As previously, we’re having quite a lot of trouble understanding the difference between “independence” (39%), and “the Scottish Parliament should make all the decisions for Scotland” (51%). We’re going to drop the SSAS a line and see if they’ll ask for us.
Weirdly, right after seeing this earlier this afternoon, we sat down to watch an episode of The Professionals on ITV4, which contained what seemed a rather apt segment.
We don’t think it’s a younger Iain Martin of the Telegraph (accompanied by colleagues Alan Cochrane and Tom Gallagher), but don’t make us swear to it.
The dogged determination of Scottish Labour to insult the Scottish electorate is a source of constant slack-jawed astonishment to us. Over the years we’ve lost count of the number of times the party’s politicians have effectively said “People are just too stupid to vote for us”, in the apparent belief that abuse is the way to win back support.
But it’s not always so overt. The subtler ways in which the party treats voters like morons include the assumption that people’s memories only go back to yesterday’s newspapers, and there can surely be no more stark illustration than its recent adoption of the attack line that the SNP are standing “shoulder to shoulder with the Tories”.
Alert readers can’t have failed to notice a desperate Scottish Labour dusting off the old “Tartan Tories” attack on the SNP recently, over the Nats’ unwillingness to join in with Kezia Dugdale’s kerrazy kaper of hiking up income tax.
So after today we can only assume they’ll be looking for some similarly pithy zingers for their colleagues in Wales. They can have this one for free.
STV have leaked the results of Scottish Labour’s list-candidate rankings. Alert readers will recall that Kezia Dugdale promised that her leadership would see an influx of “new talent and fresh faces” to the beleaguered branch office’s ranks.
The tweets below are all genuine, and taken from the Scottish Labour Twitter account earlier today during its live-tweeting of Kezia Dugdale’s speech. We’ve rarely heard a more compelling and concise argument for a Yes vote. We take our hats off to her.
Willie on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “And meanwhile if I may change the dial what thoughts if any on the announcement that Mr Swinney is looking…” Sep 23, 03:11
Cynicus on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Thanks Fheargais. I was in Sleat a few days before the event but had to get home on the Monday…” Sep 23, 00:13
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “77 SUNSET STRIP – 1958 – TV Series – ABC www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QGvjXDIJ54” Sep 23, 00:07
Bilbo on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “A whole lot of comments and everybody and their dug sees that Hatey is talking mince but has too much…” Sep 22, 23:05
Hatey McHateface on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: ““forgot to iron his shirt” That’s a mystery. In the pic I saw of him boarding the plane to fly…” Sep 22, 22:31
Hatey McHateface on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “If you attach a vid of yourself singing “Imagine”, dressed in a fairtrade kaftan and recycled plastic shoes, you’re guaranteed…” Sep 22, 22:22
Hatey McHateface on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “You got it, Stu. Your site, your rules.” Sep 22, 22:08
Southernbystander on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “True but calling social security ‘welfare’ is a relatively recent US import and in the UK is often used with…” Sep 22, 21:47
Mark Beggan on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “‘piece-rate’ That may well have worked under the colonial system. For your information we both meet the Rev’s representatives in…” Sep 22, 21:23
Mark Beggan on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “The Mayor of Britain looked like a sixth former getting reprimanded by the headmaster. He looked as if he was…” Sep 22, 21:10
Spartan 117 on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Gordoom went Scorched Earth on the UK in a fit of spiteful rage when the UK public didn’t like him,…” Sep 22, 21:05
Mark Beggan on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Please call the SNP on 0800 633 5432 if you have any queries about your donation.” Sep 22, 21:02
Onlooker on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “An anti-Sturgeon (in a roundabout way) petition some of you might get a wry chuckle out of. Sign and pass…” Sep 22, 20:57
Spartan 117 on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “United Federation of Planets? I’d sign up for that, happily. A utopia where conflict and want among mankind is eliminated…” Sep 22, 20:56
Spartan 117 on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “I think we all know who’s havering. It’s the one who keeps spam-posting all day, every day BTL. Gie it…” Sep 22, 20:47
Hatey McHateface on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Wheesht! If that story gets out all the SNP-supporting Scots who think likewise will make her FM.” Sep 22, 19:40
Hatey McHateface on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Ah, c’moan noo, Alf. Gie the boy a brek. Dave’s nae ganging tae ken fit “et al” means. An try…” Sep 22, 19:38
Mark Beggan on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Collete Stevenson thinks Braveheart was a fly on the wall documentary.” Sep 22, 18:56
Hatey McHateface on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Man! The power of social media. For the very first time ever, I post “super sized turdberg of excrement” and…” Sep 22, 18:50
Alf Baird on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Hatey et al are clearly on a ‘piece-rate’, Dave.” Sep 22, 18:47
Hatey McHateface on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “As you were, folks. US-UK bromance is back on: https://www.theguardian.com/politics/live/2026/sep/22/andy-burnham-donald-trump-un-general-assembly-uk-politics-latest-news” Sep 22, 18:43
Hatey McHateface on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “You’re obviously unaware of my tech savviness, Bob. When I hit “Submit Comment” in reply to one of your posts,…” Sep 22, 18:41
robertkknight on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “20-25% is the norm. Simply can’t help themselves. A BTL whack-a-mole Ninja with nothing of value to add to the…” Sep 22, 18:26
Hatey McHateface on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “As it happens, Spartan, I’m on the DM Online site most days (well of course I am). I’m moderately, no,…” Sep 22, 18:15
Northcode on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “I think we’re talking about two different things. Submitting documents, speaking at side-events, or having NGOs raise issues at the…” Sep 22, 16:10
Aidan on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Scotland has not been “recognised” in any meaningful way. Documents have been sent in, but the UN receives a whole…” Sep 22, 15:58
sam on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Scotland has been recognised within the UN framework regarding her claim as NSGT. Documents have been submitted to the UN,…” Sep 22, 15:35
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Short presentation by SARA SALYERS 6 days ago, on behalf of SALVO / LIBERATION SCOTLAND. www.youtube.com/watch?v=piEfPOlpI9k” Sep 22, 14:54