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She lives by the river

Posted on August 01, 2015 by

Michelle Mone, the fake-tan-and-diet-pills tycoon who threatened to leave Scotland if the SNP won the 2007 Holyrood election (but didn’t when they did), then threatened to leave if Yes won the referendum (but did when it didn’t), now lives in a very expensive flat by the Thames in London with a lovely view of Tower Bridge.


And boy, does she ever want you to know about it.

Because no matter what happens in Michelle’s life – whether it’s having breakfast or going for a run, attending a celebrity birthday party or celebrating the birth of a royal baby, mentoring some young entrepreneurs or her daughter buying kittens – it always seems to necessitate her tweeting a picture of her scenic deck.

And no, that’s not a euphemism, you filthy pigs.


































We suppose it’s only natural. Given her constant threats to move whenever people in Scotland did something she didn’t like, it’s clear that Ms Mone believes everyone in the country spends every waking minute caring deeply about her personal location.

It’s nice of her to keep us updated.

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  1. 01 08 15 22:17

    She lives by the river | Speymouth

146 to “She lives by the river”

  1. Croompenstein says:

    That’s not the moon Michelle it’s an aircraft warning light on a crane (clue: the moon moves)

  2. Sam Addison says:

    Those poor fucking cats.

  3. donald anderson says:

    Only Labour could make her a Unionist role model.

  4. Peter says:

    Mentoring young entrepreneurs?
    In what? How to clean out a rich husband and bankrupt a company?

  5. icyspark says:

    I really hope she’s using Shaeffer’s Deck Hardener, for those perfect deck photos:

  6. defo says:

    Penthouse envy Stu ?
    Deckist pig !

  7. theMadMurph says:

    I’m never buying her bras again. I’m just going to hang loose #moobs!

  8. Luigi says:

    What’s wrong with the Clyde?

    It’s got all the Thames can offer, and more. Besides, there are real people going about, and there is a definite wiff of independence in the air! 🙂

  9. Walter Scott says:

    I could say she’s a bit unhinged or that she’s a needy, tedious cow but she might say I’m a vile abusive cybernat.. It would seem that she’s still trying to tell her ex husband that her life is brilliant. It’s such a shame. She has no dignity.

  10. Donald MacKenzie says:

    I love the one that says something, “All dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them”, and shows her posing on her deck in London. So, can we deduce from that that a mark of success is to live in London? God help us!

  11. JBS says:

    Jeez. £26k a month? Surely that river must stink during the summer?

  12. Chas says:

    A deeply insecure and unahappy individual. Such a shame. I know someone just like her; I’m sure many of us do. Lovely girl but so full of herself that she’s intollerable.

  13. Karmanaut says:

    Frankly, I’m astonished that 49 people retweeted a photo of glass of juice.

    49 people.

    Imagine you met all 49 of them at a party. Just imagine what that would be like.

  14. muttley79 says:

    Arise Baroness Mone of Narcissism, you now have your wish to be wrapped in ermine in the House of Lords, by selling out Scotland to the Tories/British establishment. You have joined Darling and co in the selling out Scotland stakes. You must be so proud….

  15. Still Positive. says:

    Totally pathetic!

  16. TYRAN says:

    Steel cover tits

  17. Stephen Armstrong says:

    And now a Tory Peer in the House of Lords…..God help us!

  18. Democracy Reborn says:

    Stu, that montage was a hoot.

    It illustrates the old adage…. you just can’t buy class.

  19. Croompenstein says:

    Vile cybernats monster ordinary peer of the realm, posting pictures of her decking or is it a ramp? 😀

  20. Ye see yon lady, ca’d Michelle,
    Wha struts, an’ stares, an’ a’ that;
    Tho’ hundreds buy her lingerie,
    She’s but a coof for a’ that:
    For a’ that, an’ a’ that,
    Her ribband, bra, an’ a’ that:
    The man o’ independent mind
    He looks an’ laughs at a’ that.

  21. Geoff Huijer says:

    Have pity; she’s obviously is a very sad human being.

  22. Lady Arbroath 1320 says:

    So let me see if I have got this right. 😉

    Michelle Mone becomes a “Lady” Moaning Minnie of Tower Bridge and all she can afford to buy/rent is a veranda on someone else’s appartment! 😀

  23. john j says:

    They’re not serious about her being a Tory Peer are they?

  24. Pond life existing next to a river.

  25. Les Cowan says:

    Maybe she should invest in some grammar lessons. What a zoomer.

