Last week we listened to a Radio Scotland phone-in debate on Trident, hosted very deftly by John Beattie, who managed to steer callers away from political points and keep the discussion on the merits or otherwise of the weapons system itself.
Sadly that didn’t dissuade the usual coterie of nutters/local councillors phoning in insisting that (a) North Korea would invade/blast Scotland off the face of the Earth the moment we let our guard down, and (b) Helensburgh would immediately revert to the Stone Age at the loss of jobs were the few hundred Trident sailors who spend about a week every year in the town to be reassigned to other posts in the navy.
We didn’t have time to ring in ourselves, but we did manage to think of a much better idea that solved both of those problems without lumbering Scotland with a gigantic nuclear white elephant, and one that would also free up an awful lot of valuable police time and resources that are currently spent arresting a bunch of hippies.
We try to avoid openly editorialising on this site, readers. While unashamedly partisan in our leanings, as a rule we prefer to present the facts and let people come to their own conclusions from the evidence.
But we’re not sure we’ve ever seen anything more craven and pathetic than this.
We’ve been quiet today because we’ve been wading through the 80-odd painfully-dry pages of the Labour 2015 election manifesto, folks. It’s a deeply tedious read – screeds and screeds of waffly text about how nice things are nice and good things are good but bad things are bad. A couple of things did jump out, though. Here’s one.
Alert readers will of course recall that the party’s solemn pledge in Scotland is to provide 1000 more nurses (hastily revised from the comical “1000 more than whatever the SNP say”) from the proceeds of the Mansion Tax, even though NHS Scotland is devolved and no Westminster government can in fact hire a single Scottish nurse.
But hang on. Something’s not right about those numbers.
A super-alert reader pointed out something about today’s Sunday Politics that we hadn’t noticed. Before the galaxy-class trainwreck that was the Scottish leaders’ debate, the networked section of the show had a piece on Scottish polling, and our eagle-eyed viewer spotted that the chart of projected seats wasn’t in proportion.
So we measured, and this is what it should have looked like.
With there only having been three hours of the Scottish political party leaders (and Jim Murphy) debating on TV so far this week, and four days to wait for another one, BBC Scotland thought they might need another 40 minutes on this afternoon’s Sunday Politics Scotland to discuss the issues around the forthcoming general election.
It went well, but for busy readers in a hurry we’ve edited the show down to a compact nine-minute cut, which still gets across everything the full version did.
A great example of adult discourse, expertly set. Well done, everyone.
There’s very little actual political news today, so the papers have largely been forced to either basically not have any at all (the Sunday Post and Scottish Sun On Sunday) or make up totally mad stuff for laughs to fill the space.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Scottish Liberal Democrat manifesto 2015:
I voted for this pathetic shower of useless snivellers for 23 years, folks. I’ve learned my lesson. Once again, I can only hang my head and beg forgiveness.
With the “biggest party forms the government” lie now sunk and rusting slowly on the seabed (weighed down even further by polls suggesting that Labour actually will be the largest party even if they lose all of Scotland to the SNP), and four weeks of campaigning left to fill, Scottish Labour have had to grab a hammer, smash the glass on the “EMERGENCY – IN CASE OF DESPERATION” box and clutch desperately at whatever they found inside.
The abject answer is “Project Fear 2 – This Time It’s Full Fiscal Autonomy”.
After this week’s STV and BBC debates, in which the Scottish Labour branch-office manager’s combative performances were favourably received by the Scottish media, Wings exclusively interviews armed-forces enthusiast Jim Murphy for a response to the latest numbers from YouGov, pausing first for the delivery of some refreshments.
