The proceedings at the Supreme Court this week were a tough follow even if you could get the court’s abominably bad livestream to work. They’re all archived here now, but non-lawyers will probably glaze over quickly during the nine hours of intense legalese.
We’re not allowed to clip up any illustrative sections, on pain of possible contempt of court, so perhaps the best way to explain the key parts of what happened in a vaguely comprehensible way is by showing you some commentary from social media.
Many expert observers have already noted that the document flatly contradicts the Scottish Government’s previous repeated and strenuous assertions that a Gender Recognition Certificate confers “no new rights” on trans people, and have published extremely detailed assessments which are frankly all but impenetrable to non-lawyers but basically conclude that the Scottish Government’s position is a mess.
Our favourite line, however, is this one.
So if you’re obliged to have a 50/50 sex balance in your boardroom, you can do it by hiring a man with a GRC saying he’s legally female, or by hiring a woman.
We believe that the young folk nowadays call that a “self-own”.
As a lifelong political geek and former SNP and Alba Party member, I’ve spent years supporting Scotland’s independence movement. However, over the last few years, I’ve watched the campaign (as opposed to support for independence) wither away. Being a Scottish nationalist has become increasingly disheartening, like watching someone you love succumb to a slow, debilitating illness. In frustration, I switched off from my homeland and turned my focus to the drama of US politics.
Over the last three years I immersed myself in it, watching both left and right-wing outlets. I became so hooked and invested that I jumped on a plane to Washington DC for the 2024 election. I canvassed with DC Democrats in rural Pennsylvania (that’s me third from the left in the pic below), attended Kamala Harris’s concession rally, and went to Trump’s only watch party in DC.
My journey led me to believe that Scotland’s independence campaign could learn a great deal from Trump’s victory and the Democrats’ failure.
We’ll give you three guesses as to the highly controversial and extravagantly taxpayer-funded organisation that has its rainbow fingerprints all over this story, readers.
So it looks like the USA has elected a mad orange rapist convicted of 34 felonies who could yet be in jail by the time of his inauguration. (He would remain President even if that happened, which would be really funny.) And we can’t even blame them for it, because the alternative they were offered was, remarkably and stupendously, worse.
To be honest, readers, the peculiar events of yesterday continued to nag at us all day as every news broadcaster in Scotland and beyond leapt eagerly on the ludicrous non-story from the Herald On Sunday’s front page. (It was even the #2 item on BBC Radio Wales, inexplicably).
For such an absolute nothingball of scurrilous sub-gossip to so dominate the entire news media was just too strange to ignore. We cannot remember the last time a low-grade freelancer managed to sell the same story to FOUR major Scottish newspapers – who normally, remember, only want exclusives for their big front-page splashes – let alone a crummy opinion columnist (not even an actual news reporter) who’s only been back in journalism for five minutes after a 15-year break as a failed PR guru.
(Once they’d all run the shoddy hatchet piece, TV and radio then had all the excuse they needed to blare it across the airwaves. “Oh, it’s not us inflating and amplifying this garbage, guv, we’re just reporting what the papers are saying.”)
So in our eternal quest for enlightenment and understanding we thought we’d see if we could find out a bit more about the little-known but recently-revived sleeper assassin with the ironic name: Carlos Alba.
Luigi on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “NS appears to be completely captured and owned by the British state. I don’t know what leverage the security services…” Sep 24, 07:52
Spartan 117 on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “It’s my own belief that warmongering politicians should be locked in a room with their adversaries and left to sort…” Sep 24, 07:39
willie on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “It is a brutally sad fact of life but one of the Scottish Government is a bloated inefficient administration. The…” Sep 23, 21:26
Ex President Xiden on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “I would personally warm to ‘war game’ sending these politicians to the front lines themselves and we could watch the…” Sep 23, 20:56
Hatey McHateface on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “The world will buy them from the Covids. It’s worth repeating that the imbalance in trade between the EU and…” Sep 23, 20:22
Hatey McHateface on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Check out the big brain on Minceheid! If I lend you my sock puppets starter set, any chance you could…” Sep 23, 20:06
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: ““Strengthening international law through greater cooperation between the HRC and the UN GA” Video from Yesterday’s UN Geneva Event (22nd…” Sep 23, 20:03
Mark Beggan on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “(a very apt analogy). That’s for the readers to decide. Yes that’s a pretty good analogy.” Sep 23, 19:59
Minceheid on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Hatey McHateface says: 23 September, 2026 at 7:12 pm What do you think is going on in Ir@n right now?…” Sep 23, 19:48
Spartan 117 on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Stop being lazy/deliberately obtuse and READ THE FUCKING ARTICLES. Twat.” Sep 23, 19:34
Spartan 117 on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: ““The plan for the reorganisation of local councils is needless and an excuse for the reduction of services,staff and budgets…” Sep 23, 19:18
Hatey McHateface on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Man, Spartan, I’m gonna have to learn Gaelic, maybe Esperanto, perhaps “learn your alphabet with Sock Puppets”. Not one of…” Sep 23, 19:12
Spartan 117 on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “A Tory and a Snip, quite a peculiar pairing. Unless you take the view that the establishment parties of Red/Blue/Orange/Green…” Sep 23, 19:09
Spartan 117 on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Socialists like keeping the poor *poor*. A substantive chunk of them are druggies themselves (c.f. drug swabs at the House…” Sep 23, 19:06
Mark Beggan on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “How will the world survive without ceramic pots and doggy jackets?” Sep 23, 19:05
Willie on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “A neglected third world statelet. As the late Ricky Fulton would say…..Naw, of course not!! Scotland may have some of…” Sep 23, 18:33
Tommy B on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Huh https://www.scottishdailyexpress.co.uk/news/scottish-news/crown-wants-natalie-mcgarrys-tory-29625480.amp” Sep 23, 18:18
Mark Beggan on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “And puts the fear of God into others. Trump Derangement Syndrome.” Sep 23, 17:56
Spartan 117 on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Sigh. Ok Hatey, here you go, you asked. Just a few headlines from the past four days:- “Unprecedented threat’ of…” Sep 23, 17:50
Peter McAvoy on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “The Scottish Parliament should remain with its present amount of members. Would anybody who supports a team in any sport…” Sep 23, 17:42
Spartan 117 on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Ah, a very typical article from TeH GrAuNiAd. Hysteria sans context. Bearing in mind this is all “mibbes aye, mibbes…” Sep 23, 17:10
Spartan 117 on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Trump might be an arse but he does wind up all the right people. A bit like Michael O’Leary.” Sep 23, 17:02
Spartan 117 on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Yes James in other words “It’s a scam that doesn’t actually serve anything other than the Cooncil pension pot, we…” Sep 23, 17:01
agentx on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: ““Double parliaments, double taxation bills for Scotland, this scam will apply to any devolved area I presume,” ———————————————— No -…” Sep 23, 15:53
lothianlad on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Even the sight of her ( sturgeon) makes me sick!!” Sep 23, 14:50
lothianlad on Fear And Favour: “Hold them to account! they will be exposed.” Sep 23, 14:43
Alf Baird on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: ““the ” Republic of Scotland ” that has become a Colony of Englands Great Britain parliament” Oor colonial reality is…” Sep 23, 14:20
Mark Beggan on His Majesty’s Loyal Sabre: “Well Trumpy certainly smacked a few bottoms yesterday. Some of them won’t sit down for a week.” Sep 23, 14:04