  26. Dr Jim says:

    This woman has serious mental health issues
    Her obsession with showing the world she’s not lonely is overwhelming
    If she has anyone who cares about her they’d better get on the case PDQ

    This is definitely not to say that I care a jot

    Coz I’m an evil heartless Cybernat Bastirt

  27. hamish says:

    It seems that being an airhead is a necessary condition for getting a peerage.

  28. Onwards says:

    It’s a bit sad really.
    The apartment will have been rented just for that in mind.

    Still, I hope she finds real happiness. There seems to be some sort of inferiority complex beneath all the posturing.

  29. blairtawheelie says:

    @ Thomas Widmann & R.Burns.

    Well re-penned, Man.

    News of the Mone Dam slapped my face very early this morning.

    Does Scotland want to be represented by this “poor soul”, or by the likes of Mhairi Black?

    Join the Dam Busters and let freedom flow.

  30. Richardinho says:

    Not that I’m planning on insulting her, but presumably now that she’s moved out of Scotland she is now impervious to any abuse over the internet anyway?

  31. cearc says:

    The moral of this tale is:

    If you don’t like cats, don’t upset oor Stuey!

  32. Big Jock says:

    I like her comment about next thing to do”Make a difference”.

    I assume she meant changing from an orange tan to a yellow tan, and not donating some of her 20 million to the Maryhill foodbank.

    What a vacuous materialistic cow. Does she not realise that gathering personal possessions doesn’t make your life or opinions important. That’s why I hate the apprentice, it’s the love of money and position over friendship altruism.

  33. Itchybiscuit says:

    Methinks the Lady doth protest too much…

  34. BJ says:

    I had never heard of her until recently. She sounds awful.

    I wonder what her Mum really thinks of how her daughter has turned out.

  35. Jamie Arriere says:

    “Right I must get on one of those club boats. Is that what you call them?”

    Well I’m sure if you took a heider aff yer balcony..maybe a trampoline might come in’s just a matter of timing..

    Happy to help!

  36. Mrs Grimble says:

    I get get over the rents listed there. yes, they cover all the boring stuff like the lecky and broadband bills and you get staff jumping to fulfill your every need, but £thousands a week….!
    Lady Muck must be running one heck of a business to sustain that level of outgoings; her tax arrangements must be pretty interesting. And does her lease allow her to carry out commercial business activities – like her “mentoring” – in the property?

  37. ronnie anderson says:

    Michelle Mone Ordering Broon Envolopes

  38. Kenny says:

    Honestly, I feel like this is kind of a lazy and pretty cheap story, especially when one of those tweets says she “loves OCD.” That’s pretty pathetic. We should ask what she’ll have to say in the Other Place about mental health issues.

  39. stonefree says:

    @ Dr Jim 9:52 pm
    “This woman has serious mental health issues”
    You’re not wrong,she seems both a bit sad and insecure
    Money can’t buy you happiness but it’ll buy you a peerage

  40. Far in Jim says:

    A peerage. These things are done to wind up the Indy movement. They probably imagine we’re jealous.

  41. geeo says:

    Hope nobody posts this on the English internet, she might move out again….????

  42. Macart says:

    Yeah, its a hard life right enough…

    … still I’m sure her life is a right rivettin’ read for folks in schemes all over Scotland. A real inspiration… yup, inspiration, that’s the very word.

    Aaaand back tae the real world, wi real people.

  43. G H Graham says:

    The cock up that caused a business to go tits up.

    The woman is obviously suffering from feelings of deep insecurity, uncertainty & unnerving anxiety about herself

    The self conscious, attention seeking images in swanky costumes in equally swanky locations appears to demonstrate a lack of self confidence, irrational or illogical though, that claim may be.

    But it’s a common expression of possessions & image projection from those who struggle with inner self belief.

    I would guess some of it emerged as a consequence of her private investigator discovering that her husband was secretly nobbing Samantha Bunn, one of her employees.

  44. Democracy Reborn says:

    In the Record, she dismissed cybernats as “muppets”.

    Her ex described her autobiography as a “work of total fiction”. She confessed to spiking his drink with laxatives, trashing his wardrobe and vandalising his Porsche.

    I can’t seem to suss where in the east of Glasgow she grew up. Perhaps she’ll take the title ‘Lady Mone of Parkheid?’

