This is shadow Chancellor John McDonnell speaking to the Labour Party conference in Brighton just a few minutes ago (immediately prior to rather presumptuously inviting the Scottish electorate to “come home to Labour”):
We don’t recall those things happening. We feel sure that if they had, they would have been mentioned in the papers. Can any readers help us out?
Given that he’s the last Labour MP left in Scotland, it’s perhaps just as well that Ian Murray is a quite interesting figure, because there’s going to be a lot of attention on him in the next five years.
Unlike the over-promoted, under-skilled, Buggins’-turn knife-and-fork-operators who’ve disgraced what were previously weigh-the-vote Labour constituencies in Scotland for decades, the member for Edinburgh South has some genuinely admirable qualities. As we noted before the election, he’s earned a reputation as a hard-working local MP: holding surgeries, replying diligently to letters and speaking up in the Commons.
He’s got a sense of humour about his lonely role, he’s the only Unionist politician ever to talk to Wings on the record, and on account of running a large tent at the Bath Festival most years he’s well known to several of our good friends in the city, who all speak highly of his personal character and work ethic.
So in all seriousness, we’re not without respect for the man. Which makes it all the more painful every time he opens his mouth.
Ever since the SNP’s unexpected majority in 2011, there’s been a constant low-level whine of “one-party state” from various elements of the Unionist establishment. (The first example we could find from a quick Google search was Liberal Democrat buffoon Sir Malcolm Bruce in September of that year.)
It’s a curiously bitter and irrational way to refer to the outcome of democratic elections held under proportional representation, reflecting a worrying contempt for the views of voters, but after the SNP saw the benefits of First Past The Post in May 2015 (having spent decades being its victim), the angry bleating has become far more noticeable.
(The most recent politician to use the phrase was the Lib Dems’ current leader Tim Farron. Perhaps the party is engaging in displacement activity to distract itself from its craven abandonment in 2010 of its lifelong commitment to introduce PR, selling its principles cheaply for ministerial cars and a referendum on what Nick Clegg called the “miserable little compromise” of AV, which was then lost by a humiliating margin.)
The editor of the New Statesman just tweeted this image, trailing an interview with Jim Murphy, who alert readers may recall led Scottish Labour for a few months this year before its apocalyptic disaster of a general election campaign which saw it lose 40 of the 41 Scottish seats it won in 2010:
Oh, wait – maybe he’s trying to claim the credit for it.
Alert readers may recall an incident last year in which the Scottish media got itself very worked up about some independence supporters threatening to boycott holiday company Barrhead Travel after its owner sent a barking-mad letter to staff about how the company would go out of business if Scotland voted Yes.
So we’re sure that you won’t be able to move later today and tomorrow for newspaper articles about something similar, but significantly worse, that happened this weekend.
And that’s all very well, but not exactly stop-the-presses stuff – nobody reading this site is going to be terribly surprised at Scottish Labour being caught out in a lie. But the party’s house newspaper the Daily Record went for a subtly different angle on the story that did manage to provoke us to raise an eyebrow.
So we weren’t expecting this. The Telegraph have sent us a reply after we complained to IPSO about this. It’s worth a read, so we thought we’d let you see it.
We’ve got a book to read today, folks, so we’ll be with you later.
We expect it to be in the top three funniest things we read today, but to be honest with you we wouldn’t like to commit to anything more specific than that.
Kezia Dugdale talking to Gordon Brewer on BBC Scotland today:
“I’m astonished that you’ve spent 10 minutes in this interview talking about independence and Trident when almost 50% of the poorest kids in the country can’t read […] I’m sure you’d be shocked to know that 50% of the poorest kids leave our schools unable to read.”
