Summer is, as we’ve said before, the “silly season” for politics. Wings readers will have noticed that like everywhere else, we’ve been rather lighter on content than usual for the last three months as politicians celebrated their general election victories by giving themselves long holidays – sorry, “time for constituency work” – and in the absence of a referendum campaign to fill the gap there wasn’t much going on.
So we can’t blame the media for raking over old ground in search of anything to fill threadbare column inches with. But it’s less excusable when the things they choose to reheat, repackage and reissue are ancient, endlessly-disproven lies.
Let’s start off by losing some more friends. This site has no time for the Gaelic lobby. The obsolete language spoken by just 0.9% of Scotland’s population might be part of the nation’s “cultural heritage”, but so were burning witches and replacing Highlanders with sheep and we don’t do those any more either.
Being multilingual is an excellent thing, but the significant amount of time and effort taken to learn a literally-pointless second language (because everyone you can talk to in Gaelic already understood English) would be vastly better directed to picking up one that was actually of some use, and every extra fraction of a second spent scanning a road sign trying to find the bit you can read is a fraction of a second spent with your eyes off the road.
Non-primary native languages are a tool whose main utility in practice is at best the exclusion of outsiders, and at worst an expression of dodgy blood-and-soil ethnic nationalism. They’re a barrier to communication and an irritation to the vast majority of the population, who are made to feel like uncultured aliens in their own land.
But we’d still rather put up with Gaelic than complete idiots making our laws.
We were greatly amused to learn this morning that Professor Adam Tomkins of Glasgow University, the bad-tempered darling of the Scottish Conservatives and the only political pundit who can make Alan Cochrane of the Telegraph seem measured and thoughtful, plans to stand for election to the Scottish Parliament next May.
We suspect he’ll succeed, too. It now seems plain that Ruth Davidson’s move earlier this month from the Glasgow list to the Lothian one was a ploy to get Prof. Tomkins to the top of the former, and while a Tory list seat in Glasgow is by no means a certainty next year, it’s more likely than not.
(We’ll be somewhat startled if the irritable English academic finds the courage to even try contesting a constituency in Scotland’s largest city. It’s moderately possible that his abrasive hectoring of Scottish voters’ stupidity in continuing to elect the SNP might not go down too well in the council schemes of Easterhouse and Drumchapel.)
Trying to pick out the funniest line in the announcement is no easy task.
Yesterday we noted an interesting apparent shift in the BBC’s political stance with regard to Scotland. Two serving senior political reporters have made open attacks on the SNP, backed up by other media and politicians, seemingly abandoning all notions of the impartiality to which the BBC is bound by charter.
(The Guardian’s hostile editorial was particularly bizarre, suggesting that devolving control of broadcasting in Scotland to Holyrood would turn the BBC into a mouthpiece of government, which inescapably suggests that the current Westminster-controlled BBC is a tool of either Labour or the Tories, depending which one is in power.)
This morning’s edition of The Times is the latest to join the offensive.
You’d put this down as a slip of the tongue, but when it came in the middle of an extended bout of bodyswerving John Mackay’s straightforward question about a referendum on Trident, maybe Kezia Dugdale really was just saying what she meant.
Stat-pummelled readers will be glad to know that this is the last article we plan to write about the vagaries of the AMS electoral system, and how it might apply to next year’s Scottish Parliament election, for some time. This one also shouldn’t be full of tables and figures, so strap yourself in and let’s get this job finished.
We’ve only ourselves to blame, we’d be the first to admit. When we titled yesterday’s piece “AMS for lazy people” it was pretty much an invitation for people to get us to do their research for them, and so it proved.
Even as we slumped exhausted over a red-hot calculator, several readers wasted no time demanding a breakdown of how the mechanisms of the electoral system had affected last year’s European elections, in which UKIP defied some expectations (and delighted the Unionist parties and media) by taking a seat in Scotland.