    On the subject of houses by the Thames, she used to stay in the Dorchester Hotel during her London business trips. She was so taken by the furniture that her former matrimonial home in Thorntonhall, Glasgow was kitted out (at a cost of £600,000) entirely with furniture from the same suppliers as the Dorchester’s. The house had 12 rooms. She and her ex husband both suffer from OCD, so they had 4 dishwashers to avoid any any dishes lying around.

    I’m sure she’ll serve the residents of the East End well, and explain to them the benefits of Tory austerity.


  45. Gary45% says:

    Imagine waking up every morning looking at the same Tower Bridge, same pollution, and the same greedy arseholes.
    Is this what you have strived for????
    Ms Moan you deserve your success.
    I wouldn’t change my view from the highlands for any view of Londerland.

    Michele Moan, Objectionable, Brain-dead, Embittered.

  46. yesindyref2 says:

    She’s probably worried about repaying a bridging loan.

  47. Fred says:

    This is for the benefit of her Ex. look at me ah don’t need you!

  48. davidb says:

    Ach you can get the same effect by photoshopping a brown sauce bottle onto any auld decking. Am no impressed.

  49. Auld Rock says:

    Correct me if I’m wrong but wasn’t her company nearly bust a couple of years ago? So has she been printing her own cash?

    Auld Rock

  50. dakk says:

    Nice collection which illustrates the superficiality of the Lady.

    Dont overdo it though Stuart, given her stated motives for flitting to London,or she might come back up the road.

    Something about her tweet ‘Nite World’ which suggests more than a touch of megalomania about her.

    Not entirely sure she’ll like the Lords though with 800 incontinent,lecherous old coke heads sniffing around her drawers.

  51. heedtracker says:

    Bet she just adores Atlas Shrugged too. Cameron’s rewarded her well with her Lords slot and all because she didn’t want Scotland to run its own affairs.

    That acrid stench of UKOK irony etc.

  52. One_Scot says:

    She is definitely suffering from some sort of inferiority complex. Clearly looking for some sort of acceptance from someone.

  53. Molly says:

    Quite honestly couldn’t care what this woman wears, where she lives or what pets she has if she pays for it herself but would like someone to tell me ‘ what exactly Michelle Mone has done to earn a peerage?’

    What qualifies her to have a say in scrutinising laws?’

    There has to be a review of the House of Lords .

  54. Roll_On_2015 says:

    FFS Beam me up Scotty… Whats wrong… This is life Scotty but not as we know it!

  55. Flower of Scotland says:

    She,s obviously needy! Needs more attention. Poor wee scone!

  56. Stephen McKenzie says:

    Rev, I have a series of photos I did of my loft conversion if you are interested.

    I don’t have any naff Primark cushions or pink sannies or anything like that on display, but it does show you how to build a “suspended box” room in a prefabricated truss roofing structure.

    Plus for the essential tit factor, I am often in camera shot wearing a set of pre owned blue Lada franchise overalls bought from the Barra’s..

    I am available for mentoring and nights out.

  57. Graeme Doig says:

    Didn’t know ‘by the river’ was a euphemism for ‘up her own arse’.

    Seriously though, nice pad Michelle. Well done hen. We’re all impressed.

  58. CameronB Brodie says:

    “All dreams come true if we have the courage to pursue them.”

    Guess that’s quite a commonly held view. 🙂

  59. Michelle Mone sold out her country for a bit of decking with a view of a bridge.

    “may you live forever” Michelle.

  60. Marco McGinty says:

    All that complaining about nasty cybernats, and there she is in that last tweet, threatening to murder her own child.

    Fucking hypocrite!

  61. Robert Peffers says:

    I’ve no time to bother running down that numptie of a woman. Let’s change the subject and talk about something more pleasant. Let’s talk about dishes :-

    How’s yer bowels?

    I’ll get my coat!

  62. shiregirl says:

    Oh my…how I have missed what Ms Mone has been up too.


    What an airheed. Oh the challenges….what to wear on a night oot….papaya or organic jojoba for breakfast. WTF???

    We’ve no missed you, Michelle. You sold oot.

  63. MrObycyek says:

    She’s had her knockers that’s for sure.

    I remember watching a documentary on her a few years ago and she came across as very insecure, emotional and rather spiteful. I kind of felt sorry for her. Her behaviour during and after the referendum was pathetic however, and for a grown woman she should know better.

    You can have all the money in the world but you can’t take it with you when you go and it cannot buy you happiness. What kind of legacy do you leave behind when all you care about is status? The answer is none.