We suspect he would too. Because it’s total cobblers.
robertkknight on Irony you can’t buy: “More neck than Melman the giraffe! If there’s any justice in this world she’s due at the very least a…” Mar 20, 21:38
George Ferguson on Irony you can’t buy: “Another post disappeared into the ether. I have worked out it out. A defunct 5 year old e mail account…” Mar 20, 21:15
Mark Beggan on Irony you can’t buy: “And it’s Mr Beggars to you.” Mar 20, 20:34
Alf Baird on Irony you can’t buy: “So-called ‘Nationalist’ elites retiring on fat colonial pensions tells us all we need to know – colonial administrators all. Mair…” Mar 20, 20:34
Mark Beggan on Irony you can’t buy: “That’s the financial damage and then there’s other damage. The lifes lost, the back stabbing, the lieing, the attack on…” Mar 20, 20:20
Southernbystander on Looking up at the stars: “NC: ‘In contrast to Persia’s great contribution to humanity America’s very, very few inventions include . . .’ Jazz?” Mar 20, 20:10
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “There won’t be much food coming anyway. That’s Qatar oot the game & with it the worlds fertiliser along with…” Mar 20, 20:04
Mark Beggan on Irony you can’t buy: “A war cant run itself you know. Just getting my Dragon Ladies in order. The Chief Turnip? You’ve got to…” Mar 20, 20:02
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Aidan No need to start by apologising Aidan. Thick am I? Well and well, just watched ITN. They must be…” Mar 20, 19:43
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “Gawd. You’re right. We wouldn’t be that lucky. The failed politician will be wheeled out every now & again to…” Mar 20, 19:28
ABruce on Irony you can’t buy: “This thrawn wee besom really really shouldn’t have fooled us. I mean, who could possibly have any doubts about someone…” Mar 20, 19:28
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “Sorry YL, I appreciate you aren’t that smart and to you this is all a bit of a mystery or…” Mar 20, 19:23
Young Lochinvar on Irony you can’t buy: “Where’s Hatey? Even Beggars has gone quiet.. Sorry my bad, celebrating Eid el fatr no doubt 🙂” Mar 20, 19:20
Iain More on Irony you can’t buy: “She churns my stomach like all Quislings do. The damage she has done to Scotland should bring charges of Treason…” Mar 20, 19:18
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “I always liked Joanna. She’d have been a good FM. If she’d challenged Sturgeons leadership she’d have won it hands…” Mar 20, 19:15
Scot Finlayson on Irony you can’t buy: “`All political lives, unless they are cut off in midstream at a happy juncture, end in failure, because that is…” Mar 20, 18:52
TimePilot on Irony you can’t buy: “Oh, to see ourselves as others see us Nicola. If only Mr Salmond was still alive to recite this in…” Mar 20, 18:49
Young Lochinvar on Irony you can’t buy: “To add to the litany of comments already made I would add Branchform, sneaky Pete dropped like a hot potato…” Mar 20, 18:37
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Aidan Largest “ferry” port. Doesn’t the use of “ferries” in and out of a quarantined area strike you as rather…” Mar 20, 18:11
ScottieDog on Irony you can’t buy: “And a tidy pension. Wondering if she’ll become baroness sturgeon one day, sitting next to lord Blackford of humblecroft and…” Mar 20, 17:59
christine on Irony you can’t buy: “Failed lawyer Sturgeon peddled and condoned the genital mutilation of our children. She sanctioned the abuse, torment, degradation and trauma…” Mar 20, 17:49
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: “Ex-SNP MP Joanna Cherry: “It is easy to make a promise. Much harder to keep it. Sturgeon governed by press…” Mar 20, 17:01
Onlooker on Irony you can’t buy: “Is there any way to sue her to get the money back she claimed as an MSP, whilst not turning…” Mar 20, 16:54
Jon Drummond on Irony you can’t buy: “Well put. I agree 100% and more.” Mar 20, 16:18
Lorncal on Irony you can’t buy: “As a woman myself, I cannot get around the fact that both Thatcher and Sturgeon respectively and individually destroyed the…” Mar 20, 16:16
Jon Drummond on Irony you can’t buy: “The nastiest, most self-centred, little b1tch in Scottish history. A fucking disgrace to the whole nation. Burning in Hell would…” Mar 20, 16:15
Willie on Irony you can’t buy: “Her time I am sure will come. Her dark deeds will come back to haunt her. In the meantime she…” Mar 20, 16:15
Sven on Irony you can’t buy: “Geri @ 13.00. If only she were going to disappear back into obscurity, Geri. I’ve no doubt she and what…” Mar 20, 15:30