Earlier today Gordon Brown gave a speech in London, on a subject and for reasons which are unclear. It was widely trailed in the press, however, as an intervention in the Labour leadership campaign, with the particular goal of stopping Jeremy Corbyn from winning. It was – naturally – broadcast live and in full by the BBC News channel.
Corbyn wasn’t mentioned by name so far as we noticed, but to tell the truth we drifted in and out of the rambling, 49-minute, 30-page monologue full of celebrity namedrops and unconnected anecdotes, hypnotised as we were by Brown’s relentless pacing up and down the room like a caged animal.
Nobody who isn’t getting paid should have to endure the entire grimness of it, so using the magic of technology we’ve compressed it all down to a mere fraction of its length (just 20%) for you, but without losing any of the tone, content or intellectual nuance.
We offer it to you as an elegy. It marks the day that Labour reanimated the walking corpse of the only person left in the party that it considers to have any gravitas – not to win an election, but to try to crush the first man in living memory to enthuse tens of thousands of new members to join a political party in the hope of restoring the values it was created to uphold.
It is the day the soul of the Labour Party finally died.
Michelle Mone, the fake-tan-and-diet-pills tycoon who threatened to leave Scotland if the SNP won the 2007 Holyrood election (but didn’t when they did), then threatened to leave if Yes won the referendum (but did when it didn’t), now lives in a very expensive flat by the Thames in London with a lovely view of Tower Bridge.
So who’d like to see the Order tolerating and defending other people’s ideals in a double-page spread from the latest edition of their house journal, The Orange Torch?
The Daily Record has a major editorial in today’s edition bleating piteously about the way David Mundell and the Conservative government have – to everyone’s complete and utter astonishment, except not so much – ignored the wishes of almost all the MPs elected by the Scottish people just two months ago and blocked every single amendment to the Scotland Bill.
The picture above, by alert reader Neil Hepburn, seems to sum the situation up.
On the day Jim Murphy stands down as leader of the Labour Party North Britain branch office, we’d like to take this opportunity to offer our humble, heartfelt tribute to both him and the insightful political commentariat of Scotland.
sam on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Scottish Social Attitudes Study 2025 “18% of respondents said that they trusted the UK Government to work in Scotland’s best…” Jul 23, 10:20
Alf Baird on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Aye Hatey, up tae yer wee mischievous tricks agin: ‘divide and rule’, the colonizer’s tool.” Jul 23, 10:14
sam on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Sarwar’s degree in dentristy and his role as Scottish Labour Leader where he led the party to its latest debacle…” Jul 23, 10:13
Hatey McHateface on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Sure, Xaracen. But you’ll be long deid. 🙂 Me too. And, whilst no doubt Scotland will leave the UK as…” Jul 23, 09:31
Aidan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “What made Scotland “much better” before 1707 Xaracen? I doubt there is a single objective metric that could be used…” Jul 23, 09:31
Hatey McHateface on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “With the departure of Sarwar, once again, we see that Scotland’s loss is England’s gain. And, as the pool of…” Jul 23, 09:18
Xaracen on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Hatey said; “Scotland was a much better place when it was a monarchy.” Scotland was a much better place when…” Jul 23, 08:55
Hatey McHateface on Ain’t it funny how things change?: ““buses; but I haven’t been on one for 30 years, and you’d have to get the gun out to get…” Jul 23, 07:55
Hatey McHateface on Progressing To Oblivion: “His phone too, so there will go his language translation app. Come to think on it, taking his phone away…” Jul 23, 07:44
Aidan on Progressing To Oblivion: “I think James’ clothes will need to be buried in concrete on Gruinard Island.” Jul 23, 07:11
Aidan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Culpable homicide isn’t an offence in England (it’s manslaughter) and Donald Findlay isn’t a member of the bar in England…” Jul 23, 07:08
Captain Caveman on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Well, it certainly looks like someone hit you on the head a fair few times, reading that. 🙂” Jul 23, 05:51
Cynicus on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Sarwar senior went to become Governor of Punjab. However Punjabophiles can relax since the office is not hereditary.” Jul 23, 00:49
Confused on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Question of the day must be : how many times is it permissible to hit a tory on the head…” Jul 22, 23:47
Alf Baird on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “The dishonesty is first and foremost in the mankit annexation and ‘Union’ hoax which gives rise to its need for…” Jul 22, 23:26
Young Lochinvar on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “AX Tut tut.. I don’t think anyone has seriously given that moniker to Glasgow for quite some considerable time and…” Jul 22, 23:06
Young Lochinvar on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “HMcH That bad? Really? Made you reply though didn’t it? Validation an’ that eh? Enjoy lock down through the night…” Jul 22, 22:29
Hatey McHateface on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Sorry, Auld Lochnagar, but as a wind up that’s a piss poor effort. Try again around 2 AM. Your output…” Jul 22, 22:22
Dick Wall on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Well now. Let’s have a wee bit of nuance. Most places have a way of appointing ministers who are not…” Jul 22, 21:16
Young Lochinvar on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Chas Why do you lay that responsibility at Alfs door? Is it so you can blame him if things don’t…” Jul 22, 21:10
Young Lochinvar on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “HMcH Aaaaah! In other words ie Yoda-speak; “Rampant Cringe leads to unhappiness, unhappiness leads to non conformance, non conformance leads…” Jul 22, 20:48
Young Lochinvar on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “SF In fairness; “sins of the father” and that.. Not that I’m a fan!” Jul 22, 20:39
Scot Finlayson on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “His dad, Chaudhry Sarwar, was knocked back for a Lordship, `His nomination by outgoing Prime Minister, Gordon Brown for a…” Jul 22, 20:28
Hatey McHateface on Ain’t it funny how things change?: ““This I must say for Scotland, and I may truly vaunt it; here I sit, and govern it with my…” Jul 22, 20:08
Hatey McHateface on The Wheels Of Industry: “If it’s gonna take 300 years to “decolonise”, we’re beyond fortunate to have a thousand year old Pict on our…” Jul 22, 19:58
Lorncal on The Wheels Of Industry: “Alf: I have ever been the contrarian, but I have never considered our situation to be ‘colonial’ in the accepted…” Jul 22, 19:57
Young Lochinvar on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Oooh err.. I see Skynet slipped the leash and started flexing its AI muscles! AI is insanity on steroids and…” Jul 22, 19:49