    There are a lot of people like her in the world who think that people who are poor or struggling are just lazy and all they need is an attitude adjustment. As for getting a peerage surely this is just some kind of joke?

  64. Tam Jardine says:

    The peerage, the nobility, the monarchy- all of this must end.

    The very embodiment of all that is wrong with the UK.

    This system that Mone wanted us all to endorse is looking out for her, well quelle fuckin surprise! The deil looks after his ane…

    We need to not simply win our independence but build a society based on equality, democracy and compassion rather than privilege, materialism and nepotism.

    It amazes me that the people of the UK has tolerated the House of Lords so long, tolerated so many vampires drain the life from the rest of us.

    So Mone gets to coin it in for doing nothing..
    another mouth to feed. Each member costs the taxpayer an average of £115,000 per year.

    So how many divs like me have to work full time to pay for this extra parasite? Maybe 20? What happened to the age of austerity when we canny apparently afford to properly support people who are out of work or disabled or veterans or even just children who have 2 older siblings?

    All this must end.

  65. shug says:

    Big market for ladies bras in the house of Lords
    Wonder if she will set up stall
    Two pair a pound two pair a pound

  66. msean says:

    No person should be appointed to an institution that can influence and change laws without first putting themselves up for election by the people whose lives they can change.

    Its just not democratic and I’m sure Americans for instance would be enraged if it could happen in the USA,they just wouldn’t put up with it. Time to close down this tip.

  67. thedogphilosopher says:

    Amongst other things, a clear case of status anxiety (hereabouts sometimes diagnosed as ‘cringe’). I recommend a refreshing dose of Alain de Botton’s documentary (Status Anxiety) on You Tube.

    Other than that:

    Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-far better
    Run-run-run-run-run-run-run away!

  68. Ian Brotherhood says:

    @Tam Jardine (12.17) –

    ‘All this must end.’

    Hear hear to that.

  69. Robert Peffers says:

    @msean says: 2 August, 2015 at 12:35 am:

    ” … Its just not democratic and I’m sure Americans for instance would be enraged if it could happen in the USA, they just wouldn’t put up with it.”

    Yon Frech gadgies haed the richt idea. Mind ye thae wir afu revoltin wi it. Yon auld wifie Guillotine wis a richt auld beesom, bit muckle feckful wi it.

  70. Grouse Beater says:

    Waving goodbye to Michelle and her living bra:

  71. Charles Edward says:

    It’s sort of tragic really, after having achieved so much to end up having to live outside on someone’s roof.
    Couple that with the pong of the river at low tide.
    Perhaps a crowd funding appeal could at least give her some stud walls and rig up a tarpaulin?
    Maybe there’s an opportunity here for those resourceful migrants teaming into the capital to share their home-making skills with this new influx of roof-dwellers?
    Bless her, she is making an effort.. the lime green cushions pick up with the artificial planters and take the drab look away.
    My mate Dessie picked some up in Matalan and says their great for balancing his meal for one during Eastenders.
    Everyday value cottage pie scores every time, Dessie says, but it’s a mistake to eat it every day.

  72. dakk says:

    Robert Peffers

    Ma bowels are grand,it’s the rest a’me that’s unravellin’


    No way Westminster will change to elected second chamber because the vast majority of unionist MPs want to become Lords themselves.

    This way they don’t have to bother being elected by their scummy constituents,and have status and a sinecure for life.

  73. frankieboy says:

    What a zoomer.
    #dontforgetatweehasttag #boringasphuck #sumdbytakeherphoneaffher

  74. tooz says:

    I presume i’m not the only one who got a third of the way through and scrolled to the comments?

  75. Forbes bryce says:

    you know what I hate? A media gnat distorts the facts to further it’s own agenda.
    We see distortions every day in the Main Street Media that enrage us, so when I see people on my side of the argument use wrongful, derogatory remarks, just to empathise a point I shudder and think, ‘have we learned nothing’ are we simply replacing their lies with our lies.
    No matter what you think of Michelle Mone being made a Peer
    Wings over Scotland –
    ‘Fake-tan-and-diet- pills’
    Get a grip.
    Trash journalism belongs in the trash. Please don’t go there. We need journalism we can trust to reflect the facts without the emotive crap.

  76. Lady Arbroath 1320 says:

    tooz says:

    I presume i’m not the only one who got a third of the way through and scrolled to the comments?