TURABDIN on Clocks And Calendars: “THE UNITED KINGDOM, united in homogenized banality. What’s not to like?” Mar 31, 15:54
Peter McAvoy on Clocks And Calendars: “Today on the BBC Scotland news website mentioned that the Alexander Dennis factory in Falkirk is to close and the…” Mar 31, 15:14
Aidan on Protest But Don’t Survive: “Do they really? If these regimes are so popular, then why do they need to imprison and execute people for…” Mar 31, 15:00
Captain Caveman on Protest But Don’t Survive: ““I live in Scotland” 😀 Yeah, course you do mate (lol). Along the same lines as “I’ve never been banned”,…” Mar 31, 14:52
Geri on Protest But Don’t Survive: ““working this site” Are you a rent boy? LOL! blimey. I can see the relevance to yer handle now, insider.…” Mar 31, 14:47
Geri on Protest But Don’t Survive: “I live in Scotland. Unlike you three deadbeat fuds. No one is interested in yer Reform pish around these parts.…” Mar 31, 14:40
Insider on Protest But Don’t Survive: ““Geri” You are, by far, the most obvious foreign-based troll “working this site”. Piss off !” Mar 31, 14:23
Aidan on Protest But Don’t Survive: “I can say with absolute confidence that the quality of life in the U.K. and in Scotland is much much…” Mar 31, 14:21
Captain Caveman on Protest But Don’t Survive: “… Whereas you don’t even live in the fucking UK, “Geri”, let alone Scotland, so maybe pipe down mate.” Mar 31, 14:01
Geri on Protest But Don’t Survive: ““Heh. Like, as if that imbecile is on the Electoral Roll… probably doesn’t even have a fixed address.” Says the…” Mar 31, 13:54
Captain Caveman on Protest But Don’t Survive: “Ah well, at least you have a sense of humour! 😀” Mar 31, 13:44
Geri on Sicknote Slippers: “The defeat of the SNP will come when there is an indy party to replace them. Until then there won’t…” Mar 31, 13:35
Captain Caveman on Protest But Don’t Survive: “Ah… well then, maybe he can nominate the cornershop where he purchases his daily supply of eight cans of “Ace”…” Mar 31, 12:59
Rob on Clocks And Calendars: “Like it or not folk are voting for these morons.” Mar 31, 12:48
Aidan on Protest But Don’t Survive: “Unfortunately CC that isn’t going to stop him, from the electoral commission website: How can homeless people register? A homeless…” Mar 31, 12:34
Aidan on Sicknote Slippers: “Liberate have absolutely no chance whilst the SNP has a death grip on the independence movement. Nobody knows who they…” Mar 31, 12:32
TURABDIN on Clocks And Calendars: “How to «grok» Scottish politics and is it worth the effort….. the Martian pondered.” Mar 31, 12:00
Geri on Sicknote Slippers: “Scotlands vote means absolutely ZERO to Westminster unless it is for an Independence party. Any Scot even contemplating a vote…” Mar 31, 11:51
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “To argue with a fool only creates two fools. So yes I totally agree Geri.” Mar 31, 11:48
Jamie on Sicknote Slippers: “Southern bystander- Scotland can’t control what England votes so for sure, people can consider what England votes but ultimately what…” Mar 31, 11:39
Southernbystander on Sicknote Slippers: “My impression is that though Reform is unionist through and through, in other respects some posters support Reform policies on…” Mar 31, 11:15
Geri on Clocks And Calendars: “Should’ve said: “If this till is short – there’ll be questions for the thieving bastards that took it” Cause the…” Mar 31, 10:28
Jamie on Sicknote Slippers: “I really do not see how a vote for Reform which is basically a vote for unionism and austerity helps…” Mar 31, 09:57
JPFife on Clocks And Calendars: “What do you think the chances of Sarwar getting a seat rather than getting in on the list, due to…” Mar 31, 09:04
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “Beggars You missed out Enoch Powell’s “rivers of blood” hysteria in your post. A but remiss of you there “old…” Mar 31, 02:59
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “Now now Beggars, don’t get carmugeonly.. Pains me to say it, but Baby Uncle Sam has done what Amnesiac Baby…” Mar 31, 02:50
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “Any gamblers amongst us? General election before 2029. 3/1 General election 2027. 7/1 General election 2026. 11/1 Marshall Law declared.…” Mar 31, 02:12
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “I don’t think you understand what’s going on geopolitically. There’s a new sheriff in town. The war has been won.…” Mar 31, 02:07
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “Beggars That’s LONG since breached paying for rusted subs and missiles that go “plop” – and you didn’t even notice…” Mar 31, 01:03