Back in the 1980s there was a hit game for the ZX Spectrum home computer called Worse Things Happen At Sea. In it you play a robot whose job is to get a heavily-laden cargo ship safely to port, except that more and more disasters keep befalling it.
It springs leaks, it veers off course, the engine overheats and the robot’s power runs down, until eventually the catalogue of catastrophes overwhelms the harassed metallic custodian and the boat slides down into the murky depths.
We wonder if that feels familiar to anyone at the moment.
On 23rd March this year, after Alex Salmond was found not guilty of 13 criminal charges in the High Court, I called on the Scottish Government to set up a judge-led inquiry into the allegation that he had been the subject of a conspiracy involving the Scottish Government, which resulted in him being accused of criminal behaviour.
There’s an especially interesting post on the blog of Scottish solicitor-advocate Gordon Dangerfield at the moment, pointing out that there are no legal reasons whatever for the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS) to be withholding documents relating to the allegations against Alex Salmond, and indeed issuing dire threats of prosecution against him or anyone who might put them into the public domain.
(All of the blog’s coverage of the inquiry in general has been expert and revealing, and should be the first stop for readers seeking to understand proceedings.)
The items in question include the infamous WhatsApp messages exchanged by the group of people attempting to have Salmond imprisoned for crimes he didn’t commit, among them SNP chief executive Peter Murrell.
When two of Murrell’s messages were leaked recently it was front-page news in the Scottish press, and generated a huge amount of subsequent coverage. Commentators as diverse as Mandy Rhodes of Holyrood magazine and Alex Massie of the Times and Spectator have noted that while they’d initially disbelieved talk of a conspiracy, the Scottish Government’s actions have given them the opposite impression.
The message log is absolutely central to Salmond’s claim of a conspiracy against him, so the last thing that either COPFS or the leadership of the SNP wants is for it to become public knowledge. Indeed, COPFS has denied that the messages exist at all, which makes it a bit weird that the police are currently conducting a serious criminal investigation into who leaked some apparently entirely imaginary documents.
So it would be quite astonishing if they suddenly disappeared, wouldn’t it?
Readers, we can’t tell you how much we want to get back to just dissecting Scotland’s hopeless Unionist media for a living. It’s a lot more fun than what the current political circumstances are obliging us to do, so you can hardly imagine our excitement when we spotted what looked like an open goal in yesterday’s Mail On Sunday.
Our ears pricked up immediately at the sight of the words “up to”, which is invariably a sign of dodgy doings on the way, and so it proved. The article contained no solid data at all about the size of Scottish Government special advisers’ pay rises, only how many SpAds there were and which general pay bands they were in, each of which spans a wide range of between £14,000 and £23,000.
But while the Mail had spooned the sitter six feet over the crossbar – because the crude spin they’d put on it was total rubbish – there was still a loose ball just waiting to be knocked into the back of the net.
The SNP’s earth-shattering 2011 majority election victory, which paved the way for the 2014 independence referendum, dropped a bomb on Scottish politics.
What few people realised at the time was that it was also going to set up a series of massive paydays for one of Scotland’s wealthiest demographics: lawyers.
SNP Members For Independence? What a ridiculous phrase – surely every member of the SNP is in favour of independence, right?
That’s mostly true of course, but the leadership and many elected representatives of the party appear to be intent on repeating the failed Section 30 route to independence, and also on restricting serious debate about alternative strategies.
It seems that a revised “Plan B” may be discussed at the party conference, still almost two months away, and for all Plan B’s merits it is seriously flawed and its inclusion at the expense of alternative and better plans at conference would merely pay lip service to the term “serious debate”
Something clearly needed to be done, which is why SNP Members For Indy has been set up. So what’s it for and what is it trying to do?
We’re very busy today writing more FOI requests and the like, so we’ll just take a brief moment here to note that hiring super-expensive lawyers to object to the questions you’re being asked DEFINITELY sounds like the behaviour of people who are keen to co-operate fully and in the most transparent way possible with an inquiry:
Having been privileged to serve as SNP National Treasurer, I’m aware of the duties that go with the post. Of course, it’s changed in some ways since then due to the scale of the party, the resources available and even technology. The days are long gone when Joan Knott, who has sadly since passed away, required to take a taxi down to my legal office to have cheques signed between court or clients.
But some things still remain fundamental, and in particular providing annual accounts for the party. That has been done for 2019, in the administrative sense, but what’s missing is their publication and provision either to the NEC or the party more widely.
For sure there’s been no conference but there are other bodies and other ways of making them available to party members. At NEC, conference and indeed anywhere else, members were entitled to see them and question me. It was their right to see them, and it remains so now. So why haven’t they seen them?
A column on a Sturgeon-loyalist indy website that we read yesterday has been mildly annoying us ever since, and in the interests of open debate (but mainly because it’s cold and grey and rainy outside and we can’t go out and feed the swans) we thought it was worth taking half an hour to walk through it a little and explain just why it’s such a dangerous piece of fantasy nonsense.