    It took you THAT long before skipping down to the comments Tooz … what’s wrong … a slow news night? 😀

  77. Alex Waugh says:

    It was the “Always give back.” that did it for me. What a sad, sad wee girl she is. I truly hope that one day she discovers some self-respect, as opposed to self-regard.

  78. Robert Peffers says:

    @tooz says: 2 August, 2015 at 1:13 am:

    “I presume i’m not the only one who got a third of the way through and scrolled to the comments.”

    Your presumption is correct, tooz. Somehow I just do not have the stomach to thole such false fronted people.

    They always reminds me of those USA, Old Wild West Saloons. A very grand two story false front and a single story, dirt floored interior that was full of bad rotgut whiskey, gun-slingers, bandits, drunk men, professional gamblers, carpet baggers and overdressed loose women.

  79. Grouse Beater says:

    They’re not serious about her being a Tory Peer are they?

    Sadly, yes.

    Mone trading places:

  80. NN says:

    And people still believe we aren’t overdue a revolution.

    She is one of many of her kind and they will grow as the rest wither.

  81. Petra says:

    Insecure, unhappy but more than anything unstable Michelle Mone, the ultimate narcissist, has now achieved her penultimate goal that is in becoming a member of the House of Lords.

    One step away from achieving her long term aim of finding some old billionaire, who fantasises about big boobs, to support her financially because she’s technically skint. Additionally getting revenge on her ex-husband who could ultimately see right through her and eventually dumped her. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned so they say …. worst still check out reasons for / symptoms of narcissistic rage.

    She’ll claim for her apartment by the river Thames and people like you and I, the taxpayer, will pay for it. She’ll sally along to Westminster and sign in every morning (or more than likely afternoon) to get paid £1,500 a week tax free for doing nought. We’ll pay for that too.

    Will all of this make her happy? No it won’t. Narcissists are incapable of ever finding peace of mind or real happiness. More than anything she’ll make everyone she comes into contact with, especially the next Mr Moan, lives totally unbearable.

    The news this week between Sewel leaving the House of Lords and Mone joining it (common denominators … Scottish …. obscene greed for money … power mongers …. addictive personalities … great ‘conning’ actors ….. ill-fitting bras) makes the best case / s ever for abolishing the House of Lords ASAP.

  82. a2 says:

    I just hope them cushions are waterproof.

  83. ronnie anderson says:

    The rewards for failure, ah seat on the Red Benches.
    Moan on the River of No Return.

  84. MrObycyek says:


    Spot on with what you said.

    To think people like Mone might end up in the House of Lords beggars belief and should be cause for serious concern. She has clearly not been given a booby prize here. Unfortunately no good can come from it.

    Being part of the union is like suckling on a teat filled with poison and the sooner Scotland takes a hard bite on that noxious nipple and breaks away the better.

  85. gus1940 says:

    You realise, of course, that if Fluffy Mundell were to fall under the mythical No.9 Bus you are looking at the next Secretary of State Against Scotland.

  86. john king says:

    “And no, that’s not a euphemism, you filthy pigs.”

    I didn’t even want to see her scenic deck…I wanted to see her rack…what?
    I like shoes ok. 😉

  87. john king says:

    @me 🙂
    Jings it amazin whit ye kin dae wi a cooncil grant,
    this wiz her balcony before

    Aa jist hope she’s read this

  88. john king says:

    Apparently she even managed tae ahem recycle the pram wheels…
    they’re now oan her drinks trolly. 🙂

  89. john king says:

    Auld Rock says
    “Correct me if I’m wrong but wasn’t her company nearly bust a couple of years ago? So has she been printing her own cash?”

    Maybe she made a clean breast of it?…Ah’ll eh get ma support corset.
    Kenny says
    “Honestly, I feel like this is kind of a lazy and pretty cheap story, especially when one of those tweets says she “loves OCD.” That’s pretty pathetic. We should ask what she’ll have to say in the Other Place about mental health issues.”

    Really Kenny?
    first you complain that it is a lazy and cheap story then you go onto have a pop at her for loving her OCD.

    Rev maybe you should take the “cheap snark” out? 🙂

  90. Ken500 says:

    Exile. Above average earners will not pay £20 a week so children don’t starve. Disgraceful.


  91. Bruce L says:

    There’s a lady who’s sure,
    All that glitters is gold…

  92. T.roz says:

    What a contrived existence. The only comfort I got was that it looked like the rain was going to hammer down.

  93. Dr Ew says:

    And the sad thing is, no matter how hard she tries, her accent and background means they will never truly accept her.

