Vibecoding A Better World: ““The west decided to virtue signal by leaving ours in the ground so that even as we buy every gram…” Nov 5, 15:00
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““those lusting after violence and death” I assume that’s what an AI would have corrected your post to if you’d…” Nov 5, 14:52
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““Maybe the Chinese have it right after all” I was recently reading about the Chinese colonisation of Africa. They ply…” Nov 5, 14:31
Holymacmoses on Vibecoding A Better World: “I love Claude – it and I are doing a criticism of The Master of Ballantrae – it’s very good…” Nov 5, 13:19
Spartan 117 on Vibecoding A Better World: “I’ll also add, before the inevitable howls of outrage, I will not cheer against the government, I have zero desire…” Nov 5, 13:09
Spartan 117 on Vibecoding A Better World: “Anyone thinking conscription will be successfully implemented across the UK is completely delusional, never mind just with new mums. If…” Nov 5, 13:01
willie on Vibecoding A Better World: “Here is an extract in a report about the possibility of future conscription. “Should gender equality conscription be introduced in…” Nov 5, 12:33
Captain Caveman on Vibecoding A Better World: “Umm, you do realise the whole “beardy bloke” thing is a product of the Left and in Scotland’s specific case,…” Nov 5, 12:33
Bilbo on Vibecoding A Better World: “Sounds like the deranged rantings of a beardy bloke in a dress. Okay, Unionist mugs, who’s bird is it?” Nov 5, 12:12
Captain Caveman on Vibecoding A Better World: ““The consequences are far more serious for a colonized people” Well, it was always a dead cert that you would…” Nov 5, 11:55
Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “Once you realise how much time government machinery spends: – entertaining legacy media organisations; versus – making effective long term…” Nov 5, 11:44
Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: ““So what’s your excuse” Only once you get with the colonial vibe can you begin to decolonize the mind, Hatey;…” Nov 5, 11:14