In the dying days of World War 2, as Berlin crumbled to rubble under Russian bombs and rockets, the Nazis played a desperate last card in the shape of the Volkssturm, an ad hoc fighting force primarily comprised of old men, invalided veterans and those not deemed fit for normal military service. (As most of those were already dead.)
They were rounded up and sent off to the front (usually only a few hundred yards away) in their civilian clothes, armed with whatever odds and sods of weaponry could be scrabbled together – most commonly the one-shot Panzerfaust anti-tank grenade, as seen in the pic above – and invariably slaughtered in the streets by the disbelieving battalions of the Red Army, because it didn’t matter to Hitler whether they lived or died.
So there it is. In a massive, humiliating and abrupt reverse, the Scottish Greens have announced that they’ll support the Scottish Government – still led for the foreseeable future by Humza Yousaf – in this week’s confidence motion.
Shockingly enough, the debate about the Greens’ principles, intellectual consistency and integrity was an extremely brief one. Faced with the loss of their relevance and influence, they crumbled like month-old carrot cake and rushed their cards onto the table before the SNP had time to do any thinking.
Any hope Kate Forbes might have had of leading the SNP just evaporated, and so did any hope of grown-up government between now and 2026. The SNP will now spend the next two years as pathetic, grovelling puppets, doing whatever the Greens want as long as the paycheques and pension contributions keep rolling in.
It’s a tragic demise for a party that just a couple of years ago still crushed all before it in Scottish politics. But that’s showbiz, folks.
We don’t really have very much to add to our analysis of yesterday. Sunday’s papers and politics shows have just confirmed our view of where things stand.
But for those whose heads are spinning, let’s see if we can make it simpler.
It’s probably as good an illustration of the madness currently engulfing Scottish politics as anything that the most unusual suspect, Anas Sarwar, may have just – temporarily at least – saved Humza Yousaf’s job.
And although our head hurts already, we’ll try to explain why.
We’ll make this short, because we’ve had a long day. Wings is told by a very reliable source that there’s ANOTHER emergency Cabinet meeting scheduled for tomorrow morning, which at least means we get to use this image now.
News reaches Wings this evening that Humza Yousaf has called an emergency meeting of the Scottish Cabinet at 10 o’clock tomorrow morning, just a couple of hours before FMQs. (This information has been confirmed directly to us by a source very close to a member of said Cabinet.)
An emergency Cabinet meeting is an extraordinarily rare event. As far as we’re able to establish there have only been two during the SNP’s time in power – when the budget failed to pass in 2009 and Alex Salmond’s administration had to decide whether or not to trigger a general election, and one the day after the Brexit vote to supposedly plan a second indyref (LOL). But in any case they’re extremely unusual.
The subject of the meeting has not been disclosed to us. It could, for example, concern imminent developments in Operation Branchform, or it could relate to the Bute House Agreement between the SNP and the Scottish Greens. The men in grey kilts may have come for the FM. Or Scotland could be about to declare war on Morocco or something. But we are told that the fact of the meeting taking place is a 100% certainty.
So no sleeping in tomorrow, readers. It’s probably going to be big.
Chas on Looking up at the stars: “A wise man said ‘it is difficult to ignore the posts of Geri, Baird, Confused, Cheyne to name but a…” Mar 15, 16:45
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “Alright Geri – if it’s not total nonsense, what date can we expect ration books to be introduced?” Mar 15, 15:18
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “HMcH Ah! You can take the shirker out of the Proud Boys but you can’t take the Proud Boys out…” Mar 15, 14:24
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “As long as he wears his stab vest he’ll be fine.” Mar 15, 13:45
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Good post, Geri. If what you write is true, Indy is becoming ever more of a slam dunk proposition with…” Mar 15, 13:26
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Fa’s Northy? Is he awa in London at the protest? If ye are, Northy, I’m the one wearing the tea…” Mar 15, 13:14
Geri on Looking up at the stars: ““It’s nonsensical demented ranted which isn’t based on any facts or evidence or analysis of any description.” LOL! Is two…” Mar 15, 13:01
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “What’s wrong with phrases up to and including; “The U.K. is a vassal state” “Scotland has no economy” “We’ll be…” Mar 15, 11:51
Dan on Looking up at the stars: “@Aidan What’s actually wrong with what Geri has stated. The content of the post touches on various relevant matters as…” Mar 15, 10:30
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “Yes Geri – I am struggling to simultaneously; a) finish my morning coffee; and b) arrange for you to be…” Mar 15, 10:30
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “You can’t ever know for sure your dugs don’t fancy me, Geri. Try not to let that keep you awake…” Mar 15, 10:12
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Hark at shitface. The only thing you’ve signed up to in yer sad life is online chat forums 24/7. You’ve…” Mar 15, 10:01
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “On the plus side, Geri, the F16s will finally get off the ground. So not all bad.” Mar 15, 09:57
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Oh, you cannie multi task? Wid it be bot overload?” Mar 15, 09:55
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Naw, why don’t you give us a clue, Dumbo? We all know who uses “alert readers” tho to try mimic…” Mar 15, 09:50
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Enjoying the overnight posts. Good to see supposedly Sovereign Scots so keen to have a go. The first Orcs or…” Mar 15, 09:42
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “@James Isn’t your eyesight a bit “challenged” for you to be volunteering? I’m not seeing you manning any barricades unless…” Mar 15, 09:24
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Geri says: Boom. Boom. Alert readers will spot the other regulars who also say Boom. Boom. I wonder how many…” Mar 15, 09:14
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “It’s harakiri. Unless you’re actually on about some kind of solitary pastime.” Mar 15, 09:10
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Because, thicko, the UK is a Vassal state. You’re colonised. Did ye not know that? You’ll buy LNG & Oil…” Mar 15, 09:09
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “A warning from history. In 1979 the Marxist movement in Iran joined with the clerics to produce what we now…” Mar 15, 07:38
Sven on Looking up at the stars: “I enjoyed your wee ditty ‘Bout a Prince once so pretty. But, now I fear He’s no longer so dear…” Mar 15, 07:09
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “I wasn’t aware that anyone on here was having a sensible conversation on either energy or food security, but if…” Mar 15, 07:07
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Two little boys Had two little toys One a tottie boat grey The other a helicopter-green, and Happily they played…” Mar 15, 06:22
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Careful you don’t catch that zip running up the back of yer napper..” Mar 15, 02:23
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Get a grip, ya balloon. Hello! Is that the polis? Someone upset me on the internet… Whhhhaaaaaa! Whaaaaa! I’m sure…” Mar 15, 02:15
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “If you comment on this platform again I will report your comment to the Police. Just fucking try me. Prick.” Mar 15, 00:34