  94. Bugger (the Panda) says:

    The higher the monkey climbs the tree yhe more you can see her arse.

    She isLsonot financially astute shelling out by the week. Buying the flat would have been a smat investment at £ 3 t0 5 millions but renting is juar a drain without return

    She ia not rich and just a bit flush for a short time

    Plus school fees

    she will be bust in a few years, sadly, unless she hooks me.

  95. Mealer says:

    I think it’s all rather amusing.

  96. Robert Kerr says:

    Yes Dr Ew

    She’ll never be truly “one of them”


  97. scottieDog says:

    Please don’t hate the lassie, hate the system that engulfed her.
    There is something deeply sad about these pics and tweets.

  98. Take Independence says:

    I glad she has gone, I don’t need to f****** listen to her mouth anymore and her fucking boasting about her life and about her houses and her money. I am sticking to being poor but having my, principals intact, my own home where I am proud and have grown without doing my country down. The less we talk about this Person the less we will hear or see of her and the less important she becomes.

  99. Graeme Purves says:

    ‘Loving your new Weekend supplement Stu! Where can I buy those trainers?

  100. Betty Boop says:


    What I find deeply sad is that the UK legislature is being filled with sycophants, narcissists, self-obsessed chancers, etc.

    I absolutely believe that HOL should be abolished, leaving no hiding place for those who have been elected in the Commons. I have long believed that the some of the hereditary peers are far preferable to the appointees.

    Which overblown right-wing lackey next? Hopkins?

  101. lewis wilde says:

    Anyone know if the pink bra Lord Sewel

    was wearing was one of her designs?

  102. Blind Squirrel says:

    Looks like a really cool place to live and an amazing flat, world famous view – it would be a brilliant place to have friends round. “Never give up on dreams” is good advice indeed no matter how many times folk tell you that you are too wee, daft or wrong. I would add: and don’t threaten and bully people.

  103. Geoff Bush says:

    In the former East Germany the Stasi paid and looked after people who provided blind loyalty and “service” to the State. In the UK we have the House of Lords.

  104. ScottieDog says:

    Completely agree, it needs to go.
    These pictures and tweets to meet just display a need for acceptance. I’m in London all the time and would want nothing less than an expensive rabbit hutch at the side of the Thames.

    I derive great pleasure watching my son walk into the garden crawl under some netting and eat raspberries off a bush which cost a few quid.

    Maybe just maybe people will start to see how ridiculous this pseudo democracy is.

  105. joe macfarlane says:

    Is it me or does the bridge seem closer in some of the pics, either the bridge moves or her balcony is about half a mile long .

  106. mike cassidy says:

    Michelle takes you down to her place by the river

    You can watch the boats go by

    You can spend the night beside her.

  107. Fred says:

    She’ll be assisting Cameron to screw the poor, the clapped-out aristocrats must be birling in their family vaults.

    Good luck to Gary X with that gold-digging. 🙂

  108. Swami Backverandah says:

    She’s gonna “make a difference”.

    That means Company Utan will be listed as a charity with all *profits going to protect the wee furry orange critters. Awwwwww.

    Except …

    * there won’t be any profits after expenses. That deck ain’t gonna pay fer itself, y’all.

  109. John D aka Nkosi says:

    Total waste of space and an oxygen thief, just like the rest of the twats she is going to be beside.

  110. Anagach says:

    Stu – you are just highlighting that she is ideal for the House of Lords. Everyone in Scotland will sleep better at night knowing that Michelle will be looking out for their interests.

  111. Graeme says:

    tooz says:
    2 August, 2015 at 1:13 am

    I presume i’m not the only one who got a third of the way through and scrolled to the comments?

    No you’re not the only one I got to 3 which more than enough to size up this shallow airhead bimbo

    I’ve seen more depth in a paper cut

    what she’s probably trying to say is please tell me how wonderful and disgustingly expensive it looks, I can’t see any of it because my is buried too far up my own arse


  112. Farnorthdavie says:

    This pains me to write but I somehow feel driven to do it so here goes-

    26-6-15: if this us not a studio/location montage then it a poor exposure balance, she does not look like she was there; must be a manipulated image as her right ear would be in deep shadow if she had simply stood there and how does her hair ‘billow’ but not dress sleeves? Last thing on this one, she may be a picture but a trifle over exposed! (My apologies Carry On film team).

    23-6-15: look at the horizon, the bridge and river are not exactly level.