GM on Contempt Of Government: “Bang on the money there Robert. Non the less it is interesting that she was picked out from the crowd…” Dec 19, 22:09
Peakcrew on A matter of class: “This not the first time Kemp has done this. Claims under multiple heads failed because he found doctors more “credible”…” Dec 19, 21:44
Hatey McHateface on A matter of class: “So why did you leave early?” Dec 19, 21:05
Hatey McHateface on A matter of class: “They’ll be sniffing aroond yer erse next, Northy. It must be the dug in ye. Bad dug! Nae biscuit! If…” Dec 19, 20:53
Oneliner on A matter of class: “I’m just back from the Duff & Phelps Christmas party. They’re all having a good laugh over there.” Dec 19, 20:36
Northcode on A matter of class: “I feel it is incumbent upon me to warn those who find themselves, perhaps in a confused daze, perpetually sniffing…” Dec 19, 20:29
Marie on A matter of class: “Significant falls in the number of mainly women (working class) applying to Scottish nurse training courses year on year. This…” Dec 19, 20:10
Lorncal on Contempt Of Government: “Start stealing their knickers, Lee. If they say anything – they’ll probably blame each other first – step in and…” Dec 19, 20:10
Lorncal on A matter of class: “You hit the nail plum on the head, Rev. It was a travesty. Legally, contemporaneous notes can be strongly evidential…” Dec 19, 19:58
Mark Beggan on A matter of class: “Socialism is a parasite that feeds on the host nation (fanny).” Dec 19, 19:58
Hatey McHateface on A matter of class: “It’s naw, though. I’ve checked. Your vision’s getting blurry, Northy. What have you been up to?” Dec 19, 19:52
Mark Beggan on A matter of class: “The Red menace contaminated the water long before that. Or was it the will of God. No. Alas it’s University…” Dec 19, 19:43
Northcode on A matter of class: ““You missed ane, Northy, Scottish Water.” Nope… it’s right there in the “whatever else is left over” class of things…” Dec 19, 19:42
Hatey McHateface on Contempt Of Government: “I think of the (checks pocket edition of Fanon) hundreds of millions dead at the hand of oppressive, alien colonialism…” Dec 19, 19:34
Mark Beggan on A matter of class: “You’re on those magic mushrooms again.” Dec 19, 19:33
Lorncal on Contempt Of Government: “I would agree with that, Hatey. Our instincts are honed through millennia to protect us. That is why it is…” Dec 19, 19:27
Lorncal on Contempt Of Government: “It is the indulgence of these men in public spaces that is the real problem, James. I have to say…” Dec 19, 19:22
Hatey McHateface on A matter of class: ““NHS, civil service, police force, Judiciary, local councils, education authorities, transport and shipping, financial institutions; arts and culture, the Scottish…” Dec 19, 19:18
Northcode on A matter of class: “The only folk surprised by all this ‘stuff’; this “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” stuff; this “Independence Day” stuff; this…” Dec 19, 18:50
Hatey McHateface on Contempt Of Government: “Animals have “norms” through the functioning of instinct. People have instincts too, far more so than we want to admit.…” Dec 19, 18:48
Ken MacIntyre on Contempt Of Government: “Anarcho tyranny defined: ‘the combination of oppressive government power against the innocent and the law-abiding and, simultaneously, a grotesque paralysis…” Dec 19, 18:40
100%Yes on Contempt Of Government: “I willing to be a well cooked sausage that Bridget Phillipson has banged on over the years while she been…” Dec 19, 18:35
panda paws on Contempt Of Government: ““She is only the SNP’S Minister for Education so ‘m dubious she’s even bothered to try.” Bridget Philipson is the…” Dec 19, 18:28
twathater on Contempt Of Government: “TBQH is anyone surprised at Philipson she has previous for supporting the woke lunacy as does her whole party and…” Dec 19, 18:20
Aidan on The Idiot Rodeo: “Here here CC, well said. How a scumbag bottom feeder like James gets to look down on anyone is beyond…” Dec 19, 18:15
twathater on A matter of class: “Thank you for this post Gethin , And YET all this evidence about their conjecture allied with the obvious myriad…” Dec 19, 18:15
PC Foster on Contempt Of Government: “Maybe they should take up competitive Fencing or Boxing or some other sport- then they will see that you are…” Dec 19, 18:05
Mark Beggan on A matter of class: “DEI. We need to weed the garden. After all weeds are just flowers in the wrong place.” Dec 19, 18:03
Hatey McHateface on Contempt Of Government: “Announce you’re trans (stay intact, no desperate measures!) and live the life full time. Ladies bogs, getting naked in your…” Dec 19, 18:02
Aidan on The Idiot Rodeo: “You’re right Northcode, any time spent engaging with you is a losing endeavour” Dec 19, 18:00