But first here’s one of said swans. She’s about five months old and her adult feathers are just starting to come through. Isn’t she lovely?
In case things get a bit rough later we’ve got some squirrels and a really fat dachshund as emergency backup, so buckle in.
The comments from committee convener and SNP MP Linda Fabiani (we guess she must be another of those MI5 plants/secret Unionists) are really quite extraordinary. In terms of Parliamentary language they’re only a hair’s-breadth short of an invitation to step outside and settle things with an old-school dust-up in the car park.
100%Yes on The Gulf War: “The SNP has shown to the voters that they aren’t any good in government, they have no ideas and out…” Jan 1, 11:15
Stuart MacKay on The Gulf War: “How big does that margin need to be before it attracts someone to fill that vacuum? And who would it…” Jan 1, 11:13
robertkknight on The Gulf War: “A guid New Year tae ane an aa / Bliadhna Mhath Ùr / Happy New Year Indy for Scotland! SNP…” Jan 1, 10:30
GM on The Fear Of The Briar: “All Alan’s contempt is aimed at Scotland, England or what he calls ‘GB & NI’ gets a pass presumably because…” Jan 1, 10:29
Ronnie on The Gulf War: “Happy New Year tae all. Surely even the most ardent SNP supporter must recognise that Swinney has tae go?” Jan 1, 10:17
Andy Ellis on The Gulf War: “Excellent analysis as always. A wee typographical lapse in No. 8 perhaps….. “even though their own support has only barely…” Jan 1, 09:50
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “And all the best in 2026 for you and the fambly, Ian. Steak Pie Day today and Mrs Chiel’s tiramisu:…” Jan 1, 09:43
duncanio on The Gulf War: “Great analysis, Rev. “The bond between party and goal is broken” is truly a reflection of the association between the…” Jan 1, 09:33
Marie on The Gulf War: “SNP? Not for me. (From a YES voter). Happy New Year.” Jan 1, 09:23
robertkknight on The Fear Of The Briar: “The National? Is that still in print? Who buys that pi$h FFS? And a guid New Year tae ane an…” Jan 1, 02:33
Rob on The Fear Of The Briar: “When has Scotland given mandate after mandate for independence? There was one referendum and it was naw. Voting for the…” Jan 1, 02:13
Al-Stuart on The Fear Of The Briar: “. Oh Stuart Campbell, I just love the forensic analysis and fact-rich way in which you write. Your logic unassailable.…” Jan 1, 00:23
Ian Brotherhood on Off-topic: “Good to see a wee flurry in this place! Just a few minutes to go and those big bad bells…” Dec 31, 23:55
DaveL on The Fear Of The Briar: “@ Alan Scott. You’re living in southern England so which set of muppets do you mean when you say ‘our…” Dec 31, 23:39
Alf Baird on The Fear Of The Briar: “There is no ‘United Kingdom’, its a myth. Scotland was annexed by England and the English crown rebranded as ‘UK’.” Dec 31, 23:37
Northcode on The Fear Of The Briar: “One last dig at the SNP before the bells ring in the new year. The desire of the Scots for…” Dec 31, 23:32
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: ““My husband is the only other person who talks of those wooden stairs to Bedfordshire!” Age-related I suspect, like Lobey…” Dec 31, 23:14
Alan Scott on The Fear Of The Briar: “Can you explain why leaving the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland will improve the calibre of our…” Dec 31, 22:57
sarah on The Fear Of The Briar: “Hi, aLurker: the Inverness event on 7th February is a possibility for me. Though as you suspect, I’m no Spring…” Dec 31, 22:48
sarah on Off-topic: “My husband is the only other person who talks of those wooden stairs to Bedfordshire! We too will be wending…” Dec 31, 22:34
sarah on The Fear Of The Briar: “You’d put off restoring Scotland as a country just because of the current batch of MSPs? You’ll never get a…” Dec 31, 22:29
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Curious Fringes: “‘ST PATRICK’S BREASTPLATE’ (The prayer as recorded is dated on linguistic grounds to the early 8th century.) « Crist lim.…” Dec 31, 22:23
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “@Sarah: something else for your Hogmanay hootenanny and to prove Julie Fowlis is trilingual: www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu_3-VDi7wY Going up wood hill to…” Dec 31, 22:15
sarah on Off-topic: “Hi everyone, sorry to arrive so late at the party. My excuse is that I am still writing my annual…” Dec 31, 22:05
alan scott on The Fear Of The Briar: “That National poll looks like a lot of nonsense to me. When the evil Toaries are in power some polls…” Dec 31, 22:03
Northcode on The Curious Fringes: “Thanks, Sam. A terrific description by Liz Niven on the power and range of the Scots leid. Of course I…” Dec 31, 21:48
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “My comment is now in moderation…..” Dec 31, 20:53
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “Yes, I will raise a glass for Alex as well, Marie. Haven’t opened my Christmas bottle of Aberlour yet but…” Dec 31, 20:52
Marie Clark on Off-topic: “Thanks for that Tinto. I just love Auld Lang Syne to its original tune and we don’t get to hear…” Dec 31, 20:32