    3-6-15: Moon? two crane lights!

    24-5-15: photo by a.n.other this time as tower bridge growing out of her napper.

    10-5-15: confirms above thought as she is in this one so gets someone ‘in’ to take this and the other carefully planned images.

    5-5-15: given weather forecast for that date the photo was probably taken on another day.

    23-4-15: how did she post at 7:46pm that she was off to dinner but is able to say she ripped her dress in the car and, if she is so late how did she have time to get have a photo taken and post about something that had yet to happen?? okay she posted in the car perhaps.

    Sorry about all that rubbish but I always like to give something back, even if it is just my commoner’s opinion!!!

    ps I love cats, bitch.

  113. desimond says:

    I dont care too much for money
    Money cant buy me love

  114. Frig says:

    Her deck looks shit anyway

  115. arthur thomson says:

    I understand that it cannot be priority 1 because their is so much else to do but I trust that the SNP are drawing up proposals for the dissolution of the HOL and proposing suitable democratic alternatives. At every opportunity the 56 need to state their abhorrence of the HOL and everything it stands for.

  116. DerekM says:

    oh dear this is one money grabbing girl now she even has her nose in the trough,still i wonder who is backing her and if maybe she like all tory playthings will be discarded once no longer useful.

    What really miffs her is she tried to play glamorous celebrity look at me and listen and everybody went wow she is an idiot,maybe that fake crap will work in London who knows or they might figure out she is an idiot as well lol

  117. Heather Sibbald says:

    What, no pics of her sitting on David Cameron’s lap? Isn’t that why she’s getting a title? For services rendered?

  118. Les wilson says:

    She makes her Indy stand rather er, obvious.
    Reminds me of my granddaughter’s barbie doll.

  119. Craig says:

    I am not going to jump on the I hate MM bandwagon but it’s a shame that she feels the need to display her wealth this way, she is clearly insecure and in need of attention to justify her existence on this planet.

    I have absolutely nothing against people who worked hard to be wealthy, my uncle is extremely wealthy and he doesn’t even buy a flash car, he said to me, he only spends his wealth for my aunt, 2 cousins and the house, that is how he is successful when obtaining business from his clients, he doesn’t turn up showing off his flashy car.

    MM is just a long line of “Scots” that suffer the cringe that they deny all Scottishness and move to England where they feel that they wouldn’t be looked down upon for being a multi-millioniare.

    I, for one, am delighted that she has moved to London, gutted though that she will be active in politics and will have a part in the political affairs of Scotland and also have a voice within the media, guess being an Unionist does have it rewards.

  120. Brian Doonthetoon says:

    Hi mike cassidy.

    Nothing beats a good Leonard Cohen paraphrase!


  121. Clootie says:

    I’ve just been sick!

  122. Dal Riata says:

    Yup, there seems to be a theme of some sort going on there in those pics, but I just haven’t quite worked out what is yet… 😉

    Her favourite newspaper/website/right-wing propaganda outlet says:

    “And it is believed that the Conservatives want to make the tycoon a business czar as a reward for backing the ‘No’ vote.”

    Soooo, what about all those other proudScotbuts? There must be hunners ae thum…

    Actually, according to ‘official figures’ there were 2,001,926 people, allegedly, “backing the ‘No’ vote”. Why only one peerage ‘award’ for being a proudScotbut? Shouldn’t the other 2,001,925 get one too? Where are their peerages? What say you, Davey boy?

    Maybe it’s a dosh thing. Ms. Mone is said to be worth some 38 million smackeroonies. Pehaps Cameron and the Conservatives equate having money as having the right to be within Westminster’s debating chamber scrutinizing and revising on UK legislation without being elected to do so.

    “And she will bring something new to the stuffy Lords. It needs shaking up.”

    Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! You go Ms.Mone, you go shake’em up!

  123. yesindyref2 says:

    I feel forced to comment on the design and my verdict is that the decking is sparse, not very utilitarian either, and the living room is the opposite of cosy, not gemuetlich.

  124. Triangular Ears says:

    “Utan, as in Orang.”


  125. Puzzled Puss says:

    Isn’t it fortunate that their noble lordships will now be able to access expert advice on their novelty underwear choices!

  126. Andy-B says:

    I wish her all the best in her new London life, her heart wasn’t in Scotland, so she used the nationals as a excuse to leave she probably won’t be missed by many folk, I for one certainly won’t, miss her.

