Last month saw the first meeting between the UK Brexit delegation and the EU’s, and by many accounts it fell far short of the UK’s expectations. David Davis spent months drumming up the “strong and stable” approach which would see both the divorce deal and the subsequent post-Brexit trade deal negotiated simultaneously. He was told by everyone that this wouldn’t happen, but simply brushed off the warnings. When push came to shove, he finally accepted that he’d have to negotiate the divorce deal first.
This is just the latest in a long string of failures and ineptitudes over the course of the UK’s handling of the whole farcical process and it got me thinking. If Scotland had voted Yes in 2014, what would it have looked like if the Scottish Government had handled that vote the way the UK has managed Brexit?
Millionaire-funded diehard loyalist forelock-tugging faction Scotland In Union published an extraordinary blog post yesterday.
Its 606 words comprised a sort of Caledonian Cringe Greatest Hits, allegedly penned by someone called Fiona Annesley (of whom we’re told nothing else, and who has no detectable online presence), but the line that particularly caught people’s eye was this:
The complete series so far. If you’ve got a story like this to tell, or you know anyone who does, Phantom Power want to hear from you – drop them a line.
I went to “Dunkirk” at the cinema today. If you want to know what it’s like, just watch this trailer 40 times in a row and save yourself the £12.
It’s a poor movie, disjointed and aimless and curiously lacking in tension or narrative given the real-life subject matter. (It’s remarkably short on dialogue, which is lucky because you can barely make out any of what little script or story there is from behind the endlessly howling one-note airhorn of the soundtrack. It’s a bit like someone filmed an IKEA assembly manual in live action during a Formula 1 race.)
But I couldn’t help thinking that part of the reason it was so unengaging was because it felt akin to watching a boxing match between two fighters you don’t like. If Mike Tyson took on Tyson Fury, would you cheer for the rapist or the anti-Semitic homophobe?
Today’s Daily Record covers the story we mentioned yesterday about a report from a Scottish Labour campaign group making the pretty factually-uncontestable point that the branch office’s dismal strategy in last month’s election held the UK party back.
We’ll be honest with you here, readers – even though it’s only July, when it comes to sheer ham-fisted, tin-eared, clown-shoed, foot-shooting idiocy we didn’t think anything in Scottish politics in 2017 could possibly top the SNP’s decision that the surefire way to win back voters after a poor election result was literally mutilating puppies.
After all, that’s the sort of thing you say as a self-evidently ludicrous and hyperbolic joke: “Ha ha, the SNP are so dominant in Scotland these days that the only way they could lose an election would be if Nicola Sturgeon went on telly and started hacking the tails off week-old puppy-dogs without anaesthetic! LOL!!!!!”
It couldn’t even be defended as a grotesque but cynically cunning attempt to win votes from the rural hunting-and-fishing lobby – they did it right AFTER the election, when all those people had just gone out and voted Tory anyway.
But bless their hearts, Scottish Labour never once saw a low bar that they didn’t try to slither under, and today they pulled off the seemingly impossible.
Broadly speaking, the psychological phenomenon known as the Pollyanna Principle is a tendency to neurotically see the most positive possible view of a situation. It’s not generally widely found in newspapers – for whom bad news as a rule sells much better than good news – but for some reason the Scottish press makes a uniform exception when it comes to military shipbuilding.
This, for example, is today’s Herald:
Now, in itself that headline is – unusually – true, so far as it goes. But it only takes until the first sentence of the article text before things start to fall apart.
Ex President Xiden on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “Which prime minister closed the most coal mines in the U.K. and was the first to stop school children receiving…” Aug 13, 07:28
James Barr Gardner on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “Nicola Sturgeon’s interview with Julie Etchingham is just as big a car crash as Prince Andrew’s interview with Emily Maitlis.” Aug 13, 03:40
aLurker on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “” JOANNA CHERRY: She’s promised to tell the unadorned truth… but will Nicola Sturgeon’s book answer any of the embarrassing…” Aug 13, 01:31
Young Lochinvar on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “Can I also just add, the “re-elect now” 2016 election image in the article: I certainly don’t remember/ recall such…” Aug 12, 23:59
Young Lochinvar on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “Thought provoking post Sally. I think you are right to be cynical as she will be angling on most men…” Aug 12, 23:44
Young Lochinvar on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “Big Jock Well spotted! All political careers end in failure. She’s just unwittingly lit the blue touch paper to hers;…” Aug 12, 23:38
Young Lochinvar on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “Perhaps I’m being lazy not searching but how many pages are there in this book? Lordy Rev; this looks to…” Aug 12, 23:23
Sally Hughes on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “There’s a huge amount of financial reward, from big pharma, re the gender/woke issue. Perhaps, one day, the evidence of…” Aug 12, 23:17
Big Jock on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “She has gone full lesbian now. Gone are the sharp business suits and thin figure. Replaced by men’s jeans and…” Aug 12, 23:15
robertkknight on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “I managed to keep a straight face for about 5 seconds there, Mr Scott. My apologies… I’d hoped to string…” Aug 12, 22:51
Hatey McHateface on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “She kept us all safe through the Covid Years, when the evil BoJo would have killed all of us Scots,…” Aug 12, 22:51
Confused on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “yeah, but you like it, don’t you and you want the rest of us to like it too” Aug 12, 22:47
Hatey McHateface on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “Perhaps more true to the actual, lived reality: Frankly, My Queer, I Very Much Do Give A Damn. Isn’t that…” Aug 12, 22:38
Alan Scott on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “Nicola was a great leader. I can’t understand all of this carping and criticism.” Aug 12, 22:32
Hatey McHateface on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: ““you must eat a lot of shit then” Course I do, Confused, I’m Scottish. Don’t you live in Pilton, or…” Aug 12, 22:31
Hatey McHateface on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “@ Marie says: 12 August, 2025 at 8:23 pm “No one makes up more Shyte than you Hasbara” Great post,…” Aug 12, 22:04
Hatey McHateface on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “You forgot you are what you eat. Is that you confused again, Confused?” Aug 12, 21:29
Hatey McHateface on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “@ Lorn says: 12 August, 2025 at 8:10 pm “We all carry the can when we elect spineless sock puppets…” Aug 12, 21:27
robertkknight on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “The publishers missed a couple of words off the title… Nicola Sturgeon FRANKLY, WHO CARES?” Aug 12, 21:21
Tartanpigsy on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: ““ TURABDIN says: 12 August, 2025 at 6:40 pm EXTRACTED FROM «FRANKLY». The established narrative now, though, is that I…” Aug 12, 21:02
Big Jock on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “Why would anyone read the memoirs of a serial liar? You have to cast doubt on every single anecdote you…” Aug 12, 20:44
Confused on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “You forgot about EATING THE ENGLISH – that is my favourite plan. You would have to hang the meat for…” Aug 12, 20:39
Lorn on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “They all knew it was illegal (and immoral and anti female human rights), Liz. Yet, they pressed on with it…” Aug 12, 20:35
Lorn on The Endless Evil Of Everyone Else: “The actual truth is that most ‘trans’ offenders are in prison for sex offences and many of them declared themselves…” Aug 12, 20:25