    Now lets put all thoughts of her behind us and get on with the job of making Scotland independent.

  127. robertknight says:

    I wonder if (ex) Lord Sewer was sporting one of the Ultimo range of bras in his now famous front-page image.

    Perhaps Lady Moaney of Wherever could offer him a modelling contract?

  128. VikingsDottir says:

    Why worship God when you can worship yourself? The interview she gave on Sky News when she became a ‘government advisor’ was cringeworthy. Just the sort to be in the Lords.

  129. Ferncake says:

    Aye, we’ll not miss Marie-Antoinette as long as we have this girl about.

    When I read about these folk and their hopes, dreams and chi-chi apartments and lifestyles, all of which of course have to advertised in the public domain, I really feel sorry for their gilded but essentially vacuous existence. And I can’t help but wonder what his or her family, and especially the parents, make of it all.

  130. Graeme says:

    Lets face it if the Great British establishment ever has one scrap of dignity it just blew it with that appointment


    There’s not a grain of doubt in my mind that this appointment was for no other reason that to piss off the Scots, that’s how petty and childlish they are

    I don’t actually give a shit if it makes her happy best of luck to her, what really bothers me is that were joined at the hip to that pond life down in Westminster


  131. chris kilby says:

    I think you secretly fancy her, Stu.

  132. Socrates MacSporran says:


    Can I suggest you take a cue from Baroness Thatcher of Grantham and do not give these people the oxygen of publicity.

  133. Bill Fraser says:

    What a ghastly person this woman is.To gleefully show off the trappings of a lucrative career on such a scale at the time when most people are struggling to make ends meet and even feed themselves,without even expressing how fortunate she is to be in such a position.Who in the world accepts her tweeting?

  134. Brian Doonthetoon says:

    Hi Bill Fraser.

    Got to agree with you. When people (a nation?) are down, it ill behoves one to rub their noses in one’s personal good fortune, specially if it’s ill-gotten, because of one’s personal business failings.

  135. Stephen McKenzie says:

    Actually, if you look at the web site for the apartment block, it has some really quite nice rooms plus there is a welcome hamper and slippers provided when you arrive, and if you had the money (or you don’t overly concern yourself with what might pay for it, as finance was not your strongest attribute), then why not..

    However this apartment block is really a “Souped up Travelodge, Premier Inn etc.” nothing more. You cannot buy these apartments but you can stay for one day or up to a year maximum.

    So Michelle, it has no on site restaurant, shop, car park or bar. I do hope your mother brought you down some noodles, coffee and milk when she visited you. It might indeed have a nice view when it brightens up, but it is not your home much as your fantasy world thinks it should be.

  136. John says:

    Wee mum has been in that same chair for days now. Maybe someone should check her pulse.

  137. Brian Doonthetoon says:

    And the other thing is…

    I think it is SO patronising to refer to your mother as “wee” – after all, she was big enough to bear the delivery of you!

  138. Stephen McKenzie says:


    I share you concern for her wee mum, as she does seem to be sitting there shelling peas all day for I guess the evenings post mentoring event.

    Let of course hope that as is well.. However, I suspect that wee maw is not allowed to come onto the veranda with the tray of hot sausage rolls while Michelle is pitching that her success down to tanning products and a simple lifestyle.

    Call me an old cynic..

  139. Vambomarbeleye says:

    I will stick with my view of the Skye bridge. Looks better and the water smells a dam site better.

  140. Eckle Fechan says:

    Great hair. Great teeth. Great figure.

    God bless her, and all who sail on her.

    Seriously though, God help her weans.

  141. hevvabeccywoss says:

    I fear I am not being my kindest here but is her face suppose to look life like? Is plastic mahogany a good look these days? Sorry, claws back in but it’s for her own good. If she had good friends they should be telling her to go slow with the botox and creosote

  142. Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

    “She isLsonot financially astute shelling out by the week. Buying the flat would have been a smat investment at £ 3 t0 5 millions but renting is juar a drain without return”

    We have no idea if she owns it or rents it. Though the rest of the building does seem to be for rental.

  143. Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

    “‘Fake-tan-and-diet- pills’
    Get a grip.”

    That’s her business now. She owns hardly any of Ultimo any more.

  144. gus1940 says:

    The Herald has disappeared its items re Mone’s elevation no doubt due to the majority of comments being negative re Cameron’s latest brainwave.

    Meanwhile the on-line edition is still full of week old and more stories.

  145. Greannach says:

    The poor soul.

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